Category:

Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

3AO1 (upside down)

by RogueShadow1281 8/22/2011

written by RogueShadow1281

I drown myself in my own self pity. All I want to do now is be with a girl, hold her tightly, kiss her, anything as long as I show deep appreciation and sincerity towards her. Of course, this is just my desperation for happiness that I believe I deeply deserve, but I don’t actually deserve anything. It’s not my mind that I’m telling myself I need a girlfriend. I might be having hormones or maybe anxiety or lust. I don’t know, but I have cold chills at the thought of school starting in less than one day… I thought I had at least 4 […]

8/22/2011 4 comments

hidden by fake smiles

by kilva 8/22/2011

written by kilva

hi, IÂ reallyÂ dont know what to put, err how to word it is moreÂ correct. I am not a big talker on my problems n of what my reactions are to them but I saw this page off of a website i just read n well i thought id give it a try.Â You can say i am suicidal, and you can say i am not. Â i will say i really dont know myself Â if Â i am.

My life has beenÂ basically faked to most of the world, good dad, sweet mom, nice olderÂ brother, happy go lucky daughter. the usual type of “family” as you can say.

Well what people dont […]

8/22/2011 1 comment

Yup, depressed again…

by RogueShadow1281 8/21/2011

written by RogueShadow1281

Either I’m depressed again. Or I just hate when people take away my mic for ps3 because I spoke loudly or the firt time the whole day and she flipped out. Now I feel depressed again. I feel happy that it’s back, in a way. Probably because I believe my old habits make me at ease. Or that’s how I interpret it. I allow myself, with my 16 year old and oxygen deprived mind, to believe that is why… My uncle came home with bloody hands (I of course am not British, I am Mexican and not proud of it) because he got in a […]

8/21/2011 2 comments

Do I sound familiar

by withoutAtrace00 8/20/2011

written by withoutAtrace00

I was supposed to be a winner but alas my life is lame. I don’t know who to blame, I used to be a courageous young girl, but I guess life happens and I got too afraid to try out new things after waiting a long time for my turn. I am watching America’s best Dance Crew right now and noticed that these dancers are so full of life, the blood in their veins pumping with life, that’s why even if I am not talented at dancing I would like to learn. They have got this attitude of no fear, they have this swagger, no […]

8/20/2011 3 comments

I am an outsider, and I don’t like what I see.

by lethargic 8/18/2011

written by lethargic

Right, I will just say why and how I am planning to kill myself. Simple…right?

The why:

Have felt like a zombie all my life. I have always felt like I am braindead for as long as I can remember, my concentration is nil, fatigue and sleepiness ALL the time. A pretty nice and simple way that my counsellor put it was as beng “detatched from reality”. I am now 20 years old, and I still have no idea who I am, I look at myself on the mirror 50 times a day, not because I am in love with myself, but to remind myself of who […]

8/18/2011 7 comments

Behind Blue Eyes

by Diamondonalandmine 8/17/2011

written by Diamondonalandmine

I feel so odd at the moment.

My ex has been talking to me somewhat lately, he was talking to me more than usual a couple weeks before but now he’s just scaring me.

He went to bluesfest with some friends and two of the friends who were with him (also very good friend of mine we’ll call them Sally and Tom and my ex Matt) and some random person randomly bumped into Matt.

Tom and Sally both told me at different times but had the same story and others agreed with them, that Matt turned around and punched this kid and knocked him out cold.

Matt and I […]

8/17/2011 1 comment

I Was Nothing

by Chelsii 8/16/2011

written by Chelsii

I thought I was nothing once…
It seemed I was a small, insignificant part of the world, and when I died everything would keep moving forward as if I didn’t ever existed in the first place. My hopelessness… my struggles… they were all too much for me. I was ready to die, not knowing what was on the other side, but hoping it was better than the hell I was living.

