I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die help help help please please please please anyone anyone nothing hurts anymore I feel kinda free help me
Trigger warning for self-harm.
So. As the title says, it happened again. I did harm to myself. And… somehow I don’t know why. No. I do know why.
I did it out of some stupid reason, not even worth being mentioned, but it’s so weird. I knew I didn’t stop, no matter how often I said I did. I never actually stopped and I don’t think that will be the case in the near future. So it will continue.
It will continue? Is it even a real solution? I mean, it’s not. It’s not a solution to my problems to self-harm as soon as they occure because I […]
i would love to first start off with my appreciation for this Website, no matter the good or the bad side doesn’t matter either way. All of us are here with situations/issues any type of motive you might say behind our pain, problems, suffering. We come here to heal and cope with our daily life experience we live in. I have to give my thanks to those who reached out to me. And also the stories I have read here. It was an eye opener for me in many ways. I always come here when I’m at my weakest point. I don’t like way this […]
I always thought people who said they could hear things or see things were full of shit…..I mean I suppose they are technically crazy in the moment but those things they see or the things they hear are not actually there and if they are it’s usually distorted but the victim DOES in fact hear and see these things because their brain is playing tricks on them. It has more to do with the biology and less to do with the mystical as I used to ignorantly assume those people were talking about. I used to think these people just wanted to see things like […]
It’s the contrast for me
Summer is right around the corner, the weather is hot, the skies are blue and mosquito’s they somehow find their way in to your bedroom. It’s that time of the year when having a good time is to be expected with fun outdoor activities like: going to the beach, hitting the mall, organizing a barbecue, drinking and eating way more than you should.
The way summer is often made synonymous with having a good time is exactly why i feel even more depressed. Now waking up to bright morning light shining through my window and birds chirping at 6 AM reminds me […]
I can’t believe how old I am now. 37. My suicidal thoughts started when I was 8. My life was hard and abusive. It’s not like that now but I had already died inside a long ago and I just keep inhabiting this shell.
I was smart enough not to bring a child. I’d probably would have been an absent mother with occasional outbursts of disproportionate rage and pass this poison on to my future generation.
I wouldn’t advise everyone who has a bad day or a few rough weeks even, to do it but
If your life is objectively horrible
If the meds don’t […]
I have a strong fascination for the dreamy, irrational, wonderous, obscure. Fantasy worlds, unreal colors, indescribable sensations, mosaics emotions.
These things exist clearly when we’re dreaming. But sometimes within reality as well. When listening to music, looking into someone’s eyes, the sky, patterns on a rock. As well as any art form really. I try to live in this world as much as I can. It’s quite easy to when the thoughts of reality are absent. The reality we consider and agree on is very rational. Strongly structured and absent from any color.
I always feel as if I’m on another planet whenever I listen to play […]
I’m so sick and tired of living this nightmare that is my life. I have been deprived of all happiness and feel nothing but pain. Life is a terror and bad things keep happening to me. I don’t feel safe at all. I’m not even me anymore. My mind is deteriorating and I have trouble thinking straight at times. I feel extreme, unbearable anxiety that makes me feel like I’m dying. I loathe myself and wish I never existed. I wish I had been fucking aborted at least, goddamnit. Things will never get better. There’s no way out at this point; it’s too late to […]
I’m on my lunch break. I can feel myself breaking down little by little. My job is simple. Really really really simple. But for some reason it’s hard for me. I’m broken. My stomach hurts. I can’t eat. I think my medicine is also making me drowsy. Nothing is right. I can’t do this. I’m broken and I can’t do this. 9 hours of hell 5 days a week. I can’t make it. I just don’t know what to do.
I don’t wanna keep living this life with these thoughts. If nothing changes, I’m out
Are humans the most dangerous creatures on this plane?
They made fun of my letters.
G – “that looks like C7.”
O- i remember writing pages and pages of os. They looked like 6s. On the plus side i can make a perfect circle now?
They still trigger me. I cant not remember. It hurts when your own parents laugh at you.
If she ever wants to come back into my life she should have to pass a test. A test shes sure to fail but would prove a lot if she didnt.
Name every mistake youve ever made:
It’s not the pain that gets to me, I’m somewhat numbed to that, it’s the hope that keeps me going into unpleasant situations. I think that I haven’t been honest with myself about desireable outcomes. I tell myself I want to move on, but do I? I am seriously bummed that my (possibly former) employer didn’t reach out to me today. I started applying for new jobs, already got the first rejection back, and I’m remembering how much I despise job hunting. It’s all pleasuring unattractive people, I know that it’s not supposed to feel like prostitution, but trying to talk a company into hiring […]
I always am curious to know if things that happened to me effected who I became as a person.
I don’t get to go back and live my life and change one thing and see how I would have been different. I had a rough childhood. But I really did my best to change that. Would I have been the same person regardless? I was molested as a child by a friend of my parents many times. But I never have a conscious thought as an adult about this. Yet every professional says these things matter. I don’t know.
I am hoping the shock treatment I am […]
my imagination is getting darker and darker by the minute. I don’t look back. Because I’ve already experienced the good and bad. I’m imagining myself being the one being in the person place at the pov. Of these videos that self indulge myself into. Im empty inside. Trying fill them. With whatever my demon’s are sayin. I don’t fight them no more. More like accepting them in the process. I don’t know anymore. I put myself into this. I and me only. I don’t like to play the blame game. When your used to things that don’t kill you. It makes you stronger… The stronger […]
This is Anthony. He hangs out at the park and bangs his drums.
https://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Anthony-4.m4a
Screw the world, bunch of pinhead motherf*ckers running this show.
Mass shootings. Inflation. Cyber attacks, corruption, racism…fossil fuel, global warming…assault rifles, and oh yeah – fucking COVID – conflicting mask guidelines, “Karens”, Instagram, Facebook and Twitface, boo yah… Space Force, Hamas and harass and harangue and hate…bullying, beastiality, baseball…murder hornets and pick your poison from the six o’clock news horror show…
I don’t know. I don’t care. Listening to this cat was the […]
My girlfriend, well ex girlfriend, broke up with me about a week ago. I’ve had relationships in the past where i have been broken up with and i thought i loved those people but this one hurts so much more. Her reason was because she felt like she lost her self worth, not because of me and she said that i deserve the world but she needs to focus on herself. My last 3 ex’s broke up with me for pretty much the same reason. They all said that i was great and it’s not my fault but all i can keep thinking is what […]
A lot of people will just abandon you at your worst. Sadly true reality.
my ex was right, I am useless and nobody cares, not even my friend. I’m sure my friend is getting tired of me and is sick of me, and I can’t blame her, she has much better friends, she’ll be ok. I’m sorry that I waste her time (not her words).
Only reason someone would care is out of pity or they want to make themselves look better, like himself.
I just want him to stab me to death and all will be over.
I don’t want anything.
And it will make me happy that failures like me are dead. I know he’d want that, […]
I can’t do this. I can’t let go. I don’t know how other people do it but I can’t. Even before the past was just too much but the recent past is even worse. Years and years being the butt of that joke and knowing it deep in the back of my head no matter how hard I tried to trust. I don’t know what to do. Feels like being a living corpse infested with maggots and vultures ripping away at the rotting meat. Not that anyone gives a crap. People have their own problems they need to deal with and should be caring about […]