Swallow Swallow Swallow
Innocent you think,
Swallow Swallow Swallow
The pills make you sink,
Swallow Swallow Swallow
Your eyes flutter shut,
Swallow Swallow Swallow
“Why didn’t she just cut?”
Swallow Swallow Swallow
Innocent you think,
Swallow Swallow Swallow
The pills make you sink,
Swallow Swallow Swallow
Your eyes flutter shut,
Swallow Swallow Swallow
“Why didn’t she just cut?”
Weird, huh? Mom has not succeeded in giving her kids as much love, support, security, happiness and wants to leave them to someone who can and step out. It seems I’m the source of all the suffering of my children, their father, my ex-boyfriend. My family doesn’t back me up. Even at work, I’m told I’m not that great. Yep. I suck.
That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. To give my children the feeling of worthiness and love I never felt I had. But I’ve failed miserably. I have a daughter whose room and […]
Does slitting ur wrists work, is ther a Gud chance of success?
But I need to get it out. Saying it aloud makes it too real. I can’t handle it if it’s that real… So I found this site and maybe if I start getting it out here, it will be easier to handle.
When I was little I, about 9 or so, I don’t remember for sure my memories are muddled and broken up, I had a babysitter. I don’t remember how long I went there. But I remember I didn’t like it there. I felt awkward from the moment I started going. Well, she had a daughter who was about 13 and a boyfriend who was always angry. […]
Teach me how to die.Teach me how to lie.Teach me how to get over myself.Teach me your tricks.Teach me your plan.I wanna know!How are you all so perfect?
If any of you have seen my post “Ohh..life..” you’d know how I’m feeling right now, but it’s getting incredibly worse as the days go by.
My ex John, just got out of Juvy, and he can’t tell me why he went in the first place because the judge said so, and it’s irritating me, hella.
My ‘friends’ all leave me, so I’m always alone.
I’m getting a referral because I was late to the bus by like, a minute.. \:
I sit in my room, all day, just crying. I started cutting again.. and it’s getting back to as bad as it used to be. I’ve been thinking […]
I thought the feeling of loneliness would go away if I spent enough time with others but, it’s still there and it’s eating away at me. I know that people love me but my anger and sadness never seems to subside. Even when I’m with people I feel so cold and alone. How do I find how to be happy and whole again. I put on this smile and pretend to be happy, but what’s it like to really be happy? Cutting only makes me feel better for a few moment and that feels worth it. But it makes everyone around me nervous. I don’t […]
I have a new addiction
Its odd
Intead of cutting
(which is now my 2nd addiction)
I just wanna take pills
The feeling is just so amazing
I just cant take it anymore. Life just seems to be an abundant pile of shit that just gets deeper and deeper. I guess im at this site coz i needed to say this. I’ve been dealing with depression (or whateva this months doctor wants to call it) since i was 16. I’m 28 now. I have been off and on medication for years. It hasn’t gotten any better. I proberbly should have off’d myself back then and saved myself (and my family) the pain and the hassle. I am so alone. I relate to nothing in this world. My only mild feelings of contentment […]
I can’t wait to be done with my life. Every day is another day I have to face people and pretend I’m not devoured by the insides, where I have to be there for them and be their rock, their support. I don’t own a gun and where I reside it is quite the process to acquire one. I don’t have a garage so passing out in my car isn’t gonna happen. I have meds, but I’m too scared they won’t do the job. I don’t want to cut my wrists open because I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to cut the second one […]
but lack appetite? Yea.. fuck depression
My depression is spilling over into my professional life. I just can’t summon the strength anymore to go on, let alone put in a full days work. I know I’m easily replaceable as I’m the bottom rung on the ladder. Soon as I fall, they’ll scrape me off the floor like roadkill and get a younger, less dreary person in here. It’s the natural order of things I guess. For those that don’t go psycho, there is the option of simply letting your life crumble around you. Up to this point, I’ve been trying frantically to keep going, working, socializing etc etc.
It’s a new level […]
I am so lost and every day is a struggle. I have been suffering from deppression all my life and I am now 28 and a married mother.
what has kept me going is the thought of how my family would fare without me but it’s starting not to work. Recently someone has started stalking my husband and I, whomever it is is convinced I’m ruining my husbands life and I feel like this may finally be the last straw. The only people who love me are my husband and kids so I’m trying to hold on especially for my husband because he lost his dad […]
I am a horrible person. I want to die because all I do is hurt people, especially the ones I care about most of all.
There is only one person I really care about. She is a teenage girl who, due to the corrupt American legal system, is going to die in prison. She has already spent 2 years in adult jail, being raped and beaten on a daily basis. I had a lot of compassion for her, so last year, I wrote to her asking to be my pen pal. She accepted, and for a about a month, things went well.
But then I did the […]
Damn I really really need to get out of here.
Whatever happens I have to get out of this hellhole city. It is hard to research places though. I’m not really well-traveled and trying to look on the internet or even travel agencies is extremely time-inefficient considering I don’t want to play tourist and my general intent. I wonder how it would go though, going to a travel agency asking for a nice well-priced dying travel plan. Would have to go suited up so I don’t get kicked out too fast. What bizarre gonzo gallows […]
im sitting here in my room, drowning myself in music. will anybody just talk to me? help me?. i just am so sad right now.. i always tell mysel.. im useless. im a nobody. no one would care if i die… no one would ever notice… I just want someone…. i dont have someone to trust to tell them my secrets.. why am i so depressed.. i feel so unloved. useless.. why was i brought into this world…
im so lost what to do. i am so alone in this world. why wont anyone notice me. its like im invisble. I’m 18 years old, a girl. i have friends but i still feel so lonley. my body aches for someone just someone to love me.. just someone to notice that im hurt. someone to notice that i am so confused… someone to help me….
I can’t really say that I want to die, but I don’t really want to live, either. If I had my way, I could just stay in a nice little cycle of drinking and sleeping, but that’s not really a sustainable solution.
I feel like I’ve just burned myself out over the past ~9 years of school. Provided I pass all of my classes this year (which is a tall order), I’ll graduate with two degrees in May. Being able to say that is nice, but I have no clue what I’m going to do with it. My grades aren’t good enough to get me into […]
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