I think it was the first time this year. My social skill definitely have taken a toll because of it.
But i’m back alone in my dark small room now. ugh this is how my whole life is gonna be. i don’t want it. ill just die now thanks.
This is only my second post on here, my first post I wrote exactly how I feel and while doing this just desperately wishing I’d be blessed with a child and start a family with my boyfriend. But after one persons comment, I realised im not the only person whos feeling the way I am, upset about the things im upset about and feel helpless. Ive spoken to friends an they all have their own problems too, but what kept me down about myself is im the only person I knew of with my sort of issues and feelings. I hated it, but knowing someone […]
My stepdad’s been drinking all afternoon, and it took me 15 minutes to get him to leave me alone after my mum went to bed. I’m alone downstairs now. Left to dwell on the last few days.
I’m still insanely hyper, but at the same time I want to kill myself – not just having the thought pop into my head and then it leaves, I want to go out with my tools to somewhere remote and end it. And I think this is more serious than when I usually want to do it. I’m usually too depressed to move, which explains the lack of attempts […]
Thanks to those who responded to my first post. It was nice to be heard.
It was another horrible morning. I wake up in so much physical and emotional pain. I don’t know how much longer I can take it.
Sometimes when I’m out in my car I just want to close my eyes and let my car soar off the edge of the road or something. I wonder if in that instant of being airborne I would have regrets and want to go back.
This is probably the only place I can say it: one of the reasons I haven’t done it yet is because I’m afraid I’m […]
Hi
I stumbled onto this site when I was ranting to Siri about wanting to end my life. And I really do. I don’t have a plan, I just want to die.
My life has just been one chronic pain after another for three years. A botched biopsy of my lip left me with permanent nerve damage in my lip which led to digestive problems, which led to severe weight loss, which led to muscle atrophy, which led to more pain.
Last year I had breast cancer and a mastectomy. I’m done with my breast cancer treatment but not over the pain of the loss. People say I’m […]
I keep thinking about what I might’ve done in my past to deserve a life like this, and I realized that I screwed up alot, nothing really intentionally. So by my account I should be even with the house, debt paid in full. It seems that not the case, so now I’m beginning to wonder if this is just the hand I’ve been dealt and I just gotta play it out ??? Like I said, I’m no angel but as an adult I’ve grown and always tried to learn from my mistakes, I try to help, and give, […]
She kisses like cough syrup when I have a cold.
but we’re not in love, we’re just alone.
Like a drug company’s overdose.
Trying to replace our heads with holes.
We’re missing days and spending weeks.
Only passing through looking for company.
And semen released is a rotting stomach.
Like a body drained of blood.
My flaw. Our failure.
Lovely, I just had the biggest panic attack I’ve had in months while at work. I’m alone so I have to work through it. Now I just keep riding the ‘after shocks’ for as long as they take to settle. Fuck this bullshit mental illness. I’m at war with my own mind.
What are your experiences in how depression has effected your friendships and relationships? With past girlfriends it’s always been an issue between us, and I just lost a friend because any good qualities I had were “overwritten” by depression. I’m looking for advice. I’m tired of being so alone. I just don’t think I can change the fact that I want to die.
When did this world become so insufferable? So much division and violence and hate. I can’t take it. I had enough of that in my own home growing up, and now I’m forced into this reality with an extremely amplified version of the same thing. And I work this useless job at a filthy, greedy corporation. No free time to even figure out who I am or what I want. No room to live, because I have to pay so much just to exist, let alone try to live. The only people that seem to care about my stupid thoughts are you all…and I don’t […]
House filled with people, Husband a big family…..but I’m fucking alone.
Physically, mentally, emotionally.
l alone no one to talk all ways surrounded by self centered with greater feeling then god kind of people . thats who I live now and I can’t get away from it no one cares. Im tired and really what to go home. just go home. Please some take me home please .
https://youtu.be/gR7LJsMLetY
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Did you ever read Voltaire’s “Candide”?
He says live life at Benny Hill freak out speed
Not a quote of what he wrote but a paraphrase
Make it up as you go Keyser Soze
Highlights yes but don’t underline ’em
Just live for N.O.W. like Gloria Steinem
Life is like Marion Barry
It’s not all that it’s cracked up to be
Like Fred Sanford when the big one comes
Find the meaning of life is there is none
It’s twenty-four hours when you call it a day
Be Frank and say “I Did It […]
I’m a long time reader but I’ve never actually posted anything exept for like a comment somewhere. But now I’ve seen some great people here like Cordless and Drowning (seen more but I can’t remeber names) so for some reason I decided to post my story for anyone that’s interested
I think the worst part of my life is school. My horrible social life isn’t that great either but my situation at school is pretty fucking horrible. And no I’m not gonna sit here and complain about homework or some shit like that but I’m gonna be whining about the people at my school. I feel so […]
To Wear The Black Coat
I put on a coat today. The last time I wore it, I died.
Not of embarrassment, or heat stroke.
I didn’t die laughing or of fright.
I died.
I was dead.
Dead.
I died on the beach. I could hear the ocean.
The coat has sand in the pockets.
I overdosed on a plethora of pills, hundreds of them, taken with a quantity of alcohol as I drove, careening blindly in the darkness over mountain passes between valley and sea.
I returned to a place where I last felt true, unencumbered, hope. Where I felt romantic love for the first time. Where I felt the future was all […]
No one can adequatly explain what i’ve been through, not even I. The stress, trauma, isolation… the daily thoughts that run through my head. I already know that I simply won’t make it for much longer let alone old age. I’m tired of life and want to sleep.
I met with my 3rd therapist who confirmed, yet again, that my life’s experiences fall outside of the normal paradigm. It isnt so much that these things occured but rather the psychological impact of such. I’m tired of trying. So very very tired.
Happy Tuesday to me…. FML I hate waking up I just want it to stop all the words, the voices, the demons just stop and leave me alone.
*closes box* but seriously though…. *rage quits life*
I do not know what to do, what to think. I truly do believe that my husband does not want me around anymore even though he tries to make fighting arguments that he loves me and that he wants me to be here. I am having by far the worst time in my life and he can’t even be there how he used to be. He used to be so patient. Do entirely blame him for it though. He has gone through a lot with me in the last almost 4 years of being together, a year and a half of being married and 11 […]
Yesterday I woke up sad and crying. Two hours later my period started. This isn’t the first time it’s happened, where my period coincides with a drastic turn in mood. Maybe birth control would help?
I spent so much of yesterday crying, just hurting so much. And today’s been pretty much the same, except I’m alone in the house. I tried to do the things that are supposed to help; I meditated (have been somewhat regularly), I did some exercise, I’ve tried to distract myself, forced myself to do some chores and some homework. But it doesn’t go away or lessen. It hurts so much.
It hurts […]
I am truly alone and one of a kind. Any indication of the contrary is a misinterpretation on my part or deceit from the other party, be it intentional or unintentional.
This individuality is the basis for my necessary death.