I Don’t know where else to go. i spin myself all around but i always seem to fall on my ass. This life seems to short to live any longer. I can’t seem be to alive when all the world is a burning hell, A total disaster. everyone wants me to die just let me go. i look in to the ungrateful mirror to find out that I’m worthless.I try to be gentle but my gentle is destruction. My life isn’t hell but close enough. My voice scars those who hear it. My parents don’t understand The say i’ll never do it but i’m […]

I really don’t know what to do anymore… its not that I’m really giving up, I just don’t know what to do now. I have been thinking about life, and what to do. I want to live happily, and I think about the future, and I know how I’ll feel and yes I feel like that sometimes but other times I just go down and it all seems to slip through my fingers. I just don’t know what to do right now. So I’ll just keep sitting around hoping no praying I can get better, you see I know why and the reason for […]

The every day has become so petty.  It is such a struggle to put up the front of being “okay” with the way things are when it all seems, and often is, so meaningless.  It takes courage to walk away from a job and security without a backup plan.  How do I look at myself and decide what I can do that makes me feel good…maybe a long forgotten chidhood dream can be pursued.  It seems  easy to be surrounded by selfish and weak people and hard to find people supportive and caring. 
Suicide is not easy; Although many people say that it is.   It […]

I am a 35 year old female. I’ve had the condition of depression and an anxiety disorder since my teens. I am on medication which keeps everything other control. And I feel I have lived long enough.

I am not married and have no children. Infact my world is quite small. Occassionally I see my sister and brother and the one or two friends I have.

I am unemployed at the moment. For the last 2 months actually. It wasn’t the economic recession that got it’s fangs into me in the form of cutbacks. I wasn’t fired. I didn’t have a better job lined up. I just left voluntarily.

I had no idea if I would […]

I do not think I handle this anymore, I have breakdowns and no one ever sees it. I mean first I isolate myself after something very small, then I get really mad and then sad and have talks with like my family im not sctiofranic, I know I am not actually talking to them, but it calms me down, and no one has to see anything. But its killing me. Right now I am sitting in my grandmas guest room, my moms going in and out, I want to show her how I am feeling right, show her to try to feel better, but […]

i dont know what to write, say or even think right now. all i know is that i am tired, not in the physical sense although it it exhausting to wake up every morning knowing it is going to be the same bull shit that i have been putting up with to long. medication hasnt helped, mostly because i cant afford to stay on it, hospitals dont work-twice now at least, and friends dont work because nobody wants to be bothered, which is why its called “pity party for one”. I AM DONE. i dont want the attention of fake people saying they care knowing […]

i know my issues aren’t worthy of suicide compared to others but i just got to let this out hehe… i guess this may not be really about my thoughts of suicide. though i sometimes feel like ending my own life just because of reading other people’s pain and sorrow…

grades don’t matter but why can’t my father see that. he’s always bringing me down. always telling me how brilliant he was in college. that i ought to be like him. but i’m not him and never will be. he always contradicts me on everything even when i was choosing which school to get into. i […]

I thought i could trust them

Thought they were my friend.

My broken soul that trembles as i wake

My parents who left me to die alone

I may struggle but no one helps me

I fall deep under my shattered blood

trust me alone with the knives left…

Left on the counter

i walk slowly over to them

My hands shaking

I can’t do it all alone

The pain to keep my arms held up.

The pain to live alone with

No one who loves me not at all

my bitter mind shuts the harsh cold world out

The keys to my broken soul is lost

People can’t understand when i fall unto my …

my floor with no breath left

he […]

I’ve suffered from post tramatic stress disorder for the past 13 years of my life. And only 2 of those years, I’ve acually been getting some suport through councelers and meds. I’m 19 and I live with my only friend in the world. I have no family and no other friends to support me. I’m broke, job-less and running out of time. For the past month, I have been applying and dropping off resumes everyplace close by, and still I am waiting. I owe my friend and his brother $325.00 for rent and bus pass money. If I don’t get a job soon, I’ll be […]

