After hitting mailbox next door, things get worse. Med don’t seem to help… I just feel I am hopeless piece of shit over a mailbox… I really too cruel to myself…
Many of you are looking for reasons to keep on living.
I wanted to say that one morning, maybe weeks from now, month, or even years, you will wake up without doubting that you have a reason to.
I wanted to thank you all for all the job you are doing and all the stories that are being shared.
I always felt so alone because I never knew anyone else who is coping with struggles like mine.
I would never have survives without you. In my last post I wrote I’m quitting this site, and well, I’m kind of. But even then, I’m coming over sometimes to […]
https://www.google.com/amp/s/qz.com/1198671/depression-warning-signs-pay-attention-to-the-words-they-use/amp/
So I read this and thought it didn’t fit me at all, wonder if it lands with any if you
Backstory on me – I’ll keep it short but you may skip the below if u don’t care about my story
Depressed about 18 mo. Actively suicidal for about rbw middle half of that. Was a very active reader here and became kind of active for a little while and grew attachments to some. That was about a year ago and when I pop on since I recognize few names. That said, I’m a guy who welcomes the idea of death but it aint Comin From […]
I would be so grateful if anyone could comment something nice right now. I just need to hear some nice words. Please, I just need someone to say something nice to me.
I have no one to talk with about my problems, I have no one to help, no one who understands me. There are humans around me but what is the point if I can’t talk with them, no one is helping or understands. Maybe they can’t. I can’t solve my problems all by myself.
It’s over soon.
I keep telling myself, just one more day… It’ll all be over soon.
I don’t want it to hurt anybody… There are still too many bonds, but they will soon be gone. Soon I’ll be all alone in this world, free to end it without a single tear being wept. Free to get the peace I’ve desired for so long… It’s all over soon.
I feel like a horrible person, for wishing the people that love me will die from disease as soon as possible… It’s so very selfish of me. Of course I wish them all the best, but I need […]
It has been a while since I posted here, I like logging on here and getting the terrible things inside my head and on this blog. Yes, I am lost thank you for noticing. I relapsed with my cutting (go me.) and doing anything I can to escape these toxic thoughts. I have been doing somewhat better, I can cope better, I do not feel like the constant urge to kill myself is around all the time. I feel more positive, but my boyfriend weighs me down, my depression, the trauma, etc. all just stupid things I thought were stupid so I would not think […]
I like this place because only people i don’t know can judge me. And facebook is just a copy of a instagram. And nothing is worth looking at on there. Memes and news stories with the most f’d up titles.
To the point, might be moving here soon, the lease is up but were gonna renew it and break it when we can when find a cheaper place to live. Gonna lose the deposit regardless. Cops broke all the doors when a friend called 911 when i sent him a video of my wrist gashing blood. I regret it but honestly, i wish i finished the […]
How much time do you spend outside and how much inside a building?
two days ago, i attemped to take my life. If you remember, i made a post on it a few hours prior. so, heres how that day went and where i am now.
That day i had waken up around 9pm. By 10 i had my mind made up. I ate breakfast, watched TV for a little while. After a couple hours, i began to secure the rope (i had previously bought it) to my ceiling fan, then i tied a hangmans knot that would so just fine.
I chose a chair and placed it underneath, standing on it with the rope around my neck. My adrenaline […]
It’s been a minute since I posted something… I don’t even know where I stand right now, i’m confused and lost at this point here’s why………So for the last 8 months I as happy because I got into a relationship with someone who was special to me but about 4 days ago me nd his cousin was chilling and smoking then he kissed me nd it went from there but I had to tell my boyfriend so last night I told him nd today i’m sitting here next to him but we aren’t speaking nd i’m the cause of it.. Now im stuck between him […]
How tall are you?
I liked literature,poetry, and history since I was a little boy.Even though I never went to a college or a university,I continued to read-that kept me going for a long time.I came across Karyotakis’ poetry when I was young-oddly enough,they taught us his poems at school-and I was immediately hooked.Karyotakis is one of the most famous and the most important Greek poets.He wrote about alienation,depression,melancholy,anxiety,pessimism,and death,amongst other things.He committed suicide in 1928.I found on the internet some of his poems translated into English and I would like to post some of them here.If you like poetry,I suggest you should look out for his work,especially if […]
Hey. Not dead yet, don’t worry. I still think about dying often, but so far, they’ve remained thoughts.
Is that a good thing? Who knows? It’s supposed to be. I know it’s supposed to good, but it definitely doesn’t feel like it.
I’ve been questioning a lot of things lately.
When should I die? Will I ever? Am I going to do it myself? When should I get help? Should I try to get help? Is it worth it? Can I afford it? What do I do? When will I be happy?
I feel like I know what the answers to these questions are supposed to be, but I […]
I know deep down I’m a good person. Despite making the occasional bad decisions, I never try to never hurt anyone.
Tbe ugly is that my suicide will hurt the people I love most. Destroy.
I hope I’m making the right choice by going through it despite that.
My fear is by sticking around I’ll hurt people even more. As I deteriorate below what is considered a functional adult. My loved ones will only pity me as time progress. Their pity turns to animosity if they decide to care for me financially. And animosity turns ugly as life goes on.
I don’t want to be a burden.
Better that I die […]
am i selfish? if im selfish why should i care for their feeling? why should i hide all my pain inside? why should i smile for them? and why i cant say no to them? tell me!! am i selfish if just for today i want to be free..
I’ve decided to buy a shotgun and finish it tomorrow. I’m 34 almost 35 and unemployed. I’m lazy. And I’m happy to finally die. Love you guys. I’ve been a long time lurker for years.
I live in a state where it’s easy and legal. I researched the correct ammo to purchase. I have the money to buy it. I have a clean record to get it. I have been thinking about this decision for years, but made the plans weeks ago. I said goodbye (without them knowing) to everyone I care for. I haven’t told a soul this is my plan. And now I’m going […]
Make it bleed
Make it drip
Everything’s fine
Hypocrite
Hide it well
Lie to them
Don’t let the scars tell
Let them bleed unseen