For those who have passed on.
Turned to bitter sweet memories, tales of days gone past.
Open minds and empty hearts, for love it seldom lasts.
Hopes get washed away by tides and dreams fade fast to dust.
Empty promises, long lost trust.
How many times has it all been tried?
We see, we reach, we stumble, we fall.
But somehow we always survive through it all.
And as each night turns into a new day, I hope you’ll find it in your heart to stay.
just wanna say hey im here and hi!
I entered the room not expecting him to be there. He was sleeping in the chair, I shook his knee to wake him. Then I saw the gun and a small pool of blood. IÂ looked at his face then saw behind his ear the little bloody hole where a bullet must have gone in. He wasn’t sleeping, he had shot himself in the head. Is he dead? Do I touch just under that hole in his head to see if he is alive? I can’t, I can’t, I can’t touch him, I don’t want him to be dead! My thoughts went to the little […]
I am so lost and every day is a struggle. I have been suffering from deppression all my life and I am now 28 and a married mother.
what has kept me going is the thought of how my family would fare without me but it’s starting not to work. Recently someone has started stalking my husband and I, whomever it is is convinced I’m ruining my husbands life and I feel like this may finally be the last straw. The only people who love me are my husband and kids so I’m trying to hold on especially for my husband because he lost his dad […]
I feel like i’ve finally hit rock bottom. I’ve lost so much, so much that was so close to my heart. I’m tired of disappointing people i love, and being disappointed by people i love. My ex has finally had it with my crazy self. He can’t handle it anymore.So he once again left me and broke my heart. 2 years of putting your all into somebody and never actually had a chance.Not to mention he first left me for my step-sister……. I have uncontrollable anger, and the minute i act upon it, i immediately regret it. I basically pushed him away by my actions. […]
It angers me so much when I see everyone taking life for granted. I lost so much in the past 5 months. I lost my cousin to suicide May 2, 2011. My mom raised him. He turned into an older brother role. I feel like I lost my brother more than anything. I lost my nephews and niece because Ricky’s wife no longer talks to us. We are a family divided. Events like this bring you together. Not in my family. It tore us apart. Rumors, […]
How is anyone to say that suicide is wrong? At the moment (2011), I am 18 years old. I have been causing myself pain since I was four. I would bite myself until I would bleed, or do other related things. First time i tried killing myself was in the THIRD grade. That means I knew from an early age I hated life. Abusive fathers, dead brother, sadistic mother who enjoyed manipulating people including her own daughter (being me), rape victim… There are very few things I can say have honestly made me happy, and they didn’t last long. I have tried everything. Therapy, medications, opening […]
I’m not sure if any one reads this stuff. I did notice there were not many comments on posts. But it feels like it would be good to let go. So here goes.
I really messed myself up. Gave myself cancer, a bad liver, weak kidneys, etc. I have been living in hell for two years battling this. I just don’t think I can any more. I want to stop fighting. Give in. let go. I want to seperate from this mortal machine that can house such pain and sorrow.
I don’t know if giving up qualifies as suicide, so i’m not sure I should be here. […]
 I have been alone my whole life. my dad killed himself but told us he was doing it. my mom remarried and yeah that guys brother abused me sexually, my mom knew and let it happen than mad me move in with the man when i was 14. im 30 now. I have tried and failed at killing myself over the past 16 yrs. im a single mother. but i get little to no joy from my kids. I love them but the pain i Indore everyday out ways the good they bring. I have never been loved by anyone person. my life has […]
So… for those of you who know me months ago, I’m back. I didn’t log on to talk or help anyone, since I couldn’t. I tried killing myself months ago after I couldn’t take things anymore in my life. I tried the method that I talked about and mentioned, but things didn’t go as well as I thought. I ended up having to take months off to recover from my failed attempt. It was hell.
I wrote something really log midway here, but decided to make it shorter. 950 words was too much. lol. Those who don’t know me, here are some reasons why I wanted […]
It’s been three days. I have been much happier, new things have happened, but still I like the idea of everything looking gloomy and dead throughout our [The Suicide Project Pessimistic Humans] (if we can call ourselves human). Among us is people with the worst lives, the most fucked up minds (including myself and Rogue). We have many different mental/psychological/social and whatever things that they [family,friends,doctors,anyone] calls disorders. What it really is…. Is us…….
