General

For general topics related to the site.

1

I’m back, sadly

  March 6th, 2019 by Urm8451n

It has been a rough year.

 

I don’t see my self moving any further.

 

in some ways, I’m already dead.

 

I wish I could have enjoyed more time on my own.   I had a lot of dreams.  I have had them, and now they flew out of my mind.

 

All I see around me are my darkest demons.  Will I be forgotten? who will remember my thoughts.

 

in a blink of an eye, I might do something stupid.  but I guess that’s how life goes.

 

You either fight the best you  can, or you just fall down and let everything go.

 

I’m dangling in between.

 

hope to do well,

Jac

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5

Thinking about blowing my brains out this week

  March 6th, 2019 by Parzival

Been a while since I’ve been on here. Thought I may get better but I’m a fool… You don’t just get better from Borderline Personality Disorder, Autism and extreme anxiety disorders. You just grow complacent until you snap again. I’m not going back to the hospital like I did 2 years ago. I’m sick of it I’m done being miserable. I’m legally able to buy a gun (scary the US laws are that poor) and by God I’m doing it. I can’t do this anymore I’ve been looking for help and all the therapists I’ve had are useless (7 in 5 years). I’ve been trying …

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3

dealing with suicide from the other side

  March 6th, 2019 by heartlessviking

This week I’m working on some projects for class that have to do with suicide. I don’t really know how to handle that. Even though I’m plugged into therapy, an hour every other week isn’t enough to process all the stuff going on in my life.

Things are going better, stress is on the decline. Sometimes I feel like I can see a light at the end of the tunnel of this set of classes, but there’s tough days still ahead. Tomorrow I’ll be spending 3 hours talking about suicide in class. Then over the weekend I’ll be doing 16 hours over two days dealing with …

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4

I’m not ok.

  March 5th, 2019 by beaubri

My grandma died today, she had a DNR. I’m not handling it well.

I just needed to say it somewhere, somehow.

I’m not ok, I’m not ok, … I’m not ok.

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8

Goodbye (not a suicide note)

  March 5th, 2019 by PatheticMale

Hey. I just wanted to say goodbye to everyone that remembers me here. I am quitting this side. I may still come occasionally to read some post or comment but I will try to not post here anymore. And I will try to come here less and less. It gives me momentary relief but I think ranting here about how much of a piece of shit I am only does more harm than good in the long term.

Ye I guess my biggest problem is that I am lazy af. I dont enjoy literally anything that requires even the slightest amount of work… and if I dont …

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5

Inertia

  March 5th, 2019 by basefree

How do you do something you know you need to do but are too afraid and anxious to do? How do I get that extra bit of courage to act?

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6

Meh

  March 5th, 2019 by shatterediris

I wish I knew more words, except I’m too much of a lazy fuck to do anything about that.

I could just start skimming dictionaries, or thesauruses, or even just reading a lot more books in general…. But again I am a lazy fuck.

I just kind of wanted to post something I guess, I almost cut again today, but happily I didn’t. (I almost did a bunch of other very stupid things to hurt myself too)

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1

  March 5th, 2019 by Tellmewhy

I feel trapped in this body, life, house, city and so on.

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2

Heavy feeling on chest

  March 5th, 2019 by noblube

I’m lost and can’t breathe anymore.

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2

  March 5th, 2019 by Tellmewhy

Do you feel that you have spent too much time inside buildings ( school, home, work ) instead of outside ( park, nature ) ?
Are you someone who gets bored easy?

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1

~Not Dead Yet? Still Dying*

  March 5th, 2019 by NobodyKnowsorCares

Hey suicide project… Im not dead..

Its been a year or two i think since I last posted here.
Nothings really gotten better. Family shunned me. Roomates despise me. Literally no current friends. Dropped out of college, lost my job. All that juicy negitive sh_it.

I also got into a hit and run with a pickup truck and doctors say i wont be able to ever do and “endurance” sports ever again from my long lasting internal injuries. Aka leg,foot,ankle, arm, wrist, lower back and thighs all have long term affects. So im bassically a cripple-to-be. I have seriouse mental problems that dont show. To top it all …

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2

I’ve gotten about as worn down as I can be.

