Hey everyone..I haven’t posted in a while..So yeah..I found out along with my severe depression and anxiety..I’m bipolar and they can’t even diagnose what stage because of how fast my mood changes. Plus I am on the boarder line of having a personality disorder like split personalities. So I am on mood stabilizers and anxiety meds..I guess they kinda help, they just make me really sleepy is all I know..I also found out that I’m pretty much disabled from having all my problems with my mind and my nerves and all this other stuff so that is just great, I found that out today..I also […]
So basically this is my first post and it’s going to be shitty sorry.
…buuut yeah, my name is Brianna and honestly, I don’t want to be living here on this bullshit planet any longer. I’m tired of getting judged by the music I listento, the clothes I wear, what I look like the next day, and so forth. My life to me is honestly completely useless. I wake up everyday feeling like a mistake, and that I should’ve never been born. I’ve been called names like slut, emo, ****, *****, and been told that no one likes me, I’m depressed all the time, I […]
I have spent a long time reading through this site. But never posted.
For the last 3 years now is struggled with depression, caused by job stress, relationship etc. Over the last two month I hit a patch where my job and my boss brought me right down. I’d entertained the idea of suicide, but could never go any further than that because of my partner, whom I love very much.
So for two months I’ve fought back, getting back to a healthy state, then on saturday night, after a good day in the sun, drinking and enjoying my time with my partner and friends, I go […]
The more I grow up the more I get older
Physically yes, but psychologically more
It’s like we have to be much more colder, to live life without being hurt
We build up walls so that we don’t get burned, that we fight
the urge of genuinely caring for each other.
Sweetheart, I’m only twenty years old and I started building this house of stone guarded by
Thorns to tear apart those
Who try to destroy the only heart
That I have
A lot of people don’t understand that
The joy that I have is not me trying
To be happy
If I were to […]
I am a 17 year old male and for as long as I can remember have been good at everything. I am also pretty good looking but I have been struggling with suicidal thoughts and not for the usual reasons either. I honestly feel there is no point in life. To get old and die one day don’t sound to good to me. Not because I’m afraid of getting old because I see no point in working to take care of myself when ill just die anyway.  I consider my self  strange because I don’t wanna die and say the world is better with out […]
I’ve stopped caring and so has everyone else. I’m struggling to find a reason to keep living this awful life, it’s not like I’ll go far in life anyways. Everyone dies eventually, why can’t I just make it happen for myself?
Love is after us 24/7 . But in the end ,you ended up in Hell…if
you make that fault mistake ………………… but mine you ,you’ll
 still be in Love. I am Human but I bleed just like everyone
else. When she has her trying days, I listened to the rocks and
stones that come my way. Â Is this Love? Love is who you,
Surrender too. Whoever ,you think you where. That’s when
ever thing changes, when Love, comes knocking on your
door. Love blinded you to a Fault, it Trust everything. It has
Faith in honor, without question. Believing is to convince
your mind, that the heart in your soul is safe  ,and that […]
And here I am. Writing on a website my feelings of sadness.
I have no friends. No one to talk to. A crazy family that I live with but try to avoid because of my disagreements of their lifestyle. Im a very stubborn person. I feel that Im broken as a result of my own family. I feel mental anguish. I have RSI in my wrist from too much typing, writing, mouse clicking. I am on medication for something that was caused by my family. I despise medication. I havent had real friends for 7 years. Ive been depressed since I was 16. Even though […]
I can’t stand anything anymore. I’m so bitter about everything. i hate my job, my friends are awful, I am stuck in a town that I have lived in my whole life, i didn’t bother applying for any colleges because my grades always sucked and now I’m stuck going to a stupid community college and I don’t want to go to college right now. I am not mentally stable enough to pass any courses and I have to pay out of pocket because I don’t qualify for any financial aid. But I have to go or else I have to pay my parents rent because […]
I have been waiting at the bus stop of a very long time now, waiting for my bus to come.. the assurance that I CAN get on a bus when ever I want without much Baggage gives me some kind of relief.
