My children 17 & 15 really don’t want anything to do with me since there father & I separated. I had to leave him to save my sanity but now I’m thinking maybe I should have stayed for my children. My X is very heartless & has told the children lies about me. I don’t tell them anything about what there father has done to me during the marriage. I don’t think that would be right. As I watch them pull away from me, I’ve become very depressed & distant. They have always been my world & I adore them but I’m hurting so bad. […]
This isn’t a very important question, I’m just wondering, how old are you guys? I’m 15 and a sophomore in high school, I’ll be 16 on June 25
Well I never thought I’d see today honestly. I wish I didn’t have to. Actually I didn’t have to, so I don’t know what the hell I’m complaining for. Every day I think about ending it, and every day I don’t do it; just wish and hope that I could die.
As I take a deep breath and everybody says “Make a wish” , I think about how ignorant they really are. They would regret saying “I hope your wish comes true!”. Wishes don’t come true anyway, well not for people like me at least.
So why then, why not just get it over […]
I’ve seriously had to think about jumping or hanging myself at work or jumping in front of a train because this is such bullshit and I’m getting abused on top of it. My job’s become unbearable because of the coworker who’s decided to have a problem with me and trying to get rid of me. Well yeah it’s fucking working. She’s been lying and complaining about me to the boss saying I stink, that I’ve filled the coffee pot with my coffee mug that I drank out of, that I fart and burp the whole day at work, and that I don’t shower and smell […]
Only way I could find the pics lol but they are so cool its a old psychiatric hospital in my country not too far from where I live my brother broke into when he was 15 and was really traumatized saying he could here the screams of the old patients O-O so I thought I should look this shit up. :3 the pics are really cool no not mine some photographers.
I decided last night to sleep on it and I’ve decided, I think today is the day. Thank you all for just being here; it was nice to be able to talk about my feelings somewhere.
I’m afraid but I know what I have to do. I’m only 15 and I know I am missing important things in my potential future but I can’t care anymore. I am most sorry about the scene this will cause and the people I’ll be hurting, but I just don’t want to live anymore and they’ve got to realize it’s for the best.
I hope all of you feel better, you […]
Today I looked back at the times when I was moments away from killing myself and I remember there was something telling me not to, that pesky survival instinct or “will to live” all humans have. I was thinking about my attempt planned for this summer and I asked myself why I set such an arbitrary time frame. That’s when I realized it wasn’t arbitrary, it was so I could use a shotgun that I don’t have access to until then. Which brought into question why I didn’t plan my attempt around the hundreds of other ways I could kill myself before that. Survival instinct […]
I had to go to college today. I was in from 1 to 5. It was the same lesson for the entire four hours, so it wasn’t as stressful as when classes switch. I was stuck on a table with the whole class (it’s small, only 10 of us and all girls), so my anxiety and paranoia was almost unbearable.
After meeting with my personal tutor yesterday, I’m allowed to leave lessons whenever I need to for as long as I need to. I wanted to every minute of class, but my anxiety stopped me and so did the fact that I knew I would just […]
Frustrating thing:
I tried making an audio post so you could hear something I wrote a few years ago.
I can’t get the audio post to work right.
I chose “audio” as the format.
I clicked on “add media” and uploaded the sound file.
I clicked on “preview” to make sure it would work.
It doesn’t.
Keeps saying “File Not Found”.
I tried the whole thing again, deleting the sound file, deleting the post draft.
Tried all over again.
Chose audio format.
Uploaded the file.
Clicked on Preview.
Nothing. It just keeps saying “File not found”.
WHAT am I doing wrong???
The file’s only 15.5 KB, so it’s well below the […]
I’ve just spent 30 minutes trying to post a comment. I kept getting logged out every time I attempted to post and then my password was not accepted so I had a new password sent to my email and logged in again. Still could not post a comment so I rebooted my PC and logged in again and attempted to post again over and over and then got a pop up message saying I was posting too many comments too quickly. I can not see any of my comments in the normal view or the pending section. So I’ll post my comment to the Prozac […]
She’s gone from this…….
to this. This is what it looks like when all the life energy has gone
I sit here crying as I watch beside me my little girl dying before my eyes.
She is shaking […]
This is my first post and I am in a horrible place. I tapered off all of my psych medications in 2014-2015 and am still in Post Acute Withdrawal. On top of that, I’m just a messed up person and I have been all of my life. I just need to vent, if that’s okay.
I am clueless at how to function in any aspect of life. My taxes are messed up, which is a huge trigger for me right now. I inadvertently have messed up my taxes in different ways for years now. One year I forgot income because my financial advisor switched companies and […]
This just hit me.
Our worst method of self harm isnt cutting, or burning,
It is self sabotage.
Atleast thats the way with me.
Worst part , i still have that lingering hope.
And the fact that i am sabotaging myself, while still having that little hope, is tougher.
Suicide is tougher cus i still wanna live.
But my motivation for suicide are ever growing,
1. People hate me , and i hate most of them.
2. The ones i do love, dont love me back
3. My parents only love me cus they are biologically engineered to do so
4. Future is bleak and getting […]
Last time was 7….
this time was 15…..
lets see if it holds.
Don’t know why I’m being such a ***** and fucking with pills….I own lots of firearms….
If I can remember correctly I got depression two years ago when I was 13. I only had it for a little bit and at the time I had no idea why I was so sad and what depression really meant. I started ignoring the feeling and I believe I wasn’t sad, but I still struggled to get by.
About five months ago I got really depressed, and it was quite severe still I managed to do things. About three months ago it slowly got worse and I couldn’t concentrate for very long, I started trying to get away from people, I have plans to leave […]
When the tides of life sweep you up like a tsunami no matter how good the ship is you either abandon it or drown but that is a joke because they are one in the same. I tried I really did but this year I am going to kill myself. I feel 5 years past due with the first attempt being at 15 now at 20 I am still plagued by all of my past grievances plus adult issues and I realize it’s a never ending shit show. When you go day by day making up excuses to live you just kinda start to wonder […]
I just want to run away and leave everything behind, everything is all so boring here and I’m wasting me life here.
I’m only 15 so I have to wait like three years and then I can finally leave this place.
I can’t fully process it all. Life is changing so fast. There’s still no long term security. It’s still week to week and not knowing if I’ll have somewhere to live in April. So I’m a full card carrying member of SGI and I’m going to be given a bunch of photos to make a video presentation for them, at least locally I mean, to be shown at the local center. They find out what you can do quick. Lol. At my second job I’ll get 15 hrs a week and have the title of program coordinator. It all sounds fancy. I can’t believe I […]
last saturday swallowed about 50, 500 mg acetaminophen tablets spent the entire night throwing up. spent several days nauseous, eventually went to the doctors(they dont know about overdose). then i swallowed about 15 more pills but im not feeling any side effects after it. i just want to die and i heard acetaminophen is one way to go
Hey everybody : I know its been a while since I last posted I just thought I’d post this. I was in the shower earlier this morning when I realized That I haven’t self harmed myself in a little over two months. I noticed it when I was feeling my hip bones this morning and noticed one of my major scars healed almost completely. Though my appetite is still shitty ( due to finals coming up next week) . My mood has been getting better which is a good thing at least. 🙂
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