Category:

Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

Wish I had support for real bad days…

by Virus.Found 11/4/2022

written by Virus.Found

What an god awful day. My emotional capacity is of a child, I couldn’t even let anyone know I went home early, due to feeling like ass. I had it in my gut, that none of my friends will have time to talk to me about it, and I was right. I’m going to cut my arms open tonight. It has been a long time, since that happened but it’s just one of those days you know.? I feel heavy, burdened. It feels like an entity has reached for my heart and keeps hold of it. My weekend will just be me.

11/4/2022 1 comment

my dad’s suicide

by imissyoueveryday 10/22/2022

written by imissyoueveryday

my dad died on 16/5/21
everyday i think of him. there is not a single day where i forget about him/. my dad had killed himself. i miss him bro, i remember driving in the car with him, blasting pitbull or elton john on full volume, speeding down little countryside roads. this man has been a role model to me, my entire life. i feel so guilty for his death. the day before he had died, (my parents were divorced) he had called me 6 FUCKING TIMES… and i ignored every single one of them because he was an alcoholic, and i was afraid of […]

10/22/2022 2 comments

When does it end :)

by LeaveMeAlone. 10/9/2022

written by LeaveMeAlone.

There’s always something new.
What more can I say?
There’s just always something new.
And it’s never a good thing

Well really, I do want to say more than that, but I thought it sounded pretty neat. Speaking of the word neat, I always thought that it would rhyme with caveat. But those two words dont rhyme.
I’ve been kind of, “productive” these past few days. If you can call it that. Well, yeah, I guess it’s the right word, the problem is that everyone says it’s not good enough. They just go “Hey man, you seem fucking miserable and you need to eat more. Just […]

10/9/2022 1 comment

I don’t know what I am right at this moment

by Virus.Found 10/3/2022

written by Virus.Found

Do you ever dissociate on your couch at night and casually talk about suicide with your friends, though usually you keep it to yourself.?

Welp, I didn’t just spend a whole hour, writing a whole monologue on the matter of the meaning of life, nooo, I did not… This is going to be awkward tomorrow, I can tell. Not sure, if 50 deleted messages are worse though, seeing as I do that a lot, when I am hurt about something or think: Eh, it’s irrelevant (in a few hours) anyway (’cause my mood is like a pendulum of shit).

I think I’ll leave it. I don’t want […]

10/3/2022 0 comment

Reality setting in

by ShortOne 9/7/2022

written by ShortOne

Hello again, I’m back after 4 years. I had to get back on here to help myself get back on track in life. I last posted in 2018 and primarily talked about the abuse I received from a classmate in my middle/high school. Now, I come back to you to talk about how the cycle continues. I have had an absolutely devastating year, I mean i’ve been miserable for all of college but it had really peaked this year. I moved back in with my family after I dropped out of university and ever since I moved in my life has been a living fucking […]

9/7/2022 0 comment

Tired

by limbo987654321 9/7/2022

written by limbo987654321

It’s my first time using something like this, but anything will do at this point. I feel like my voice is being enclosed and my vocal cords are shut down. I feel like I’m not enough everyday and have to live my life pretending to love those who could care less about me. Everyday I’m not enough, and every night I cry myself to sleep hoping for something different….for 7 years now, this feeling hasn’t gone away. I feel my body slowly becoming more and more numb each time I realize I’m not enough. My father was never around and my mother is too obsessed […]

9/7/2022 0 comment

Forget me please

by frogfailure 9/5/2022

written by frogfailure

I’ve tried my hardest to make myself the most expendable person ever, I’m a people pleaser so it wasn’t that hard, be nice enough so that people don’t hate you over anyone, but quiet enough so that they can’t quite put you into a category. At least thats what i try to convince myself. “You don’t have any close friends so that when you’re gone you won’t hurt as many people” “It’s good that they constantly forget about you, this is the plan, remember?”. My friends aren’t bad friends. I’m lucky they even give me the time of day. I’m a horrible person for wasting […]

9/5/2022 1 comment

Soon.

