Category:

Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

I really want to die

by Demonqueen 7/8/2017

written by Demonqueen

… But I’m scared of failure.
Will I be paralysed?
Brain damaged?

Fail and I’ll be watched and not able to reattempt.

………………..

Vent.

I have mental health, undiagnosed… But imo it is severe.

Vent.

I’m almost 26. Literally everybody I’ve met this year thought I was 12.
When I was 15…. Everybody thought I was 10-12.
You get the picture.
I’m paedo bait.
Not everyday you get to legally “bang” a “12” year old.

Lost count of the times middle aged men have tried to prostitute me and continue on to tell me they thought i was 12-14.

Walking home today with my mum and her partner and […]

7/8/2017 2 comments

Mum Dad are you wondering Why did she kill herself?

by beautifulmonster 7/8/2017

written by beautifulmonster

I’m her mum I loved her more than anyone

so where were you when you I had been raped as a kid? Why didn’t you be the mum and help me ? Why did I have to lie and hide to protect your feelings? I was the kid. I was the one mean to be crying. Instead you cried and lost your shit so i protected you. I just needed someone to help me, why did you have to be weak?

Why are you so depressed ? Why were you so sad all those years? What why? Your a mother your meant to be strong. You brought […]

7/8/2017 4 comments

My Parents Should Have Never Met suicidal urges are getting stronger

by BlueDiamond 7/6/2017

written by BlueDiamond

Seriously, they hate each other so much that they can’t stand being in the same room together. Me and I know my brother is screwed up from witnessing this bad marriage. They both always put us down. It was always about them showing how they could get us to behave or negging us until they got what they wanted. Control Control Control

My dad is so into himself, and deep down inside I resent my mom. She created this co-dependent relationship. I’m forced to love her because if I don’t then I’m a bad person. Maybe I don’t hate her as person, but she sucks as […]

7/6/2017 18 comments

am 11:11

by mynameisnight 7/5/2017

written by mynameisnight

“you’re ugly. and fat. and disgusting. like the shit of a pig. and no one is gonna love you.
how so silly. why do you think somebody will loves someone as ugly as you, when even your very own mother does not?
you’re such a waste of space and time. you should’ve died when your mother tried to aborted you 26 years ago. why do you have to be born? why do you have to life? you don’t deserve happiness. you don’t deserve to be loved. you’re that one child that was not supposed to have been born. you’re a huge mistake. unwanted, even by […]

7/5/2017 3 comments

Lost Hope

by bunniekiss17 7/2/2017

written by bunniekiss17

I’ve lost hope in my life ever turning around again. My mother has been abusive to me for years now and no one ever listens. I’ve been trying to get out of the house for years now. I’ve talked to social workers many times. It never works. I’m not in a good place. I only have about a year and a half left at home but it’s still hard. I don’t know if I can handle living on much longer. The only one who actually messages me to make sure I’m okay is my brother in law who lives two states away. No one else […]

7/2/2017 3 comments

An Apologetic Note to Those Unfortunate Enough to Know Me

by AKidWithAName 6/30/2017

written by AKidWithAName

Well, I’d like to start this out with an apology. I know it’s a little late for this (or, more accurately, far too late), but I assume that it’s probably best for me to apologize all the same.

So, I guess, I’ll start out with you, Mom and Dad. I’d just like to say that I’m super sorry for making your lives miserable. I really wish that I hadn’t come (you know, like be born and stuff) when I did. I know that I kind of ruined a lot of things for you guys and I just want to say that I’m honestly sorry. And, […]

6/30/2017 5 comments

xx

by Folfanda 6/26/2017

written by Folfanda

Yesterday was my birthday, things weren’t looking up so I took about 20 of the only over the counter sleeping pill my parent’s had (they don’t take much) and I swallowed them down with a soda. I though it would be a peaceful, surreal, almost lovely experience, but as I sat outside on the hammock I started to feel dazed and tired, my body just kind of bobbed around for a few minutes, I thought I could just lay down and drift, but the feeling only intensified, and though its what I wanted, naturally my body responded negatively to the effects of the pills, and […]

6/26/2017 7 comments

Drama

by calisto131 6/24/2017

written by calisto131

Being back home from college…it brings back bad memories. And Im reminded how toxic my family can be. I ache to get the fuck out of here but that’s not until September. Relapsing hard.

Going back to drugs.

Going back to my ex who dumped me.

Letting myself be mislead by a boy who has a girlfriend.

I’m a horrible person. We all are.

I try to ignore it all and act like it’s whatever. As if I’m going along with everything that’s going on and see where it takes me but…I’m too fuken sensitive for that.

I just want to escape all the drama. End it all.

Realized I measure my […]

6/24/2017 16 comments

I am Considered a Loser, Yet I am Privileged

by BlueDiamond 6/20/2017

written by BlueDiamond

(Yay, I fixed the internet on my computer. It seems to be connecting well, and is moving faster. I did everything I could such as restoring it to its default, restarting the computer, and even got my dad to check it out. He wasn’t able to fix it. All I had to do was update the security, clear all browsing history, and most of all disable the proxy server. Now, I don’t have wait for long periods for a page to show up, or have to keep reloading the page because it didn’t show up. Hope it stays this way.)

