This f*cking sentence… change your attitude. They are not only implying that whatever you are going trough is your fault, but they have not a single parcel of empathy for you. I have had a lot of friends who never seemed to take me seriously and told me this shit. They think that they are so strong for not being like you, like they do right in life and you are only there in pain because you want to. You genuinely decide to suffer and be “negative” and cut yourself from the wonderful beauty of life.. yeah sorry to see things as they are. They […]
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Attitude
Ive never been close with my dad ever. i cant remember the last time i had a proper conversation with him that lasted over 2 minutes. this isnt because he is a horrible man who i would want to block out of my life, infact he is the most kind-hearted and gental man that is accepting. when i was diagnosed with depression i had a lot of anger inside of me that i had no where to put it and because he is so gental and kind it seemed like he was easy to step on and let my anger out on. i truely dont […]
Hi,
Of course I realise that I don’t want to die. Â I just want everything to stop. Â Or change, I don’t care. Â I supposed I will create a list of “Things I don’t like about myself”.
1. I am very overweight.
2. I drink too much alcohol.
3. I can’t apply myself to anything
4. I can’t deal with anything that stresses me.
5. I am anxious and unable to form real friendships or relationships
6. I just want to stop!
Feelings of anxiety grip my chest, causing a wave of tension to travel both down to my legs and up through my back and neck to my face and the side of […]
really angry and irritable for some reason. maybe it’s the heat. i am lonely yet i want to be alone. i am tired of talking. tired of being me. i have little patience for social niceties. i guess you would call that isolating myself. i am pretty good at that. i find myself lost in my head a lot these days. losing time. not paying attention to the here and now. seems like i am fading away. almost have myself convinced that my demise wouldn’t be a big deal. i wouldn’t be missed by too many people. there seems to be more times where i […]
I’ve been fighting off my own severe depression for 29 years, rather successfully, with an attitude that depression isn’t real, and thoughts about ending my life are just me being weak and unable to handle problems. But this tactic worked better when I was younger with opportunity ahead of me and the “my future will be bright” keeping me going; now that I’m 29, over educated and underemployed, fighting off depression with sheer will is becoming harder and harder, and the suicidal plans come easier and are more realistic and acceptable in my mind.
It’s less than day to day now; it’s hour to […]
The constant movement, struggle, and rotation of the world sets my mind ablaze. The constant parade of our society shouting demands from all people of all ages to look like this, talk like this, dress like this, believe in this, support this; if not, you’re nothing. How sweet is that…?
The neverending battle between good and evil, which has an invisible origin, kills my nerves every day. It’s like it makes me paranoid, asking myself constantly, “Am I believing in the right God?”, “Am I acting like I’m supposed to in order to be a member of this spiritual group/organization?”…..thoughts of ‘not being good enough’ or […]
I have a story, just like everyone else. It’s complicated, just like everyone’s, but I’m still different. I won’t explain it all, I won’t tell you all the sappy shit that goes on, because what good will that do? I was always told that the past doesn’t define you, so you should grow up. Right now I don’t feel like growing up, not just yet. Right now I want to live in a moment where I am the person that I have always wanted to be and that my parents will actually be proud of me and not try to change me to their standards. […]
First, you have to understand this. I am normally a very quiet, kind-hearted, caring kind of person who never, ever, yells at someone or is intentionally mean to another. But today, today I exploded.
So in school I am in this advanced program at school called the International Baccalaureate, or IB, program. The IB program at my school enables me the chance to go to a world school for my grade twelve year and another year. Basically these classes teach me more than the regular curriculum in order to provide a challenge for myself. I work very hard at my school work so I am actually […]
I don’t know what it is about Saturdays, but my fiance develops this overwhelming cruelty on those days and tonight. Last saturday I spent the night in our closet because he punched me in the nose and didn’t let me leave. Tonight I cowered in a corner while he yelled at me that I’m ugly, stupid, a shitty excuse for a girlfriend, that my attitude sucks, and that I need to apologize to his friends for acting so “embarrassing” tonight. I got upset over a video game we were playing. I admit that it’s childish but I didn’t throw things around the room, punch walls, […]
I miss him so much. I want my best friend back. I want to hug him and tell him just how much he means to me. I just want to see him again. I want so badly to see his bright blue eyes and blonde hair.
But I can’t.
He’s dead.
