Well today is the day! Spent 20 years trying to make it work but ive failed. If I don’t post again, the helium method works! Ttfn!

i have this problem with my attendance for school and i just had a meeting with a bunch of people to try to get me to show up. i have bipolar and depression,fuck. my mom is an emotional wreck and so am i. i dont want to end up in court cause thats where im headed. im gonna either run away or kill myself and i feel like sweet death is the only escape i have for right now. this is all. 1-25-11

My name is Felicia and I am 15 years old. I’ve been depressed since I was small, due to my stepdad living with me. I’ll get more in depth later.

As of now, people have grown tired of listening to me. Silence is the only thing that doesn’t judge.

The bottom line? I am going to help other people just like me. I’d like to think I’m slowly leaving behind what I once was.

Stay strong.

I’m so sick of being the one whose very compassionate and have everything get to her
I’m so sick of being the girl whose always being stepped on
I’m so sick of crying myself to sleep because of night terrors or despair
I’m so sick of being the envious girl
I’m so sick of taking all the responsibility
I’m so sick of replaying broken promises in my head
I’m so sick of feeling sorry for myself
I’m so sick of feeling down
I’m so sick of being punished because of good intentions
I’m so sick of trying to fix my flaws
I’m so sick of […]

Anyone in the uk going to use a helium exit bag? I have all the parts, just not sure about getting a constant flow of gas. I have a ballon adaptor that needs to be moved up or down to release the gas, but a regulator or something similar would be better, I cannot find one on the net though.

Lie to me,
with your voice
so darkly light,
and sinfully sweet.
whisper your hate into my ear
and try to make my cry,
with my sad, unseeing eyes.
Because you know
Each lie is a soft lullaby,
that only keeps me up each night
wishing, for a tomorrow without you.

Why does it feel like night today?
Something in here’s not right today
Why am I so uptight today?
Paranoia’s all I got left
I don’t know what stressed me first
Or how the pressure was fed
But I know just what it feels like
To have a voice in the back of my head
It’s like a face that I hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face that watches everytime I lie
A face that laughs everytime I fall
And watches everything
So, know that when it’s time to sink or swim
That the face inside is hearing […]

I’ve attempted suicide 5 times and all that does is put me in a mental hospital and then my family hides all the pills and knives like I’m a child. I am pathetic. I do absolutely nothing but go to therapist and doctors appointments and get drunk on the weekends with my friends. Right now I’m drinking a bottle of wine hoping it’ll give me the courage to really end my life. I don’t see the point in living anymore there’s this quote I really like by William Styron “the pain of severe depression is quite unimaginable to those who have not suffered it, and […]

I’ve had suicidal thoughts since i was 15, but i’ve never actually harmed myself until i was 19.

February 24th, 2010 was the morning i tried killing myself. It was like 1 or 2 in the morning i think and i was arguing with my boyfriend over the phone. Something told me that i didnt deserve this, or any other emotional/mental stress i was handed throughout this relationship. I’ve been feeling really suicidal and this was it for me. So i hung up the phone out of anger, got up, took out sleeping pills and a bottle of cough syrup i was saving in my room. I sat down on my bedroom […]

The last four months have been painful and hopeless.  Things are getting worse and I can only see this continuing.  My mind is fried and my spirit raked.  Suicidal thoughts are constant, I want this to end.  I am unable to make sense of what happened in my head so I’m not sure I can adequately describe it here, but here goes.

I was happy.  Things were good.  I felt confidence. I saw purpose in my life. I saw a way to continue. I knew who I was.  My brain was working. It ended so suddenly, fuck me this sucks.

I allowed my family into my home, […]

I am so sick of caring. Beyond tired by this messed up life. I try and all i get is shit, I stop trying and I get even more shit. Fall in love, finally feel happy, think everything is going to be ok, and get your heart ripped out.
I don’t know what to do about myself anymore, I used to think if I could just get out of this city, travel the world, write a book, do all of those things that I’ve always wanted to do that used to mean something to me, then it would get better. I’d start to feel right, […]

My name is Samantha, I am 12 years old and I have been having Suicidal thoughts for about eight months now.

