Category:

Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

Mom

by firefly11291998 7/23/2017

written by firefly11291998

My mom is sadly really sick rn. I am the youngest in the fam. I haven’t wanted to tell anyone any of my problems or worries bc there are other bigger things to worry abt. Recently i have started wondering if her sickness is my fault. I fucked up too many times when she was still with us. And my mom always told and asked me to stop. What if God is punishing her bc of me? What if I were to go……..what if then….everything with this family would go bck to normal. I was the accident. The one who after giving birth to my […]

7/23/2017 3 comments

My Parents are Narcissists

by BlueDiamond 7/22/2017

written by BlueDiamond

I’m afraid of writing this post because they might be watching this web-site. I talk and they pretend not to listen, but they’re watching me closely.

I discovered this weeks upon accidently stumbling upon Narcissist parents. They resemble this parenting style the most. When I learned about narcissism. It all everything clicked. Why I’m so unhappy. Why my self-esteem is so low to almost non-existing. Why my parents confused me, and yet I never wanted to blame them for fear that I’ll upset them like feel their wrath if you challenge let alone question it their ego.

Here, I thought that my mom was overprotected and my […]

7/22/2017 6 comments

Quietly Leaving

by 826 7/21/2017

written by 826

I always wanted it to be quiet and a secret so it would not leave a negative impact on anyone.

But, I hesitated a lot before my first attempted and they caught me.

Now everyone know about it.

Doing it feels harder because I do not want to hurt them. I saw how bad that affected them.

One day it felt so hard to resist and it was a successful one, anyone would think that iam just sleeping. Unfortunately, I did not realize that i had school on that day, my mom came to wake me for school and i woke up 4 days later to find out that […]

7/21/2017 3 comments

Dating and Friendship Advice for the Fat and Depressed

by BlueDiamond 7/21/2017

written by BlueDiamond

I had multiple guys contact me, but then I felt emotionally exhausted because I never juggled with so many guys. Flipping through the emails and it’s hard to remember things about each guy. Not to mention, they have to be aware that they flake out, or things don’t work out.

I met a guy today, and we ended up being bored with each other, so it was quick and we shook each other hand good-bye. We really didn’t have much in common.

Plus, I need money to go and do things, but then when I have a job. It’ll be all work and no time to do […]

7/21/2017 12 comments

One More Step.

by kellinandrew 7/21/2017

written by kellinandrew

I tell myself, one more step, every day. When I wake up, I think, just one more day. I try to keep my mind on one day, one moment, at a time. Because when I begin to let my mind drift, I start to slowly drift away. Sliding into an uncontrollable downward spiral. I cannot keep living my life through the small window I have allowed myself. I feel as if I am completely alone. My boyfriend, is gone. Our relationship fell apart after I lost our baby due to a miscarriage. My rape case against my father has been dismissed. So, he is on […]

7/21/2017 4 comments

So long, my beloved

by mranony 7/19/2017

written by mranony

I saw my mother died.
I saw every breath she struggling take.
I saw the twitches of her body as she dies.
I felt the warmth slowly leaving her body.
I saw my family breaking as my mother breaks.

And it was petrifying.

And as she was being embalmed,
I burnt every imperfection in my mind.
The scar on her left chest,
The stretch marks that bare the three of us.
And all the hardships she’s been through
etched in every part of her body.

And it was beautiful.

7/19/2017 3 comments

Ig this is me

by firefly11291998 7/18/2017

written by firefly11291998

Well this is my hello, might as well be my goodbye. I am a teenage girl. Recently…or maybe not. 6 months ago my mom had a stroke….fell into a coma. Has been in the hospital ever since. Being a already depressed, lonely, alone, suicidal teenager..it was extremely hard on me. I was sent to live with my sister who I was not close to at all. Here no one ever cared abt how I was feeling or if i was down bc there was so much other things to worry about. My mom could not walk, talk, move, eat, and was in a coma for […]

7/18/2017 15 comments

I’m here for you

by firefly11291998 7/18/2017

written by firefly11291998

Hey guys, if you see this and want/need to talk. I’m always open to talk. I really want to make someone(anyone) feel like they are worth it….

7/18/2017 1 comment

What do I do?

by Isolated 7/12/2017

written by Isolated

Okay so usually the depression and anxiety is constant without any particular reason as to why I feel that way. I’m sure you all get that and know what it’s like. However I currently have a problem and I don’t know how to fix it. I have been isolating myself, trying to ignore it but obviously this is only making me feel worse. So please tell me what the right thing is to do. I am already a piece of shit and I don’t fancy the idea of hurting those around me.

They story begins with me and my best friend. Everyone thought we were an […]

7/12/2017 5 comments

Birthdays

by millionth 7/12/2017

written by millionth

It’s my birthday soon but I don’t want it. I don’t want the attention. I don’t want the happiness of everyone around me. I don’t want the confirmation that another year has passed and yet, I am still here. Not by choice or desire, but I am here. And it hurts.

I know everyone will resume their uncaring ways by the end of the day, but the fact that they can become so fakely obsessive with the celebration of life without seeing the painfully evident irony of how they act during the daily times of actual life is laughable. How do they not see? How am […]

7/12/2017 10 comments

I really want to die

by Demonqueen 7/8/2017

written by Demonqueen

… But I’m scared of failure.
Will I be paralysed?
Brain damaged?

Fail and I’ll be watched and not able to reattempt.

………………..

Vent.

I have mental health, undiagnosed… But imo it is severe.

Vent.

