Rants

3

Let it aaaaall out

Let it aaaaall out

  August 5th, 2018 by HollowBoi

I kinda realize recently how good it feels to bítch around letting off some steam, then a thought came up! people need to vent out more.

So i suggest you all to vent out all your frustration here, go crazy!

Write here all the shít you want to say, give me some juicy discussion.

Tell me how you suffer!

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6

Quick Vent

  August 5th, 2018 by avoidthatthinks

jealousy is such a fucking disgusting emotion. I just want to feel happy for other people and their accomplishments, because damn it, they’re good people. But I can’t help but feel terrible whenever I see someone else achieving an accomplishment, or getting something new or whatever it is.

I mean it’s so stupid to think that I’m getting upset over people getting material items, why do I feel so bad for people who get new stuff? I know that if I had said item or an item that could mean as much to me as it means to that other person, it wouldn’t make me any …

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0

breaking point

  August 4th, 2018 by Wrath_Hurricane

Hello. How are you? im great, really. The only thing a gave a shit was my job and its not about losing a job, being single for years or depresion, just that finaly loosing after giving everything i could and… I changed. When i remeber stuff that used to give me stress or sadness now feels like a funny joke. I can feel emotional or phisical pain as pain, but it is just so funny to me. Feel so free and energetic, and for some reazon people are trying to help me? telling me bullcrap like ,,try finding someone to talk to” oh, and the …

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30

Understanding Criminals

  August 3rd, 2018 by WanderingDreamer91

Intro

 

I’ve been waiting to put this up for a long time, but wasn’t sure when I should…

 

Um… I might ramble a bit here, but please bear with me. ^^;

 

Um, a quick thing about my family, from some earlier posts…

 

I don’t know how frequent or severe incidents in my family are, especially compared to other people, but my family would definitely be considered one of those dysfunctional ones at times, and when things go wrong, it can get pretty ugly. I’m not sure if I can think of a specific example, but pretty much everyone has issues with anger, and a lot of yelling and sometimes …

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11

Self-harm

  August 2nd, 2018 by yoonsin

Please, if you are considering self-harm or are currently self-harming, please quit.

Let me be an example, a warning to you all.

When I first started, it was a tiny little cut on my thigh, made merely to see how it’d feel- and I can’t lie, it was exhilarating to me. I was thirteen at the time and was enduring copious amounts of abuse from my parents, both physical and verbal, which had been occurring since childhood. It was a strain to my psyche and after that first cut, for once in my life, I felt like I was able to deal with all the pain that …

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26

Sigh… I hate my mom.

  August 2nd, 2018 by WanderingDreamer91

Sigh… I hate my mom…

 

I can’t really show pics for proof so I guess you’ll have to take my word for it, and I guess it’s up to you if I reacted wrong and if my mom sucks or not, but yeah, I’ll try to find enough time to post on this on a work day, I hate waiting to type out something important…

 

Also, no offense, but… I think Primal One posted like 15 posts in a row and buried some otherd including mine so I’m not sure if people saw them but whatever…

 

Here we go. :p

 

Me

“I want a girlfriend. 🙁 It feels weird saying …

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4

Suicidal again.

  July 31st, 2018 by strawberrycrown

For quite some time I’ve been really quite happy. I haven’t been thinking about negative things and I’ve been having fun too. But then I started feeling more left out at school again and starting to feel lonely or like I’m missing a person in my life. It’s 11:30pm and I’m very tired. I have to wake up in 7 hours then go to school. Im dreading this so much because of things that have been happening and how my friendships are AGAIN becoming more distant. One thing about me, is that I physically can’t deal with being lonely and being excluded – and that …

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0

Two Years Today

  July 31st, 2018 by despairsrayy

I finally pin pointed this anxiety I lie here with, and the sudden urge to Google your LinkedIn  account. It has been two years today, since I finally left you. Almost three years of your mental and verbal abuse. You would have become physical, you had shown signs.

I have been better than I could have imagined, two years down the road. I am with a man who truly loves me, and I to him. I had never experienced this love before in my life, it is true. Selfless. Unbiased. Intimate. Trustworthy. Cooperative. He cares for me in a way I have never been …

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2

What is it?

  July 30th, 2018 by ariusversea

What is it?

What is it about me that makes me lesser than?

What is it about me that makes it so that I can’t be as good as her?

What is it about me that makes me think of what she would have done, how she would have done better had she been in my situation?

What is it about me that makes me incapable of being her?

I should be happy. I have everything. Everything I wanted. Everything she doesn’t have.

