I know its dumb but no one ever talks about this. as for me i am a religious person somehow and i dont need to mention my religion, but the thing is allll religions viewed suicide as a sin , as someone disobeying and taking away life, and i do understand that so very much but ,, what if one wants to die so so so much . its very sad to see one fighting themselves like this, for me i hate myself more because i want to die then wish to die more, isnt that stupid and pathetic. what is this way of living? […]
Rants
it feels gloomy and everyone is sad. you cannot mention being sad anymore cuz everyone wants to die and it sucks way too much. why are we all so sad? and the thing is when someone i care about tells me they want to die i understand them way too much that i cant convince them not to. same with ana my lover and one of my great friends have it and they dont want to recover and i absolutely get them. but they cant stay like this. wheres the magic recipe to fix this broken world.
For, how many days can I hibernate before people forget my existence? But would it really be such a bad thing?
People don’t really get it. It’s easy for me to put a smile on my face and tell people I’m fine. It just feels like hell dragging myself out of bed to do it. I get stuck in a situation of ‘no, I haven’t left my bed in four days, haven’t showered or eaten a decent meal but yes I’m fine, can’t you see the smile on my face?’ Lying is easy. Recently I feel completely unmotivated, numb, bored, tired and solitary. In fact, pretending to be OK is the only real relief. At least then I can feel like I’m worth something, others can […]
I think I’m going insane, I can’t think of anything but hurting other people and hurting myself. I have people I care about and I don’t want to disappoint them but I can’t get the thought of blood out of my brain.
I survived. The iron didn’t kill me, just made me ill. I texted all my friends to let them know I survived to their relief. Everything seemed to be okay afterwards.
Then, there’s today. I mean, yesterday was terrible because my father’s dog is seriously ill and had diarrhea. Since its in the house, it had a lot of crap everywhere that required a lot of cleaning and time. I was also sick after my attempt so that was added to the mess.
But, at least no one was fighting each other.
Today was a nightmare from hell. My father was pissy, I couldn’t stop crying, my […]
Every day is terrible, but today really pushed me over the edge. I can’t take it anymore. I’m going to try ODing on my iron pills and finally dying. I hope my family disposes of my body and not leave it there to rot because they’re some horrible people, I tell you. All rotten, all abusive, all evil people.
So, goodbye. This 18 year old is finally breaking free. No more nerve pain, no more mental illness, no more abuse. Nothing. Hopefully I’ll finally be successful this time. I can only pray.
so i tried because i was so tired and i couldnt care less about anything else, i dont give a fuck weather anyone would be sad or mad, i texted goodbye two friends and wrote the rest letters, one tried to stop me but i told them this is what has to be done. so after cutting many stupid cuts on my stupid leg i looked at my arm and got too weak to cut it open so i opened the pill bottle and ate it all. i was already dizzy from blood loss and fainted on the bathroom floor. a tiny while later i […]
Last night i had a party at my house with a few friends. I tried to get all my coworkers and friends there, and luckily for me most of them showed up. I kept bringing it up and reminding people that it’ll be my last outting. The last time I will really be out or see people. What they didn’t know was i was planning to kill myself after they left.
The party was fun. Lots of drinks and lots of laughter, so when everyone left I originally thought i was just over reacting. Until i tried to actually fall asleep. All i kept thinking bout […]
Why do I get panic attacks for no reason at all?
I’ve heard a lot of people make the statement that they were born in the wrong time. As if that’s something to be proud of. I didn’t used to get annoyed with these people haughtily proclaiming their belonging to a different era, at least not when I was a teen. But now, it pisses me off to no end. Because I now feel that every day of my fucking life.
I’ve only been an adult for three years now, and already I’ve come across a major problem in my biological code. To put it bluntly, I’m inherently backward, I have an innate fear of change, […]
I’d like to think I have a lot of decent qualities, but one thing I’d like to change about myself more than anything is my painful inability to communicate well. I’m terrible at articulating myself and having conversations, and it’s extremely frustrating. I can’t help wondering what went wrong during the time I was developing into an adult, but it’s my biggest insecurity and I feel so bad about it. I don’t think I’m fun to be around because I’m so socially awkward and I think it’s at least part of the reason the person I’m interested in doesn’t feel the same.
guess who fell asleep because of lethargy!! me 🙁 oh well, maybe there will be a better day…
fuck this shit fuck this country i hate my country’s educational system,, so many kids attempting suicide and no one’s doing jackshit FAST about it.
well, i guess i’ll just be another dead body in the morning. i hate living. i hate life. bye.. see you all in the afterlife…
fucking tired of humans,,, i hope i get reborn as a loved and pampered cat or dog because i just don’t want to think!!! im sick of using my brain!! even when people tell me im smart, im fucking dumb and fail tests and fail to pass my homework on time!! fuck this shit!! i just want […]
I had the most irritating debate about rape with this one person that keeps correlating two entirely different matters. He doesn’t have enough data to back up his stands and we keep on coming back on the non-relating matter.
This past few weeks felt really lonely and embarrassing. I just remembered yesterday how miserable my life is.
I walked outside at night while crying and nobody cared at all. How lonely my world is.
I cried in my room while cutting my wrist and I felt the emotional pain rather than the physical pain.
Right now I feel like I can jump from a rooftop or be hit by a truck. Even though I always feel miserable all these years, I feel like I have the courage to die now. I don’t really get why I don’t deserve a happy life.
Please let me die. Living another day […]
My child is relentlessly bullied by 1 black kid at his school. I say his race because it is why he is immune to any type of discipline, like suspension and so on. That one kid does employ of few other kids as his henchmen randomly, but he is the “man”.
Nothing can be done do to the Racial Equity Policies set up to insure BAD kids remain and good kids get punished. Assault, harassment on all levels including sexual, theft, constant intimidations, barging into classes, in the middle of class to deliver hate notes to my child, and so on. Displaying PORNOGRAPHIC images and videos […]
.. I’m so empty. Some talk to fill the space within. Some eat. Others listen to music. Maybe hang around with familiar strangers; go to drink and dance. My belly’s so full I don’t feel empty inside. So sleepy, so tired… soo alone.. I’ve turned 19 today. No longer a boy right? Still alone. Still afraid to be loved but oh how much I need somebody to embrace me. How much I want to embrace a girl and protect it. How afraid I am to love.. NO; I’m afraid of not being loved in return. I want to chain a girl and make […]
WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO ANSWER??
> I think about killing myself every day. Sleeping is hard when you know tomorrow you are going to feel the exact same.
STOP PRETENDING YOU CARE
YOU DONT CARE, ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS TALK ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND AS IF IT DOESNT HURT ME
(im emptying my emotional bank right now, my ex is asking me if im ok, vapid ****)
SHUT THE FUCK UP. STOP TALKING TO ME. EVERYTIME YOU TEXT ME OR SEE ME IT HURTS.
IM TOO NICE TO TELL YOU TO FUCK OFF, STOP TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THAT.
EVERY FUCKING TIME […]
Driving home from my psych doc last Friday my car broke down on the interstate. It cost $300.00 to get it towed to my mechanic (my doc is a 2-hour drive). That same day I received a bill for $3,500 for my last stay in a psych unit. This morning I found out the engine is toast. I tried to buy another used car and guess what, I’m $300.00 short for a down payment. I don’t know how much more of this I can take…
i wish i could die like right now and then id just be alright
im such an ungrateful fuck