He would be ashamed of me. Drugs, alcohol, cutting, and my bitter attitude. Not much to be proud of.
There’s a part of me, though that thinks that he would be proud of me. I’ve been to hell and back, with both physical and emotional damages, but I’m still breathing. I can walk into a room and act […]
I have had a really hard life. And I bet a lot of you people reading this have had one too. But not all.. This is my story…
Hi, I am a fourteen year old girl who has been humililated, tortured, and bullied my whole life. I don’t have friends. I am very anti-social. I am home schooled because of everything that has happened. I am only in 8th grade. And My life is a complete hell. I have been bullied for about 9 years now, since the day I moved here. I used to here people in the hall ways, and I was just a […]
I don’t want to die. But I think of endless ways to kill myself. I dont try to think of ways it just comes to me. It scares me and my body shakes and i have a panic attack so bad i can’t breath. My mother gets on to me for a lot of stuff. when she gets onto me if i say anything back at all, even that i didn’t mean to or something, I get introuble at for talking back, if i say nothing i get yelled at for pouting and having an attitude. i don’t know what she wants me to do. […]
Unlike most kids, some nursery rhymes haunted me. One of those is Row Your Boat. It’s almost like… I don’t know. It’s almost like it’s about a depressed person, just going through life, feeling like it’s just a dream. That’s definitely how it feels now to me. Every second is just a dream. I’ll probably wake up soon, and I’ll be 8 again. My grandpa won’t die, and life will be perfect. Trevor will never have existed. Lacey won’t die. Nana won’t hate me. My mom will be proud of me. Maybe I can do something. But then again, I don’t want this to be […]
I stumbled upon the Project while looking for ways to make the End look like it wasn’t planned. Â It’s only made me more sad to see that there are so many people that feel similar to me. Â It’s beautiful though, to see so many likeminded folks listening, and offering support to those that can’t find it in the real world. Â I’m thankful the trolls haven’t embedded themselves yet.
I’m 30 in June, which makes me old in my mind. Â My 20’s have come and gone, leaving only confusion, amazement, and disappointment. Â I’m more successful now than I once thought I would be, but nowhere near where […]
I suppose I do it to myself most times. I wish i could blame someone else; that would make it easier. But its all me. My stupidity, my poor decisions, my attitude. I just want it to end. I hate being numb all the time. It feels like the only thing i can feel is anger or sadness. I want to kill myself but i’m just afraid of what might happen if it doesn’t work. I don’t want to feel any more pain. I just want it to be done–quick and clean.
What am i supposed to do? There’s no reason for me to stay. I […]
Ever since I was little, my parents have always been different. Harder,stricter, meaner. To all outward appearances, they seem like some fairly-wealthy, friendly vignorons (grape growers). Well if they’re friendly, then they probably just dont like me. Preposterous you say? Your parents LOVE you you say?
No, they dont. Not mine at least. For years ive always been that useless, dumb child that they cant stand the look of. No matter how friendly i am, how well i achieve or how much i help them, i get more crap. Im not dumb and im not useless. But they think I am. Any thirst for knowledge […]
Okay you guys so today was my like last day of school and it actually went pretty well. Â I’m doing alot better this semester then i was last semester. I’m trying REALLY hard to actually do good.. I’m working on my attitude and how angry i get. And I’ve started to write in a journal it really does help if you right things down instead and then go back and read them later. Also i count backwards starting at 10 i know alot of people do that well it works for me lol to calm me down sometimes plus i have a stress ball. I […]
Ive been a “klutz” my entire life. I guess you could say that i was born that way. Its just so annoying how i mess everything up. It seems as if i can never do anything right and when i think im doing something right, it ends up being wrong. For example, today i was marching in a parade with my band. It went seemingly well, to me at least. The problem was that i couldnt stay in my horizontal line the entire time because the person in front of me was too far behind her horizontal line. So if i had gotten in line […]
She’s so damn beautiful.
I want to tell her that, everytime I see her.
But I’m just too wrong, too messed up, for someone as beautiful as her.
My friends are getting tired of me constantly brooding over her, but I can’t help it. Every time, any time I think about her, I get a heartache unlike any other. No amount of negativity can give me this sort of pain in my heart. I want her to be with me, but it seems that I’m not what I used to be for her anymore. We used to text late into the night, care about each […]
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