  March 4th, 2019 by NiceGuy2001

A little over a year ago, a night in February 2018 to be exact, I realized I (a Gay man) had fallen in love with my Straight best friend. It’s probably the worst thing that can happen to Gay men.  In trying to make sense of it all, I stumbled across the following essay:

Falling for your Straight best friend is one of the oldest clichés in the gay book. And yet, time and again, it keeps happening. Maybe it’s the lure of the forbidden fruit that our innate human nature finds irresistible. Maybe it’s due to the emotional intimacy of the friendship. Maybe it’s because

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7

  March 4th, 2019 by Tellmewhy

I’m feeling like shit
Do you feel like you have wasted your life? If yes or no, why?

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2

Gone from this…

  March 4th, 2019 by Gary

I think about my death every day. Think about how nice it would be to have this all stop. Free from this daily barrage of crap. But, if I’m dead I won’t know the wanted feeling of this being over and done with. So, how do I find that magic peace I so desperately seek? I guess I’m stuck because I may not get to know that feeling because supposedly at death there is nothing. I suppose that I’ll be stuck in that limbo always looking for that peace…..but then again…if im dead I shouldn’t know anything else. Just off …

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4

Keith Flint r.i.p

  March 4th, 2019 by Rainwatch

Just heard about the suicide of Keith Flint. He was the lead singer of The Prodigy. People reading this in England and Ireland will know that group well, not sure how well known The Prodigy are in America/Canada. This suicide is fucking inexplicable, he seemed like the last guy you would expect to check out by suicide. I always imagine it’s the quiet, deep guy who takes his life but you never really know. R.I.P Keith and thanks for the music.

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14

Why are we still here, what’s to wait for?

  March 4th, 2019 by heartlessviking

Sometimes I get practical about things and wonder what humans exist for. Capitalism’s answer is to make money, but Automation is destroying the heck out of that. Some people have proposed that it is to perform meaningful work, again I return you to my previous statement; Automation has already taken many jobs, and will take more.

The biological imperative is the one thing that no one seems to be coming for, because they’re destroying all hope that having children is a productive and useful path. We don’t need more humans we need less, likely an order of magnitude less. Maybe there’s enough work for 800 million …

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2

Adventure?

  March 4th, 2019 by Lostlullaby

I’m leaving my country tomorrow to study one year in Germany. The beginning of something but not the end of my depression as I thought in my denial and gullibility. I worked my ass to get there but worked so hard I don’t really know o how to rest anymore. So I am so exhausted I can’t work a kilometer and I often fall because my legs can’t carry the weight of my body. Depression is clearly distroying my physical health and the pain is hardly bearable. Because my depression got much worse I lost a friends who could not bear it.  So I am …

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5

i’m in, i’m out, i’m in, i’m out…etc…

  March 3rd, 2019 by spookichick

someone on sp suggested that if i am ok that i should leave the sp community, never to return. the fact that i pop in and out sporadically and inconsistently, should indicate that my mental status changes are based on the impact of various triggers or stressors on my well being. so while i may not be suicidal when i come here, i know that i will never be totally ok. there is, in fact, no cure for depression; just learning how to manage it, realizing one’s limitations, and figuring out how to cope with it. so,  i would like to end this post with …

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0

Probably wont apply to you

  March 3rd, 2019 by VenusHope

Hi guys im planning on dropping out of school and becoming a private candidate which means i have to study on my own for A’levels. Just wondering if anyone on this site has gone down such a path and what were your results? Also, does anyone think it’s even possible for me to score As without relying on school and how do i even go about achieving them.

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5

Finally going to the monastery tomorrow

  March 3rd, 2019 by Black Holez

Wish me luck guys. I hope I do well as I am under observation by the monks if I fit their lifestyle. Part of me wants to stay with my girlfriend but part of me also wants to escape my own hell.

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