General

For general topics related to the site.

5

30

  November 13th, 2018 by Salesman

Always told myself if I am not happy by 30 I was going to kill myself. I’m not happy and my birthday is in 3 days.

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

Birthday terror

  November 13th, 2018 by Rainwatch

It’s my birthday in little over a fortnight, how I dread it, how I fear it, it’s gonna push me over the edge. When u make up your mind to end it u paradoxically become calm, it’s like a line from Pushkin I remember  “when a man has decided upon a dangerous but inevitable course of action his heart beats steadily but calmly”. Suicide is inevitable for me, last time I tried, over ten years ago, I used the pill overdose method, it’s not like in the movies, one pill consumed gently after another, bullshit, you scoop the pills into your mouth like a dog …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

For Gary

  November 13th, 2018 by clipped-wings

I wish I could do more for you.  This will have to do.

Sorry

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

Reasons Reasons

  November 13th, 2018 by WaterWorks

I started getting into playing guitar after I changed my mind and tried to make my life better. Then I hurt my thumb and now I wont be able to play and my thumb hurts like death. It’s a small thing right? But it’s small things like this that are starting to piss me off. Now, as it turns out I have no idea how to get my engines working again. So here I am again fantasizing about dying like all of you. Because the little the little things are piling up again, and I’m done being fake. This time I’m not getting help, I …

Processing your request, Please wait....
9

Omg. Someone help

  November 12th, 2018 by Grandiose

  • So, I just carved the word “die” with a razor into my arm. My boyfriend is closer to breaking up with me than he has ever been. He doesn’t even know about the fresh wound.
Processing your request, Please wait....
4

  November 12th, 2018 by Atintofgreen

Of all the coping mechanisms why is self destruction one of them?

Where does it come from? How? Why?

Idk…

Processing your request, Please wait....
6

My friend

  November 12th, 2018 by Hope Dream Love

I dont deserve him. He derserves so much more then me. For this story lets call him Cooper yeah i kinda like that name we’ll go with that.
Cooper and i met through a friend. His friend. My bf. After a while we broke up. He had treated me poorly. I know i cheated. I know i shouldnt have but thats no reason to control someone. To tell them to not talk to anyone.
So a few more boyfriends went by. All the same. Except they just broke up with me. And one day i asked Cooper. Just like that he was my bf. And it …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

  November 12th, 2018 by ravingbean

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

Relapse

  November 12th, 2018 by beautifulsinner

Relapse. a simple 7 letter word that i seem to know all too well. i got locked up again for trying to kill myself after a year of doing well, of thinking shit does get better. but it doesnt and i suppose i should have known that. im out now, doing better, but wishing that i did end up dead. life fucking sucks and although im not actively suicidal, i wish i died. i wish the pills killed me. i wish they didnt save me. i want nothing more right now than to slit my arms and bleed all the pain and frustration out, but …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

past getting better

  November 12th, 2018 by cohw77

i dont want help. i dont want kind lies about how i matter or how im worth something. i dont want someone to tell me that things get better. all i want is for someone to give me a gun and leave me alone to wander into the woods and blow my brains out in peace

Processing your request, Please wait....
7

A million little things

  November 12th, 2018 by unknownsoldier

I don’t know if any of you have been watching this show. It’s about a group of friends who are devastated when one of them commits suicide. He made it look so easy, climbed on the balcony and that was it. He was gone. Why the FUCK can’t it be that easy?

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

I Looked in the Mirror

  November 12th, 2018 by IrrationalLion

I woke up early this morning for no reason which is unusual for me. I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. When I did this something told me to kill myself. It was in my head and it was loud and persuasive. I backed away after a few seconds because I thought if I stood there longer I might’ve done something. I don’t know if I trust myself.

Processing your request, Please wait....
14

What is your reason to keep moving through your life?

  November 12th, 2018 by morado123

For the first time in my life, I now have a person who’s worth fighting for. No, I’m not talking about my family.

Love is such a funny thing. I was devastated by it just a few months before, now I’m asking for it.

He is kind to me. And.. funnily that’s enough. For us, I’ll have to endure whatever may come in my way, and succeed in life.

What are you guys’ reason to keep living? Who makes you feel worthy enough to do it?

Processing your request, Please wait....
6

I don’t plan on celebrating the holidays this year. Also I just don’t understand why the last ten years of my life had to be absolute garbage, when those were years that were supposed to be some of the best years of my life.

  November 12th, 2018 by noah5678

All Christmas time does is make me suicidal; same with my birthdays, which only get more depressing every year.
New Year’s Eve only makes me even more depressed, because all I can think of is how shitty the year was just like the other last several years of my life, and how it was nothing but the same shit nearly every day; and also the fact that there’s one more year down the drain that I can never get back.
I don’t plan on celebrating any of those this year, by the way.

I’m so confused. I just don’t get it. Teenage years/younger years are supposed to be …

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

Second message to AXYZ and EternalDarkness

  November 12th, 2018 by hope432

I have been following your posts and I can simply say that I like you and I want you to know that I often think about you because I realize that both of you are good souls who deserve to be loved and have many people in their lives. There was also someone on this website who mentioned the great times of the 90′, times when people were warmer, there were many friendships, everything seemed new, more alive and more innocent. I believe that a new era will come when humanity will experience great light in their lives.  We are in the end times, I …

Processing your request, Please wait....
5

Turnpike

  November 12th, 2018 by ravingbean

Today I was on the side of a highway helping my ride add coolant to the radiator of his truck.

All I did was hold the hood open, but while doing it I was looking at the oncoming traffic. Trucks. And I just wanted to bolt right in front of one. I was thinking about the incredible pain. Intense but (hopefully) brief. It’s not pain that I fear. I’m no stranger to pain. It’s staying alive.

I don’t want to mind fuck a trucker. I am not selfish. I just see opportunities to die everywhere I go.

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

friend groups don’t work out

  November 11th, 2018 by defeatedbyrain

I try to always see the good in people, I know people usually people aren’t actively trying to hurt me and feel like shit, but little by little they’re cutting away at my sanity. I am already a person with such low self esteem, I always feel like I’m a second-choice and that I generally annoy people even though my friends always try to convince me that they don’t think that way. But the thing is, actions speak louder than words. They can look me dead in the eyes and tell me I am the closest friend they have in the world, but then it …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

Pressure in my head

  November 11th, 2018 by MotionlessButNotEmotionless

How did I end up like this? Lying down in bed and thinking about all the possible ways to die. I guess I’m just too lonely. I literally have no one to talk to. I used to have two really close friends, but then the other one stopped high school and the other one got a boyfriend. Now there’s no one beside me. My family doesn’t really care since I’m eighteen now. I just want this pressure in my head to be away. I want to sleep, but my mind is too busy with all of this darkness and sadness. I’m sad, I admit it, but …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Addicted

  November 11th, 2018 by PatheticMale

I think I seriously need to get off of weed. I first tried it when I was 16 and about since I was 17 I smoke every day (for 2 years now). I tried some “harder” drugs too (alcohol, nicotine, LSD,ketamine,MDMA,cocaine,benzos… ye almost everything except meth and heroin) and I still do some to this day but only occasionally, recreationally to get high on some party and I dont really think its much of a problem. But my weed habit is.

The addiction itself isnt that serious (obviously its just weed..) some regular cigarette  smoker would probably have much higher withdrawal symptoms if they quit.  I didnt …

Processing your request, Please wait....
5

I want to hang myself

  November 11th, 2018 by Johnsmith8611

Has anyone failed at full suspension?

Processing your request, Please wait....