Category:

Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

what it feels like

by claryland 9/6/2017

written by claryland

i almost hate everything. and i’m most dissatisfied with all things.

but i had some frozen yogurt today with my two friends and it was the first day of school. i dislike being so young and feeling this way—everyone says you shouldn’t have to feel this way at such a young age?

but i realized after i sat down with the two of them and was looking forward to enjoy a small bowl of frozen yogurt, i had immediately thought that i’d rather be in my bed listening to some vast silence that i’ve come to love.

everyone was so nice and so kind and so was i. […]

9/6/2017 1 comment

I drove my husband to suicide.

by lonely87 9/4/2017

written by lonely87

For those of you thinking about it, or those of you who have ‘survived’ it either as an attempter or someone close to them, here’s my story.

I’m 30, and my husband D was 31. We were together for 11 years and married for 9 of those, with two young daughters aged 7 and 2.

I won’t lie, the first 2-3 years we put each other through hell – I would obsess and interrogate him over silly things, go on and on at him, we argued a lot, he would lash out/snap and be violent. He was immature – I remember during one argument in the car […]

9/4/2017 34 comments

No support from family

by Lorandian 8/31/2017

written by Lorandian

So, I posted on here awhile back about how I was finding a neutral state to live in…not happy, but not depressed. Well since then I have started therapy and things have gotten worse. Actually it’s not that they got worse, just that I began to realize how shit I was being treated by my family. That my parents are actually alcoholics, both them and my brother use me for money, that my sister is a carbon copy of my mother, and that they only want me around so they have someone to control. These weren’t my extrapolations, they were my therapists…at first I just […]

8/31/2017 4 comments

Pathetic Person w/ Pathetic Reasoning

by AllBarkNoBite 8/28/2017

written by AllBarkNoBite

At the very least, I hope this scatter-brained post will give you a laugh. Just kidding, I don’t hope for anything, save for what I mention in the following. Well, maybe some sections of this post will resonate with anyone who might read it some day.

Once I become financially stable and relatively successful, I might want to kill myself in complete sobriety so that I can prove this point to my dad: Not all suicides are a result of drug-ingestion or addiction. I’ve always wanted to die since I was a child. I even told my mom that “I want to go to Heaven already,” […]

8/28/2017 2 comments

Can you relate?

by SvanaOfRiften 8/26/2017

written by SvanaOfRiften

I’m not sure if I would rather cease to live or run away. I was fantasizing how I’d like to leave and make it look like I just disappeared. Set my coffee like it was set to brew, leave my purse where it hangs, and only take shoes from the back of my closet and go. I don’t know what would be worse for my family to think. I killed myself or disappeared. I’m the epitome of selfish, but I hate my life. I resent my husband, whom I divorced and remarried. I hate that I’m lonely and being a stay at home mom puts […]

8/26/2017 7 comments

My Note…. Suggestions?

by philly1962 8/24/2017

written by philly1962

Here is my note, purposefully vague or else it would be a novel.

This is not a suicide note. This is simply my documentation that I purposefully and willfully decided to put a permanent end to my physical and emotional pain.

I weighed all my options carefully, choosing the one that would ultimately be beneficial to all involved. I must admit I went so far as to insure that everyone was angry at me to make it that much easier.

My girls are grown independent women that no longer need the likes of a clingy father in their lives. Therefore, without me around,they will be able to enjoy […]

8/24/2017 16 comments

They are back.

by Eccedentesiastsoul 8/23/2017

written by Eccedentesiastsoul

Lately I’ve ben having these migraines that take everything that’s in me to stand. It’s not new, I used to have them daily until they somehow, the same pain transferred to my stomach. I got it checked out by a doctor long back and he gave me pills and said I was fine to go. Now the pain is back and it’s stronger than ever. I’m not being over dramatic or anything but it hurts to the point where I actually think there’s something wrong with me. Before I got back to my country I got a strong one and I literally cried myself to […]

8/23/2017 1 comment

The reason for me to live, is so others may not die

by KoertsMeijer1997 8/23/2017

written by KoertsMeijer1997

I honestly am not sure where to start this all off. This is a very long story, just to let you know. For starters, I am a 20yo male. I’ve dealt with severe clinical depression, anxiety, and anger issues since I was 11yo.

I am a current EMT and am a Paramedic student in Maryland. I joined the fire department when I was 17, and have been an EMT since I was 18.

One of my first calls as a 17yo EMT student, it had been a pretty tough day. We had already run a cardiac arrest, and I was in general having one of my down […]

8/23/2017 5 comments

Back home.

by Eccedentesiastsoul 8/21/2017

written by Eccedentesiastsoul

Things are back to getting worse. I don’t know if I can proceed anymore, go threw all the upcoming months, get a year older, it’s just too much. I still have to finish high school and I don’t know how to feel about that. I want to escape. Get as far away as I can from this country but in order to do so I’ll have to get a scholarship and because of my background I don’t think I’ll be able to get one. Even if I do get one, I won’t be accepted for who I am, or at least I don’t think I […]

8/21/2017 3 comments

My life now

by usedcanvas 8/20/2017

written by usedcanvas

My life is a mess riht now. So about a month ago i broke up with my boyfriend that I was with for a year and a half. I finally realized how mean he was. He never put much interest into me and he never wanted to help me. For example, I felt it was neccessary to tell him about the time I was raped as a child because I was having a lot of nightmares about it and I was shutting down from it. But, when I told him he got mad at me. He said why would I think that he was equipted […]

8/20/2017 3 comments

Alone

by TotalEclipseOfMyLife 8/19/2017

written by TotalEclipseOfMyLife

Right now I’m sitting alone at a table away from a group of families. I’m the only single mom in this group of 30 families. 5 months ago I told the man I loved I couldn’t take any more and we broke up. He’s still the only one that I want, but he never wanted me. I don’t know why he kept me around for 3 years when he was cheating in one way or another the entire time. And when he wasn’t cheating he was mean. He withheld affection, he constantly questioned everything I did, and screamed about everything.

