Category:

Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

2 weeks worth of journals just for you.

by RogueShadow1281 9/26/2011

written by RogueShadow1281

DISCLAIMER: THERE IS TOO MUCH TO READ HERE HAHA, SPENT TWO WEEKS WRITING THIS AND IT HAS MY DEPRESSED STATE OF MIND INSANITY LONELINESS AND EVEN A PANIC ATTACK!!!

So many thoughts…Â

Filling my brain.Â

The dream about my dogs and snapping a dogs neck.Â
The thoughts of the videos I watched.
Â The woman dying in the bathtub, drowning while tied up. The video game that may have caused noises in the night, nightmares, paranoia, and other paranormal mishaps. I blame my mother for that nonsense, but whatever.
I read Maximum Ride today, the whole book of Angel which is only 300 pages, about 82 small chapters. I […]

9/26/2011 0 comment

I am 18 and life DOES get better!! (My Story)

by CarouselDreamer 9/25/2011

written by CarouselDreamer

I’ve been struggling with Major Depressive Disorder, anxiety and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder for about 3 years. I was hospitalized two years ago for obsessive thoughts, major depression and anxiety. I had homicidal and suicidal ideations for a long time. I hated school. Hated all those pricks in it. Along with the faculty and the injustice of the school. I researched the history of school shootings, and Columbine interested me the most. I could relate so much to Harris & Klebold. Their thoughts, plans and everything. I got to thinking: “Well I hate school. I hate the injustice of the school, my classmates and everything.” I was […]

9/25/2011 5 comments

Loss of a friend

by msteele0327 9/25/2011

written by msteele0327

So my ex took his life about 3 months ago and I still can’t get over it. I can’t sleep. I have night terrors or dream of him and honestly would just rather be awake it’s less painful. I’m not sure people realize how taking your own life leaves people. I will never be the same person I was before he took his life. I have a sadness that will never leave me. I feel guilt, regret, and sorrow that is unimaginable. I have love and anger towards him. I have so many emotions that I can’t handle. I don’t think this […]

9/25/2011 2 comments

A Instant of Weakness

by Desperation57 9/20/2011

written by Desperation57

The other night I had an episode…I started to feel like the pain was taking over. Sometimes I can take a long shower and have a good cry and it releases enough tention to come back, but… This time it just seemed to open up my mind to other options. I got out and against my best judgement began to drink and drink and drink… The tears were to much and the hurting in my chest was crushing… I grabbed my keys and jumped in the car racing down the highway. Luckily within the hour I had come down enough to realize I should go […]

9/20/2011 3 comments

Why Am I So Ready To Die?

by Raymond 9/18/2011

written by Raymond

I drove home last night and all I could think about was crashing. Â Getting it over. Â Just ending everything. Â I’m not happy; I have nothing gong for me at the moment, and I think if I were gone I would be over the pain and people could get on without me.

More and more I’m like this. Â There is someone I love, but I can’t be with them. Â It’s driving me into more depression, and one day I might not be able to say no. Â It’s been a while since I tried to end it all, and the older I get the easier it’ll be to […]

9/18/2011 1 comment

Welcome back, sucker… (my clinical death)

by whatthehell 9/17/2011

written by whatthehell

Since i am back to this shithole again, at least i will share my experience. I recently attempted to suicide (don’t ask me what i did- didn’t work anyway), but unfortunately my best friend (not so best anymore) found me soon enough and took me to a hospital. Some random doctor brought me back to life (or hell to be more accurate) and now i sit at a computer, digesting the success of my failure. Those bloody doctors are so damn good these days…..

Regarding what actually happened while i was â€žon my wayâ€œ- nothing. Don’t remember anything specific, no tunnel, light, dead relatives/friends, […]

9/17/2011 4 comments

Lone wolf running free

by MonCheri 9/15/2011

written by MonCheri

Once upon a time there was a person who fell into a hole

Feeling unloved and alone they almost lost their soul

Recovery lead down a very long trail

Some friends couldn’t handle it and decided to bail

The clock ticked in process but eventually being able to heal

It was never to late many hands outstretchedÂ and they began to feel

Some encounters were rigorous and difficultÂ

In times like this it’s hard to remember it wasn’t your fault;

Don’t fret or worry sweet angel close your eyes and imagine that I’ll kiss your head

One day I will come to tuck you into that warm, soft and gentle bed

Being a lone wolf is […]

9/15/2011 4 comments

Suicide on facebook

by RogueShadow1281 9/11/2011

written by RogueShadow1281

Did anyone see my post on a page called suicide. Where I wrote to go to suicideproject.com, did any of you choose to go to it, cuz it seems like there’s a couple new faces…

9/11/2011 0 comment

Thatsphucked.com

by RogueShadow1281 9/10/2011

written by RogueShadow1281

Been watching the most horrible videos ever recorded including pain Olympics. Why? Because I’m curious and mentally fucked up. I’ve seen a woman drowning while tied up, it happens for 5 suspenseful fucking minutes. Saw shootouts, a cop shit to death by what looks like a M1A1 Carbine, old World War II era weapon. There’s also the suicide of Ricardo Lopez and other shit. SP administrators, in case I have broken any rules of whom I haven’t read, well sorry just showing what a suicide looks like and imagine the look on your families faces when they see an eyeball strewn across the room along […]

9/10/2011 6 comments

saved

by Lightning 9/9/2011

written by Lightning

not sure where to start. my parents took me to sunday school when i was real little, but i never really understood anything i learned. i stopped going, and in middle school i stopped believing in christ. one of the biggest mistakes i ever made. in october 2009 i was going out with a girl named bella. she was, and is to this day, the most beautiful thing i have ever seen. what got me was her eyes. she had deep, intense green eyes. and such a sweet voice. no matter what i was feeling, she always made me feel happy. loved. i loved her […]

9/9/2011 3 comments

Loss, Heartbreak, and lies

by Mickey 9/6/2011

written by Mickey

Hi. I am only 14, and people keep telling me that it’s just part of being a teenager, and being in high school. Sometimes though I don’t think so. This is only some of the stuff that has happened.

