Category:

Stories of Hope

I want this. I WANT THIS . I WILL MAKE IT CUZ I WANT THIS

by Urm8451n 12/23/2017

written by Urm8451n

FUCK YOU TOO.
No , I never really bothered to look for you,
It was all I had from the start
Just a few rocks in hand, and a real big heart.
I cared so much for others, but missed the whole idea of them being there for me.
Maybe it was me,
Or they just didn’t care for it.

But in the end, there is all I have had,
Mom is down, and my hands are bared.
Perhaps I should have outsmarting it ?
Age 5 is great for a start

Get ready before anyone knows you,

Be prepared to defend yourself,
Learn how to make it […]

12/23/2017 1 comment

Just a post

by wanderer 12/22/2017

written by wanderer

Well ,since I’m back here . It’s either good news or bad news . Not like anyone I know irl reads this . But I gotta just say . I am thankful for you guys (both my irl friends and sp friends ) thank you for being there and supportive and enable me to go through this tough time.

This isn’t what I called a faked positivity post that’s trying hard to lighten up the atmosphere here .

Honestly ,I am scared of the future and what my past can hold me back . I keep feeling this and that ,keep thinking about what others opinions of […]

12/22/2017 1 comment

Not Suicidal Anymore

by Draknes 12/21/2017

written by Draknes

Okay,Yeah the heading just gave away the fact that I am not suicidal anymore. But then why did I sign up for this depressing site?

Because I want to tell my story to someone who gives a fuck! And wont classify me as a Creep or Liar or Stupid or Attention seeker! There is only one person who understood me and she cut herself too. Cutting! I was never able to do that because I couldn’t bear my mother’s face if she so it.

There are two people who had a hand in me getting over my depression and I can never ever thank either of them. […]

12/21/2017 3 comments

I found hope, some things are unexpected

by Jombo 11/24/2017

written by Jombo

Hello guys! I haven’t used this website in 2 years and seeing my older posts are quite a strange experience. I came here in 2014 because isolation and depression pushed me to the edge, rock bottom, or whatever. Started feeling depressed 10 years ago! It’s my Sadniversary and I thew up my birthday cake. My birthday was wednesday and I had a violent indigestion, because why the hell not. Well this feeling persists, yet again. The reason I’m here today is because even if I do feel this pain, this need to die, this very heavy weight of self shame and being worthless, it is […]

11/24/2017 2 comments

Fairy tale

by ThirdClassWorldCitizen 11/9/2017

written by ThirdClassWorldCitizen

Previously: The seventh

I don’t like happy endings. I don’t like sad endings. I don’t like endings!

I feel terrible when I am at the last few pages of a book or in the last few episodes of a series, especially those whose characters I can relate to or whose stories I wish I could have lived. Close to the end I have to face the fact it’s all fiction, the product of someone else’s mind, that the characters and their stories will forever end with a period or with the credits and everything will vanish — OK, there might be sequels, but at […]

11/9/2017 4 comments

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by quaero 11/2/2017

written by quaero

Why is the lust of life so attracting? What do I get out of it? I get nothing. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Any reasonable person would give it up at the first sight of awareness towards it. It is a useless time waster and suffering giver. When it gets too much I leave it and follow some of the practices i learned and which i trust. they always help me. they have so much truth in them, they are very much reasonable and i have substantial reason and evidence to follow them. i start feeling good and start improving. but after a day or two, its, […]

11/2/2017 2 comments

Virtual Reality ( VR ) , Artificial Intelligence ( AI ) , Transhumanist / Transhumanism , space travel , mutations : to escape this boring reality , boring real world , boring real life !

by niki 10/28/2017

written by niki

Virtual Reality ( VR ) , Artificial Intelligence ( AI ) , Transhumanist / Transhumanism , space travel , mutations : to escape this boring reality , boring real world , boring real life !

Human’s imagination is better than reality !

Movie / Movies is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Game / Games is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Comic / Comics book is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Novel / Novels is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Science fiction ( sci-fi […]

10/28/2017 2 comments

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by quaero 10/21/2017

written by quaero

I’m in the make or break position. I can go back to “their way”. or I can keep trudging on mine. Any sane person would take theirs hands down. There are millions of students preparing years after years for the jobs i left. If I had a clear mind in the beginning i would’ve saved seats for at least 2 of them. Why do I hate society so much? Social structures are dead and i just cannot endure being bound. I have zero problem in the specifics. if a ‘social person’ comes specifically to me to talk about a specific thing i would have zero […]

10/21/2017 1 comment

So you survived.

by vooder 10/20/2017

written by vooder

It’s been nearly 5 years since you crawled into that basement expecting to die.

You’re 26 now (an age you swore you’d never see). You’ve met some cool new people over the past 5 years. You graduated college, got a job, and moved into your own apartment. You adopted a cat, and she’s become your best friend. You’re off all those meds now, and you feel stable, comfortable even. You haven’t self-harmed in 3 years. Your parents are finally proud of you.

You’re still lonely (and getting lonelier with each passing year). You’ve lost some old friends, due to distance or death. You had a mental breakdown and […]

10/20/2017 4 comments

I am healing

by lonewolf23 10/18/2017

written by lonewolf23

My father was holding me back in life and I hadn’t realized this until now that i moved out. I feel happier these days, happier than I’ve ever felt in a while. My insecurities are quickly vanishing within a matter of weeks. I had forgotten how social the real me was. Surprisingly I’m quite impressive with the ladies. I can sleep better too.

