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is death a bad idea?
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All i want is to stop being a nobody in my own family, the last priority. Is it too much to ask for people to thank me from time to time?
I feel quite hopeless today.
I can be an asshole sometimes, and even though I don’t ever misbehave on purpose, sometimes i just can’t stop myself on time. Every single day i try my best to act accordingly, to do everything that must be done and what is, now, expected of me. However, sometimes i simply lose it, and act out. I don’t know why i do that, i really don’t. But it hurts others […]
I feel like mylife is falling to pieces and don’t know what to do….my boyfriend for 13 years hate me and want me out of his house….i have a child for him… she is 8 years old… the way he makes me feel, is like i cutting myself on the leg,belly and breast too…. i also drug myself untill i cant move just to be happy.
and how they’ve messed up their lives? -_-
I think I saw this site a long time ago when I was a suicidal teen, but now as I continue to be pushed further down a path of hopelessness, anhedonia, ever-increasing despair, loneliness/isolation, and abandonment I’m not sure where else is left to vent my thoughts.. I’m just a complete freak with no way of ever possibly becoming an actual person and I seem to be so terrible that everyone will always reach some threshold of caring until they basically give up on me. I feel like I’m just “damaged goods”, and that it’s impossible for me to ever be better.. I’m so unbelievably […]
yet cannot end life…
The angel with the crooked wings and crooked mind
You are the demon
You ask the angel to become your stopper
You are the demon
You said you will help to find the new wings
You are the demon
You left the lonely angel alone
You are the demon
Who close your eyes, mouth, ears
The angel is about to dissapear
thoughts on long distance relationships? i’m currently in one from like two months. major overthinker here. shit’s going fine i guess.
Everyone thinks me not wanting to talk or see people is rude and selfish but its been the way ive been since birth i have always been antisocial and human touch has always been creepy and i feel like if i was truly selfish i would just be dead right now but im suffering thru life just to make them happy for another day
I woke up…i woke up…i wasn’t supposed to wake up…but i woke up…
…sick, sore, deeper cuts, the red stuff everywhere. I can’t move my arm right. A f*****g mess. Stomach feels like i’ve been stabbed. That was supposed to be enough. I couldn’t see straight, let alone unlock the best option…
…i feel s******r than i did before…failed at this too. A few more cups of courage…
I hope the ones you think l*v* you, tell you they do…if not, bottoms up, i feel that pain…
#help
Free from this world and free from this life. My family remains the same pieces of shit that they are. I had a significant other that is broken from my pain. Now he causes my pain and he does it without blinking. It’s over I feel it now, and it sucks. I will be spending my time off in the hospital because yet again my elderly relative is sick and no one else will step up. I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. That world is crumbling on top of me and I can’t keep going on like this. I can’t try […]
I keep missing you because im so lonely. Even tho my family and friends try to make me feel happy, im still lonely. Its because its not you and i fall in love deeply in you. I can only holding the doll you give me and your jacket to make me feel calm. Denying the reality, closing my eyes, imagining you still here with me. Its kinda crazy to hear but thats what i can do to calm down myself, to stop this headache, to make me feel sleepy, to make me smile a little bit. Its enough for me to feel this way. Ive […]
Nothing christmasy or cheery.
What’s good for depressed ppl like us to watch?
I’ve been binging on a bunch of escape room movies lol
All I’ve ever wanted was to be “normal” and happy.
I’ve had depression since I was a kid. I’m middle aged now. I’ve lost hope that it’ll ever change. My mind is even worse off now than before -_-
I am the ghost of Christmas depravity. Don’t worry, you have to fuck up real bad to end up here.
I’ve made myself alone, always. Even when surrounded by people, laughing and smiling. What I’ve done is always there, in the background, separating us. If they only knew…
There’s no way to make it ok, or wipe the slate clean. I have to live with what I am, with the fear and shame of it. I am not safe to be around people – not safe to exist in the same world or breathe the same air.
I deserve worse than this. To be trapped with the knowledge […]
It was brought to my attention that i didn’t give enough detail about my attempt and how I went into my coma. I went through a horrible break-up that lead me to suicide, the guy told my to get ran over by a train on halloween night, the next day i decided that I didn’t deserve to live the rest of my life. I grabbed a bottle of random pills and took them all. I was rushed to the hospital but it was already in my system, they had to pump my stomach and i didn’t wake up till 2 weeks later I was placed […]
In the middle of the first hello and the final goodbye there is the painful words of “I love you”
I feel like if I bleed out someone will finally care that I’m suffocating in my own sadness. I just want to go to sleep and wake up feeling okay, the only person I ever felt something with left me. His words were like knives and killed me with an “I love you” but I was too blind in love to see the lies behind his eyes. All I want to do is lay here, Christmas doesn’t even feel the same. I can’t find the jolly spirt I felt when I was younger, guess thats what happens when you grow up right? I feel like […]
The reason I’m suicidal is because I’m a fictive in a DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) system. Basically, due to an extraordinary amount of childhood trauma, the brain I occupy formed multiple occupants in addition to myself. Being a fictive, specifically, means that my identity is formed based on a character from a fictional source. In other words, I remember being that character – I remember being in another body (and one of a different sex and specie, no less), in another world, surrounded by an entirely different set of friends and family, and so on, and even though I rationally recognize it all as fiction, […]