Almost everything.

She has the grades. The natural talent. The recognition that she is in fact the best.

The recognition that I am, in fact, in second place.

And second …

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3

Relapse

  July 30th, 2018 by tired20

In high school, I’d cut everyday. It started when I was 14. I had no where to go, no one to talk to. I’d do it in the school bathrooms before school, just go all out. I’d wait for the bleeding to stop, put some folded up toilet paper over my entire forearm, use hair ties to keep it from moving, pull down my sleeve and go through my day. It’s all I could think about, and when I got home, I’d do it again. This went on for several years. Then, I met someone. Someone who got me to start eating again and stop …

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2

I hate myself

  July 30th, 2018 by dsemfodi

I hate myself. I hate my face, my body, my hair, all of me. I hate how I can’t be like other people. I feel so insecure with what others have. I hate how weak my body is. I got admitted to the hospital thrice last year and twice this year. I had gastritis and PCOS. I also had undergone check ups for my scoliosis. I’ve had many examinations and I’m still continuing my medicine. I feel sorry for my family especially my Mom. We had been struggling financially due to schooling and my medication. These past few days, I’ve been suffering from pain in …

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1

Ugh

  July 30th, 2018 by Sardonyx

I can’t tell if I was abused or not. It’s hurting me so much I can’t feel anything anymore. I’m ruining my relationship with my boyfriend and I’m pushing people away. I don’t even like being around them, it’s so shallow and fake.

If I could just know if i was abused I could get some help. I’m overreacting and probably deserved whatever happened to me because I’m not a good person. I’m a disgusting fat ugly freak who really just needs to hang off a noose

 

Love yall

Feel better

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4

I’m really tired.

  July 30th, 2018 by tired20

I’m so tired. Tired of feeling like a burden. Tired of thinking “I bet my parents wish they never had me. I’m the embarrassment of my whole family.” Exhausted from acting like I’m staying strong so my fiancé won’t worry as much. We all die in the end, so what is the point anyway? “to have fun, to love and be loved, to experience the world in and of itself and behold it’s beauty and nature” blah blah blah, it’s bullshit. We live to work in order to keep living which is mostly spent working and sleeping. From the beginning, my life has been shit. …

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2

I’m feeling like a zombie with no movitation to find brains even though I need brains to live

  July 29th, 2018 by sugarcoated

I have lost all movitation. I’m just coasting through my last year of school only barely passing my tests. This is where grades matters the most, but I’m just so fed up. I’m exhausted emotionally and physically. I just don’t care. Not only that, my friendship group has broken up. I have no more support from them. I barely see them these days. The only person that is supposed to be my “friend” always makes fun of me and puts me down, when she is bullying me I ask her to stop, I always do, she says she will stop, but she doesn’t. But I …

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5

yeet

  July 29th, 2018 by theironbiggo

uhhhh don’t come on here anymore but i don’t really know what to do. my girlfriend can genuinely do better, but she’s got the low self esteem™ so she doesn’t think she can. or maybe she does! not sure what makes me feel worse; her pretending to like me to protect my feelings or the thought that she honestly thinks i’m the best she can do. i hope she cheats on me. i wouldn’t blame her, anyone in her position would. im short and chubby and gross and boring and a complete fucking freak. im not exaggerating, she’s completely amazing and she’s settling for a

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5

If you can relate to my reasons+80%, feel free to reply:) or if you got something logical to say..

  July 28th, 2018 by longgone.bleeding

I don’t know where to start but I’ll just state points. I’m not being negative, I’m just being honest. I almost had 3 attempts that were so thoroughly planned these 2 yrs. I know that the 4th will be attempted with no reverse;)

1) I am too naive for this world. Meaning; my crybaby ass self-has never faded. Somehow it got worse. I am the weakest person to the point of not being able to function properly for at least a min.

2) It’s obvious that I have a mental disorder. I know that it can be managed if I had my mom by my side or …

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2

Nothing Left

  July 28th, 2018 by Brokentoi

If hating me makes you hate yourself a little less, I’ll do that for you…

I’ve long since outlived my welcome and my usefulness.

Precious little goodness have I contributed to this world; nothing to my own credit do I leave behind. Nobody here depends on me, all will be relieved when I’m gone.

I’ve nothing left in this cold, desolate place to hold me here.

I’ve lost it all. There’s nothing left now for me to lose, anymore.

There’s just nothing left. C ‘est la vie.