by frogfailure 9/5/2022

written by frogfailure

Ive been in pain for as long as i can remember. Not just mentally or emotionally, but physically in pain. Everyone writes it off as me being dramatic, but ive been forcing myself to do things that should be simple for so long. Even getting out of bed is difficult for me. Im tired of feeling this way and i can’t see an end for it through anything else. I don’t know what method i plan on using yet, and honestly i don’t even care if its painless at this point, my threshold for physical pain is so high that the hedaches i get now […]

9/5/2022 0 comment

Only if I could disappear

by turbulent thoughts 8/21/2022

written by turbulent thoughts

I’m tired.

I’m tired of living in this shaggy shack and call it a home.

A fucking home.

Even if you could bring and build tall walls and ceilings, the core would still be the same old shack.

A fucking shack.

Why do you even pretend to be partners, huh? Emotional abuse isn’t supposed to be part of relationship.

A fucking relationship.

Stop it. Just stop it. I hate living under this pretence of loving family.

A fucking family.

I hate sharing space with you, I loathe it actually, It feels like you’re in my head.

My fucking head.

I don’t even know what I’m mad at? Small living space or giant follies in your relationship.

I […]

8/21/2022 0 comment

not better, just better at dealing

by AKidWithAName 8/17/2022

written by AKidWithAName

Haven’t been here for a while. A good few years, I guess. Some things have changed. Got into a surprisingly healthy relationship. Cut ties with my folks and the fundamentalist cult we were a part of. I understand and care about things now.

If I’m being honest, though, lots of things haven’t. I’m still a cutter. Still on painkillers. Still too scared to stop someone from assaulting me. Still can’t get my shitty parents off my mind. Still occupying the same place in society.

And I can’t help but think of all the times I’ve been told “it gets better” and be angry. Suicidal people aren’t stupid, […]

8/17/2022 16 comments

FUCK IT – Update – Hard decision//Never Loved//Obdurance

by Thanatos.Nykthos 8/10/2022

written by Thanatos.Nykthos

FUCK TIME TIME IS A B!TCH

FUCKIN RANT O’CLOCK, FUCKLES MCGEE!

GUESS WHAT?! I’m FUCKING waiting now, and I FUCKING hate it!

WAITING FOR THIS STUPID FUCKING SOLUTION which is GONNA MAKE MY LIFE BETTER

but FUCK WAITING OH GOD

I WAS STABLE for like A WEEK AND A HALF damnit! FUCK COPING! FUCK QUESTIONS from PROFANE PREACHERS of PALLID HATE!

HERE’s the UPDATE, because HELL YEAH that’s useful!

Part ONE:

I wanna make some FUCKIN DEMANDS, damnit!

I WANNA COFFIN, DAMNIT! and you BETTER NOT THROW AWAY ALL THE SHIT I PUT TOGETHER TO LAY THIS WHOLE MESS OUT FOR YA!

alright, now to the kind and well-deserving members of thesuicideproject.org, I’d like to […]

8/10/2022 7 comments

Sometimes it’s worse to be wrong

by ???? 8/8/2022

written by ????

A continuation of the events described here…

She forgot her suitcase and came back a couple of days later. More of the same behaviour. I made a point of apologizing for a time many years ago when she was in a similar situation which I hand’t had the awareness or life experience to react/know how to respond properly. She appreciated it but oddly there was no empathy at my now being there, only “frustration” that there is apparently no way to “fix” the problem, and sadness at the idea of losing a friend. It’s not in others’ power to change things, “I have to want […]

8/8/2022 0 comment

A failed duty

by A Crestfallen Angel 8/6/2022

written by A Crestfallen Angel

Ever heard of situations where vilains try to get rid of someone because the person they want the most attention from isn’t giving it to them but to the another. It makes them so furious because they only make time with that person and only want to talk to that person that they don’t care if they exist because that person is present.
It’s very sad to say I feel their rage.
Of course I don’t want to hurt anybody but I can’t promise I haven’t thought about it.
She gave birth to me
So why does she give a stranger more attention than […]