I was two years old when my parents divorced. I was the daughter of a 24 year old Sunday School Teacher and a beautiful 18 year old High School Graduate, but others in our community […]

8/16/2011 18 comments

She’s gone

by marichicm 8/16/2011

written by marichicm

My best friend of 27 years took her life on August 4th 2011.Â She used this Helium method, and well she finally accomplished what she wanted to do for the past 15 years.Â Please if you are contemplating suicide, please for your sake and your family and friends get the help that you need.Â You may think you are doing everyone a favor but in all actually you are only making things worse for the people who love and care for you.

My friend Angela was beautiful and smart and so funny a wonderful personality, but she had one flaw, she had a depression problem which […]

8/16/2011 9 comments

Headaches are back

by RogueShadow1281 8/14/2011

written by RogueShadow1281

i choked and the headaches and sensitivity at night to sound are back but at least I’m helping someone learn how to suicide properly. I’m a 16 yearold boy with a brain filled with information “Not for the weak or faint-hearted” like the ranger handbook I got that is close to worthless but still okay. I know more than him about the cartoids even though I don’t know if it’s an artery or what, probably, but I do know from common sense that if you block it you knock out and I do that on a nearly daily basis. I went a good 3 weeks […]

8/14/2011 26 comments

A bad week.

by ThatPsychoBitch 8/13/2011

written by ThatPsychoBitch

Too much fighting, yelling, crying…

Greed, death, loss…

I’m sick of everything.

I’m close to losing it…

My fiancee finally got his personal injury settlement… Which was less than half of what was anticipated…

My father was pissed because he wanted more than 800$ but we couldn’t give him 1500$ unless he wanted us to be broke…

He basically called my fiancee useless, and that he wasn’t his kid evenÂ thoughÂ 2 months ago he said he was like one to him,

we ended up giving him 2300$ out of the 400$ in the end… I officially hate my father and want to gtfo the second I get my fucking GED.

My fianceeÂ threatenedÂ to leave me […]

8/13/2011 2 comments

I feel even more horrible but!

by Shiki 8/12/2011

written by Shiki

I know I shouldn’t be. My sister is finally home from the navy and yet I still feel depressed. I had a horrible dream that she left and I cried histerically. I wonder if that is a sign that when she really does leave I might finally rest in peace. I don’t know. Maybe I will succeed? I don’t know but I wish this horrible sadness will end soon. I know for sure my family hates me. Or just truly dislikes me a lot. I dont feel one ounce of love from them though my grandmother constantly tells me she does. Maybe I am just […]

8/12/2011 4 comments

I’m thinking of a title… My life is just beginning? Naw idk

by RogueShadow1281 8/10/2011

written by RogueShadow1281

Today, I woke up from a dream that I had an older brother that I could look up to, he was thought to be cool and all that. In the dream, I thought of how much of a disappointment I would be to him. First time in my life I, or my dreams, thought how pitiful and disappointing I am by actually addressing it. I felt sad about it, and woke up afterwards disoriented and sad. It’s 2 am again and Ive decided to post again. My uncle was making fun saying how in that dream did that older brother rape me or do stuff […]

8/10/2011 3 comments

defective?

by ashtreylil 8/9/2011

written by ashtreylil

I’ve went through my whole life feeling like I was different from everyone else. I knew I was smarter than the grades I got through every grade of school. When I went to college I failed out in two semesters. I just have nomotivation to do anything and it seems like it gets worse as time goes on. I can’t find a job because I have criminal history, so I’m leaching off of my dad. The fact that no one else my age is in the position I am makes me feel like I’m lagging behind, destined to fail. Most of the time I […]

8/9/2011 3 comments

just dont know anymore

by aroxx 8/8/2011

written by aroxx

well im 16 but ive been through a lifetime of hardship and heartache i mean ive been down and out for yars and writng or typing it out helps and ive never had anyone to are to see if that would help i men i truely have wanted to commit suicide and yes ive cut myself and tried pill but i just cant do it because of my fiance i think she cares but she just dousnot understand what ive been through well to start off my dad was a heavy alcoholic and he had an accident when i wa sin 5th grade and then […]

8/8/2011 1 comment

Confused…. As usual

by RogueShadow1281 8/7/2011

written by RogueShadow1281

my depression, like the scar on my forehead. It is stuck with me. It will never go away. Except my depression comes and goes as it pleases, makes eme sad and angry occasionally and normal and content other days. Never truly happy though, but I’m better than my major depression a few months ago. I’ve choked so much, my past is new to me. Reality and dreams are hard to comprehend and I can’t figure which is which. Music from Matisyahu reminds me of Nycolle. My brain is completely set on the idea that I have no reason to live. My morals and values are […]

8/7/2011 3 comments

.

by indifference 8/7/2011

written by indifference

I hate to use the phrase “fair weathered friend” it sounds like primary school, but I have no other way to describe you.

