I think I have the flu. Last night at work which was a horrible night in itself I started to feel weak tired headachy and sore. Kept having to sit down. Felt like I was burning up, later on found a thermometer and at 100.7 I definitely confirmed my suspicions. My mood took a hard crash in the meanwhile, feeling overly hopeless. I slept on and off for most of the past day, about to go back to sleep again. I am too tired to feel much of anything right now. I’ve only been awake because the animals gotta eat and I finally felt hungry […]
Bree hasn’t left me alone all day. Neither have the voices. They’ve all been taunting me, knowing what was happening today. My Nan had a hospital appointment. She’d been getting pains in her back. Turns out, her terminal cancer has spread to her spine now. And it’s all my fault.
They warned me. The voices warned me, the Angels warned me. Bree warned me. They said they would make my family suffer if I didn’t do what they said. Now they’ve done this. This is all my fault. And everything will only get worse if I don’t listen to them.
I told everyone it would be bad […]
So this is just a stupid rant so read or not. ..
Im sitting on a crowded bus with class dust and tiny fragments of glass from work stuck to my sweaty skin cos the air con is not working on this bus. Some guy has tried to jam himself onto my seat when its fucking abvious im having trouble folding my 6’4″ body into a seat made for a person who is 5′. I keep sweating and thatmmakes me more Iitchy.
I feel like everyone is staring at me. Anxiety thru the roof. 2 girls behind will not shut the fuck up!!
“Like […]
Why do people do it… Why like honestly get to know someone before the assume and make an ass of of themselves I know people probably think I’m paranoid (love that song BTW) but this morning was different like literally 20 mins ago I was at le supermarket (lala de dem doo) grabbed all my groceries then went straight to le checkout harmless right? What could go wrong here? Bam!! (Shitstorm tbh shit went down people) ….. A “nice” elder lady was in front of me (or so I thought see don’t judge a book by its cover (SPOILER ALERT:she was a total *****) see […]
Hi
I don’t really understand what all this is and what i’m doing here but this is all i have i guess
I’ll start this by saying my life is a quiet mess
I’m a 21 year old trans person (im agender, im not male or female) and I live with my shitty mom
now i’m not saying she’s shitty just because I don’t like her, she really is a cruel person. She’s left me in this weird limbo where i can’t tell what is and isn’t abuse anymore and she’s neglected me, mostly emotionally, that i don’t know what to do. She only knows I can like anyone […]
My dad got the results back from the doctors today for the weird lump on his neck. We thought it was just a swollen gland but apparently its a cancerous tumor.
What is this.
How is this happening. Its not fair, he works so hard for the family its not fair.
why does this happen, why can’t things be ok for once
why are things getting worse? why does my family have to suffer?
It just feels like too much has happened. Too many things gone wrong, and here I am left with the fallout of all of it. For a time I’d wake up with enthusiasm to fight it, figure I’d do this or that and things will get better, try to improve the situation, but where it’s led me is just so utterly depressing. Details don’t really matter, I feel it’s more once you get stuck in this frame of mind you just feel stuck. I don’t know. Just found out a good friend of mine from back in the day killed herself. She was so beautiful, […]
FANTASY STORY
art? not real. don’t shoot! I’m naked!
– amigo english not my numero uno tongue, sorry for any bad cooking mistakes! –
WARNING SHITTY STORY AND EVEN SHITTIER SHITTING SCENE.
I send my girlfriend to a 7 day vacation out of town.
I need some time for myself to deal with my emotions and depression and possible something else,
I will stay home while she is gone. And take a friend with you, don’t go alone, will even cover some cost
for her or him I say to my girl, she smiles too me and agrees to it, few days later, its time!
she has left the house […]
It’s not even 6:00 am, it’s not even a week day and yet here’s life giving me more shit. Seems to be a never-ending vicious cycle and I’m just about fed up. As far as I’m concerned life can go fuck itself, and I use the word life loosely because this ain’t no life. Sometimes things get taken away to free up your hands for something better ??? I’m calling bullshit. Life feels like a bully sometimes, and when a bully takes your stuff, you don’t get nothing back, let alone something better. Well I say Fuck You […]
If I could I surely would, ease all of your pain.
