I’m not really sure what my last post was cuz I am having to write these as they come to me on a word processor and then copy and paste them when I do have internet access. It has its ups and downs. I can’t get distracted by pop ups and the curiosity of social media and all of that meaningless mind wasting junk that it can be. I find that if I can get caught up in all of that it ends up becoming some sort of drama filled b.s. game and I’d rather sit back and and watch then participate in any […]
Tag:
wanted
I’ve been planning on killing my self for a long time I have attempted before but never truely wanted to die but this time I really do I have got 32 ibruprfen will this kill me ?
I was always alone as a kid. I never knew my dad (I’m pretty sure I was artificially inseminated), my sisters ran away from home, and my mom worked two jobs and vented her frustrations on me. I never really knew how to have friends, but I always tried to talk to other kids. It never worked.
I saw people who had “best friends” and big brother, and I wanted those things so badly. I’d go home and just imagine what he’d be like: strong, smart, funny, and like all the music and video games that I did.
When I was turning 17, a mere 10 days […]
Everything is messy. It’s the messed up kind of messy, the disorganized messy, and the kind to be looked down upon.
I’ve come to realize a couple things. The things I think are not truly what I feel or what I believe in or how I am. I thought that the reason I cut myself was for the rush, but all my reasons for cutting feel like excuses and they often contradict each other. Willpower- I thought it had something to do with willpower. I thought it made me feel stronger if I could withstand greater pain (I’m fully aware that that is idiotic looking at […]
ssI’ve gotten to the point to where my head hurts when ever I get even the slightest depressed It hurts so much I can’t stand it. My biggest wish is to be happy. I want a family and kids My girlfriend made me promise I wouldn’t hurt myself. She use to selfharm but she stopped when we started living together and she realized that I cut alot and she wanted us to get better together but its hard for me I don’t want to let her down but when she gets upset I get depressed.. She’s all I have like my mind is so damage […]
I’ve been depressed for a really long time, and I’ve been feeling alone my whole life really. People keep leaving me and now the one person who’s made me feel happy is gonna leave me too. we met in a mental hospital a year ago and we’ve gotten really close. She had really bad eating disorder and i actually got her to start eating again. And I’ve helped to not cut and eventually she did stop,=-)… she keeps asking me why i’m so nice to her and i keep telling her that she’s my best friend and that i care about her when really i have […]
Why do people have to be so mean. Every time i let someone in they always have to hurt me. I hate it how people always say they there gonna be there for me and once they see that i really do care about them they just leave. I just wanted a friend but they eventually just leave, but then they say life is worth living. i just want that oe person who will say they wont leave and then they do. my mom prefers weed ad meth so she’d set me away to my step dads who loves going to the bar. But i […]
I don’t know how to feel about mine and Mrs. K’s relationship. She has been very nice to me and has been helping me with my drug problem and self harming. Last Wednesday when I stayed at her house I was having a really tough time, so she laid with me on the couch and stayed there, I was expecting her to get up and leave when I was asleep, but she didn’t.
At school she kind of was distant. I would try talking to her, just about school stuff, and she would not look me in the eye.
This weekend I went with her to her […]
Everyone depends on me I do everything that I’m told with no questons and I get no appreciation, everyone and everything is leaning on me while I have nothing or no one to lean on… I just wanted to disappear from all of this negativity peacefully… But I don’t think I can muster up the courage to take my own life even though I think about doing it often…. I need a way OUT
For the past 3-4 years of my life, I have urged to become special! I’m not talking about any normal kind of special, I have watched a lot of TV programs and Anime in my life and the characters I see in front of me have these amazing gifts, It fills them with the confidence I wish I had!
I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do is try and conjure up a fireball, pathetic right? I just feel like if I managed to do it then I would feel special, If I could perform real magic then I would be the […]
Friday night I was really lonely and texted everyone I know who goes to my college to find someone to hang out with, or even just to come outside for a little bit to have a cigarette. It wasn’t that late, around 11, and not one of the 10 people I texted wanted to or could. Then one friend texts back and invites me to his friends. We just played pong and drank beers all night, and eventually my friend went home; his other friend was going to walk me home because it’s not a good area to walk around alone. It’s around 2am, his […]
My uncle died back in February. He had a seizure that ultimately took his life. He sat on life support for almost 2weeks before they pulled the plug. When I saw him the first time, I knew there was no chance.
I stood in the hospital room and watched him fight for his life thinking this should be me. I wish I could switch spots. What he do to get what I had been asking for. He wanted to live. I didn’t. He had kids, a wife, and ppl who cared. I don’t. So why did he go instead of me? I know that probably […]
I want people to ask me if I’m okay. I want to know people still care. I want to know I matter. I want to be loved, just like everyone else. I want to be accepted. I want to fit in. I want to be wanted.
I’m so devastated. Every day is just sadness. I live in constant terrible regret. Because I was a coward and couldn’t kill myself the guranteed ways, i live in constant physical pain. I can’t walk and run, my right leg is paralysed and left is nerve damaged. I used to love running. Even though I have always hated myself and suffered from depression, i trained and had a body to be envied. Now, its like ive woken up inside a nightmare, life doesn’t even feel real. Im just so sad. And it’s all my fault. No one else, just me. Suffering. Seeing doctors, specialists but […]
I am 26 yr old male from india. Lost my parents in 2010 due to illness. I have been living alone in my parents house ever since. I was their only child.
Now its 2015 and i am still here in the same house, in the same city. I have completed my graduation(B. Com) in 2008 and got distinction in Cost accounting. But i was not interested in job as i wanted to do MBA. Initially my father agreed to put me through b-school and i gave entrance exams in 2008 and 2009.
In 2009 i got selected in few good b-schools of india but then my […]
Hey umm.. I love this site, and I just wanted to know if there’s a way you can private message on here, or are there chat rooms on other sites that you could suggest to me..?
Depression is getting to the best of me today.
Whoo Hoo.
I woke up in a better mood than usual today, and I can’t tell if that’s good or not. Like the calm before the storm of something like that. I hope it’s not. I want it to just be over.
Anyway, I just wanted to post that it was a good day and I finally started my short story. It turned out to be easier than I thought once I got the ball rolling. It still isn’t really a coherent story just yet, more like a bunch of scenes that I finally typed up. But I’m working on it. Wish me luck.
Hi there. This is my first post. I joined a weeks or so ago to try and help others. I’ve tried to help people all my life. Seems to be the only thing that gets me through. I wasn’t really going to make a post, but tonight I feel like I should. Not really sure if it’s a rant, or what it really is. Just need to say some things.
I’ve been depressed a lot of my life. Seems just haven’t always seemed right. I wouldn’t say it was severe, but it’s definitely been there. I was in a 10 year relationship since I was 13 […]
God is boring . boring God . why human’s imagination & fantasy is better than God boring reality ? why God is boring ?
by niki
written by niki
God is boring . boring God .
why human’s imagination & fantasy is better than God boring reality ?
why God is boring ?
I hate this world . I hate this life . I hate life .
This world is so boring , boring world !
This life is so boring , boring life ! life is boring .
Why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, […]
That’s all I have ever wanted to be; a faithful wife. Sadly, having had you in my life, this will never happen. The only desire in my heart for my entire life has been to simply devote myself completely to someone else and now I know that this will never happen. The depression and anxiety have been eating me alive for years but I hung on with the hope that I would eventually fulfill my dream. Now that this can’t happen, I struggle to even get out of bed in the morning. Oh, I have also since developed bulimia and attempted suicide (though the last […]