Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

1

Failllllll mums birthday

  February 15th, 2018 by beautifulmonster

I feel even worthless today. It’s my mums birthday. I couldn’t even gas myself properly. What a fail. Now I have to wait till tommorow.

I’m really annoyed. I’m lying in my bed head hurts. I don’t want to be here another minute. I really don’t.

I cannot believe my own sister did not come to the hospital. So called ‘friends’ pfffttttt. Every dog for themselves. But my own family. Gronks yesterday on shit so they say I’m on G?! I fuvking don’t even like it. Hospital staff so rude. I’m begging them my chest was hurting and she kept telling me I took G. If I …

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1

My Path… Your Path… My Dream… Your Dream… ?

  February 10th, 2018 by Itscolourlife

Hello Im back again !
So.. this is what I feel right now..
I want to be loved by my parents.. I want them to hear my stories.. chatting and laughing with me..
Im stuck here..
The doctor said that I suffered from depresssion and stress right now..
I thought that they will understand and love me after what they heard..
But its still the same..
What makes me sad is..
I try to live like what my parents want since a kid..
I will try to live up to their expectation..
I even stop pursuing my hobby as what my parents told me.. Actually its really hard for me to let this …

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3

Im not racist but life could have been easier for me if I was white

  February 8th, 2018 by Letmyheartsing

This is a deep song about racism but there’s both perspectives. Both sides makes a lot of sense. I’m not racist, but neither am I pro-black. I am black but my dads biracial which means I had a white grandma, but sadly she passes away back in 2009 I believe(my mom didn’t take me to her funeral because she didn’t like my dad). My white relatives live way out in the suburbs of Ohio, and when I tell you they are racist believe me! My mom told me stories that my dad told her.
My white grandma was attracted to black men but

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2

I don’t care…

  February 5th, 2018 by AlwaysSoTired123

“If I drive fast enough…the impact will make it quick.” “If I could just drink a little more, I’ll fall right to sleep…” ” If I could just cut a little deeper…” These thoughts used to scare the hell me…but now, they just hang around in my head, like a lingering headache, that you just can’t seem to get rid off. Death now, doesn’t scare me. I don’t care if there’s ‘another life’ after this one or if I just end up as plant food. I just don’t care anymore.  I haven’t cared for a very very long time.

…I don’t care if deep inside, I rot …

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7

The hotline

  February 3rd, 2018 by zkolijn

A few days ago my fiancé told me that he almost committed suicide. This had torn me down and I thought it was my fault. I wasn’t able to help him because he kept this from me. He kept this from me because he was scared of hurting me.

Since he told me, I have had visions of being at his funeral. I have been an emotional mess. I know it wasn’t my fault but I felt like I failed him. I am so grateful that he was sound enough to call the suicide hotline number before he did.

He told me that I am his reason for …

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2

Well I Think This IS Probably My End

  February 1st, 2018 by the_black_3th_of_april.exe

So like the guy in my post of yesterday said: “things will get worse”. So has he said it happened. Today was a great fucking bad day. The mom of my girlfriend told me she couldn’t come to my home so she went sad, then they fight and when she told me a good thing among fucking bullshit that maybe she could come to my home, 10 minutes later she told me that it is done, she finished the relationship because she eared his mom talking whit is dick stepdad and that asshole told her bullshit and to end the problems she left me and …

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3

I Don’t Have Another Reason To Live

  January 31st, 2018 by the_black_3th_of_april.exe

So this is my little “story”. I don’t have very good english and a grammar cuz I am a native spanish speaker, and this shit will be a little bit long. Im going to talk of about only 2 major problems of the other many. And this will be long

So I am a guy of 15 years. At 2009 I lost my mother it hurt me at the time but I was to young to comprehend that I will never see her again. So the years pass and I grew up particulary “fine” I guess and I succed with regular grades at school, then it

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2

I can’t do this anymore

  January 27th, 2018 by Ziadus

  • As a kid I was always left out and lonely. It made me create a lot of imaginary friends and a strong creative but antisocial mind. However, it also made me want attention and when I didn’t get that, it made me cry. I had so many bad things happen to me I closed myself off from the world and now I don’t know who I am. All I knew was that I was an attention seeker, money waster (I caused the family to pay a lot of stuff) and horrible person because I did bad things just for attention. I hate myself so

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4

I wish I live in movies, books, novels, comics, anime, video games. Real world / Real life / Reality is boring & depressing.

  January 26th, 2018 by niki

Honestly, I just can’t understand nor fathom why Most / Majority of people can go watch movies, read cool, creative, imaginative books / novels / anime / comics, or play super imaginative & fantasy video games, and then later on they just go back to reality, as if nothing happens, and they’re ok with everything.

I hate to say this, but Most people simply just lack Imaginations. Even worse, Most people are boring. All people care in the everyday’s reality & their lives is just the most superficial, mundane, boring, & stupid things. Which is very depressing, especially when you feel like you’re just alone & …

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5

good god..

  January 25th, 2018 by deaddollie

i’m developing weird feelings for my friend. I really like him, but I can’t tell if he feels the same..

i’ll leave it for now. nothing good comes of feelings like these, or confessing them.