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8/6/2022 0 comment

1 Email

Never Loved

by Thanatos.Nykthos 8/4/2022

written by Thanatos.Nykthos

Looking to golden lights, disoriented by gossamer affection

You never loved me- lie no more. Leave me or love me, I shan’t stand for your façade any longer. I see truth, I knew from the genesis of your sin, it held no virtues.
You called my light delusion, and you called my patience an unchecked ego. When I spoke clearly at last, your shell crumbled, you held no quarter to the lies before which you had brought forth against me. You say it “I love you not, I care nothing for you however you shall live.” And so it was laid plain.

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8/4/2022 1 comment

2 Email

Unwanted

by Unaware27 8/3/2022

written by Unaware27

Here I am 2 years later and I feel no different. My room is my favourite place to be, where I don’t have to prove my value to anyone. Between my family and my friends, I feel no love. I am the least favourite. I’ll try my best to check up on everyone, but I can go days, weeks and months without even messaging and noone would care. It’s a mental battle everyday to tell myself I’m loved and people care, but I know within my heart I’m only telling myself a lie. Sometimes I wish things were different, I wish I meant something to […]

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8/3/2022 2 comments

3 Email

One day you will see it

by butto_love14 7/30/2022

written by butto_love14

I am incredibly sorry if somebody made you feel as though it was difficult to love you . I am so incredibly sorry if you have ever felt this way. But i promise you…… the universe will send you someone so unexpectedly. Someone who will every day and forever remind you of how great you are. Someone who will reinforce your belief in love as well as in yourself. Someone who will see your flaws but will forever remind you that your imperfections ,are what make you so perfect. Just tightly hold onto this belief . In the meantime fall in love with yourself – […]

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7/30/2022 5 comments

3 Email

SHE

by butto_love14 7/30/2022

written by butto_love14

She had nothing but good intentions

She wanted to look after you

She desired to build you both spiritually and mentally

She may have been a handful at times but

Remember

She’s different from everyone else you know

She has the spark

She is ambitious

You know you knew it yourself

Nothing but good intentions and a pure heart to love you with

Never forget

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7/30/2022 1 comment

4 Email

R. has lost herself

by Virus.Found 7/28/2022

written by Virus.Found

What the hell lifelong friend.?! 2 days ago I replied to my friend R. and she tells me short and cryptic sentences. It sounds like a goodbye. You’d think, someone who planned on dying, actually had some great last words to offer. But… that wasn’t the case.

So I’ve tried to make her tell somebody about the bottle of pills she swallowed, her roommate at best. It took me a while and I convinced her to do so – Radio silence. There was nothing I could do, so I just waited. Got a “My roommate took me to the hospital”, that’s it. I really wonder, if […]

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7/28/2022 3 comments

0 Email

Horrible Day Stupid Niece

by lifeissuffering 7/27/2022

written by lifeissuffering

I had a horrible day today. My niece (12) had lied to her mother, my sister in law about me. Saying that i “made” her mow tge lawn all by herself when I and her little sister helped. ALL three if us at the same time. She was even paid for it yet told a damn lie like it was child slavery. But its not that its the fact i tried to make her happy, free trips to the movies, free symmer camp, bike rides, trip to the water park, getter her free school supplies, ice cream, candy, staying up until 11 or even one […]

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7/27/2022 0 comment

1 Email

A short letter to Dr.X

by freakinLadybird 7/26/2022

written by freakinLadybird 1 min read

Dear Dr.X,

Thank you for getting through with the call with me today. I knew it was quite late for you since you didn’t have a continuous sleep the night before. I can hear your agitation in your tone although you kept on with the polite laughs and expressing gratitude as usual. The many times you called within a minute alone showed your agitation, while I was using the loo.

I want to tell you that I am sorry for coercing you into a late night call. I know that I was being inconsiderate of your situation. I only consider about my own convenience and feeling, ignoring […]

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7/26/2022 2 comments

6 Email

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