The title sums this up very well “Fucked UP” that is how I see my self and how my family and others view me a lot of the time, but we will get to that later. So im new to the site and just out of luck today before I made my final choice I decided to post a small post on here. For both advice and to see what others think. Im a 17 year old male who is: failing school (for two main reasons: one im lazy and two I view myself as stupid or dumb) I also have no job, no car, […]
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Voices In My Head
I’m starting to think I really have a lot of issues, I don’t know what to do with myself and my life. I’m seriously going crazy. I don’t know if it’s my mind playing tricks on me or not. But the voices in my head are starting to win and convince me I’m crazy. The only way to make the voices stop is to do drugs, and I’m scared and alone.
My mind tells me that I am a prisoner trapped in my own fuckin body. I so desperately need to be free from this little thing we call life, to just leave this God forsaken planet. I have so much rage, hate, and anger pent up in side me I literally feel as if I could explode, I try my best to keep it under lock an key (I mean what kind of man can’t even control his own emotions) but sometimes it gets the best of me and I usually end up trying to cave someone’s face in. And it feels great at the […]
Why wont they stop? Im trying to tell myself that everything will be okay..but its not working..i miss him..i miss him so much…our bday is on sunday and he wont be here, why did he have to die? He promised to be with me that i would never be alone again..these voices in my head keep telling me i should be dead too, i tell them to shut up to leave me..but they persist..im just scared..i dont know how to deal with it anymore..
I am new here. I attempted suicide about 3 weeks ago, twice in less than 24 hours. The first time I was found by my siblings who got into my house and the second time, I was found by the police. I ended up in the hospital unconscious for two days and spent a further day in a ward with old people, who were bed ridden. I was under constant observation, not even able to go to the toilet unattended. As a psychology student, it was one of the most degrading and humiliating experiences of my life. I felt so ashamed facing my family after […]
I thought that having a crush was normal. It is, but it’s not when that person is all that you think about. You dream about them. You daydream constantly about them saying that they like you the same way you like them. These things aren’t normal. I think I’m just fucking going insane. Trevor is honestly the only thing I can think about. He’s my safe haven, in a way. I focus on him instead of focusing on how much pain I’m in. I guess it might be normal, but it doesn’t feel that way. I don’t want to go crazy. I don’t want to […]
The only place i really feel safe anymore is church, my friend andrew begged me for MONTHS to go with him and i caved in having given up on religion a long time ago.
Where was god when i got raped? Where was he when i asked for forgivness? To get past these feelings, to fight depression?
So i started going and i’ve started talking to a lady named candice, shes nice and is one of the youth counsulurs there. She knows a bit about my past, but i havent said much.. i’m scared their all gonna abandon me still. My trust, its so hard to earn.. […]
I’m 13 years old, turning 14 in March 13. I’m here again. Alone. I’ve been sexually abused by two family members and physically abused by almost every single person in my family. I’ve been beaten with objects. I can still taste the blood inside my mouth when it got busted and bruised. I’m insecure. I have cuts all over my legs and arms. And I have P.E too, we’re forced to wear shorts, I have to run everyday in the lockers and change as fast as possible making sure no one is able to see. I keep my razor inside my phone case, just in […]
I lay awake at night. Restless. Another sleepless night. The voices spin me around like one of those carnival rides we used to love so much. Out of control. Disoriented. Vertigo.
Heartless. *****. Worthless.
Give me a chance! Forever Alone.
Sing better. Draw better. Play better.
I’ll try harder! A disappointment.
Not pretty enough. Not smart enough. Not kind enough.
I’ll be better! Never good enough.
Hated. Unloved. Pathetic.
Give me a chance! Not wanted.
STOP!
But the voices in my head don’t stop… they never stop. Of course these voices aren’t just in my head.
No wonder I don’t sleep.