I just wish I didn’t catch romantic feelings for every person who is nice to me. it’s kinda pathetic.

I just.. guess I’m so starved for love, I latch onto anyone who shows any affection towards me (platonic or otherwise)

I’m tired. I’m so tired. maybe something good will be brought on by tomorrow.

 

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5

ugh

  January 24th, 2018 by deaddollie

things are really rocky right now, my life is falling apart, my birthday is next week, I have exams…

i’m not sure how to push through and keep going. i’m not really suicidal like I was, but I am really lost and confused and hurt. I’m hoping that I can make friends here, and we can support each other through these trying times..

life is shit, but it’s not always shit. you gotta hang on for those good moments.

– Dollie

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17

On The Verge Of Giving Up

  January 24th, 2018 by someonewhoneedsajaket

Hello. This will be my first entry, and honestly… I am scared. I badly needed help from a professional, but my mom just nags at me, saying that she doesn’t want a daughter who is going to have records with some psychiatrist. My father, who was with me when we went to the hospital, knew and heard what my doctor said. That I needed psychiatric consultation. But he just shrugged it off as if what I’m going through is just easy as putting first aid on a wounded knee.

I’ve been suffering for years now because of my father. Words, words just can’t describe how horrible …

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1

Still here.

  January 24th, 2018 by miralee18765

About two years ago I wrote a post talking about how I wish I could just disappear. Two years have passed since then, and I still feel that way, and I think I’ll stay that way until the day I die. I’ve tried to engage with friends more, but just when they’re about to know something about me I withdraw and go back to the  ” I’m fine” phrase that blocks all attempts at cracking me open and have me show more emotions.

I was told by someone recently that he couldn’t understand me. He said, ” You’re always smiling, and that’s why our friends think …

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2

Long Time, No See

  January 18th, 2018 by theendoftime

I made my first post here 6 months ago. I cannot remember how i felt then but I’m sure it’s a similar feeling of what I have now. I am overwhelmed with pressure into going into nursing school. In all honesty, I dont want to be a nurse. I do not have the social capability of doing so. My parents are forcing so much onto me and my mother says I have no right to choose what is best for me even though I am almost 20. I’ve been lying bout my grades just for them to leave me alone and it has come to …

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7

I want to kill myself

  January 17th, 2018 by eeyore

i don’t wanna deal with anything once again my father is relying on me to do his responsibilities I’m out here figuring out insurance shit I don’t even know what provider is supposed to be or what deductible is

he always gets mad at me for not knowing stuff no one ever taught me. As if a freaking dove is gonna whisper all the things I need to know in my ear.

my mom on the other hand is making me take religious classes and I don’t know she’s so harsh on me about it. I actually have cried everyday for the past two-ish weeks.

I always get …

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1

Victim

  January 10th, 2018 by lonewolf23

My mother could’ve and probably should’ve done something sooner. I know for a fact that things would’ve been better had she just acted sooner. My father was abusive and manipulative yet it took her 13 years to realize this. Either that or fear got the better of her judgement. I don’t hate my mom, I just hate her inaction and how things took so long to change. My teenage years along with some of my childhood years are so empty thanks to all the BS between my parents. I sometimes think I should’ve called the cops myself. But i couldn’t even do that back then …

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3

Just a video

  January 9th, 2018 by eeyore

This is a video I thought was ummm inspirational idk the word to describe this video doesn’t exist

if you do watch this tell me ur thoughts

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12

Don’t think I’ll make it

  January 9th, 2018 by eeyore

Theres this pain in my chest that reminds me that I probably never make it

I’ll never be able to “show my true colors” I’m not sure who I am. I don’t know what my favorite things r I never care and I don’t think anyone ever will either. Will I ever find out what my goals for life are and would I even be able to achieve them

I feel like I don’t want myself. It’s kinda like I have no faith or hope in myself

Ive been feeling really empty lately I can’t even cry I’m just empty I don’t sleep I don’t eat I don’t …

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4

Remembering those who fight

  December 30th, 2017 by SilentVoices

I remember the psychiatric wards.

I remember the ice cold floors in the morning, and walking barefoot to the unlockable bathrooms to take a piss. Rolling out of the beds in a drugged daze for the nurse to take my vitals.

”How are you feeling this morning?”

”Fine.”

I remember the series of emotions that flow through me as I process my situation again- for the 5th day in a row:

How long am I going to be here for?

Oh God, I can’t believe I’m (back) here. How the hell do I explain this to everyone? Am I crazy? Does anyone even know I’m in here?

This isn’t so bad, right?

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7

  December 29th, 2017 by eeyore

I love how my dad decides to be a father whenever he feels like it

He expects me to take care of his family, problem is I can’t even take care of myself

he just ignores the fact that he has responsibilities and just shitting mad at me for not doing his shit and doesn’t think that what he’s doing is wrong. He never admits that he’s wrong.

I feel like my mom loves him out of fear if that makes sense she would never have the courage to leave him

we just got a new baby sister and my dad made me spend the hospital nights with my …

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