This is basically how my day goes. I don’t really get sound sleep during the night, its pretty much disturbed and when ever I wake up in between, during that little time when your sleep gets disturbed and you fall back asleep, I could only think about CTB.
when I wake up in the morning I am pretty sure that today is the day, an […]
Every day I wake up and go through the same shit, nothing necessarily bad, nut nothing good, ever.
Every time I think something good is gonna happen and make stuff better, it doesn’t, and I just end up feeling worse.
I have a lot of friends, and I’m pretty popular, but every fucking day shit gets worse.
I used to be laidback and funny and outgoing and just a nice fucking person but everyday my patience runs shorter and I’m starting to become so paranoid and I get losses off so fucking easily anymore.
This has been ongoing for the past 6 months and it really hasn’t snapped into […]
It’s taken me my whole life to realise that have never been “happy.” I was never happy as a child, tween, and now into my teenage years, my sad feelings have developed into anxiety, anorexia, self harm, and suicidal thoughts. I turned to drug use and alcohol. I still smoke and drink a lot. I have these sleeping pills and sometimes I just hold them and think about how easy it would be to just go. I am disgusted by my body and spirit. I think sometimes, it’s not worth living if I can’t even love myself. I have been trying to like […]
To that little girl, smiling from ear to ear, with no worries on her mind and no demons in her head? Where’s the girl whose smile would light up a room, who laughed like there was no tomorrow, who would spend hours jumping in the rain, where’s the girl who enjoyed life?
What happened to me, what’s wrong with me? Now I am waiting to die, every second of every day just waiting. I’ve been waiting for 4 years now, when will it finally come to an end?
“When you grow up, your heart dies.”-The Breakfast Club.
It took all i had to make this. I couldn’t be any more proud. Days are still hard but I’m happy I reached this point.
I am not going into full detail of all the shit that made me who I am today but I’ll give you a little summary.
I was bullied horribly and pretty severely at a private school with 100+ kids and 20 kids in the grade. You were with the same people your whole pre-k to 8th year.
I contemplated suicide at the age of 11 and still do. I wouldn’t let my mom leave because the thoughts of it were overwhelming. She didn’t leave without me but she didn’t take it seriously. I was really going to take a knife and stab myself in the stomach. She didn’t […]
Has anyone ever kept years worth of emotion bottled up to the point where you’re afraid to release it anymore? to the point that you feel every ounce of rage you can muster suddenly flare whenever the slightest thing irritates you?
This is my third post. It’s been a couple weeks since my last and I’ve gotten a bit better; my first two posts would’ve persuaded any psychiatrist I was ready and willing to commit suicide. I’ve gotten better. Things have started looking up a bit. But that pain still lingers. And with it, an anger I can’t even begin to describe. All my life I’ve […]
Well.How do I start?… Ummm . okay here it goes.Its been almost 4 months that he is gone.I loved him so much and so did he. Yes, my GUY. He died b’cuz of some heart problem. 🙁 . Im 14 years old and life seems like its going to get over.We were in a relationship for 4 years on the whole. He is everything for me.But now I miss him. And I feel like dying . It hurts to know that he is no more, i wanna go away with him.And before he died we fought the other day. He asked me whether I could […]
DON’T YOU DARE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJxgrSCZJ1s
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother, father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts will […]
I think this is the beginning of the end. My 15th birthday was almost a month ago, I wasn’t ever suppose to make it that far. I’m suppose to be dead, I want to be dead. It’s the summer where I live and everyone seems to be having the time of there life, everyone except me. I don’t leave my house, my bed to be more specific. I don’t need to leave the house in order to feel judged, I’m my worse critic. I’m not pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, I’m nothing that anyone wants. I don’t even like myself, let alone love myself. […]
This is my second post. today hadn’t been that good. I’ve been floating in and out of sadness and depression. I’ve begun considering going to see a psychiatrist for my problems; hopefully they’ll be able to answer some of my questions because… I don’t understand this…
Each night I go to sleep, hoping I won’t wake up. During the night I wake and watch the shadows drift around me and beg God to never let it end, to just let those shadows stay forever and take me away into the darkness. Then when the sun rises I’m still breathing and I curse my own being. Getting […]
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