Can I have a normal relationship with people anymore? A large part of me still wants to shut everyone out. But a human cannot live with no companionship. Or at least live sanely with no one to talk to or be with. And I have so much pent up anger for people…
Lyrics (English translation):
Chatterton committed suicide
Hannibal committed suicide
Demosthenes committed suicide
Nietzsche
Raving mad
As for me…
As for me
It’s not going much better
Chatterton committed suicide
Cleopatra committed suicide
Isocrates committed suicide
Goya
Raving mad
As for me…
As for me
It’s not going much better
Chatterton committed suicide
Marc Antony committed suicide
Van Gogh committed suicide
Schumann
Raving mad
As for me…
As for me
It’s not going much better
I dreamed of working in Kyoto Animation. Right now I’m watching their newest work which is Violet Evergarden. I’m so in love with how the animation looks like. I hope I can prevent myself from becoming a neet because of myself
I’m so tired of it all. The emotions. The pain. The tears. But I think i have gotten to the point where I can cry anymore. I have the feeling to cry but I can’t. No tears come out. It was nice for a moment knowing that I can’t cry. No more crying my self to sleep. But by crying it helped relieve some of the feelings and frustration of the world. It’s raining all the tears I can’t cry.
But I just recently found this web page. And for a hot minute it felt kinda nice knowing that there is web pages like this […]
It’s so easy to doubt yourself when you’ve been ina good place for a while. It’s so easy to have the simplest thing change something and to take it as “you’re doing a shitty job” and just fall back down. My manager switched around my shifts at work and for some reason it’s making regret literally everything I’ve ever said at work and make me think that I’m doing an incredibly shitty job at work and I don’t deserve to work there. Like I just want everything to stay the same. If I initiate change I can handle it. But the smallest change initiated by […]
My parents were actually on their very best behaviour the past few days. They were actually trying to be good to me for once (I refused to see them for the last 8 years or so). But I was sad, depressed and angry at my sister. So I sulked and isolated myself in my room. Wasn’t so much avoiding them as avoiding the whole world.
Anyway, I didn’t come out today (nor yesterday or the day before). I almost came out this morning but was tired so decided not to. They thought I was avoiding them. Well, this morning […]
My housemates are together and I’m down stairs alone again crying myself to sleep, willing the day to end.
This post is what SP means with family effect and suicide related. This isn’t a happy ending nor a crisis, but beware of triggers.
When I was a young boy, I remember my mother going up the stairs, half dead, she was barely walking, her new bf helped her. She was getting treated with chemotherapy and other cancer related drugs. She was dying, it was an intensive fight. She was alone, and my father divorced her. Her family was so abusive and ugly that they didn’t even help. I was about five and didn’t understand why my mom is falling to the ground. I saw her […]
I feel so useless. I have no purpose. Not sure how much longer I can last.
without any warning, I just came across an archive of your old videos.
I sat here in shock for several minutes. I am afraid to click play. I am afraid to hear your voice again and watch you laugh again for the first time in almost two years. These are videos I have seen before but had since forgotten about them. I was having a relatively good day before the thumbnails of you babysitting your niece, you playing video games, and you with your friends at work appeared on my computer screen. I was doing a reading for school and you crossed my mind, as you […]
Woke up some time after 4pm again for the millionth time in a row when I could have been productive today. I know over sleeping makes your body feel worse but I just can’t will myself out of bed until I absolutely have to. Because of this, I eat one meal a day at most (the term meal used loosely).
Thinking about a commenters words of finding a calm place. I’m not really sure I have one. Sometimes sleep can be freeing, but tbh I am often plagued by reoccurring nightmares of traumatic experiences and will cry in my sleep. I never really feel well rested […]
I have been feeling overwhelmed with how my depression will just show up out of nowhere. Major depression with reoccurring episodes. I can only about half of the time see when an episode is coming, the closer together my panic attacks are etc. I can only cope so well with this. I lately have been feeling like I have not need my anti depressants and whatever trauma I was going through I was prepared to feel it. I know feel my suicidial thoughts come and go and they are short and intense. My sadness is ongoing but those urges or feeling to cut again last […]
Tired of this boring life . I wish I had an amazing, interesting, thrilling, adventurous life
Wonder if there are other site like this but for anxiety?
My anxiety basically draining me daily… I am tired of live in fear. Sometimes I even wonder if depression is not so bad.
I am in the place where I always wanted to be, Japan, but at the same time, I still struggle from time to time with my feelings.
Sometimes I still consoddr offing myself and I just do not want to deal with the frustrations of life.
But I try to just enjoy myself here.
Some lyrics: “Death ain’t nothing but a heart beat away, I’m living life do or die, uh what can I say, I’m 23 now but will I live to see 24, the way things are going I don’t know”
You are stupid, not brain-dead
you are lazy, but not useless
your love life sucks, but there is still music
you want to suicide, but you have only lived 1/5 of your life
you are insignificant, but people still talk to you
you want to cry, but cant let it out
you’ve seen all these, but nothing changes
welcome to my life
What annoys you the most at you and at other people or at any other things?
Apathy helps me in life.
Sometimes it keeps me safe from myself