I don’t know why, I just realy hate the modern world and think every one lost touch with there individually,

and I just think that is very Depressing. Other than that I have no Idea why I feel so suicial.

I have always been pretty diffrent than every one else.

I’m a bit socaily awkward, I think that is from being home schooled my whole life.

I have been depressed since I was 10, so for about […]

Why am I so emotionless. I don’t express much emotions to my family, or to the few friends that I have. I have made three failed suicide attempts and now i’m kind of tired of the attempts but there is something deep down that is telling me to try again. I try to stay away from these thoughts because the more I think of them, I get depressed, embarrassed, and I feel more ashamed. I’m a very sensitive guy that take things too personally. Not only that, I don’t “understand” much. More and more as I begin to start observing myself, it appears that I […]

Love me, Hate me,
Make me, Break me.
Why love me,
When your heart’s so closed?
When you could just toss my tournemted mind
Into those blood-dimmed waters?
Taint my soul
and paint my heart black.
drive your knife into my back
And leave it there
Until I learn to live with the hate.
Then leave me, my deariere
and leave me to fill that hole
with hate of my own.
Is this how you love?
I doubt it
But I’ll take it for now,
but seems my times up
’cause You finally said it, you love her.
Yes, admit it, fallen for another.

I wonder this a lot. Well, a boy who was like a brother to me got arrested for drug possession and resisting arrest. I might be kicked out of RSA (An art school). I seem to have this constant feeling of either being completely emotionless or angry… My friends seem to think its nice befriending people who call me a cutter and such, and an emo (which means emotional and I am not.) (Nor do I cut.) Sometimes I think I should though… Today I got put by the annoying guy who is shorter than I am (I’m 4′ 11″) and all he did was […]

So, here’s the deal.  This year I started university.  I stayed for two months until I decided I wanted to switch my faculty.  In order to do that I had to quit school and return as a first year in September.  I’d go through the reasons as to why this is but it’s rather complicated and I’ve grown tired of explaining it.  Right now I’m out of school and I’m working in retail.  I’ve already reapplied to four different schools that offer my desired program and I’m waiting on the results now.  I check my email/mail everyday in hopes of seeing an acceptance letter.  I […]

Have you ever felt like you were hanging from a chain of life? I feel like I’m hanging from a big chain below the golden gate bridge. As I look up I see one of the links starting to crack and weaken from all the stress and pain. When I look down I see the rushing water of pain and sorrow calling my name to just let go. But when I look up and see my dog on the bridge I love and telling me to climb before it breaks. But should I, Should I climb. before it breaks. I feel like it would be […]

the first time i ever tried to kill myself, i broke my mirror and took a piece of glass, hoping i would cut myself deep enough to kill myself, shortly after i went upstairs to my mom crying telling her i needed help.. she rushed me to a hospital, i spent 3 days there..
this all happend because of a stupid boy, telling me im nothing.

Thinking I might actually kill myself.  For real.  I’m going through the process of deciding if I should do it or not and this is part of my process.  I’ve talked to one close friend and there are more people I would talk to before actually doing it.  I’m 21 and I’ve had suicidal thoughts since about 10.  I wrote this a while ago about how I feel: http://suicideproject.org/2011/01/on-friendship/ comment on that or on this, please.  Let me know how you feel so I can keep thinking about it.

Straight up life is a cold hearted ***** ! It tares you down til your sitting in your own nothingness . It truly is despressen to me every second of every day that I have to live a life that is slowing slipping away . I walk round completely absent from life so why in the hellll would I not think if all this is actually worth it . Everyone just steps on your already broken toes . Now I know many people have it worse than me & they are happy , but obvisousily they are just stronger than what I will […]