I’m a gun owner and literally every day I spend the day convincing myself not to pull the trigger. I’m a single mom that had a pretty crappy life. I’m adopted but the family who adopted me is crazy. My mother is the worst. I’m not sure exactly what is wrong with her mentally but something is definitely wrong. Not only have I wished myself dead a few times but she has too. I’ve always thought she hated me by things she would say and fights she would get in with my dad when he would defend me. She’s always been jealous of me because […]
It’s so hard, that even though I love and cherish life I don’t want to throw it away, I don’t want to let him win. But they just don’t seem to see just how hard it is. Why won’t they make it stop?
Someone, anyone, has got to see the effect it has on me right? Someones got to see what he’s doing? But he’s “My dad”  right? Im must be a typical spoilt brat teenager, parents don’t bully their children, if only they FUCKING KNEW. Someones got to see, got to be ale to help me, Except, I’m too good at pretending, to good for […]
Well I think its time to tell people why I cut and why I think I’m depressed. It starts off like all the rest, happy family, with money, love ect.. When I was about four years of age I was working in the farm with my daddy and my sixteen year old cousin, my dad left to get some food for the cattle, I was sitting on a lump of hay. My cousin comes up to me and starts fingering me. It was not a good experience for me and I couldn’t get him to stop. I think he would have gone a lot further […]
Well, the long awaited Christmas break started Friday and I dont feel any better. My hopes were that with 1o days off from school that i could pull myself together and maybe actually be happy again. I was wrong, of course. Dont get me wrong, Christmas Eve and Christmas were pretty great- probably the only happy days ill have for awhile. Ive basically been hounded by my family about school and grades (the cause of my depression relapse and suicidal thoughts) the entire break. My mom is putting pressure on me to do well so i can get into med school like i want and […]
what will you do,if your family found out that your cutting??
when they did i felt so uncovered like an open book infront of them,at least i said maybe this is where my life will take a turnover to good,but no all it did go worse than ever,my mom is keeping a close eye on me,always screaming at me,she took me to do a drug test to see if i take any kind of drugs.
my dad always asking for the reason why i did so!!
and every fucking day my mom run a check up to see if i had any new cuts
i […]
I personally have allways been in “the middle”. as the second of three child in my family makes me the middle child. i’m not thin, but i’m not fat. i’m middle. every thing i do i end up in the middle. always. it is living hell. for example, this xmas, while my brother and sister got their own iphone’s which the had wish for, i got nothing i had wish for. i got a pc. im not saying that they don’t give stuff. and that their beeing total crap. it is the fact that they dont listen to me. never. even when we’re planning dinner […]
Lets see how much of this I can say without crying…
When I was 3 I moved from Michigan to Indiana because my parents got divorced. My mother immeadiatly got custody of me and my bother and sister. 3 years later my dad got remairred to a woman named Stephanie. She was nice most of the time, some of the time she was just awful. When my dad was gone she would scream and throw things. She secretly hated my father. All she wanted was a baby, but he couldn’t give her that. We all knew about this, but he never realized it. One night, […]
How do you really tell someone you’re in pain without it bothering them? Without making them feel useless for not being to help you? Normal activities will only take you so far. Should I return to pointlessly opening my flesh? How many OD’s til I get it right? When will this spit stay in my mouth? When will my body stop aborting itself? I don’t want to kick and thrash anymore. I don’t want to freeze in one state for minutes on end. I want my old life back. When I was a humorous person to be around, when I would laugh at myself even. […]
They were siting on my friend audry and me and im the one in the black jacked with stripes shes the one crying xD
I went out of my house for a change, to hang out with some of my old friends. I rarely do this now since i tend to lock myself in my room, when im not inclined to go to school.
I hung out with 15 of my friends and we watched “end of the world movies” since that was the theme of the party. I was cuddling with my gay friend […]
My original post of this was a little harsh, so I posted a better version of it. I’m 25, married and suffering. This is just a glimpse of what my life has been like. At age 4 I was diagnosed with Spinabifida, and then my dad died. I grew up an angry kid. As I got older I got Appendicitis and lost tons of weight. I was down to near 70 pounds when they finally got the appendix out. After months of therapy I finally healed. Everything seemed to get better and so I wanted to start a new life. I got married and moved […]
I can’t get this feeling to go away. I feel bitter, I feel lost, I feel helpless.. I want to drink myself into a coma. I try so hard to make everyone happy even though everything is literally falling apart all around me. My best friend’s sister died 3 months ago in a drunk driving accident, she was 19.  even though we weren’t that close, she was still like an older sister to me. and I have never seen someone so young and so beautiful be so still and so lifeless. she didn’t even look like herself at all.. it haunts me everyday, all I can […]
I haven’t been here for a while. And honestly, when I came back, I wasn’t expecting much of any attention. I nearly thought this was going to be like facebook, with people saying ‘oh u shuldn’t b sad all the time u shuld b happi!’ but no.
