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Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

Only if I could disappear

by turbulent thoughts
written by turbulent thoughts

I’m tired.

I’m tired of living in this shaggy shack and call it a home.

A fucking home.

Even if you could bring and build tall walls and ceilings, the core would still be the same old shack.

A fucking shack.

Why do you even pretend to be partners, huh? Emotional abuse isn’t supposed to be part of relationship.

A fucking relationship.

Stop it. Just stop it. I hate living under this pretence of loving family.

A fucking family.

I hate sharing space with you, I loathe it actually, It feels like you’re in my head.

My fucking head.

I don’t even know what I’m mad at? Small living space or giant follies in your relationship.

I […]

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not better, just better at dealing

by AKidWithAName
written by AKidWithAName

Haven’t been here for a while. A good few years, I guess. Some things have changed. Got into a surprisingly healthy relationship. Cut ties with my folks and the fundamentalist cult we were a part of. I understand and care about things now.

If I’m being honest, though, lots of things haven’t. I’m still a cutter. Still on painkillers. Still too scared to stop someone from assaulting me. Still can’t get my shitty parents off my mind. Still occupying the same place in society.

And I can’t help but think of all the times I’ve been told “it gets better” and be angry. Suicidal people aren’t stupid, […]

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FUCK IT – Update – Hard decision//Never Loved//Obdurance

by Thanatos.Nykthos
written by Thanatos.Nykthos

FUCK TIME TIME IS A B!TCH

 

FUCKIN RANT O’CLOCK, FUCKLES MCGEE!

GUESS WHAT?! I’m FUCKING waiting now, and I FUCKING hate it!

 

WAITING FOR THIS STUPID FUCKING SOLUTION which is GONNA MAKE MY LIFE BETTER

but FUCK WAITING OH GOD

I WAS STABLE for like A WEEK AND A HALF damnit! FUCK COPING! FUCK QUESTIONS from PROFANE PREACHERS of PALLID HATE!

HERE’s the UPDATE, because HELL YEAH that’s useful!

Part ONE:

I wanna make some FUCKIN DEMANDS, damnit!

I WANNA COFFIN, DAMNIT! and you BETTER NOT THROW AWAY ALL THE SHIT I PUT TOGETHER TO LAY THIS WHOLE MESS OUT FOR YA!

 

alright, now to the kind and well-deserving members of thesuicideproject.org, I’d like to […]

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Sometimes it’s worse to be wrong

by ????
written by ????

A continuation of the events described here…

She forgot her suitcase and came back a couple of days later. More of the same behaviour. I made a point of apologizing for a time many years ago when she was in a similar situation which I hand’t had the awareness or life experience to react/know how to respond properly. She appreciated it but oddly there was no empathy at my now being there, only “frustration” that there is apparently no way to “fix” the problem, and sadness at the idea of losing a friend. It’s not in others’ power to change things, “I have to want […]

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A failed duty

by A Crestfallen Angel
written by A Crestfallen Angel

Ever heard of situations where vilains try to get rid of someone because the person they want the most attention from isn’t giving it to them but to the another. It makes them so furious because they only make time with that person and only want to talk to that person that they don’t care if they exist because that person is present.
It’s very sad to say I feel their rage.
Of course I don’t want to hurt anybody but I can’t promise I haven’t thought about it.
She gave birth to me
So why does she give a stranger more attention than […]

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Never Loved

by Thanatos.Nykthos
written by Thanatos.Nykthos

Looking to golden lights, disoriented by gossamer affection

You never loved me- lie no more. Leave me or love me, I shan’t stand for your façade any longer. I see truth, I knew from the genesis of your sin, it held no virtues.
You called my light delusion, and you called my patience an unchecked ego. When I spoke clearly at last, your shell crumbled, you held no quarter to the lies before which you had brought forth against me. You say it “I love you not, I care nothing for you however you shall live.” And so it was laid plain.

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Unwanted

by Unaware27
written by Unaware27

Here I am 2 years later and I feel no different. My room is my favourite place to be, where I don’t have to prove my value to anyone. Between my family and my friends, I feel no love. I am the least favourite. I’ll try my best to check up on everyone, but I can go days, weeks and months without even messaging and noone would care.  It’s a mental battle everyday to tell myself I’m loved and people care, but I know within my heart I’m only telling myself a lie. Sometimes I wish things were different,  I wish I meant something to […]

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One day you will see it

by butto_love14
written by butto_love14

I am incredibly sorry if somebody made you feel as though it was difficult to love you . I am so incredibly sorry if you have ever felt this way. But i promise you…… the universe will send you someone so unexpectedly. Someone who will every day and forever  remind you of how great you are. Someone who will reinforce your belief in love as well as in yourself. Someone who will see your flaws but will forever remind you that your imperfections ,are what make you so perfect. Just tightly hold onto this belief . In the meantime fall in love with yourself – […]

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SHE

by butto_love14
written by butto_love14

She had nothing but good intentions

She wanted to look after you

She desired to build you both spiritually and mentally

She may have been a handful at times but

Remember

She’s different from everyone else you know

She has the spark

She is ambitious

You know you knew it yourself

Nothing but good intentions and a pure heart to love you with

Never forget

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R. has lost herself

by Virus.Found
written by Virus.Found

What the hell lifelong friend.?! 2 days ago I replied to my friend R. and she tells me short and cryptic sentences. It sounds like a goodbye. You’d think, someone who planned on dying, actually had some great last words to offer. But… that wasn’t the case.

