One of the most sad things in my opinion is that since the quality of life improved drastically with industrial revolution the suicide rate just skyrocketed. Its almost like humans were made just to suffer and if not enough suffering is coming from the outside world your own brain just creates some…
PatheticMale
Everyday it is getting worse… IDK how much more can I take..
Im posting here pretty much everyday now – its the only thing that gives me relief along with listening to suicidal underground rap music. I know I need to be here for my mom and my sisters but its so hard. Why is life so fking hard? Its not hard for me in the outside world but in my mind I feel like Im going crazy. I dont even enjoy anything, I have no goals or plans for the future, everything seems meaningless. Every minute I just suffer. I at least used to enjoy smoking weed and playing video games but now I dont anymore.
I […]
It´s a shame it doesn´t have any accurate translation to my native language. What an extremely powerful, complex word with such profound meaning, so complete on itself. . Language can be so beautiful. A 500 pages book couldn´t describe me and my life better than this one single word.
Exactly 19 years ago this pathetic existence came to life… Damn some people my age are having kids and shit and I´m still insecure virgin sitting home playing video games. I dont think I am ever gonna be good enough for anyone.. I am exactly the same as I was when I was 12 except I have lost the potential to achieve something and also I do drugs now.
I am home alone today, the anniversary of my birth is the last thing i wanna celebrate.. I am going to go out on friday and combine excessive amounts of alcohol and cocaine so I guess you could […]
Do you think that living alone (no intimate relationship) for the whole life is possible? Or will it drive you crazy eventually?
So I just watched a documentary about a current poly addict. The dude seems like he has a kind soul but the horrible circumstances in his life just destroyed him like he was abused by his parents and shit… The video ended with him telling a story. I normally hate these cheesy inspirational things but this one really resonated with me I guess. It went like this: Two fathers are with their daughters in the park and one of the girls just keeps falling over and over. So one father asks: “Who is this girl that is falling constantly?” And the other one tells him: […]
I can´t find anyone to love because I´m depressed and have low self esteem. I am depressed because I can´t find anyone. I feel like I don´t deserve it.
It´s like a closed never ending cycle. I don´t know what to do.
My father must be a psychopath/sociopath. He is so fking weird. He just doesnt act or think like a normal human being. He still lives with his mother in his 50s and he is just slowly driving her crazy… I cant even imagine how hard it must be to live in the same flat with him. He is just living in his own reality, he is never wrong in his mind, everyone is not good enaugh for him. I think he is the main reason of my low self esteem. He used to beat me up when I was a child and now he still […]
Hey guys, I was wondering whats ur attitude towards/experience with drugs. Are you “selfmedicating” with something currently? Did some substances help you with deprssion or whatever? Do you have some habbits that you´d like to quit? Or past addictions that made ur life terrible? Or perhaps some “funny” trip stories? Let me know, Im interested 😀
Weed is my drug of choice. I guess you could say that Im addicted to it. I smoke every day after school (alot). I can take a week off and I dont get almost any “withdrawls”. Just some cravings for the first two days but nothing that would get unmanagable. […]
I wish I had that… Since I was like 15 I was always telling myself that I will get myself a girlfriend by the end of this year. I never did.. Im just too shy to express my interest in someone, to just ask them out or to do anything. I was on a date once and it was a disaster. Just an hour of awkward scilence. I wasnt able to make a move (like hold her hand or smth) even tho I could clearly see she was into me. Nothing seems to boost my confidence, like for example when I was 16 I thought […]
Today was the worst that I ´ve had in a while. Nothing unusual happend just my emotional state was even worse than usually. I just watched these people being happy, being normal. When I was waiting for the tram I had this immense urge to just jump under it as it was aproaching. To just end it all right here right now without thinking it through. I think this kinda impulsive way is how a lot of people take their life, coz like me they feel too guilty to act on their thoughts, think through some plan and do it “correctly”. Im afraid that the […]
God I hate school so much. Its the worst thing in my life byfar. I always think about killing myself in school, or I think about posts that I will post here. Most of the time I feel like Im about to start crying hysterically but the tears never come so I just stare into nothningness with my eyes so empty that my face expression is scary. I hate teachers. They are so fking arrogant, they know they can do anything to me, they can bully me and I just have to accept it coz I need to pass. They enjoy demonstrating their absolute dominance […]
Cannabis is my only friend and lover. I would be dead if I didnt have THC. God bless the devil´s lettuce.
I ve noticed that girls developed a special ability through evolution to sniff out male losers very effectively (probably coz male loser is one of the most dangerous things for a woman like rapists etc.) I guess they do it unconsiously through pheromones and insecure body language. Guys can recognize losers too but it takes much more time and getting to know that person. With girls it just takes one look in the eyes and she knows Im a loser, she knows Im a virgin, she knows I hate myself, she knows my life is boring and I have nothing to offer.
The story of how I came to this world is as tragic as my life itself. When my parrents met my father was a 30 year old weird sociopath, loser virgin when he met my mother who at the time was 20 year old university student with depression and very low self asteem so she thought noone else would ever want her. They got together, condom broke and 9 months later even greater loser was born. A year later my parrents split up.
Im just the same as my father exept he manages to love himself despite still living with his mom in his fiftys, and […]
I´m ashamed to continue to post on this site when I read all these tragic stories of people being abused, raped, suffering with mental illness etc. My problems are just not even comparable to that kinda shit. My life has been the easiest shit ever sofar. Maybe beacause I lack the ambition to make it harder for myself. I never had to learn or even attend school very much to get the same grades as very ambicious but dumb people in my class. But It´s different because they are trying and I´m not. Their grades are their success that they had to work on and […]
Whats the point of describing my feelings when this can just do it for me…
Fermi paradox – Our galaxy contains millions of stars and planets, many of which were formed millions of years before Earth and yet we can´t observe any super-inteligent alien civilizations.
So one day I was watching an interview with astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson and he said something like this: We humans differ in about 1% of DNA from chimps. In that one % there is everything that makes us human. Society, culture, inventions, art etc.. Now imagine aliens that are another 1% smarter than us. What amazing things would they be capable of?
As soon as I heard that a disturbing thought came to my mind. Would these […]
I feel very guilty to post this here but I´m probably goint to kill myself one day if I grow some balls to do it and I belive that every human being shoud have a right to leave this world without unecessary pain. I noticed so many people choosing to die in such painful ways it makes me ask why? When a 10 year old could order a lethal dose of heroin or some other opioid from darkweb. You just shoot urself up, your body gets so relaxed your heart just stops beating. What a peaceful way to go. Like for example I ve red […]