Rogue Shadow is the conscious in my head. The one that shows me the way to the light. He helps me and speaks to me. Though, I don’t hear him anymore. He […]
It’s been three days. I have been much happier, new things have happened, but still I like the idea of everything looking gloomy and dead throughout our [The Suicide Project Pessimistic Humans] (if we can call ourselves human). Among us is people with the worst lives, the most fucked up minds (including myself and Rogue). We have many different mental/psychological/social and whatever things that they [family,friends,doctors,anyone] calls disorders. What it really is…. Is us…….
Rogue Shadow is the conscious in my head. The one that shows me the way to the light. He helps me and speaks to me. Though, I don’t hear him anymore. He […]
Get to hold my first born child. I never got to hear him cry or see his beautiful face. It hurts when I see parents with rowdy children in the streets, that my boy will never run rings around me when I desperately need to just get in and out of the shops. I hate the fact my house isn’t covered in new borns clothing and baby toys.
People keep telling me it was for the best (if they’re polite) and he’s happy now. No. He can’t be happy! The happiest, safest place for anyone is in the arms of someone who loves them. But he never […]
I lost my father, my best friend, May 12 2010 — life has and never will be the same. I’m surviving but it’s a struggle each and every day… I would have gladly taken on his pain. Even if you think no one cares, someone does. I don’t even know you…and I care, I love you for the simple fact that you are a human being as am I. There is hope, there is a brighter day… you just have to hold on. Sending positive vibes to all those who read this. However long the night, the dawn will break.
“Forces beyond our control can take […]
This is a poem I found online a while back… and I edited to fit. I am not sure of the author.
“A gun shot rang out in the afternoon hours of May 12, 2010… where there was no one to hear or at least, acknowledge.
But that bullet ended the day and began… the long sleep of my father, my best friend.
I tried to find a note, I tried to find the bullet, I looked and looked. I thought it was important to find something, anything… And then one day I realized that I had found the bullet, it was lodged in my heart.
This bullet can […]
ok, I just dont know what the hell to do.. Ok I’ve never told my story on here but I think I’m gonna do it now.. so one year and seven months ago my grandmother died. She was seriously EVERYTHING to me. She was the only person I could tell everything to and she was kinda my best friend. There is no word to discribe who our relationship was. Â when she died (of canser when she was 63) I was broken. But I kinda didnt understand it. I lost half of my family.. cause she was the only one who made me keep in touch […]
Began thinking of how much my relationship with my dad changed ever since he started beating me over little things a few months ago. I tried hugging him one morning extending my arms towards him. He got out of the way and walked off. I wanted to hug him goodbye when I left for school. Still teary eyed but not crying yet. Maybe I should try hyperventilating until I have a panic attack. That’s always fun.
Rogue was back one day and went away the next.
I downloaded 10 apps of depression check and 6billionsecrets.com and took the tests and posted crap. Nickname was suicidal16yearold […]
This is not just the title of a great movie, but the thought that runs through my mind constantly. I’d be better off dead and just constantly pray that God will agree. Every day is a painful struggle, not a new start. It’s the beginning of MORE pain, disappointment, regret, and dealing with consequences of your failures. Brighter days will not come as long as I’m here on earth. I’m convinced of that, because as long as I’m on earth, that means I’m still alive.
Thursday, January 13th. 2011.
Atleast for a week now it’s been going on. The dreams. Dreams of stress. Dreams of the worst things my mind can think of. I’m far too young to feel the way I do about alot of things, but that’s how it is. These dreams are showing how I try not to feel. In these dreams, my mind is being jolted. Over and over. For years now I’ve felt no sort of deep love, no sort of tenderness. Any sort of love I recieve, true or not, I can’t feel because of what’s happened. It shouldn’t be this way. […]
My best friends, Leighann & Sean, age, 18 died December 28 of a drunken car crash.
We’ve known each other since kindergarten, people talk about how they remember us being inseparable. We would have to go to the bathroom together or we cried, if we wern’t partners we wouldn’t even participate at all & when one of us got put in “time-out”, the other would throw a fit, just so they could go and sit in the corner with me or her. We grew up together, still inseparable. By the age of 14, we were one of  the most known people in our neighborhood, for fights, […]
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