You ignore our texts, you ignore us, now that something better has come along.

Do you feel better than us now that you have a boyfriend? Do you feel prettier than us? More important than us?

Truth is, you’re not. You’re not even close. Do you think abandoning the people who got you here makes you more popular?

We’re laughing at you, when you two break up don’t you dare think we’ll still be here for you! Time is running slim, slimmer than ever, you have […]

8/7/2011 3 comments

Anti-Suicide Note

by sylviaplath 8/3/2011

written by sylviaplath

When I look at you, I don’t know what’s happening. We met once before. We met twice before. I was your mother when the Joss smell perfumed the funeral parlor on the second floor. That was the first. I can’t speak. I feel too much. When I say that I tap deep, deep into the well that runs straight down my veins. The uttered word, just -eel, electric, taps those wells. A true deepwater horizon.

And then there was you. We met in the ward. I introduced my cousin, A, when we were just kids, to that life, the bathroom mirrors you’d known so long.

Two weeks, […]

8/3/2011 3 comments

My Immortal

by Diamondonalandmine 7/31/2011

written by Diamondonalandmine

I am freaking out right now.

My boyfriend hasn’t messaged me, and it’s been about an hour, I know that it may be a short period of time but he usually answer’s right away.

He has HCM (Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy) Which is pretty much the following:

“HCM is a form of heart muscle disease in which the muscular walls of the ventricles (lower chambers of the heart) become abnormally thickened.

The thickening of the heart muscle causes the muscle itself to function abnormally. The thickening also can cause the ventricles to become distorted, which can interfere with the function of the aortic valve and the mitral valve, which regulate blood […]

7/31/2011 6 comments

Idk what a good title for this would be… World’s Greatest Dad (movie)

by RogueShadow1281 7/30/2011

written by RogueShadow1281

I hear the heartbeat in my ears and neck. I haven’t choked in a while. Its hard to breathe (but I could be just thinking I am). I’m watching World’s Greatest Dad about a guy who has a hard time with his son. His son calls everything a fag as in gay or bad. His son is really into auto-erotic asphyxiation and he got caught doing it. The sad part, the dad sees him dead because he choked for 2 long. He decides to make it look like a suicide, with a not and him hanging from his closet. Probably to hide the shame that […]

7/30/2011 0 comment

Spherical Fat Fellow

by sylviaplath 7/28/2011

written by sylviaplath

Idle fingers wormed into my aunt’s harem, fondling

bashful bottles, creams, blisterpacks. Sharps of

insulin and statins-flova,pita, prava, for gluttony

and wrath, indulgence for indulgence. Substituted

lust, better than sex. Pride in finding God’s loop

-hole, pharmacornucopia, spilling candies white

to kill greed and fool envy. Greyscale for the mind.

My new family, surname Pam. Daddy Diaze Pam,

my sisters Clonny, Lorry, and old poxy grandpapa

Chlordiazepoxiede. Drip, drip, burn,

bitter backflow. Novice, diazepam has 100%

oral bioavailability. New Years night, weightless

and opiate warm, I fixed grim odds online

How I know I’m fucked

Cigarettes:
Bottom of my food pyramid

Family History:
Swiss cheese kidneys and crusty coronary arteries all around

Ethnicity:
our worst enemies

Diet/Exercise:
Newports, cows, rice(death)/Varsity Mathlete

Blood Pressure:
Paranoid extrapolation=200 mmHG by age […]

7/28/2011 4 comments

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