Is just not my day. This weekend was REALLY hard. I don’t know how I’m alive but here I am. I’m kind of amazed that I made it through this sadness and madness. Push forward. Make it through today. That is my only goal. Mercury is in retrograde. I am feeling shitty and communication is all messed up which really helps. I pray god to have pity on me but here I am still. I think if one more thing goes wrong, I may actually lose it. I’m a bit worried but I just gotta try my best. That’s all that I have.
GI JOE. Yeah it’s a pun. I don’t know why I felt like starting it that way. I’m still talking to her. At least I’m trying to. I know I said I have to accept that she doesn’t want to hear from me last post, but I’m really stubborn. I can’t really get that concept through my head. She was just in a bad place. Actually when I don’t hear from her from long periods of time she’s in a bad place. I know she’s trying her best. She has her problems. I don’t […]
I had a vision of shadow skies,
Swaying reeds and soft goodbyes.
Perhaps a silver stranger to say,
I wish you well along your way.
Sadly it isn’t what I thought,
Alone, as a ghost,
Nothing taken, nothing brought.
As my death,
Lets me move on.
Life’s hopes and dreams,
Have long since gone.
My long companions of depression and sadness,
Are still quite here.
So the quiet rest,
I do not fear.
I died, I died,
Long, long ago.
So now it’s time,
For the ghost to go.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCbLQOheVT0
Hey guys, this is a new demo I made, hope you like it. I’m a huge fan of christianity obviously, but its no worries if you are not, just tell me if you like the music. Thanks.
There’s been way too many times, where I’ve been jealous of my brother. May it be his appearance or body in general. Or his great health.
I just don’t understand, what went wrong with me, when my family is able to have pretty children. Like what the fudge am I.?
I work really hard on myself, yet can’t ever look as good and be pain-free as them.
I love, how my ‘obsession’ over that, makes me look narcissistic in the eyes of psychotherapy.
I’ve got the word written down a lot of times in my last Psych-report.
Now I’m just wondering… Aren’t ‘people like me’ […]
I don’t know where to start. Sometimes it’s just like why do I even bother. There are days when people say hey how are you feeling or you know hey how’s your day going? And it’s like what am I supposed to say that slowly dying on the inside that I’ve been secretly contemplating suicide lately? That I don’t even know how I get out of bed in the morning if it wasn’t for muscle memory I’m sure I would just lay there. Luckily for work I’ve been able to mask my feelings by putting on the facade. I can go and smile at people […]
I haven’t logged onto here in so long.
today my relationship ended after 2.5 years. I can’t stop crying and I feel so empty. He helped me start therapy and work on myself, but he wouldn’t work on himself at all. My heart is so broken right now and I don’t know where to turn. I have this thing nagging at me telling me that all of the effort I’ve put in was for nothing, and yet I feel so alone knowing I can’t call him up anymore. Some of the things said during the break up feel like they’re echoing in my head. I can’t […]
I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I never said i was a good person. Ive always said i was a bad person. Am i? But is there really a black and white definition of a good person or a bad person? Most would say its your actions that speak your truth. But everyone has been horrid or a little rude to someone and everyone has been the slightest bit sweet to another. Where is the breaking point? Where is the point of no return? When does good become bad…and can you have a come back?
I ask you this because ive been cruel and ive […]
Bad day…hope it ends soon!
I cried 3 times already.
My soul is hurt. My body hurts. My heart is broken.
But I’m being strong and said nothing to no one.
May be a shower and cut my wrists will help…ha ha ha
I’m trapping myself in the cage of my mental
I’m the prisoner and I’m the guard at once
I was wondering if anyone else has truly given up on trying to find a lover/soulmate or whatever you wanna call it. Is that too much for you to accept? That you’ll be alone for your short lifespan. I know I’ve made peace with it and I’m only 23 years old. But I know where I stand in this. I now live for a different purpose than the one most suburbia people strive for. I don’t want to have that relationship anymore…..I never had one and I don’t care anymore. I’m not turning into an incel….I refuse to think that way. To become an incel […]
Do you believe in fate? Have you accepted yours?
I have not found another human that really understands me. What about you?
After my death nobody will know why, the reason the feelings my view my opinions, all that, I guess it’s good in a way. Nobody will understand who I am and how I feel, nobody will after my death.
the urge won’t last, the urge and thoughts won’t continue, I won’t be killing myself, or will I?
i don’t know when will be the time, I don’t know if I can even last another year. They don’t see it, they don’t and I need to recognize that nobody will ever do. INFP is the most idealistic personality and I fucking hate it, I hate holding hope and […]
I feel it in my chest. Everytime I think about her being with him knowing she wants to be with me…….I feel it again. I can’t think unless she is with me. I can’t eat. Nothing is the same. I need her. The thought of her with him…..I feel it again. We are happier together. I want her to know that. I need her to know that. This..this pain. This ache, this throbbing its like my heart beats for her…so without her……I’m Feeling it again
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6QH74zAi5Y
here is some music I made, I hope you like it. If not its no worries. Peace and Love be with you all.
i feel so pathetic, honestly i’m over it.
i’m tired of feeling like this. i’m tried of getting over looked and feeling like my feelings aren’t vailed. this is all bullshit. when i actually opened up it was a sign of me seeking for attention then, now i cant even reach out for help nor say that i’m not okay because that means i want attention. i feel weak i’m not strong enough to get the help i need again because i have this fear that she’ll end up ignoring me because oh i’m doing it again . it’ll be like a cycle, oh i […]
Ok so me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years and some change. I have not been the best boyfriend but I got myself together and made huge changes that I knew I needed to make. So last week I scroll through and see that she is in another relationship with another guy. I felt so much anger and sadness. It was a pain that I couldn’t describe but I wanted it to go away.
It hurts more because due to certain circumstances we were at her parents house and now its just me. She comes back and we cuddle and she says she […]
It feels like I’ve been thrown into the waters of this big, deep, cold ocean and I have people watching me over from the sides, cheering me to learn to use my hands and legs and begin to swim somehow. And I struggle, drowning at times and every time I hit the rock bottom, just when a part of me heaves a sigh of relief that the battle to breathe is over, I’m pulled up but left, back in the ocean – for giving me another (which seems like endless) chance to try and swim and not sink.
The cheers are loud – everything they […]