Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.


After 5 years .. I am back again at suicide project !

  July 24th, 2018 by jano.19

The Last time I posted was FIVE years ago ..

I never though I’d ever come back .!

Yet here I am

I guess we never really change !

no matter how hard we try to change ourselves deep down we will always be the same .

I fought hard .. and I’m still fighting .. I’m not really willing to surrender not before not now not ever

yet still my inner self , my flaws , my weaknesses.. are catching up with me ..

spend the last five years in what I developed to br a stable life .. it is actually to most people it’s what they want .

I got [...]
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Advice on lessening impact of death?

  July 20th, 2018 by windydoor

No suicide methods or details regarding method will be posted here. I want to share my pre death plan and receive advice & input.

Context & reasoning

I’ve been suicidal even since childhood so I knew it was an eventuality. Now I am an adult with no dependents (other than my pet rats), and I am ready to follow through on my plan.

I know I do lots of good things for others and there are people who want (not need) me in their lives, but I hate being alive. I don’t see the point in living when it only benefits others. I don’t expect anything more from [...]
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My mom killed me

  July 16th, 2018 by izzuh

I know she’s the reason i hate myself. I wish I could just shut it off. but her nasty mean voice has gotten ingrained in me. whenever i tell myself that im not enough or that nobody cares, or i wont get anywhere in life, it’s in her voice.


the worst part about her lasting impression is like, most of the time i feel like im not even allowed to be sad. Whenever I would get upset or start crying it was always ‘stop feeling sorry for yourself’

any time i get depressed i just tell myself im feeling sorry for myself and i should stop because [...]
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  July 13th, 2018 by itsallsmallstuff

I want a healthy relationship. But part of opening up to someone is talking about wanting to die. Then this perverts the relationship with either a)flirting with the idea of a suicide pact or b)becoming its gravitational center. Has anyone else walked this line? Possibly even successfully?

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‘The Me Show’

  July 10th, 2018 by hyperballad

to start: I’m an alphabet soup of disorders. Three of those are bipolar, borderline tendencies (whatever the hell that means), and Asperger syndrome.


My closest support is my partner who is also financially tied to me. And I even feel her slipping through my fingers and this turning into an uncomfortable situation where we only live together because we can’t afford to live without any kind of plan which we currently don’t have and can’t foresee.

I mean. I can easily leave in a month’s time because my mother passed this June and has apparently left me a hefty inheritance. But my partner can’t. She is on [...]
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Dear Best Friend

  July 9th, 2018 by -mR-

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I haven’t been able to make things okay for you.

I’m sorry that I haven’t helped you ad much as you need.

I’m really trying to help.

And I’m sorry you don’t know what’s going on with me.

But I don’t want you to deal with my problems as well.

I’m sorry I can’t tell you how much I want to cut again.

How much I want to make myself throw up.

How I choked myself this morning until I couldn’t breathe.

How I look out the window and the voice in my head screams “Jump!”

How my mind seems to get more toxic by the day.

But I can’t tell you [...]
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He is gone…But was never really mine…

  July 9th, 2018 by FallingSlow

He is gone now,
No longer will I see his smile,
He was here for just a moment,
Silence fills his place,
He is taken by another woman,
She is beautiful and wise,
I was a fleeting moment,
Now, not even a thought in his mind…

He was just like every other man in my life. Beautiful yet toxic… Why did I love him in only the short time I knew him? Why couldn’t I just walk away. I screw up everything… Now I have lost 2 friends I hoped would be around for life.
I lost their child, a beautiful angel I won’t ever see [...]
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Reaching out.

  July 8th, 2018 by Piratemermaid

Everyone says reach out for help when you feel suicidal. A couple celebrities die and suddenly everyone cares so so much. What happens if you reach out and nothing happens? I’ve reached out. At 16 I told my doctor. “Hey, I don’t feel so great. My head feels heavy and I’m scared of everything and I thought it was just a phase, but I’ve felt sick for a long time now and I’m starting to feel like it’s not just my age anymore.” She told me I’d probably feel a lot better if I lost weight. If I attend her expensive nutrition classes and exercise [...]
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Should I?

  July 1st, 2018 by imsosorry2468

I feel like my time is getting close. It’s as if I am ready to go now. I know how I will leave. Just have to put a few things in place…

I am just not sure if I should leave a note behind. What do you think about it? would It help those left behind or do you think it would just make it worse?