I ask you to love me, protect me. This is your job isn’t it? Instead you […]
I have fought severe depression and schizophrenia for a number of years. I go through bad times and then I can suffer through hell for months to a year or so at a time. As I write this I am in a downer period, voices constantly abuse me and tell me to kill myself and hallucinations frighten the absolute shit out of me to the point where I am screaming for help and crying my eyes out. I have had a number of suicide attempts but have been interrupted because of being on constant suicide watch. I did however have 2 very close attempts, on […]
your perfume on the bedclothes
your words are in my head
you spoke and all of my blood froze
if only it was solid now.
your clothes speak softly to me
the voices in my head
all is well and you are free
if only i was solid now.
your voice rings hollow, true
and echoes in my head
i see the pain that i’ve caused you
and i don’t feel so solid now.
the future hangs uncertain, lost
and i know what’s right in my head
i must give back, whatever the cost
it’s the only thing that’s solid now.
I dont want attention. I dont want anyones pity. I dont want people to tell me how I was wronged in this big bad world. I dont want people touching me, hugging me..
I dont want to acknowledge how hard I have been hitting rock bottom for months. Not months, years. Ive been hitting it over and over again, and I think I finally managed to break the ground and go beneath it.
What I really want is for someone to hold me. Not just a hug. I want to be hold all night to wake up in those same arms the next morning. I want […]
Why do people think it’s funny to tell you to go kill yourself. Someone told that to me today and I thought that it wasn’t going hurt me that bad, but it did. The voices in my head started screaming to go do it. I can’t make them go away and the worst part about it is that I was okay with dealing with my suicidal thought for a little while now and I just got sent back to the bottomless well that I can’t find away out of. No one where I am understands what I’m going through and it sucks that they don’t […]
I will never forget this as long as I live. I was 17, I’m almost 21 now, and I was taking a shower one Sunday night. It was June 7, 2009. Two days after my prom, and a month after my boyfriend, who I was madly in love with, broke up with me. I was numb. I stood underneath the water and kept raising the temperature high and higher, burning myself with scalding hot water. I felt like my whole body was withering away, and the pain was magical. I felt as if i could finally feel something again other than darkness and eternal agony.
I […]
I want help, but I want to carry on with this alone. I want my parents to realize that I’m not OK, but I don’t want them to get into my issues. I want to be with my friends, but I feel like I’m in other dimension whenever I’m with them. I want to love myself, but I have never hated me so much. I want the voices in my head to shut up, but they’re the only actual company I have. I want to die, but I want to live.
Okay so i have been through therapy and it made everything worse. I don’t know how to deal with all the voices inside my head telling me what i need to do i am a dyslexic fifteen year old I’m going to be a junior and i don’t want to even see tomorrow. This will be long but i have a lot of reasons i want to disappear.
One is my sister she always puts me down and makes me feel like i don’t belong in the world i wish i could tell here shes a stupid ***** and doesn’t deserve to even see me let alone talk to me.
I […]
Well this is it the end of the line for me at only 15 year old and I can’t naturally smile or laff I’m now an alcoholic and a drug abuser messed up and I hear voices in my head so I am going to end it before I turn into a phsycho ***** and kill someone if I kill me then it won’t be a big deal I have no family or friends will anyone realise I’m dead I don’t know and don’t care I have got to the point where I don’t care if I live or die it will feel the same […]
I’m the type of girl to put on an act to keep the world off my back. Even when I’m trying to push them away, I actually just want someone to stop me and tell me I don’t have to pretend anymore. I’m the girl who sits in her room crying, thinking back to the past and wondering how I ever made it this far.
Everyday I go to school and pretend to be that happy girl you’ll find in every class. Everyone buys my act and they think I’m happy, that nothings wrong, but they’re all wrong.
There will never be a time where I’ve never […]
For the past 2 years, I’m 14 by the way, I’ve been dealing with depression. Major depression. I remember even when I was 12, when everything started- there would be voices in my head that called me so many things that it would be impossible to get them out. Even with counseling, no matter what I poured out it was never enough. There was this big empty gap in my soul and every second, every minute, and every hour of my life it would just keep getting bigger. Last year, I found myself completely gone. I went hysteric and I tried to commit suicide. The […]
this is my second post.this time I’m on the edge and the voices in my head are getting harder to resist.”jump jump it wont hurt and all the pain, fear, darkness will all go away just end it now “. little bastards. sorry for the language. I’m going to break soon and nobody can help me. there are 2reasons I haven’t ended it right now.1 my mom. and2 in heaven or hell wherever I go my dad will be waiting for me and if you read my first post then you will understand why.
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