I’m almost 26. Literally everybody I’ve met this year thought I was 12.
When I was 15…. Everybody thought I was 10-12.
You get the picture.
I’m paedo bait.
Not everyday you get to legally “bang” a “12” year old.

Lost count of the times middle aged men have tried to prostitute me and continue on to tell me they thought i was 12-14.

Walking home today with my mum and her partner and […]

7/8/2017 2 comments

Mum Dad are you wondering Why did she kill herself?

by beautifulmonster 7/8/2017

written by beautifulmonster

I’m her mum I loved her more than anyone

so where were you when you I had been raped as a kid? Why didn’t you be the mum and help me ? Why did I have to lie and hide to protect your feelings? I was the kid. I was the one mean to be crying. Instead you cried and lost your shit so i protected you. I just needed someone to help me, why did you have to be weak?

Why are you so depressed ? Why were you so sad all those years? What why? Your a mother your meant to be strong. You brought […]

7/8/2017 4 comments

My Parents Should Have Never Met suicidal urges are getting stronger

by BlueDiamond 7/6/2017

written by BlueDiamond

Seriously, they hate each other so much that they can’t stand being in the same room together. Me and I know my brother is screwed up from witnessing this bad marriage. They both always put us down. It was always about them showing how they could get us to behave or negging us until they got what they wanted. Control Control Control

My dad is so into himself, and deep down inside I resent my mom. She created this co-dependent relationship. I’m forced to love her because if I don’t then I’m a bad person. Maybe I don’t hate her as person, but she sucks as […]

7/6/2017 18 comments

am 11:11

by mynameisnight 7/5/2017

written by mynameisnight

“you’re ugly. and fat. and disgusting. like the shit of a pig. and no one is gonna love you.
how so silly. why do you think somebody will loves someone as ugly as you, when even your very own mother does not?
you’re such a waste of space and time. you should’ve died when your mother tried to aborted you 26 years ago. why do you have to be born? why do you have to life? you don’t deserve happiness. you don’t deserve to be loved. you’re that one child that was not supposed to have been born. you’re a huge mistake. unwanted, even by […]

7/5/2017 3 comments

Lost Hope

by bunniekiss17 7/2/2017

written by bunniekiss17

I’ve lost hope in my life ever turning around again. My mother has been abusive to me for years now and no one ever listens. I’ve been trying to get out of the house for years now. I’ve talked to social workers many times. It never works. I’m not in a good place. I only have about a year and a half left at home but it’s still hard. I don’t know if I can handle living on much longer. The only one who actually messages me to make sure I’m okay is my brother in law who lives two states away. No one else […]

7/2/2017 3 comments

An Apologetic Note to Those Unfortunate Enough to Know Me

by AKidWithAName 6/30/2017

written by AKidWithAName

Well, I’d like to start this out with an apology. I know it’s a little late for this (or, more accurately, far too late), but I assume that it’s probably best for me to apologize all the same.

So, I guess, I’ll start out with you, Mom and Dad. I’d just like to say that I’m super sorry for making your lives miserable. I really wish that I hadn’t come (you know, like be born and stuff) when I did. I know that I kind of ruined a lot of things for you guys and I just want to say that I’m honestly sorry. And, […]

6/30/2017 5 comments

xx

by Folfanda 6/26/2017

written by Folfanda

Yesterday was my birthday, things weren’t looking up so I took about 20 of the only over the counter sleeping pill my parent’s had (they don’t take much) and I swallowed them down with a soda. I though it would be a peaceful, surreal, almost lovely experience, but as I sat outside on the hammock I started to feel dazed and tired, my body just kind of bobbed around for a few minutes, I thought I could just lay down and drift, but the feeling only intensified, and though its what I wanted, naturally my body responded negatively to the effects of the pills, and […]

6/26/2017 7 comments

Drama

by calisto131 6/24/2017

written by calisto131

Being back home from college…it brings back bad memories. And Im reminded how toxic my family can be. I ache to get the fuck out of here but that’s not until September. Relapsing hard.

Going back to drugs.

Going back to my ex who dumped me.

Letting myself be mislead by a boy who has a girlfriend.

I’m a horrible person. We all are.

I try to ignore it all and act like it’s whatever. As if I’m going along with everything that’s going on and see where it takes me but…I’m too fuken sensitive for that.

I just want to escape all the drama. End it all.

Realized I measure my […]

6/24/2017 16 comments

I am Considered a Loser, Yet I am Privileged

by BlueDiamond 6/20/2017

written by BlueDiamond

(Yay, I fixed the internet on my computer. It seems to be connecting well, and is moving faster. I did everything I could such as restoring it to its default, restarting the computer, and even got my dad to check it out. He wasn’t able to fix it. All I had to do was update the security, clear all browsing history, and most of all disable the proxy server. Now, I don’t have wait for long periods for a page to show up, or have to keep reloading the page because it didn’t show up. Hope it stays this way.)

By society’s standards, I am a […]

6/20/2017 2 comments

whispers

by plasticflower 6/17/2017

written by plasticflower

today i, once again, was welcomed by a quiet house; except it wasn’t. they’re avoiding me. as soon as i opened the door, i heard whispers. a lot of them. now they’ve stopped, maybe they think i can’t hear them. although i quite like arriving and having time for myself, i don’t particularly like the fact that, even though they’re still awake, they’re pretending they’re not. it hurts a lot, but whatever; i can’t blame them. i’d pretend to be asleep all the time if i lived with another me, so i can’t really blame them.

the whispers have started again.

although i’m not 100% this time […]

6/17/2017 1 comment

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