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My problems

  June 22nd, 2018 by blue_pink

I’m new to this and I don’t know how to do this. So I don’t want to say my name but you can call blue. Friends are the main reason for me being on this site writing all this right now. My friends are not like normal friends. normal friends aren’t meant to ignore you whenever you try and talk to them. normal friends are meant to invite you places mine don’t but I don’t mind really. coming home on a Friday is worse than the week days my family hate me and I know that for sure. dealing with these problems on my own [...]
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Procitaj me/read me

  June 21st, 2018 by life aint worth livin if you got no love

All right, this is the end of the road, what you have been looking for all along. I know you wanna read this, so lets get started. This is both my last note and last letter. Reason it has come to this is what you have done to me. I’m sorry for ever meeting you in the first place and happy I am leaving a world where “people” like you exist. I have decided to end this once and for all. Why did you do it, that night? Why? What did I do to you to deserve this? After almost a year of my life [...]
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Done. Fucking done

  June 17th, 2018 by NumbExhaustion

So I want to die. Like honestly. I’m so done with everything. Mom’s banning me from watching Criminal Minds (Because it’s “corrupting my mind”) and my parents took all the locks off my doors and I really just want to cut. I’m tired of living here and I’m already sick of summer break. Goddddd. Just frustrated.

I can’t figure out my gender either. Like I thought I was agender but then what if I’m FTM trans? I dunno. I’m just realizing this now too. It’s not something I ever knew from a young age. Is that even possible? Also, can you be FTM trans without bottom [...]
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  June 17th, 2018 by tearsgirl

my dad is dying and i’m sad and happy for that. he always was a asshole with me and my mom and finally i’ll let me in peace but i love him. it’s so sad that he wasn’t a good dad. i wish he wasn’t a chemical dependent and a alcoholic of shit but i cannot change that. he even didn’t apologize for turned my life in a fucking hell. he manipulated me and he assaulted my mom. he deserve all the pain that he’s getting now but it’s not fair with me to see him dies.

xx tearsgirl

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  June 17th, 2018 by tearsgirl

i’m so disappointed with everyone. my best friend, my mom, my grandma, my dad and myself. literally everyone. people are asshole and this sucks. i’m so fucking tired. i visited my psychology yesterday and it was horrible. i just can’t take this anymore. i failed with myself. it’s clear that i cannot handle the weight of life. i just wanna disappear.



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I cant anymore

  June 15th, 2018 by ctrz

I’ve sat here, countless days, haven’t left the house, haven’t DONE anything, I have no purpose, nobody is willing to hear my cries, even my best friend, whom I thought was exactly like me cant see anything wrong. Im leaving to go to Japan in 12 days, and after that, when I get back, Im going to go see her and then, then Im done. Im done not having a reason to live, im done being hurt by everyone, im done with my deadbeat family who always bash on me. there is no way that im going to sit here and let this happen. so, [...]
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No One Cares

  June 13th, 2018 by GerbzBaby

No one cares about me or how I feel. My emotions and feelings are always pushed back in my family and friends minds. My sister hangs out with someone she knows I’m mad at for hurting me. Yet when she was mad at her ex I respected her wishes of not talking to him. If I’m suffering no one asks if I’m ok, if I need anything, no one talks to me. I’m so sick of this treatment. Everyone hates me when I react to my feelings of hurt or just don’t care. I don’t want to go home..

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******** Hypoxia

  June 13th, 2018 by kirlin.blair

If you let me fall in love with you like I want to, I’d do anything for you. I mostly want to massage you, eat you out, give you the best food and drink, and remember the smallest things about your personality.

I’d even help you enact a painless and undetectable suicide, if you were completely sure that’s what you wanted. It’s your right and I would never assert otherwise. I would bury your secret and cover it with a nonplussed veneer. I signed up for the whole woman with all her flaws and self-doubt, just so I could find joy in giving. Obviously I’d rather [...]
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  June 3rd, 2018 by Ree1222

I don’t like the feeling that I’ve lost. I’m overweight and it’s not easy finding a method for me. Not interested in a failed attempt and excuse me if all I talk about is wanting death because I never thought I’d turn out like this. I look at my few immediate family members, with a small hole in my heart by not wanting to be here. My body aches, my head aches, I have to work, no close friend’s anymore; it hurts to look my mother in the face because I know she wants the best for me, success in all but I know I [...]
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Why not Vanish?

  June 3rd, 2018 by BenzQoa

             Can I vanish?

Hello everyone, I believe you all know why I am here posting this. I feel empty, loneliness, hopeless. The will to live longer inside me has vanished, I do not wish to live any longer. I have friends, but none has really understood me. I have a wealthy family, but wealthy does not mean joy. I used to be a genius at school, but due to the current situation, I do not have the will to learn any longer. I cannot feel the joy inside me much longer. I just feel like it is worthless to live [...]
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  June 3rd, 2018 by TheBlackSlugInMe

I sometimes drift
Back and forth
Thinking that it’s alright
Then plummeting again

While a glance
Tells of hope

A daily friend
Sees your sorrow
But dismissed it
All the same

On the edge
I found reasons
To jump

But they’re not enough
So I am begging
Bully me
Kill my loved ones

So I can finally die

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