Once you come to terms with the fact that you’re going to die it all becomes so easy. It feels like a weight being lifted off my shoulders. I’m peaceful. If life means living in hysterics, being crushed by uncertainties and so on I don’t want it.

I don’t remember when I truly felt like yelling out loud I was happy. But I can’t even compare myself with other people that want to die and have tragic lives and want out. I just feel empty, I can’t continue. I basically fail at life because I have no will to go through it.

When I see the others […]

Okay so the thing is that my best friend is upset because the person she’s in a relationship with screwed her over and I see how badly upset she is. So the next day I text her and I get no response so I keep texting and calling because I was worried and I care a lot. So later in the day the person my friends dating texts me saying to stop flipping shit and that its not my job to care and blah blah blah. And that really hurt. They have no right to tell me who I can or can’t care about. Like […]

Okay, So I Created This Account Just Now, But Have Been Reading Stuff On Here For A Few Weeks, I Guess I Should Start With My Story, I Dont Really Expect Anyone To Read It, But Here Goes Nothing…..

Im A 15 Year Old Essex Girl, Im Supposed To Be A Bit Of A Slut/Whore, Thats The Reputation Of Where I Come From, The Thing Is, Im Not. I Never Have Even Been Kissed, Never Had A Boyfriend, Never Really Spoken To A Boy, Because Every Man In My Life Has Let Me Down. My Dad Left When I Was 14 Months Old, He Left On […]

This is the first time I’ve posted. As the title implies. I’m no really sure what to expect. I’ve been reading posts, and replies to posts. I’m not really sure how to begin either.

Well. Here goes.

I first thought of ending my life when I was in grade two. Yes. that’s right. Grade two. Why? Because in grade one, I was molested by a family member. Though I didn’t understand exactly what had happened, or how badly it would affect me, in my little mind, I knew it was wrong. I kept a secret until, in an emotional breakdown in Grade 6, it slipped out to my mother. Half of […]

Xeun

Did anybody ask me.?
Did i get a say or choice.? ( or was i just born.) If there is a supreme being ( and that’s a big if.? And i asked for life.Then it’s on me.) But if there in’t. Then it’s my right to end it. I’m standing on a crossroad’s. Life? or Death?

I’m choose in Death. So why am i choose in death.? Cause my life suck’s. It’s worthless and empty. I’m worthless and empty. (i’m not enjoying this.) What’s the point of being. If it’s just empty.?
I know all religion’s say suffering is good for the soul. This soul had […]

I would first like to say hello to anyone who reads this post as it is my first.  I came across this site as I searched on google to plan the most reliable and ‘safe’ suicide to end my life before the new year. I already know what way I could see myself doing it, even though it would probably be painful and my body would not look good after.

I am a 22 year old male. I have been privileged enough to receive private education and despite a period of going ‘off the rails’ between the ages of 19-21, I am now at university, a […]

Lost more than ive loved. Why’d you leave that stupid letter – i was just starting to heal.

this is fucking pathetic

I’ve tried comiting suicide 4 times. Most times I tried to bleed out. Then I tried to OD. But now I’m thinking about it. I want to really leave those assholes a mess to clean. I want my body to look like a rotting zombie by the time I’m done with myself. I’m thinking of slicing my arms up again. And cutting my neck as deep as my knife will let me. If i haven’t bled out from there I’m going to cut my ex fiancée’s name into my stomach. And finally write my suicide note I’m my […]

Hello. I have been reading posts from this site for awhile now. Many times I wanted to post something, but I never did, I don’t really know what to say. Sometimes, while reading the posts here,I feel a sense of peace and belonging that I don’t seem to find anywhere else. I fell in love with the people here. I remember a quote I once read somewhere that can better describe the way I feel here than anything I can think of – I love you all, the way you can only love someone who is an echo of yourself at the time of your deepest sorrow.

Today feels […]

I’ve never been happy.

