My life is going downhill now. I had my grades and now they are slipping. I don´t feel like myself anymore.I am just a shell. I hurt everyone who care about me. And i don´t know anything anymore. A year back i made a desicon to kill myself on the day i get seventeen. My birthday is only three months away. And i am going crazy because i don´t want to die but i don´t have the strenght to fight anymore. And i don´t want to do it anyway. Yesterday was mothersday and i went crazy to my arm, i got it a little. Most […]

I wish that you could see the things i want to do
I wish that you could hear the things i want to say
Depression they call it
Piercing past the heart, into the soul
Turning your mind, body and spirit black
For people who cut,
You are not a stereotype
We all belong together
Hurting
Numbing
Dulling
Until everything and everyone is gone
The pain i feel, i honestly can’t describe.
Pain beyond belief in my heart
I like to know there are more out there like me… Ones that have had their souls shattered by false hope and broken dreams. I have absolutely […]

As I kick the stool
Out from under me, I say
“Please God, let me die”

Dark Thing: Hello.

Me: Hello.

Dark Thing: How are we doing today?

Me: I’m fine.

Dark Thing: Well, do you want me to fix that?

Me: Not really, but I know you are going to anyway.

Dark Thing: Don’t sound so cynical, Violet.

Me: Aren’t I always cynical?

Dark Thing: Only when I want you to be.

Me: Oh yeah, I forgot about that little detail.

Dark Thing: There you go again, always the one with the sarcastic comments.

Me: Piss off.

Dark Thing: Violet….

Me: Stop it.

Dark Thing: Hush now Darling, don’t you see this is all for your own good?

Me: I’m not listening to you.

Dark Thing: Oh, but you’re listening to me all the time, even […]

Yeah, I have a heart, I can still feel it beating.
But it’s not there anymore to me.
It’s been ripped out and torn to pieces so many times I’m tired of picking up the pieces and taping them back together.

I’ve become deathly shy, even talking makes me uncomfortable. Kind of funny I suppose, two have my teachers have mentioned ‘It’s always the quiet ones’ at least once.

I’m too much of a wimp to kill myself, but everyday, I beg for an accident, or some kind of mistake. That started last year or so. I was riding the school bus, and the road was extremely […]

A coma might feel better than this, attempting to discover where to begin.
You’re weighed down, you’re full of something, of sickness and desertion.
You’re weighed down, you’re full of something, you’re underneath it all.

So say goodbye to love, and hold your head up high
There’s no need to rush- we’re all just waiting… waiting to die.

Hope in a better place is all I need, with moments of innocence and mystery.
Oh, it’s the little things you miss. Like waking up all alone.
Oh, it’s the little things you miss. When you’re underneath it all.

So say goodbye to love, and hold your head up high
There’s no […]

American History is full of crap.

I don’t think suicide or depression exsisted back in the days of our founding fathers, or else they would’ve known that not everyone is in pursuit to find happiness.

I think people unconsciously look for ways to be unhappy. I mean, they cut themselves off from their family, their friends. They cut up their wrists to watch the blood flow and the pain increase. They drink and drink until they’re so down in the dumps that they put a gun to their head and pull the trigger. They constantly look for ways to make themselves unhappy, and it usually ends up […]

Take me away
Give me anything to distill this awful hell i live in
Morphine, percocet, heroine, alcohol
I want it all
To wash away my fading soul for good
Leave my lifeless, cold body behind
Guns, trains, ropes, knives
Please God, take this life from me
Let me die, ease this suffering
Put it to my throat, cut as deep as possible
Tie it around my neck, knot it as tight as it will go
Lay me down, let it hit me at full speed
Push it against my temple, let it blow me away
This is not a request, but a sincere, begging […]

i hate being alive but i dont have the guts to do anything about it . it frustrates me that i can have so much hatred and pain and yet im gutless. i hurt everyone around me all the time and but i dont mean to do it.  im sick of feeling like everyones better off without me. i dont want to feel anything anymore, it hurts too much.