By society’s standards, I am a […]

6/20/2017 2 comments

whispers

by plasticflower 6/17/2017

written by plasticflower

today i, once again, was welcomed by a quiet house; except it wasn’t. they’re avoiding me. as soon as i opened the door, i heard whispers. a lot of them. now they’ve stopped, maybe they think i can’t hear them. although i quite like arriving and having time for myself, i don’t particularly like the fact that, even though they’re still awake, they’re pretending they’re not. it hurts a lot, but whatever; i can’t blame them. i’d pretend to be asleep all the time if i lived with another me, so i can’t really blame them.

the whispers have started again.

although i’m not 100% this time […]

6/17/2017 1 comment

i am sorry….

by Butterfly904 6/17/2017

written by Butterfly904

I’m sorry to all of my friends for lying to you and telling you many things I should have. For pushing you out of my life and telling you nothing is wrong and I am fine. I know they will NEVER be on this site, but I really truly am sorry. But not for this one friend. I not sorry for being shit to her. She never cared about me and when I would actually tell her something that has been on my mind for two fucking weeks she would just brush it off like it is nothing. IT IS SOMETHING THAT HAS CONCERNED ME […]

6/17/2017 0 comment

12:51am

by plasticflower 6/16/2017

written by plasticflower

it’s hard to tell what i feel when my brain doesn’t want to work. i’m starting to get tired of people thinking i just choose to not sleep. it doesn’t matter that i’m extremely tired from working, i still can’t sleep; yes, even if i just lay in bed with my eyes closed. family doesn’t seem to understand that, but whatever; i think they just don’t care that much, and who could blame them.

tomorrow hopefully will be better; as i say to myself every day. still waiting for the day it’ll come true.

6/16/2017 1 comment

by tyrfing 6/13/2017

written by tyrfing

I honestly didn’t think that the middle child syndrome was a thing, but apparently it is because both my parents show favoritism to my older brother or my younger sister.

I sometimes want to think it’s just me thinking that this is what it is; I have some hope that perhaps my depression and paranoia has made me skeptical of my parents, but my parents are biased people who routinely remind me that I don’t deserve to live as much as my siblings do.

They’ll probably deny it though because they have this weird perception that they’re good parents to begin with… But, that’s another story to tell another […]

6/13/2017 2 comments

Second

by Demonqueen 6/12/2017

written by Demonqueen

He’s destroyed me.

I won’t survive in prison.

He’s got what he wanted all along.
I won’t be able to have kids.

He’s destroyed every inch of me.
I have nothing left.

6/12/2017 17 comments

Helpless worthless and everything inbetween

by suicidalcindy 6/11/2017

written by suicidalcindy

I don’t know where to start so much
shit has gone on in my life I’ve
tried to kill myself more times than
I care to count, life should be
great and perfect but it’s the
opposite, I have 4 beautiful
children and a wonderful husband
I’ve just had so many issues
including my self and mostly my
mother my dads death then my step
dads death while trying to do GCSEs
then leave school get pregnant at
17 which changed how life would be
and I wouldn’t change it for the
world, but I’m drowning under my
issues and to my family I have […]

6/11/2017 6 comments

I tried once, I will try again.

by Suicidal13yrOld 6/11/2017

written by Suicidal13yrOld

I tried to commit suicide. I failed, got sent to CCU , I am now back home, and ready to try again. I will hang myself and slit my wrists. If not today then another.

6/11/2017 15 comments

Benzo withdrawal-my time is up.

by FFS80 6/11/2017

written by FFS80

I cannot tell the majority of my story here because if I did, I am sure the people I want to protect the most, will work out who posted this should they find it. I’ve even changed my writing style and the lot to post this, that’s how important it is that these people do not find out what I am intending to do. I DO NOT want ‘saving’ and I DO NOT want ‘help’ because there isn’t any.

A very long story cut short, I am an ‘addict’ who abused research chemical Benzodiazepines for a long period, and I stopped them last year after a […]

6/11/2017 9 comments

He made me feel like a fool again. This time our relationship paid the price

by GerbzBaby 6/10/2017

written by GerbzBaby

I’m irritated to say I’m writing about this particular “friend” again. I’m beyond angry with him. If you don’t know we and him have a history of “love” together. The last time I hung out with him he was kissing me on the cheek, cuddling with me, laying on my leg/ chest and jealously asking about my love life. Which to me seemed as thoughts still like me but boy was I fucking wrong.

Today I found out that he lead me on and fucked me over for my sister. At first he refused to tell me, saying I would be mad at him forever. Damn […]

6/10/2017 2 comments

First

by Demonqueen 6/10/2017

written by Demonqueen

I just really want to die.

The last seven years have been a blur.

But 7 years… 18-25. Years I haven’t lived.
Heck, I wasn’t even living before then.

Don’t get into a relationship, you’ll lose everything.
Time, friends, sanity, freedom are just a few.

6/10/2017 2 comments

The Worst Nightmare Ever

by GerbzBaby 6/8/2017

written by GerbzBaby

So if you don’t know in one of my past post I talked about having dreams that make me cry in my sleep or dreams that make me upset or sad (although I’m sure no one read it at all). They are harmless dreams that just reminded me of my past which I was sad I couldn’t relive differently. But this dream I had last night was not like the others I had.

The dream starts with me and my family on a passenger airplane. All seems well until something happens and the plane spirals out of control. In the dream I saw we […]

6/8/2017 1 comment

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