But if I could no longer, would you still know my name.
And if I couldn’t drain the tears that pour from these eyes, would you turn your back on me ?
Or would you say goodbye.
If I couldn’t be the shoulder which your head would rest upon.
Would you still be waiting, or would you be gone ?
If I couldn’t keep the smile, forever on your face.
Would I still be around ? Or would I be replaced ?
You have me way beyond empty inside, awaiting my last day to […]
I’ve had a long week. My mood has been so up and down all week but I hope it will end on a good point. I’ve been contemplating going back on meds for my depression and anxiety. Mostly for the anxiety. I tried to get help a year ago. Guessing my doctor ignored my depression questionable that the nurse filled out for me at my last physical. They want me to go back to my therapist I guess. I sorta wish I would but I can’t bring myself to do it. The thing is I know I have a balance but am not sure how […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
It was almost magical, the way we met. We had talked online occasionally for a few months before, on and off. The day before she went back to school from spring break, she told me where her home was. Only a 30 minute drive from where I lived. We immediately decided to meet. When we met we exchanged stuffed animals. She thought I was going to take her to Taco Bell. I ended up sharing a plate of pasta with her in a restaurant, then brought her home where we watched a movie. Her head was in my lap, and looking deep in each others’ […]
No matter how hard we try…..there are times that actually disappoint an individual… A very common reason is the past that haunts us and those things that we really aren’t able to get over….n what if the past repeats itself or just comes back…knocking the door….saying…”Hi darling….m back!” We simply can’t decide how to react…The dilemma of the present situations adds up too……Every human in the world is born with the right to make mistakes….that is how each one of us learns….n frankly…there is no such mistake that can’t be forgiven……then why do people have a generalization on basis of a mistake and judge you………they […]
For almost 2 years, I’ve felt this way because I live beside toxic neighbours and my uncle doesn’t listen to me to be careful of being taken advantage of. How? Simple. They threaten to sue us, get us fine and arrested for “Distribing The Peace” from the back up alarm installed on my uncle’s car. People sue for almost anything now a days no matter how ridiculous it may seem. There are various type of prices for back up alarm sold online and in-stores. Intially, it was […]
(Maybe this is an official “I’m back” post? We’ll see if my mind can keep on track. Good luck following my thoughts.)
I thought I was set for life because I had it planned out until retirement. Graduate high school, go to college and get my degree in accounting, get a job and earn promotions for the next 40 years of my life, retire and move to someplace beautiful and expensive, then wait to die. And I thought no more about it other than just a basic, simple, normal life. That was when I was in 9th grade when I made that plan. I have gone through […]
You know that feeling when your so close but yet so far I’m getting anxious about this fucking test tomorrow already failed twice and I’m getting to that point when I think fuck it and sabatage it and not completing the course if I fail again its so frustrating no wonder kids go around shooting up school and colleges
how can u win physically if your loosing mentally ?
Its not that hard to fall right back into the dark isit
I got so many question that I need answers to
why do we fight to live if we just live to die ?
why life so hard
why do we […]
I’ll be quite honest here. I’m barely holding myself together. My family has such high hopes for me, but I just can’t handle this. As soon as I graduated I was thrown into college, being told “I know you, if you take a break you won’t go back.” Maybe that’s true, but maybe when I imagined college I had dreamed of doing something that involved something I love, like art or music. I never imagined I’d be sitting in a class room with these people who are always over dressed and at least twice my age. I never once thought I’d be a business major. […]
A good song that is. It’s been a while since last I was here. A shit load has happened… I tried to resolve my issues, I’ve tried to resolve that I have to push through life. I refuse to believe this is a fucking disease. The only disease on this planet that doesn’t rot your flesh is humanity itself if I can cut past the idea that I’m talking about you, the reader.
I know I can’t kill myself… not myself anyhow. I’m too much of a coward and all of my attempts have just been those of a coward. So I can’t do that.
Right now […]
I think it was the first time this year. My social skill definitely have taken a toll because of it.
But i’m back alone in my dark small room now. ugh this is how my whole life is gonna be. i don’t want it. ill just die now thanks.