i’m not here to vent, or hear reasons why i shouldn’t be suicidal. i’ve talked to people, and tried to give myself reasons not to end my own life, but when it comes down to it, there’s no point in going on living.

The reason i am writing this is because i need help offing myself.  I cant throw myself off a bridge or tall building because of my natural human instinct for survival. i’m too poor to buy a gun or enough drugs to overdose on.  I’ve also considered the toaster in the bathtub option, but i saw an episode of mythbusters that proved doing […]

Hell everyone.
It hurts my heart to read the degree of pain and torment of so many of these posts. I think maybe a little perspective might be the medicine you seek. There is a massive world out there and not everyone it is horrible. There are wonderful people all over this planet and not everyone is out to hurt.

The truth is people can and will believe what they want to. And its they’re right. Most of us are just trying to make it through this journey the best way we know how. It doesn’t matter what they believe and its kind of […]

im going to ask my mommy to put me back in the hospital. i need to be there. i was supposed to die today. naturally, i was too scared.

Im the girl you would never suspect.. the one who keeps you laughing, smiling and feeling good about yourself. I show you how to have a good time and how to forget all the bad things in your life. but you would never suspect that i do all these things to hide my own faults and insecurities. . you say im a good friend because im a good listener but i only listen because i dont want you to suspect my own problems.But now its out of control. I feel as if everything is crashing down around me and i cant stop it. I am suffocating in the remains of […]

sometimes I just feel that I don’t belong in this “real world”,..I’m such a “head in the clouds” person and NOT a ‘practical’ person,..which is unfortunately everything this so-called “real world” really needed

how many of you here can relate very much with what I’m saying here?
and how do you handle it daily?
by ‘grinding’ through it?..like a machine?..
or by ‘creating’ your own reality, or even an alternate reality of yours?
by escaping frequently?..

*sigh*..this real world can be way too dull, uninspiring, bland, and ‘dry’ for my vivid imaginations…

Death is the final destination.  Who gives a flying fuck how we get there?  Whether it be by suicide, natural causes, or some other obscure method, it all ends the same.  So then, what do we do? How do we use this life?  Do we live out our lives in misery and dread of that fateful day? Or perhaps enjoy ourselves up to the last?  I don’t know.  Maybe the answer lies in death.  I don’t know.  I suppose as your reading this, It would appear I’m just rambling on about things that far out of my understanding.  If so, you guessed right.  Which is […]

ok. the only reason i am posting my suicide story is because an acquaintance told me to do so. on the outside, you pretty much see a genius waiting to be discovered. im 15 yrs. old & im currently involved in 10th grade at a high school. i have all honors classes and have straight As in them. i am a brilliant musician,or so they say. i play the clarinet. i have done so since 6th grade & have been in the all-region band since 8th grade. i plan,rather my music teachers planned, to make it to the state band this upcoming year. no biggy since i […]

Trying moment to moment to be normal in a body that lived with being tormented by a Narcissistic mother and the rescuing father who protected her. And bullied by the oldest step sister. Mother had no empathy to know how she made anyone feel nor did she care when mentioned. It was always your fault, it was never good enough nor could you be good enough. She says mean things, was jealous of my father and I and would lie like as if a natural trait. She had a mental breakdown and institutionalized when I was a small child of 3 and […]

I’ve never gotten close to committing actual suicide but I’ve always thought about how I just want to end my life or just how easy it would be if I could take everything I’m feeling away. To live in this world like a zombie, not being able to feel anything and just live life being content with what I have.