Well, that’s not entirely true.  I have had happy moments, days, perhaps even weeks.  On the whole, though, I have never been a happy person.  A couple of decades ago I might have had “depressive personality disorder.”  If I actually told a doctor any of this, I might get a nice, shiny “dysthymia” diagnosis.  But I have never told a doctor this. No, I have never told a single person.

Every day in recent memory, I have thought about killing myself.  Usually it’s an idle “what-if” sort of thing.  “If I killed myself, I wouldn’t have to write this paper.”  “If I was […]

I took 4 days worth of heroin, 5 xanaxm 6 somams. and abour b8 laortab 10’s.

WTF dors it take to leave here. I’m so screwed.

this was 3 days ago, I’ve been in some wired dream state, between actualitity and being awake.

three nights ago I consumed suppossedly 4 days worth of heroin (of course on purpose). I ate 5 Somas, 6 Xanax and had eaten probably 8 lortab 10s during the day. I wrote out my last letter,

GTFW, I freakin woke up. …………….. I mean what the fu ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, does a person have to do to leave this place.

I know tolerance has alot to do with createing an overdose, but come on WTF, I used herioin once back in the 1980’s, this time i snorted it, forced myself to swallow all the differerrnt pills, OK there is a little tolerance with the benzoes, yet the combination with […]

If I die I’d want some one to take pictures of my corpse and use it as an album cover. Then my closest friends should make necklaces out of my skull. And lastly make soup from my brain. Now tell me about how fucked up you think you are. Mayhem is my favorite band for a reason. Dead the late singer is an inspiration

I don’t know what to do anymore I mean I have a loving family that loves me I have “so called friends” but idk what to do. I try so hard every day to be happy and fit in. I mean I don’t go to a big school so there’s not that many people to deal with but sometimes I wish I did live in the city that way I could always stay out of my house and drink and smoke and cut myself. I started to smoke regular cigerettes not to long ago but I stopped because my mom would smell them every time I came […]

I’m fucking tired of people calling me fat and ugly and hate that I have fucking red hair. Somebody somewhere always has to fucking make fun of it. I hate my parents. I almost my step dad because you was all up on my case. Mean I tell my mom and sister to shut the fuck up when they say one little word. I don’t know what to do. I am so angry lately!

100 units if humalog should have killed me. I don’t get it… But tonight, I’m taking the whole vial.

I’m saying this because I want it to be known and understood that I love God. I hate this world and all its evil. I hate men, and their cruelty towards women. I hate money and greed, and sin. But I love the idea of going on to be with my King.

See my previous post for my heartfelt “final words.” And if I happen to survive tonight, then I’ll (a) give up trying, and (b) post back here so people know. Not that I would […]

I have had many thoughts on killing myself and many tries. On the outside it seems as if i have to perfect life. Parents that love me, a sister who is there for me and a brother who fights for our country. No, the real inside thing is i have  divorced  parents who hate each other so much they don’t even talk to each other about whats wrong with me. A sister who thinks i cutt and think about suicide for attention.  A brother who left me to deal with my whole family by myself.  I have begged for help. Told them about my cutting. […]

…this is uncomfortable; writing this. 

What’s wrong with me…? What’s wrong inside of me that I hurt inside all the time..? Please do not answer those questions.. They’re rhetorical. I am very aware that no one has those answers for me, nor will they. I just want to share my story with you; a little bit. 

I think about ways in which I could die, all the time. When I’m on the freeway, driving 80mph, it always crosses my mind- I could just swerve; sharp left and it would be over..but someone could get hurt. Not me. Probably. I’m not that lucky. But someone…  Like most, I am a […]

You have no idea how many times I’ve contemplated suicide.

I mean the pills, the blade, the drugs and the alcohol were all ready, the suicide letters, some finished some uncompleted.

You have no idea how many times I’ve sat on my bed, blocking out everything, and concentrating on the blunt razor blade, you don’t know how many times I’ve carved the name on my everything into my wrists, my legs, my stomach, my whole body so they would know the reason for my death.

So they would know that the person was the one I toke my life for.

You are my killer mom; you have taken away […]