Rants

2

Happy?

  July 19th, 2018 by Chanty

Happy. That’s a word I wish would visit me more often. As I sit here and write my “feelings” or whatever, I think about the “happy” moments of my life. You know, when life looked colorful and pretty.
What changed?
That’s something I would love to know.
I was never miserable. I was always smiling and I did what I was supposed to.
Maybe that’s where I went wrong, maybe I should’ve rebelled a little.
Maybe I should’ve experienced more things.
Maybe, then, I wouldn’t feel so wretched and miserable.
I keep thinking that I will run out of tears, but they just keep coming.
And you would think they would leave …

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1

My Heart Feels Heavy

  July 19th, 2018 by LoneRed17

There’s this emptiness inside of me that I can’t shake, I’ve been suicidal since I was 17. People kept telling me that it would get better, but things got progressively worse as I aged. I’m going to be 21 soon and I have no job, enough money to buy a gun and a family that will be heartbroken if I die. I’ve wanted to die for so long now, but the sadness my family would feel makes my heart weigh heavily.

I feel a constant stream of hate, shame and dispair whenever I remember my past. I’ve lived a long life of awkward situations and disappointment. …

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10

No way out

  July 18th, 2018 by TheDyingEmperor

I genuinely feel like I cannot escape misery. The source of this misery is myself, but I’m so fundamentally broken that I cannot improve.

I wanted to kill myself since I was 9. I was getting bullied, I had no friends, my mom was in a terrible shape mentally and was an incompetent parent. Dad doesn’t exist (even my mom doesn’t know who he is).

People don’t want to spend time with me. I’m not a likeable person, in fact, I’m somewhat of a dickhead actually. I’m that guy that will disagree with you just to start an intellectual debate. From my experience, people fucking hate that. …

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4

Adulthood

  July 13th, 2018 by lynndo

Tomorrow, July 14th, marks my 18th birthday.

I don’t know whether to think of it as a fresh start or a milestone, but it must be significant right?

It could be a new beginning. A new beginning to my mental health? A reset to my attempt counter? Perhaps a new beginning to my relationship with myself.

Or a milestone. For awhile I didn’t think I’d make it to graduating high school. But there I was, under that white tent, getting handed my diploma. Then I thought I wouldn’t make it out of adolescence, to my 18th birthday, 1 month later. But here I am, with only 4 hours …

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2

I try. I really do

  July 13th, 2018 by hyperballad

I’ve seen so many people, visited so many hospitals, tried so many rx combos, gotten so many different diagnoses and just none of it honestly helps and there is very little tethering me to this planet anymore and I just wish it could be in my hands to decide to let go. No matter where I go or what people say to me to convince me otherwise, I’m left feeling like a stranger on the fringes everywhere I go. I’m alone. I’m deeply unhappy no matter how much I try to change it. And I try so hard

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2

I tried to kill myself back in October

  July 12th, 2018 by izzuh

Took a bunch of immune suppressants for a disorder I have. My body basically stopped producing all white blood cells, bone marrow, potassium, you name it. I was in excruciating pain after about 15 hours and when my roommate found me she took me to the ER. Once I was admitted they gave me an anti-nausea and pain shots and it was the most blissful moment of my entire life. My roommate was furious, nurses were staring at me with sad eyes, and the doctors were telling me it would be a long and painful death, but I should be gone before the end of …

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7

Suicidal in Seattle

  July 11th, 2018 by CMxide

Unlike most here in situations that are capable of being resolved with some expertise and grit, my situation is not. I am literally dying at a faster rate than most. Yes, it is health related. I am not one to slowly wither away, I won’t run from death anymore. Death always catches up anyway. Death is the only true exit from a doomed world that thrives on misery. Life is not precious. It is a fucking nightmare.

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2

‘The Me Show’

  July 10th, 2018 by hyperballad

to start: I’m an alphabet soup of disorders. Three of those are bipolar, borderline tendencies (whatever the hell that means), and Asperger syndrome.

 

My closest support is my partner who is also financially tied to me. And I even feel her slipping through my fingers and this turning into an uncomfortable situation where we only live together because we can’t afford to live without any kind of plan which we currently don’t have and can’t foresee.

I mean. I can easily leave in a month’s time because my mother passed this June and has apparently left me a hefty inheritance. But my partner can’t. She is on …

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3

Reaching out.

  July 8th, 2018 by Piratemermaid

Everyone says reach out for help when you feel suicidal. A couple celebrities die and suddenly everyone cares so so much. What happens if you reach out and nothing happens? I’ve reached out. At 16 I told my doctor. “Hey, I don’t feel so great. My head feels heavy and I’m scared of everything and I thought it was just a phase, but I’ve felt sick for a long time now and I’m starting to feel like it’s not just my age anymore.” She told me I’d probably feel a lot better if I lost weight. If I attend her expensive nutrition classes and exercise …

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2

OCD: A Cruel Joke

OCD: A Cruel Joke

  July 6th, 2018 by ShiSui

Have you ever heard of this type of obsession?