I think the reason why I feel like I want to die is because I feel very lonely. There is no importance of living and continuing on with life when I feel like no one (other than my family members) will miss me. What’s even worse […]

Escapism

A familiar bottle lies before you. Its dark contents, the stuff of dreams. Literally

From time to time, we all seek it. Escapism. The final place of solace for the despondent. Some run, some hide, others take flight. The means of travel may vary, but the destination remains the same – that place that provides temporary comfort and a moment’s relief from the world’s troubles. Like a hotel, it invites you in; its hospitality, second to none. For seasoned guests, it provides familiar comfort. For newcomers, it provides a pleasantly surprising welcome. Hospitable, it bids you to stay; innocuous, it invites you to return at any […]

I’ve been visiting this site more and more often over the past few months. I know it’s a signal that I’m in yet another downward spiral, but as usual, I have no idea how to break myself out of it. I can never really manage to do that. Not completely. I’m what the therapist I’m seeing calls “passively suicidal” — I don’t have an immediate plan, but I think about how I’d rather be dead than alive, and possible methods for actual suicide, should I get back to the point of wanting to make an attempt, every day, over and over again. When I’m walking […]

I am 41 and a no hope waster, with no prospects. I am a miserable small dicked twat. My wife has left me for a patient that she treated in her hospital. I have my 10 year old son who I am trying to care for and do everything he used to do. It is all so overwhelming and I am slowly dragging him down with me. I have no friends and every minute of the day he is not with me I cry. My […]

Hey everyone! I wanted to share my story of my suicide attempts. I’m 16 years old, I’ve attempted suicide four times.

The first time I was 13, I tried it by cutting my wrists, i lost a lot of blood and ended up fainting, went to hospital, got stiches, and spent a week in the psych ward for observation then i went home.

My 2nd attempt, I overdosed on 30 prozac pills and 10 paracetemols, and 7 pain killers and 15 sleeping pills. I was going through a mental breakdown and had already told my parents i planned on killing myself that day (i think this time […]

Shut up

Have you ever loved somebody like with all your strength? like Eminem said:

“Have you ever loved someone so much, you’d give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?”

But what happens when the person who you love leaves you? Can you start all over again? Like erase everything from your mind and say “ok I’ll meet someone else”. I don’t, I was supposed to be happily married with the love of my life and then she left me… the thing is that it’s been more than 2 years and I can still not recovered, it seems that she left me and she took everything, […]

After much debate and worry, I’ve decided to use the helium exit bag method. I kind of tried it before but was not doing it correctly. I experimented with my depleted tank and now see how to operate it properly. I’m not sure when my roommate is getting home so I may check into a hotel to do it.

I think tonight I will go out and get a little drunk and then go buy supplies tomorrow and finish this. I’m oddly happy to know I have a plan of action and my pain will be over soon. I’m almost tempted to go ahead on to […]

i had this conflict with my mom and my brother a few years ago and now i hate everyone i have no friends and i want to die i want to cry but whenever i think of crying it makes me mad i think i treat my family horrible but all i want is for them to leave me alone i fell noone understands me and noone ever will so why wont they leave me alone i get angry way too fast and when my parents talk i dont hear them i hear angry hurtful words that stain my soul and it makes me cut […]

I have been thinking about this for sometime….I have a gun (taken from my dad) two bullets (just in case one is a dud) and I know where to go. I actually lay in bed and think about my walking to this spot and doing it. It actually makes me feel good. wtf, Ihave made such a mess of my shit life, I always made the wrong decision or have my hopes raised very high , then I get an “im sorry, we cannot hire you” or you have not been chosen. I have tried to make things better but as soon as they seem […]

run run run dont look back just run, until you get somewhere. maybe you’ll reach that place where you really feel fine and dandy, maybe not, but atleast you’ll be getting yourself out of this fucking hell hole. just maybe.

Thats what I started writing when i tried to update my facebook status. I really wonder what do i do from here, Im stuck in this loop of feeling fine and then feeling crapy. im fourteen and im stuck.

I really try hard but i end up failing my self and im just so tiered all the time, i dont know what to do, maybe […]

today February 5th 2011, at 5am my father died…. this all feels like a bad dream… i want to wake up…. My father is gone.. And my world is falling apart…. I cant stop crying…. It feels like a nightmare….. i wanna wake up…. i keep thinking hes sitting in his hospital bed waiting for me and my mom to come and see him…… but hes not….. hes gone……

……….i love you daddy and i always will….

R.I.P. Nicholas C.

1955-2011