They dont know how badly i want to die. I’m suffocating. Every day is a battle. I think about how easy it is for me to just overdose or cut to deep. dont want to feel pain anymore.I dont want to be stuck here. I can’t do this anymore. I just want someone to notive how much I’m hurting. It hurts so deeply its a struggle to breathe.i cut to take away the pain for awhile. But when it’s this bad i cant do anything. I’m a basket case. I hate it here. I just want to be free of myself. I am […]
February 2012
i suffer from depression and lately i don’t know whats wrong with me but ive been so emotional and sometimes i think it would be better if i wasn’t here anymore. I have friends and everything but sometimes they dont seem like friends if that makes sense maybe im over reacting but i feel alone and i have no one to talk to so i geuss im just venting. I miss someone i was close with she not long ago passed away and all the time i wish it was me instead of her why am i here and why do the good people always […]
I I want to vennt on here but then again i dont. Probably wont just…
i haven’t been on for a long time but it was only cause i thought i found my reason to live… my boy friend, but just an hour ago he told me he had feelings for his ex still… sins then I’ve been wanting to kill myself… are song just came on and its wanting me to do it more. i understand that this is just a part of are relationship between us but i cant help but feel this…  i know im not going to do it.. for him. </3
I suffer from PTSD which creates overwhelming anxiety. I can not stand people in general for tho they pretend to care in reality they do not. a more fair description might be that they care so long as its conveinent. some of the experences that have led to my PTSD include but are not limited to being in a tornado, haveing been on fire twice, watching the person next to me in junior high murdered durring class, being stabbed, constant mental and physical abuse as a child, and most recently listening to my mother shoot herself in the head while talking to me on the […]
Do you believe in signs?
The most important relationship of my life ended a while ago. The relationship with the love of my life; the only person with whom I’ve felt such a strong connection. Stronger than that between my mother, my sister, all of my family. Stronger than anything I’ve felt with my friends(whom I consider to be my true family).
Both of us are mentally ill, suffering from similar maladies. Yet, one year ago(pretty much to the date) I was going through what I then considered to be the most trying time of my life. I was going on trial for a DUI with the […]
im scared that one day im going to kiss the girl i love or tell her i love her and she is just gonna get mad or push me away or never wanna talk to me or see me again or just tell the whole school even though i wanna do it so bad im scared that might happen and my whole life will be turned upside down and i might just kill myself : /
I’m only 13, but I’m smart enough to see the truth. The world has gone to shit, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
My life has been one big downhill fall. I don’t mean to sound whiney or “emo”, but I can’t help it. I completely seclude myself, so I don’t have to deal with the idiots of the world. Homeschool is stressing me out, but I’m terrified to go to normal school. I pick my nails and skin, and continue because the pain is the only feeling I ever have other than apathy and melancholy. My parents don’t understand, my brother doesn’t […]
I may seem like I have a lot, but I don’t. hear me out…
There’s these two guys(we’ll call them Thing 1 and thing 2). Thing 1 and I met about a year and a half ago. When we met, I was dating this guy. We broke up, and I eventually fell for Thing 1. We almost went out, and over the course of the next year were really close and almost going out. We still are. But, this winter, Thing 2 came a long and moved in to our school. While I still liked Thing 1, I also REALLY liked Thing 2. Me and thing […]
Sometimes I question if anyone is responsible for the way my life is..
Then I realize there is no one to blame but myself.
All I ever feel is ugly, and fat. I never was skinny. I hate it. I’ll never get a boyfriend. I hate everything about me, I just want to die. I’ve attempted it 6 times. No one cares. I want to try again and again until I finally get it.
i always write here when i feeling some type of way, and right now i do.
I hate the fact that i think about suicide 24/7. when i do something bad, when someone yells at me, when my parent argue, when i get bad grades, when i look at myself in the mirror, when im standing next to my best friend, when people are starring at me, anything. I really feel like im going to commit suicide on march 31st. Â I have a gut feeling i am, im just so really ready to die. im so ready for all of this to just stop, im not […]
i need him!
a guy i like asked my out, i said yes. thought it might help me move on. but all i do is hurt more. and i cant stop thinking about my ex. i need him more then anything right now! he’s on my mind 24/7 Â i can’t help it..
I MISS HIM A LOT!
-Morgan…RawrImaTurtle….
Everyone Thinks That I have It All,
But Its So Empty Living Behind These Castle Walls,
If I Should Tumble,
If I Should Fall,
Would Anyone Hearing Me Screaming Behind These Castle Walls,
There’s No One Here At All,
Behind These Castle Walls.
I live a very different life. This is my first time trying something like this, I’m not doing this with the intention that it’ll bring me pity or sympathy from others, Im doing this hoping that it’ll bring me some FORM of peace.
Im not like alot of people out there. I live a very different life. Luxuries people would never even dream of. […]
Everything humanity has achieved will one day be forgotten, that day might not come for billions of years but everything will end, everything will be destroyed… celebrities that some say will never be forgotten will be forgotten by time. What is it exactly that humanity has trying to achieve? because I would much rather be a caveman then live in the world we live in today.. fucked up is an understatement.
Even if I do commit suicide and ”hurt” my loved ones, the fact is that those ”loved ones” will eventually die too.. nothing lasts for ever… and I quite like that fact.
they say im in “la-la land.” i like it here, nobody’s mean to me. am i the happy girl everyone thinks i am? or is that just a shell that covers whats really there. do they think i dont care about not having friends? they could never be more wrong. if anyone knew i was really a depressed, suicidal, freak, than the rejection would be so much worse. i would love to kill myself and see if anyone noticed. even if they did, they wouldnt care. nobody cares. my whole life feels numb. i never really thought of myself as a cutter. i guess i […]
I’m…I don’t know what I am. Depressed? Bipolar? According to a medical diagnosis, probably not. I’ve read stories on here that speak of not being able to even get up in the morning, who can’t find the will to do anything. I, however, get up, I go to school, put on a smile, talk to people, act normal. Inside, I’m a complete mess. School is like my own personal hell. I really don’t have friends. I’m so alone and yet surrounded by people. I hate life. I want to die. God, how I just want to end this torture. There are some days I actually […]
I am a little bit ashamed i am here now. I am not thinking about suicide again, at least not so often. I just have this constant feeling of being down.
I am sometimes thinking i am not capable of feeling good or enjoying life. I have those episodes of euphoria when something incredible happens and when life surprises me spontaneously. But i feel they are terribly rare. I know i have no reason to be unhappy because i have so many things and new people around me and i even learned to be happy because of others. I also tried to talk about my problems […]
i feel like shit, it feels like i am only myself when i am like this: suicidal, depressed, angry , and what more. Its like i am half awake when i am ”acting” happy in front of others. i can’t really explain it, lately i have been thinking about something to cause me a lot of pain. i need hurt to feel alive, but i find myself doing nothing but praying for pain. i am weird , i really am, there is something wrong with me. i ”bully” myself a lot less when i am already in pain, and i also mean terrible situations. […]
I always think back to when I tried to kill myself last year, OD-ing, and now I really wish I did it. Here’s some reasons why.
1. My family would finally wake up and face reality that everything is NOT “alright”
2. I would be in a better place than alive and my friends wouldn’t care
3. I wouldn’t always have my suicidal thoughts or this “illness”
4. People would actually think about me
5. At least one person would remember me
After thinking about that, I think of other reasons to why I’m alive.
1. My family sometimes cares enough about me to actually remember me from time to time.
2. Â I […]