My fathers’ anger has empowered me to take a leap of faith into unknown territory but to my surprise I’m doing just fine living in an apartment by myself….more than fine…I feel awesome!! I will sacrifice a mansion for a healthy mind any […]

10/18/2017 4 comments

Give me a chance

by uniiicorn 10/16/2017

written by uniiicorn

I know a lot of people may choose to ignore this, if so, i hope you skip breakfast the next day (kidding). However, im hoping that there is one person, just one, who hears me out. Im not asking for a reply, though feel free to do so if you wish. I think i’ve blabbered enough, so let me get to the point:

Im losing my mind.

Every depression help center i go to, or any article i see, i see in bold:

YOU ARE NOT ALONE, IT WILL GET BETTER. HELP IS EVERYWHERE.

I wish i could believe the nice people down at ‘the guardian’, but frankly i […]

10/16/2017 18 comments

Last post here, time for a goodbye :’)

by Urm8451n 10/11/2017

written by Urm8451n

-introduction – This is my last post here, not suicidal though.
I believe I have completed a shift from the young boy I was 4 years ago, to the man I am.
I wanted to share some experiences and conclusions of my travel through agony, happiness, loss, and faith. I wanted to give you other users, the tools I learned, from others.
This shall be a post with my final words to this community.

I have completely ditched social media, removed my accounts from internet sites, stopped playing video games, focused on my own personality, and my family’s health state.
Today I accomplish to sustain […]

10/11/2017 10 comments

I wasn’t prepared…. were you ?

by Urm8451n 10/10/2017

written by Urm8451n

Good day you all,
This post will include; panic attack, co op failure, overcoming love.
Added bold words to make reading easier and able to jump
edit: Also added conclusions down the page.

start Today I had a great day, studied, and got few compliments, perhaps even started few new social relationship here or there.
It is really nice to start a new page at a university.
But…
change in events I went back home, a friend contacted me, he asked if I wanna go out with him like we did two days ago. Back then [8.10.17] he said “I want you to know that I completely respect you, […]

10/10/2017 2 comments

Had my first tdcs today

by lostallhope001 10/9/2017

written by lostallhope001

Hi guys, not sure if everybody knows my story and who/how I am

I am a 23 year old female who was born and lives in Belgium. But my parents were born and raised in Morocco. I am a narcissist with social anxiety/socially awkward type of person. So I hate myself for being narcissistic and deep down I always felt it is not okay to be so celf centered. I hated my own behavior and I hated it even more that my bad behavior (using others etc) didn’t give me any feeling of remorse or guilt.

Past friday I had an intake for tdcs treatment with the […]

10/9/2017 8 comments

Loneliness… don’t u feel it?

by Urm8451n 10/8/2017

written by Urm8451n

I have been standing outside the house for a while, letting my thoughts hit hard on love and company.

I really miss my ex, but not because she was someone who gave me trust. But because she was something to hug, hold and have sex with.

It’s easy to remember our time together as lovely, but in fact it wasn’t as so. therefor I decided to quit it, and even then I’m still missing that hug.

I feel like play Chas game against “time”, as if some kind of persona, shaped like a standing clock, is over thinking me at a chess game, and slowly winning.

I wish I […]

10/8/2017 3 comments

Broken Psychopath

by MonsterNamedKira 10/7/2017

written by MonsterNamedKira

I haven’t been honest with a human being a single time, in probably 6 years. I dont understand why others dont lie constantly. I guess others don’t really fit into the sick fuck category either. Honestly though, the deep emptiness inside me seems a little “Extra!” Just a constant void ripping every way inside you, constant and cold. I cant imagine actually feeling anything anymore, it seems impossible. My feeling has been turned off for only a few years and yet they seem like surreal fairy tales you’d tell a tired child at night. But dont misunderstand when Im allowed complete isolation from others, some […]

10/7/2017 9 comments

Standing through the waves

by Urm8451n 10/6/2017

written by Urm8451n

Lately, with my mind and experience expanding, I learn to accept more burden and horrors as a road obstacles.
It is as if I’m riding my car through a bumpy road. Sometimes in encountering a fallen tree, or just small pockets.

I learnt to survive by my own, and followed the importance of knowledge. Right now I’m following my plan to use academic education as a “way out ticket”.

I will try to concur the highest summits man has ever seen, only to let myself the relief to live quietly and alone , perhaps allowing me to build a normal family (unlike my ancestors).

I know the road, […]

10/6/2017 2 comments

Getting better

by Rosebrider 10/6/2017

written by Rosebrider

A while back, I posted how I wanted to kill myself. It’s been a month since I made that and things have gone better. Although, the thoughts have come and gone since then. It’s just a matter of me getting use to everything right now. I still question a lot about what the future has in store for me but I really hope that things will turn out okay in the end.

Here’s to hoping I make it until December.

10/6/2017 3 comments

Relapse.

by Eccedentesiastsoul 9/25/2017

written by Eccedentesiastsoul

5 days ago I lost 136 days of being clean of cutting. It might seem like nothing but it took all of me to get past those 136 days. When I broke them it wasn’t like always. Right now, I feel so shitty about myself and I’m in a really bad place. I got through the last school year taking vitamin supplements because the doctor told me to do so. I stopped them about 2-3 months ago and for the past week I’ve been feeling so down and tired all the time. Last night, I slept for the longest I have ever slept since school […]

9/25/2017 11 comments

Sin.

by Eccedentesiastsoul 9/22/2017

written by Eccedentesiastsoul

“Wanting to die, is a sin”

Our English teacher read that line. I was in shock. I could hear people whispering and laughing. No one seemed to care. How could she say that? How could the author of the book write about that? How do they want people to admit that they have been wanting to die when they are being taught that it is a sin? Telling us that, would only make us wish we were dead already. We have already got the sin, haven’t we? Why wait around and collect more sins by thinking the way we do? Wanting to die isn’t a choice, […]

9/22/2017 3 comments

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