I moved to a small town year before last during the summer (so I had no friends for a summer and the majority of my 8th grade year), and let’s just say all the people around here have known each other since they were little, and most of them look inbreeded. But then I met people and Â I (thought) met the most amazing guy ever…until his ex […]

9/6/2011 2 comments

No more blue roses

by blind.cinderella 9/5/2011

written by blind.cinderella

It s a very beautiful day. It s neither too hot nor cold. The summer is ending.

It could have been a very sad day though. But i promised, actually i gave a lot of promises since Sunday.Â and I am very bad at keeping them. This time I am going to try really hard.

I was so close. Even though i don t remember most of the things that happened that night. I remember it should have been an incredible evening. Before i went out i saw a picture of my (now ex best friends) having fun on the seaside. They post it on the Internet. I […]

9/5/2011 18 comments

help me

by someonesad 9/1/2011

written by someonesad

hi im 13 Â and id just like some advice.Â

umm i used to have a pretty normal life until three years ago when my family got pulled apart by a youth protection thing. some of my other family members called them because my mum was drinking and heavily abusing me. shes stopped the drinking but the abuse continues not physical but verbally. i now am notÂ allowedÂ to see my family and it may not sound like much but itsÂ extremelyÂ hard!Â

I’veÂ tried killing myself multiple times. Â i cry like everyday andÂ every-timeÂ i try to talk about it i get shut down, mum goes into poor me poor […]

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9/1/2011 1 comment

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If Anyone Cares.

by Kitty 8/30/2011

written by Kitty

my parents divorced when i was an infant. and i can still remember the boyfriends my mom had to follow. always fighting. we’ve moved so many times. mostly because of them. cause i definitely wasn’t getting into trouble until i was aged 13. always had to make new friends. just to leave. and the process has happened so many times that i feel it has fucked up my current relationships with people. sometimes when i was in middle school, my aunt was murdered. in a small town where everyone knows each other. sad right? the person that killed her was only kind enough to leave […]

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8/30/2011 14 comments

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Gah

by Jasminexhelpme 8/28/2011

written by Jasminexhelpme

So i took 40allergy pills on purpose obviously . its just been so rough i really dont give a shit any more say blauh thats stupid why werent you knocked out cold?!?!?! allergy pills make you sleepy idfk! okay but what ever on one hand i want to live because of certain peopl on the other im just tired of shit!!!! my family !!! my grandma my best friend just died & my father the reason i was living to see him again died also ! with in 7 months !!!!! what the fuck!!! i just like to swera and th […]

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8/28/2011 2 comments

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All about timing

by riiowop 8/24/2011

written by riiowop

I was going to write a story like so many before me detailing my previous suicide attempt and how I failed at even that but my story isnt worth retelling.

My life has been one of deprivation, whether it was food, clothes or an education Iâ€™ve missed out on pretty much all of it. I did get my state funded high school certificate though, yay me. Essentially Iâ€™ve reached a point now where im unemployable, I have skills and abilities and an intense drive to succeed in whatever I do yet with these attributes still no one will give me a chance.

Online Zolpidem no prescription

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8/24/2011 1 comment

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Not Afraid to Die

by glittergirl 8/20/2011

written by glittergirl

I am not afraid to die. I do think the only reason I’m still alive is because I do not want to hurt anyone else. Otherwise I would just give up. I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up. I am so tired of being unhappy. I’m tired of being in pain. It all seems hopeless and pointless and I don’t know what to do anymore.

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8/20/2011 4 comments

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Hanging by a Thread

by LOLfailz 8/19/2011

written by LOLfailz

Hey, I just want to let somebody know my story so here it is! Also I may need someone else’s opinion.. When I was 13, I tried to hang myself and it almost worked, Â but I was using a belt and it must’ve snapped because I blacked out and woke up 10 minutes later. Anyway, I’m 16 now and I really want to get it right this time. So my question is… What do you suggest I do?

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8/19/2011 1 comment

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I Was Nothing

by Chelsii 8/16/2011

written by Chelsii

I thought I was nothing once…
It seemed I was a small, insignificant part of the world, and when I died everything would keep moving forward as if I didn’t ever existed in the first place. My hopelessness… my struggles… they were all too much for me. I was ready to die, not knowing what was on the other side, but hoping it was better than the hell I was living.

I was two years old when my parents divorced. I was the daughter of a 24 year old Sunday School Teacher and a beautiful 18 year old High School Graduate, but others in our community […]

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8/16/2011 18 comments

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Headaches are back

by RogueShadow1281 8/14/2011

written by RogueShadow1281

i choked and the headaches and sensitivity at night to sound are back but at least I’m helping someone learn how to suicide properly. I’m a 16 yearold boy with a brain filled with information “Not for the weak or faint-hearted” like the ranger handbook I got that is close to worthless but still okay. I know more than him about the cartoids even though I don’t know if it’s an artery or what, probably, but I do know from common sense that if you block it you knock out and I do that on a nearly daily basis. I went a good 3 weeks […]

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8/14/2011 26 comments

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