Why would I be in love […]

8/19/2017 5 comments

Tired.

by Eccedentesiastsoul 8/19/2017

written by Eccedentesiastsoul

I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s like there is more than one soul in me. I have to make a choice, either be too kind and suffer the consequences or be heartless and later come crashing down. I could also just stay the way I am right now but the thing is I don’t feel fine. I could never stay like this. Ignoring the way I feel is killing me. I’m just tired and sick of this life. I feel so selfish, I have everything I need to be able to survive yet I’m still depressed. I just can’t go back. Summer is […]

8/19/2017 2 comments

I am a disappointment

by haterlivet 8/18/2017

written by haterlivet

One thing i´ve always thought of is that it´s so scary when someone mentally ill and suicidal (me) falls in love. We start feeling whole again. Like we´ve got a purpose, a reason to be here and a reason to start and try.

But one thing that really scares me and hurts me inside to think of is that; what happens when the person who´s saved me leaves? What happens when the person takes away all the hope and love and beauty and rip out all the stitches they used to put in their partner together again and the broken soul is left worse than they […]

8/18/2017 4 comments

Suicide without hurting others

by haterlivet 8/18/2017

written by haterlivet

I want to end my life, But i want to end it in a way that doesnt hurt the people around me. I’ve come to learn that this life really aint for me, i tried for so many years to stay strong and fight the pain Im feeling, But its absolutely impossible and Nobody really understands the mental illness Im going through. I dont really like to talk about my depression to a lot of people, Cause they think that Im calling for attention or that its no big of a deal. But i really wish They knew What Im going through

My biggest problem is […]

8/18/2017 5 comments

start them young

by hollowchest 8/17/2017

written by hollowchest

Hi. I just wanted to get my thoughts off and just rant. Anyone else think the house is just a prison? Your parents just owners? Granted that depends on who you have as parents, so it begs the question, if they aren’t doing their job properly in raising a child, why even have one? Like why have children only to condemn them and never support or encourage them? I’m not asking much, there’s certain responsibilities they obviously need to fulfill due to the child’s inability to look after themselves, such as picking them up from school when they’re young. Other than that, anything negative that […]

8/17/2017 5 comments

When the scales are tipping

by ibelieveinunicorns 8/16/2017

written by ibelieveinunicorns

I have suffered from depression since I was 10 years old. I’m almost 26 years old and all I can think about it how exhausting it is. Today is a hard day for me. I have done nothing but sit and think of how badly I want “lights out” It’s an overwhelming feeling to have to make your body live. There are so few things that are keeping my feet planted on the earth these days. I have 3 children, all of which are under 8 years old, and i am struggling hard to not justify my desires. I’ve thought about what I would say […]

8/16/2017 7 comments

Angry Insensitive Rant plus updates

by velveteennightingale 8/15/2017

written by velveteennightingale

I know I’m a horrible person for saying this, but someone I know said they were experiencing “depression” from a medicine: “I had no motivation for the last months.” No. depression is: not having the motivation to get up each and every day, no motivation to eat/shower/live, days spent in bed, every night crying yourself to sleep, 50 cuts a leg to feel better, thinking about suicide every single fucking day. But everybody cares about her problems more than mine. I told my dad I sometimes have bad headaches where I have to lie in the dark and not do anything and he’s just like […]

8/15/2017 0 comment

to: mommy

by mynameisnight 8/13/2017

written by mynameisnight

why can’t you love me, mom? aren’t i your child too? or do you hate me that much?

honestly speaking, i envy my brother.. for you’re always being so nice and kind to him. you’re so obviously prioritize him, always give everything that he wants. you even sacrificed my happiness just to fulfill all his demands.
just like him.. me too, wants to be loved, wants to be happy.
was that too much to ask, mom?

all the other girls can be best friend with their mother. they can tell everything to their mommy and have their mom’s support on everything.
i can’t relate to that. no, […]

8/13/2017 0 comment

I’m sorry.

by Eccedentesiastsoul 8/13/2017

written by Eccedentesiastsoul

I’ve been fighting for so long and its time I surrender. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the perfect daughter. I’m sorry I wasn’t born a boy. I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment and I couldn’t be who you wanted me to be. I’m sorry i couldn’t open up about it. I’m sorry I was too weak to ask for help, I thought I would get over it like all my problems, just like you said. I didn’t want to cause more drama since you said I should “get over it and stop being a drama queen”. I’m sorry I wasn’t friends with who you wanted […]

8/13/2017 5 comments

It doesn’t get better, just different.

by Piratemermaid 8/10/2017

written by Piratemermaid

I could say some bullshit about all the things that caused me to be depressed, but they won’t actually be what caused me to be like this. A lot of people have gone through my situation and been just fine, in fact my situation is probably really easy. I take full responsibility for being the way I am. I’m just not strong enough, not resilient. Maybe too gullible.

My parents divorced when I was five, it would have been worse if they had stayed together. Dad was an alcoholic and Mom was taking care of him more than she needed to be. There was that small […]

8/10/2017 4 comments

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