Hello

I’ve chickened out so many times but I know one day I will do it. I do feel guilty thinking of people that have died that would have given anything to live I feel so selfish. I was abused when I was younger and cant speak to anyone cause it was a family member. I think of the family and how that news would destroy their lifes so I keep it bottled up so they can live their lifes normally whats one life compared to so many. For a while I was happy but that all ended it seems my life is just meant to […]

i was bored today, so i started looking around the site again. i haven’t poked around for a while now. as i was reading people’s stories, i found myself envious of them. i think i know why. some of the people here- correction, MANY of the people here have already attempted suicide. and i am jealous. it’s not just in this online world, it’s in my reality too. it seems ok for everyone else to break down, but not me. a kid i had known for years hung himself in the week before his bar mitzvah. we saw my neighbor get carted out of her […]

All alone in this place of no hope

All alone in my saddest sorrows

With no where to turn but my self

With all my fear until i fall

Fall ungreatfully into the

melted memories of him

The times he said he loved me

All just a lie, I try not to cry but the tears fall out

Alone until he finally sees me

Alone and waiting ut hes gone and i know it

The worst part is my parents hate me more and more each day.

My own hate toward myself my own regret

My tiny drops of blood

Then i died.

I really have no excuse; I have a good job, one I worked hard to get, I have money in the bank and few debts. I am reasonably healthy, although a little overweight! I have two children, boys, one employed one in college. I even own my own home.

So let me tell you a tale of woe, and you can judge me for yourselves.

Fourteen years ago I lost my husband to a sudden, unexpected heart attack. My parents did not bother to offer support until made to by my siblings, who were great at that time.My boys were only six and two.

Then I found out […]

When i was 12 i lived in kaufman, the best place i have ever been to and lived. I use to get in to alot of messed up situations with my parents and my friends. I lived in a trailer in the middle of nowhere and it is’nt a pretty site there either. I used to be grounded for a long time and my best friend killed herself. I always wondered about myself, what if i wasn’t alive, what would my parents even care about me anyways. It was Janurary 2nd 2006, i was home by myself and i kept wondering if i should do […]

” I’ve often thought of suicide as my anwser. But now i regret it. I Slit my wrist way to deep all the blood rushes from my gentle body as i lay crimped up on the floor i wonder if anyone even cares. My funeral was horrible no one even bother to release a tear. not one. No one came to claim me as there’s. No boys seem to take a look when i walk by they just go on&on about the measly lives of the tiredness of the others with in the room. No counselor seems to listen when i scream at the top of […]

I don’t want to live anymore, it’s that simple…

I am a dreamer, and throughout difficult times in my life, I always had this light pulling me toward better days.

I am now 35, depression has always been a part of my life, and I am feeling exhausted.

I lost everything, I am left with nothing.  Building my life again would take me an incredible amount of strength that I do not have at this point.

I know what is the core of my endless suffering: I simply need love.  But that cannot be done consciously, and when I have truly loved, I have always lost.  I cannot keep […]

not sure why i’m writing/posting this except that i so crave someone to talk to.  this will have to do.

i just can’t see how things are going to get better.  ever.  i’ve made such a mess of things.  i feel like i am holding everyone around me back.  like i am the one stopping my kids from having access to a good life.  i am such a complete loser, unable to function most of the time.  i can’t provide for my family and we are now in dreadful poverty.  if i were to die everyone around me would be better off.  materially, there is no […]

I am a 17 year old girl and I found this website while seeking least painful methods of suicide on Google.

If I had half an ounce of courage in my veins, I would damn painlessness and go out messily: off the edge of a building of with a bullet to the temple. I am, however, extraordinarily cowardly when it comes to agony. I would be inclined towards an overdose, but I hear that’s a horrible way to go – vomitting. I would inject some air into a vein, but where would I get the syringe? And I’m no fan of needles… In short, the recurrent […]

I’m sure many posts have started the same way mine will; I’ve never written a post before in my life.  But things have escalated to the point where I have to say this somewhere…..anywhere.  And this seems as good a place as any.

I was married at 18, got pregnant on my honeymoon, so had my first child by the time I was 19.  My husband and I had known eachother since I was 13 and he was 15.  We were the best of friends until things started changing when I was 16, and we fell in love.

I honestly believed my life was set.  We had […]

I’m a 17 (almost 18) year old girl and this is my brain’s rant session.

I’m extremely distant from reality pretty much all day, my life seems so pointless and corrupted that I create these fantasies about people, usually guys, I wish I could affect, but actually am just obsolete to.

After seeing the film Girl, Interrupted, I had a kind of wake up call that I was almost identical to Susana Kaysen who had Boderline Personality Disorder, it made me feel like I could define myself finally instead of being this pathetic outcast. I took a test for this on the internet and it confirmed that […]