My obsession is about constantly questioning my sincerity of what I say, do, and think. I’m really bad with examples but it’s pretty much fixating on my intent towards almost everything, whether that intent was sincere or if I’m just faking it. I can’t convince myself otherwise I just keep doubting and obsessing if I’m doing/saying/thinking something for the reason I initially intended. Idk how to explain it any further because I’m obsessing whether this is a sincere post with the intent being to find others like me or if I’m just looking for attention. That’s really …

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2

I don’t know how to be happy

  July 5th, 2018 by HamboneFakenamington

How do I stop being so lonely? Why can’t I connect with other people? Why am I so alone? I just feel desperately alone. I don’t have any real friends, any close friends. People that consider me as ‘their spiritual brother’ said to me things like ‘you should go outside to feel better’ or ‘if you wanna kill yourself so much, do it right now’. Never real support, never being a real friend. Just this.

And yeah from time to time I get close to nice people and I feel like I get to be friends with someone. I don’t stop being sad but at least …

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11

Do you agree/relate with this?

  July 5th, 2018 by ShiSui

Okay, so I was playing Metal Gear Solid V, it’s a video game, and there was a cutscene where my character is escaping from a guy trying to kill him and there’s also a couple other random characters running too.

Thats the background here’s my “point.”

A random character falls down and grabs my foot and says “please save me I don’t want to die.” (He ends up dying, he was shot)

When I saw it I wondered, “why wouldn’t you want to die?” “Why are you struggling so much?” “What’s so valuable in your life that it’s worth you not wanting to die?” I know, I know …

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1

i really dont feel like being around anymore (vent)

  July 3rd, 2018 by em88

im so stressed right now. im always messing up stuff and it really sucks. my best friend backstabbed me because i did something really stupid that i shouldnt have done. my girlfriend is growing distant. i have other issues too. a close friend killed herself about a year ago, i miss her a lot and i hate the act of suicide but i feel like i might have to resort to it. i dont think ill ever go through with it though, im staying alive for my parents, the friends i have left, and my cat. i think i might end it all soon though …

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1

Venting

  July 2nd, 2018 by SJ529

I’m an ass, really? Are you fucking kidding me?

After what i’ve done for you. I hated calling you kitten, it feels like a stupid thing to call someone and yet i did it because you liked it. You told me you loved it and that it made you all blushy and red.. And now i found out from a mutural friend that you’ve actually hated it. Are you fucking kidding me? You told your friends but never bothered to tell me?

You also hated calling me daddy, but i never told you to call me that. You started calling me that, day one of our …

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3

Child

  July 1st, 2018 by OnlyFurther

I wish I could go back to being like I was when I was a child: alone, yet completely unaware of loneliness because I didn’t experience anything else so everything was fine.

If only I had stayed alone.

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8

Where I’m At

  June 29th, 2018 by Inconceivable

This has nothing really to do with suicide, so I don’t know if it belongs here, I’m just ranting.

Things just happened, it starts out small and it feels coincidental, So you shrug it off. But then a few days later a different thing happens, and because of that last thing that happened you convince yourself to shrug it off.

But then various OTHER things start up and you build more and more to a point where you want to lash out. But then something happens to someone else that’s so much worse you don’t feel like your problems equate, But then eventually you find yourself at …

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2

Words

  June 29th, 2018 by somesadgirl

It starts with a word.

The word that pokes fun at your appearance, actions & feelings.

It might seem like nothing & you treat it as nothing.

But what happens when it’s all you hear? All the harsh words that later become actions.

Those actions catch the attention of the wrong types of people that take advantage of your vulnerability.

You can tell them “no” you can tell them to “stop” but they won’t listen
or they pile on more words of harshness.

The words that not only follow you wherever you go but repeat when looking in the mirror.

How do you make them stop? How do you make yourself …

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3

Going for the blind shot

  June 29th, 2018 by Urm8451n

There are financial problems incoming, that occur due to my mom’s chemotherapy.

There are new negative interview results coming for me.   There is the rich dad out there doing nothing to help me.

My so “used to be”  best friends are at this moment over the beach having fun with my ex girlfriend.

I have nothing at this moment to support me,  there is nothing at this moment to assure my future.

There is just that blind shot of succeeding this bachelor degree in Electrical and computer engineering.

I’m in my second year, and I’m the youngest student.  Even tho my age, it is impossible to find others who …

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2

I wanted to share with you that I’m not doing well

  June 28th, 2018 by Urm8451n

I wanted to tell you that I’m broken inside.  I wanted to cry but I didn’t  succeed to.  I should’ve shown you that I have feelings too.  Explaining my life to you or anyone else was too hard for me to do.

I haven’t tried to be a stranger, I just didn’t want to acknowledge I’m a victim.

I always took a step back from you or others, because that is my way to dodge the hits.  I wish you could’ve seen it through my shades. I hope I’ll find someone like you along my ways.

I’m alone, but I’m not cracking up anymore.

I’m sad, but this time …

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6

EVERYTHING IS A LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  June 28th, 2018 by careforme

I wake up every morning to see what today will bring all it brings is sadness everyone treats me like shit and I cant defend myself people say its going to be okay but are you the ones who are kicked out and might have to start sleeping in cars I don’t think so I say fuck it all everyone lies to me all the damn time why should I even continue to be on this damn planet someone answer that to me.

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