UM, HI. ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE IVE GOTTEN BACK ON HER. BUT I JUST WANTED TO LET YA KNOW THAT I CREATED A WEBSITE FOR SUICIDE. BASICALLY THE PURPOSE OF IT IS FOR US TO COMMUNICATE.. POST STUFF.. HELP EACH OTHER. IF YALL WOULD LIKE TO VISIT IT AND JOIN GO TO.. http://iwillgiveyouhopetolivefor.webs.com/
I WILL WRITE BACK AS I HAVE DONE ON HERE… YOU CAN SEND ME N OTHERS MESSAGES.. I WROTE INFO THAT I WOULD LIKE YA TO READ. NOTE: I HAVE TO MAKE SOME CHANGES.. I SAY MY WEB HAS ME AS A MALE.. HAHA. AND I MADE ERRORS N STUFF, […]

I’m not really looking for help , because there is just nothing that can be done , I was just born this way and no matter how hard i have tried to change it in the past , I cant. The only way for me to free myself from this personality , from this existance is to … pull the trigger.

I degrade women, I  couldn’t care less about their personalities. The only thing I care about is their curves  , ass , breasts , waistline. Their face , is it perfect, imperfect , bearable , cute , ugly , dog ugly. If I meet a […]

6 months ago i met the girl of my dreams. She was everything I ever wanted, and could ever want. She was smart, beautiful, politically aware, and even had the same interest in music i had. We dated and broke up, but everything was ok then, i tryed to move on. Cut to 4 months later when we started talking again, but this time our relationship got a lot closer than when we were dating. We would talk every day and were practically inseparable. Every once and a while we would hit a bump but usually it was nothing too big to deal with. […]

My dad has been sick for a long while now. So its just me taking care of my dad. However I do have an older sister, who does absolutely nothing, but go out and see her friends. I do everything for him nowadays. And all he ever says is, why don’t you grow up, or stop being a ***** and help out for once like your sister. Then my sister tells everyone I don’t do anything at home, I don’t help, I just sit there and watch. Which is absolutely not true!!! So last night my dad yells for help, and I rush to his […]

What’s their problem?
What do they know?
It might not seem like a big deal to them,
but maybe it’s because they don’t know the full story
and haven’t been through anything close to as heart breaking as it.
Some kid comes up to me and says “When someone gets bad grades they cut themselfs or for any stupid pointless reason” I felt so agrivated and sorry. I was agrivated because of him, and I felt sorry because his girlfriend was a straight up cutter like me. I wanted to bash his face in so much, but since I can’t risk gettig suspended I didn’t. […]

It all started this year.

I found this amazing guy, & I’ve actually have known him since last year, I had a major crush on his best friend, & at the time, he was dating one of my close friends. But my friend eventually broke up with him & got with someone new. He asked me out, & of course I gladly said yes, I don’t know, he just was like one of those guys who could melt your heart in a split second. He totally respected me. & then one day, my friend & I were talking, & […]

well im an illegal immigrant so everyone treats me like scum. bad things always pile up on me and when i ask for help i always get told im being a whiny *****.most of my family cant stand me an a girl i was with for a few years left me.we were engaged but she said i was too good and didnt know how to react to that so she was cruel to me and eventually we broke up.its hard to find a job in my situation.my friends seem to have alienated me and i attempted suicide by swallowing a bottle of pills.amazingly enough i […]

I am so very grateful to have this website since it gives me the opportunity to vent. I have been having nightmares ever since I found out that there’s a great possibility that I may be hiv positive. I have already mentally prepared myself for the worst and feel like just ending this crappy life that leads us to the same place. They told me to wait until God makes that decision, but I really don’t like playing russian roulette. I want answers and I don’t know where to find them. My family don’t really care about me otherwise they would have shown up to […]

I take this chance to tell you all things real
These things tend to take over when it’s all that you feel.
Deep down inside
It hurts to my soul
But before it’s too late
It seems you must know.
These selfish lies,
Convincing me they are true,
Only make me leery of every believing you.
All this heartless lying,
Insisting you are true,
None of it is real,
Only now
I see through you.
If you love me so
It’s best not to lie.
If it’s habit you must break,
Then harder you should try.
I know you say you love me,
And know […]

I’m just tired of being tired. I don’t particularly want to die, I just want the heaviness to be gone and the feelings of rejection to stop and the slow tears to end. I always end up back here- alone, useless, desperate. I try to reach out to people when I feel like this, but I can sense that they don’t want to be around me. It’s always when I feel like this that I’m alone with noone to be with, noone who cares. Or maybe it’s the other way around…
Anyhow, I’m just tired and tired […]

Family Guy, Season 8, Episode 17.