Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

1

My Suicide Note Was Addressed to You

November 5th, 2017by greyghoste

Even after every day you didn’t talk to me. Every day you told me you hated me. That I should leave and never come back. After every day I tried to say I was sorry for my shortcomings, and every day that you never forgave me. Every day you never apologized for your own shortcomings, for the bullying and the heartbreak, for every time I tried to share my life with you only for you to throw it back in my face. Every day you told me I looked like a whore when I put on make up when I didn’t feel confident; every day …

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6

My whole f*cking life..

November 5th, 2017by lonelylostsoul

So.. there goes my story I guess.

I am currently 14 years old. I am a girl. That girl that’s always there for everyone, the girl that’ll help no matter what. That girl who’s always ‘happy’. Or at least, I am the one the others want me to be. I’m always smiling, always laughing, always joking around. But no one understands how much I just want to kill myself. Why you ask? Well.. First of all, I’ve been dealing with depression for over 2 years now. And it’s not just depression anymore. I have a few more personality disorders. I also have anxiety. Yes, I have …

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0

seems like my best isn’t good enough

October 31st, 2017by vee

I’ve been wanting to go back home since the first night i spent here. Back then i thought we’d bought a ticket for me to go back after around six months, so i wasn’t all that worried. Though my mum told me in January we got a one way ticket. I was a bit upset, but thought, “i’ll just have to get through it and then i’ll go back”. But now, going back has been written down as probably the biggest failure. There’s such high expectations that i simply cannot meet. Everyone asks me what i want to do and why didn’t i …

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2

Sometimes Dying on the Inside is Harder

October 28th, 2017by greyghoste

Do you know what it feels like to have the last person you would say goodbye to if you killed yourself tell you that you’re a terrible fucking person? I’ll tell you what it feels like. It feels like your chest caving in on itself, your throat being torn out by the vocal cords, and your heart being crushed under the weight of unspoken words. It feels like fresh makeup running in lines down your face and like each heartbeat is a damnation, an act of sin. It feels like dying in the worst possible way and makes the noose you tied from your

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2

Virtual Reality ( VR ) , Artificial Intelligence ( AI ) , Transhumanist / Transhumanism , space travel , mutations : to escape this boring reality , boring real world , boring real life !

October 28th, 2017by niki

Virtual Reality ( VR ) , Artificial Intelligence ( AI ) , Transhumanist / Transhumanism , space travel , mutations : to escape this boring reality , boring real world , boring real life !

Human’s imagination is better than reality !

Movie / Movies is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Game / Games is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Comic / Comics book is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Novel / Novels is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Science fiction ( sci-fi ) is better than …

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1

Forgotten Feelings

October 20th, 2017by kellinandrew

I have a lot going for me. I have college ahead and an amazing boyfriend. He gives me the world and loves me more than anyone else has. I know that I love him. But it feels weird sometimes because I go through these moments where I don’t feel anything and I don’t like it. I love him more than anything but when I feel nothing, I am so mean. I forget that people have feelings and I lash out and act like a flaming ****. I hate it but when I’m this way, its like I’m moving through a daze and I am just …

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4

I am healing

October 18th, 2017by lonewolf23

My father was holding me back in life and I hadn’t realized this until now that i moved out. I feel happier these days, happier than I’ve ever felt in a while. My insecurities are quickly vanishing within a matter of weeks. I had forgotten how social the real me was. Surprisingly I’m quite impressive with the ladies. I can sleep better too.

My fathers’ anger has empowered me to take a leap of faith into unknown territory but to my surprise I’m doing just fine living in an apartment by myself….more than fine…I feel awesome!! I will sacrifice a mansion for a healthy mind any …

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1

Trying to live…

October 18th, 2017by suedamundo

The extent to which you at least try to live, many bad things happen and accumulate … Until you reach your limit!! And from there it is unbearable to live.

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18

Give me a chance

October 16th, 2017by uniiicorn

I know a lot of people may choose to ignore this, if so, i hope you skip breakfast the next day (kidding). However, im hoping that there is one person, just one, who hears me out. Im not asking for a reply, though feel free to do so if you wish. I think i’ve blabbered enough, so let me get to the point:

Im losing my mind.

Every depression help center i go to, or any article i see, i see in bold:

YOU ARE NOT ALONE, IT WILL GET BETTER. HELP IS EVERYWHERE.

I wish i could believe the nice people down at ‘the guardian’, but frankly i …

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6

My first attempt

My first attempt

October 16th, 2017by NotAlright

I was always a loner, I am just the girl who would sit in the corner and read alone, having only a few friends. I’m also one to have a lot of secrets and put on layers and layers of masks, to hide the brocken form and tears… and soon, I nolonger know how to cry, how to laugh from my heart, or how to smile truely. I hide away behind the walls, and isolated myself even more to protect what’s left of me, to protect my thick fire walls and masks. And due to those suppressed emotions, I always have a problem with my …

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5

I Don’t Want to Exist Anymore

October 15th, 2017by fuckexistence

I’m sorry I exist, I apologized to my mother not even an hour ago. Her response was, I wouldn’t go that far. How far Mom? As far as to cease to exist? It would be so much easier, to just cease to exist. Taking a life seems so dramatic, it’s effects long lasting. Ceasing to exist is much more simple, one just doesn’t anymore. No one is hurt, no family, friends, or co-workers. If anything, they’re actually better off; they never actually had to deal with me and my bullshit. I never disappointed them or let them down or hurt them in any way, shape, …

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2

I wasn’t prepared…. were you ?

