im going to kill myself. i dont know when but i can feel it getting closer each day. i just have this feeling of emptiness that grows as the days continue. im only 15 years old. a sophmore in highschool. i should be hanging out with my friends or partying right now or something like that, but no im in my room alone wanting to be dead. i mean its new years eve for fucks sake. every kid known to man is with all their friends. i have friends (kinda) but i hate everyone at the same time i sit in my room all day […]
The beginning of 2016 was when I got myself together and had my three beautiful children full time I was working as well. I shelters many people family or not and fed the mouth of people who talked bad upon me. I’ve never been the perfect mom sister daughter but I always made sure everyone was good and taking care. October of 2016 was when I experimented with a certain drug. No the drug did not ruin my life but it changed me as a person. […]
Hello everyone! I am a father (non-custodial parent) of 2 boys. For the past 8 years I’ve spent fighting I. Family court to advocate for my equal parental rights, as to ensure my bond with my children….Long story short…I lost. The mother proved to be to manipulative. Its funny because the more I fought to be in my children’s life, the more she fought to keep me away. There is really no way I can at this point, classify her as a human being. I’ve had countless, never ending, suicidal/homicidal ideations and the emotional Pain I feel is beyond this world!! To describe my pain […]
Well, I almost did it. I was crossing the line before the part of me that hates me stopped me. I deleted my previous posts about my intent for suicide because I felt that they were stupid, childish, poorly written and whatever else negative the other me wanted to come up with.
Anyway, I’ve been depressed for going on 5 years now. Long story not-so-short: my parents have had a volatile, explosive, violent marriage full of mistrust, lies, paranoia. My dad is a HUGE guy. Not in the fat sense, in the could crush a train between his fingers sense. So when things got physical between […]
I have always tried my hardest at everything I do, always putting in my best effort. Basketball has always been my thing I have been working on it for the last 5 years day in and day out. The thing is I got seriously injured and Basketball is done for me now. It was my entire future and now I dont know what else to do. At this same point in my life my girlfriend just left me and I got fired from my job.
I have nothing going for me anymore and I just want to end it.
I dont think there is any […]
I’ve been in a psych hospital for 6 weeks now. Tried ECT for 4 weeks, but I got resistant to it, wasn’t getting good seizures, and it did nothing to improve my mood. Now that’s stopped, and one more medication was added to the mix, dexamphetamine. It’s giving me more energy, but it hasn’t changed the “colour” of my mood, just the intensity. I still feel sad, just more intensely so, whereas before I was totally flat. If anything it’s made me more suicidal, as I now have more drive to actually see my plans through.
There is a very strong sense that my suicide is […]
Been very depressed. Few months ago I was called a bottom tier ****** by my fiances father. He doesn’t believe that we should be together because of my skin and social status. He also hit me and I feel so angry and low that I allowed him to get away with it. I’m a professional guy but he still doesn’t like me. I left a good job because I thought I found my dream job. But it’s been total Hell here and my boss is constantly demeaning me and making me feel stupid. I generally get along with people but she contsrantly degrades me. I […]
I was wondering something the other day I broke out with a massive amount of hives after holding my guiean pig i think im allergic anyway i was wondering if i was to swallow some of the hairs do you think i would get hives in my throat.my friends dont care about me anymore all my Christmas shopping is done they can figure out which present is theres im gone if not i will eventually use a boxcutter to cut my wrist or throat. I need to do this soon in two days as my sister is coming home and they are bringing company i […]
Nearly since birth, I have been subjected to human cruelty, this is part and parcel of being born into an unstable marriage to two emotionally unstable people. Only one parent was empathetic and caring, the other was cruel, destructive, violent.
Mother divorces father, family is plunged into grinding, relentless poverty. I’ve struggle all of my life to escape this trap. I have gone to school and amassed mounds of higher education debt. I have kept my legs closed and just worked and studied, like a mule, only to hit the reality of financial limits, racial limits. Human limits. People are not kind. People are cold. Cruel. […]
They say that the time make the things easier… But the only thing that time made is show how much I miss you, how much I like you… If could I would just go back in the time that use speak with me.