Instead? People are supportive. Encouraging to live, not die. I was wrong about this place. Maybe this is a new leaf being turn? Or some sort of phrase like that, I don’t know..
But for those who are/may be concerned, life has gotten to a standstill. I’m neither happy nor sad on this year’s holidays. Maybe it’s for the best […]
Hi,
My name is Meaghan and I am 14 years of age. Ever since the age of 6 I have been a victim. I’m to scared to tell anyone. I break down everyday crying after the long painful days. My dad is the worst person I’ve ever meet. He is a drinker and gets drunk many days a week. This leads to my pain I’ve dealt with for to long. He violently screams at me every day telling me how ugly and stupid I am and how I will never get anywhere in life. Makes fun of me pushes me around and wants to fight when […]
So, my crush, and I have been talking, and hanging out, we just told each other how we feel about each other, but one problem, he has a girlfriend. -_- . But last night, we kissed. He is a really sweet guy, and is always there for me, we were best friends, but falling in love with your best friend just mixes things up. I don’t know what to do, he said he will be the “dad” of my baby. But he is still with, her. I want to call him mine, but maybe he doesnt even care. i’m stuck.
I’ve been going through the motions for years now. I’ve put on a brave face, told myself if I try hard enough that life would be great, I’ve done it all. I tried drinking my problems away but my presistent optimism kept my from becoming a real alcoholic. Just recently my best friend and one of the few men I’ve ever loved got married. Out of the blue kind of married. Just a few days before all of it we were sleeping together. To top it off he got married 3 days after my birthday, lol he’s an ass but I do still love him. […]
I attempted suicide last night again.. but as you can tell i didnt succede. I took a handful of prenatal vitaims but just ended up heaving my guts out along with some blood. My dad and i got in a huge fight, cause i hung up on him in the morning while running for the bus.
It got worse when he planned TWO doctor appointments in the middle of my end of course test. I was pissed so i sent him a angry text in all caps. Then when i got home i went to a friends to install a game onto my computer and we […]
As hard as I tried to convince my dad that the woman I love so much isn’t some pedophile, he still wouldn’t believe me. He wouldn’t let me explain all of what I had to say. Here’s what my dad threatened to do. “If you send so much as one more message to her, I will send your psp, your phone, your mother’s laptop, your stepdad’s laptop, and my laptop into the police as evidence against that disgusting pedo so that the police will track their location down and arrest them. I am NOT F****** kidding, I will send you to juvy too if you […]
Alright, I know this is more of a suicidal story site, but I was thinking and I almost attempted suicide, so I guess it sorta counts.
When I was about 3, my mom and my dad were constantly fighting. My mom was sleeping with other men, after she was married to my dad, to try to get rid of him. She apparently hated my dad, and wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. She was on several drugs, (and according to my grandmother so was my dad but before I was born) and she had all sorts of health problems, one night she even passed […]
These thoughts of suicide are consuming me. So much in fact that last night i dreamt that i had ODed (but didnt die) and i went to a hospital and my friend was there and she asked “Why would you do this?” or something along the lines of that and i replied “School.” (because the pressures of school are whats making me depressed and suicidal) The scary part is that i didnt regret it one bit. I woke up feeling happy because of what i had done in the dream, then i was disappointed when i realized that it was only a dream. I constantly […]
I think I like someone and I used to not like her because she seemed really immature and I just didn’t like her but we’ve been talking off and on for two weeks and I just love her sense of humor. I don’t really know, I don’t want to  like her, I don’t really have time for a relationship and I don’t want one, I just got out of one 3 to 4 months ago and maybe I don’t really want to be with her but maybe I just like her sense of humor and personality.  I’m 18, shes 30. I really don’t want to like her or enjoy her personality or even really be her friend. I have such a defense mechanism because I don’t want to […]