October 10th, 2017by Urm8451n

Good day you all,
This post will include; panic attack, co op failure, overcoming love.
Added bold words to make reading easier and able to jump
edit: Also added conclusions down the page. 

start Today I had a great day, studied, and got few compliments, perhaps even started few new social relationship here or there.
It is really nice to start a new page at a university.
But…
change in events I went back home, a friend contacted me, he asked if I wanna go out with him like we did two days ago. Back then [8.10.17] he said “I want you to know that I completely respect you, and I haven’t done anything with …

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4

Off the hook (addiction)

October 9th, 2017by Urm8451n

TLDR : addiction sign, lack of friendships and lost conflict.

Today I did really good. I deactivated my Facebook account and I’m really close to stop spending useless time on whatsapp.

For those of you who don’t know,  due to suffering and lack of friends… and probably fucked up parents,  life failures, crapy job, broken heart and etc…  I started to develop signs of addiction.

Im taking Ritalin for studying (ADHD)  and each time it hits me, I feel really good, like I’m focusing on the high I get from it.

I also took lately mid-strong pain killers for my stomach ache and I started getting high on it. …

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3

Loneliness… don’t u feel it?

October 8th, 2017by Urm8451n

I have been standing outside the house for a while, letting my thoughts hit hard on love and company.

I really miss my ex, but not because she was someone who gave me trust. But because she was something to hug, hold and have sex with.

It’s easy to remember our time together as lovely,  but in fact it wasn’t as so. therefor I decided to quit it, and even then I’m still missing that hug.

I feel like play Chas game against “time”,  as if some kind of persona,  shaped like a standing clock, is over thinking me at a chess game, and slowly winning.

I wish I …

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3

sleepless…… aren’t you? (Help me)

October 7th, 2017by Urm8451n

I would define my self strength to bare mental and physical damage as 8/10.

But even though I’m coping with major life defects (depression, lack of money, friendly back stabs by friends and etc) I still am being damaged.

I’m amazed by how fucked you can get when being stressed. I don’t feel stressed, but I’m definitely showing symptoms of it. I’m sleepless.  I can’t fucking go to sleep. It started to show up in the last two month and I’m clearly am devastated by it.  I would like to get advices of how to cope with it.

Please give my an idea!

Solutions are welcome!

anyhow, stay strong, be …

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1

my crazy life…

October 4th, 2017by hellfire187

hey,

just want to share a little bit of my story.  Sorry for my bad english.

My father is an alcoholic psycho, as long as I can think. He was allways fliping out. I started smoking weed, when I was 12. I was smoking and drinking every day, since Im 16. At this age, I became sick, crohns desease. Every day pain, like hell… Im on opiate painkillers since Im 20. This every day pain breaks my brain. Got depressed after some years of horrible pain. With 25 I started to take speed, meth, cokain everyday use, in weekends mdma, sometimes lsd, alltogether with weed and painkillers. Every …

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8

good ol’ verbal abuse

September 28th, 2017by loosejoystick

tonight has reminded me why i want to die. my sister and her boyfriend are staying over for a night and of course my stepdad had to embarrass me and make me feel like complete shit in front of them. he does so by calling me pathetic, lazy, says i’ve done nothing with my life and mocks me by going “ohh wow i’m so depressed, poor me! i want to kill myself, no one cares about me!” which results in me hiding away in my room until they go to bed. they take his side, which comes to no surprise, and basically tell me “shit …

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11

Relapse.

September 25th, 2017by Eccedentesiastsoul

5 days ago I lost 136 days of being clean of cutting. It might seem like nothing but it took all of me to get past those 136 days. When I broke them it wasn’t like always. Right now, I feel so shitty about myself and I’m in a really bad place. I got through the last school year taking vitamin supplements because the doctor told me to do so. I stopped them about 2-3 months ago and for the past week I’ve been feeling so down and tired all the time. Last night, I slept for the longest I have ever slept since school …

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3

September 24th, 2017by snader

Moving on, as a concept, is easy. It is automatically breathing and taking one step and another, it is walking forward with a hint of history in the back of your eyes and a gleam of hope in front of them. It is doing what people tell you is ‘best, is most normal for people in your situation’ as if they have any idea what that situation is and as if they know what is best for you. But nonetheless, moving on, as a concept, is easy. It requires no effort, it is what we do, what we do, what we do.
Yet in reality …

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3

Sin.

September 22nd, 2017by Eccedentesiastsoul

“Wanting to die, is a sin”

Our English teacher read that line. I was in shock. I could hear people whispering and laughing. No one seemed to care. How could she say that? How could the author of the book write about that? How do they want people to admit that they have been wanting to die when they are being taught that it is a sin? Telling us that, would only make us wish we were dead already. We have already got the sin, haven’t we? Why wait around and collect more sins by thinking the way we do?  Wanting to die isn’t a choice, …

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