They this will pass, but every day this is bigger and bigger. Every day I just thing I could make the things right for us, I could be that guy… But I destroied everything, I made you hate me.
They DON’T say that even death is better than live like this. But I know…
I had no idea a website like this existed, but I’m grateful to have found it. I lurked and read many things here before deciding to sign up to post. I wonder if anyone out there can relate to my story? I wonder if anyone out there is my age, or older? I wonder if anyone shares my burdens? I wonder, I wonder…. I guess we all wonder those things… Anyway, here I am at 38 years old (I feel like the oldest on here) writing to no one or everyone about my desire to die via suicide. It’s not something new. There are moments […]
I know I’m young
Only 16
But there is so much pain
Can I handle one more day of this?
I’m all alone in this.
One more day of…
Abuse
Depression
Anxiety
Never being able to be heard
Its like I’m in the ocean…
Only an inch beneath the surface
Fighting for a breathe
Only to be pushed down further and further…
By the waves of eternal rest…
Take me into your gentle caress
This is the final step.
I was doing Carbon Monoxide in a sealed tent underground… I was just passing out and I crawled out and realized looking at the sunset… I want to live as much as I want to die… In other words, when life gets fucking hard I want to die as much I want to fucking live!! I fucking screamed and broke down. Every muscle in me was aching was saying what’s the point? Every muscle in my fucking body was telling me to stop. Every in me was telling me to stop and give up. And I said I can fucking do it… I know there is […]
Hello to all,
I don’t pretend to know anyone’s situation or desire to end their life. What I do know is that I have lost many close friends to suicide and that during several low points in my life I have tried to kill myself at least a half a dozen times. These were not cries for help on my end, and I totally went for it with the most purpose driven determination possible. One such attempt put me in a coma for several weeks.
So I can definitely offer advice, empathy, and even sympathy to anyone who may need someone to talk to. I don’t and […]
So, I am still here despite my efforts….but I am trying again…….hypotherima please be my friend tonight……in nothing but thin jeggings and top fingers that are becoming stiffer and stiffer and a mind that is slowly turing to slug as the rum and cold play on it’s mind….
I beg thee with all I am…let it be my time……..
I hope to not see another dawn…for that is just cruel
Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen.
How do you do? I’ve read many suicide notes and just registered an account to publish my own suicide note. Where do I start from? I guess from the beginning, eh. Well, I turned 22 this year on the November the 6th. Been severely depressed since 2. I had severe trauma and most likely resulted in brain damage which my parents aren’t telling me about. I have an intermediate stutter and I noticed I have a learning disability and throughout colleges and schools. I’ve been severely bullied on and off basis to the point I had to use deadly force and also been […]
I am coughing up blood. I don’t know why or how, seeing as I haven’t even really attempted suicide in awhile, but here I am coughing and vomiting blood. It’s not that I ate too much; I hardly ate anything. Maybe my body is finally ready to die. I didn’t even have to do anything. If I had known that just giving my body time to really fuck itself over would fuck me up this bad, I would’ve stopped attempting suicide years ago. Hell, maybe there is a God. Well, as much as I’d love to tell my parents that I’m really fucked right now, […]
i wish harry potter was real really exist , i wish fantastic beasts were real really exist , i wish magic was real really exist , i wish magic really exist , i wish wizards were real really exist
because reality is boring , mundane , and limiting limited
because real world is boring , mundane , and limited limiting
because real life is boring , mundane , & limited limiting !
reality is all about MONEY !
real-life is all about Money !
real-world is all about Money !
Life is boring , mundane ,
movies is better than reality real life real world !
novels is […]
I find that when I hear about others who are going to kill themselves, no matter how physically far away they are from me, I feel absurdly comforted. Like, we’re in the same situation and we’re going to leave it soon. We may even find each other afterwards?
So, for my own sake, is there anyone else here dying soon? I’ve been trying for the past week, almost, but I keep having to cancel my plans in fear of being seen and whatnot. However, I do know that I don’t want to see Monday. Who’s leaving with me?