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8

Retail Hell

  July 27th, 2018 by WanderingDreamer91

I’m so tired of my freaking job… Sigh…

 

It’s just so demanding…

 

I work at Goodwill and here everything is already used and donated so everything is priced by stickers that can easily come off. o.o Then it has to be updated weekly as much as possible while old stuff comes off…

 

It’s hard to explain, but this can be really hard and exhausting…

 

For me at least, it’s a one man job too and I often even run out of stuff! Then like, I had to take a week off to spend time with my family and it was nice to get away from everything… but then of courde that had to make things a lot harder…

 

It’s often unhygenic too and I find myself sneezing a lot from thr fust and other stuff…

 

Then they got all these “values” messages blaring repeatedly every day in the store, and all this crappy music I’m sick and tired of hearing of…

 

This job is honestly one of the maon reasons why I want to kill myself, though I also seem to have no real life friends or even a future so there’s that too.

 

I still live with my family at 27… my parents got divorced when I was in middle school as a teen or something, however long back, but like last friday for a few hours midday my dad and stepmom were fighting too which my stepmom has also been married to someone else before and has kids so yeah… just neverending remarriages and fighting, god I hate everything…

 

I’m diagnosed with autism too even though the symptoms don’t really fit me. I’m not literal minded, I had to learn poetry in 7th grade before I was even diagnosed as a high schooler. Then doctors thought I had ADHD as a child and so on…

 

I mean, I guess I don’t really get along with people but…

 

I just don’t understsnd why it’s only me in my life and all these other jerk offs are able to be considered completelt normal even though some of them make me feel like crap.

 

I had to get a special program called DARS to help me because when I tried myself about 5 years or so after graduation and getting fed up no one would hire me… ot was hard too because I have social anxiety, least over formality… it just seems so… arbitarily judging, it scares me…

 

I can’t seem to quit my job either because my dad says it would cost me money next time to help me…

 

He literally does not give a crap about abything, I hate him…

 

You ever feel like people only help you because they have to, materially, and to get something out of it or something?

 

I mean, he’s physically abused me before… it still hurts to remember the pain of that…

 

… I just want to destroy society sometimes and never have to work again… I don’t even have dreams anymore…

 

I mean, I almost kind of want to be a therapist, maybe, but…

 

God idk I’d rather just die soon…

 

If I ever die on all of you then I’m sorry…

 

Edited

 

If being an adult as far as liking comedies go is to like stuff like Soith Park and The Big Bang Theory like my family does, then I’d rather not having anything to do with it!

 

I can’t stand all that “rude and crude” humor, it’s terrible, every character annoys me in these sitcoms, none of them are relatable or sympathetic at all…

 

And I find so many things about being an adult really complicated and hard…

 

Getting a license, getting a college degree, getting a bank account and debit (I have that set up though), learning to drive, how real estate works so I know how to get my own place, etc…

 

Dude, no one has ever told me how to do anything. ._. Doing everything on my own is hard…

 

I kind of want to be a kid again… except I don’t. I don’t want to be taken care of anymore and I don’t think the nostalgia of old games or show I grew up with matter, I can just use stuff like youtube or dowbloading an emulator for that, usually… and I have done that for a few things a long time ago. :p

 

I kind of miss my self… When I was lot happier and I didn’t know how muxh the world sucked and how superficial everything seems…

 

Sometimes I just want to live in nature and know how wilderness survival works…

 

Man, idk… It’s not like instinctual to know how society works, right? It’s something you learn and gdt taught to you somehow, or do yourself…

 

It’s just… ughhh…

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2

I resent the person that I am

  July 26th, 2018 by TheDyingEmperor

By far my greatest fault is my inability to control my own habits and to set up a daily routine. All I want to do is smoke weed and play video games. I don’t want to leave my room, I don’t want to do anything productive. It took me a month to put the uniform from my ex-job into the washing machine. A procedure that took about 5 minutes. This might cost me a bunch of money, yet I was so powerless over my own day-to-day stuff that I didn’t do it.

Sometimes I sit down and tell myself to stop the self-pity and try to …

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2

Hope

  July 26th, 2018 by dsemfodi

Hi! I’m new here. I’ve been very curious on the Smooth Passages that was in a book called My Heart and Other Black Holes and it led me to this website.

I think my depression all started 2 years ago. You may be thinking, I was so strong that I’m still alive up to this time. Well I tried. I’ve kept myself busy but the pain only deepens. I never told anyone about this. I may have given them signs yet nobody cares. The first year was very hard for me. I keep having insomnias at night and then this black shadow overcomes me and …

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