So I’ve tried to make her tell somebody about the bottle of pills she swallowed, her roommate at best. It took me a while and I convinced her to do so – Radio silence. There was nothing I could do, so I just waited. Got a “My roommate took me to the hospital”, that’s it. I really wonder, if […]

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Horrible Day Stupid Niece

by lifeissuffering
written by lifeissuffering

I had a horrible day today. My niece (12) had lied to her mother, my sister in law about me. Saying that i “made” her mow tge lawn all by herself when I and her little sister helped. ALL three if us at the same time. She was even paid for it yet told a damn lie like it was child slavery. But its not that its the fact i tried to make her happy, free trips to the movies, free symmer camp, bike rides, trip to the water park, getter her free school supplies, ice cream, candy, staying up until 11 or even one […]

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A short letter to Dr.X

by freakinLadybird
written by freakinLadybird 1 min read

Dear Dr.X,

Thank you for getting through with the call with me today. I knew it was quite late for you since you didn’t have a continuous sleep the night before. I can hear your agitation in your tone although you kept on with the polite laughs and expressing gratitude as usual. The many times you called within a minute alone showed your agitation, while I was using the loo.

I want to tell you that I am sorry for coercing you into a late night call. I know that I was being inconsiderate of your situation. I only consider about my own convenience and feeling, ignoring […]

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Homeless again

by Manny Manson
written by Manny Manson

I had a great 5 yrs till I moved back home (5 hours away) to help take care of a family member that is declining in health. My family never gets along with me I’m unsure why I felt like I needed to be the bigger person, why I felt that this will be different.
Fast foward…
Im now homeless because I ended my life to help others, I have no money cuz I was living off my savings however I manage to have a “friend” who is lending their sofa/couch till the end of the month. Idk how imma eat, how imma get my […]

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Dad

by idkausername
written by idkausername

So my dads in jail again and now I’m a little bit of a mess because of it. It’s nothing new for my dad to be in jail or whatever but he promised me he would pay for my drivers Ed I work on weekends and have a VERY hard time saving when something goes wrong buying new stuff makes me feel better so I have no money saved and I need to start drivers Ed soon even if I started saving up now I still probably wouldn’t have enough for speed week. I feel bad for feeling bad for him because of everything he […]

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i hate myself

by 4rch1v35
written by 4rch1v35

i hate myself. i despise myself. out of everyone in the world, its me i hate the most. and i hate myself for feeling this way.

i live with my single mom because my dad cheated on her when i was six. yeah im still in highschool and my problems right now are so insignificant compared to others in the world.

i wish i was pretty. i hate the way i look. i wish i could cut off my fat with a knife. i wish i could cut into my eyelid to change my eye shape. i hate myself for this. my mom […]

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DYING TODAY IN A SHITTY COUNTRY

by lifeisadankjoke
written by lifeisadankjoke

I live in a country that sees suicide as an act of rebellion . So there are laws to scare people from commiting suicide . One of those laws is that if I am not above the age of 21 . If I commit suicide my close family parents and older siblings will be held accountable for my “mistake” by paying stupidly large sums of fines and me and my parents have to at least be held inside a “psych ward” ( basically a prison ) until I am deemed to be “normal” again . I have been actively trying to commit suicide since I […]

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I hate it that my parents can’t even understand me

by ordinary_girl13
written by ordinary_girl13

It was a fine morning, I woke up with a good mood and me and my mother were joking together like any other. After I ate my breakfast, I wanted to stretch my body but my mother misunderstood and thought I won’t wash the dishes. I said, “I want to stretch my arms.” Then my aunt comments, “That’s her excuse.” My mother immediately replied, “Don’t involve yourself.” And then I couldn’t control my tears for the first time after finally getting control of my depression and anxiety. I rushed to the sink and washed the dishes, crying. My mother approached me and she said, “Thank […]

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My father will be the death of me

by ihaplyiiiwggth
written by ihaplyiiiwggth

He has been the source of my issues since I was born. He’s abusive in all ways possible: physical, mental, emotional, sexual, and financial. I’ll never be able to leave this place and he’s got my mother wrapped around his finger, so whatever I say about him, she excuses it.

 

Lately, I’ve been thinking about dying. I’ll leave all of my possessions with my brother (my best friend) and I’ll apologize to all of my friends before I quit. I have nowhere else to go and he’s controlling my life. I can’t leave without killing myself. It’s the only way out.

 

I have pets, but he’s threatened […]

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