hi everyone that has read my story. this is the day after easter, also the day after i posted my story of myself. to make my story so much more shorter, to save people time from my worthless story. im only 17, junior in highschool, i hate my life completly and everything i turned out to be so far. i have no father and the mother i do have, we have no relationship. my father abandoned me when i was a baby, my mother was a teenage mom when she had me… she didnt know how to deal with me. so she took it out […]
Tag:
Depression
my name is alyssa, im a junior in highschool and im only seven-teen. i just turned seven-teen a couple months ago. ive dealt with depression since i was little. the furthest i can remember was when i was in kindergarten, when i started to get these sad feelings. i dont have a father, he abandoned me when i was born and pretended to care by taking me in here and there. only because my grandparents loved me and he lived with them, so he had no choice but to see me. he would steal from me, the clothes my mom would send me with, the […]
“blood gathers around the slits,
wells at my wrists,
ancles, and stomach,
and glide down my barely satisfied skin.
dripping down.
down to a dark pool.
made by me.
and the help of others
dripping
past any care,
and right to where hope should be.”
Â
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“You strive for the top
because you crave the danger
but can you handle
the ever persuing fall?
every mountain has it’s precipice
which leads to a steep
fatal
fall
the sof wind of fake comforting words
accompany your decent
as the ensuind crash
puts you on […]
I am a 21 year old male college student. At age 16 I was very depressed and thought suicide was a way out. After some counseling and some time, I was “better.” Then I went to college and met the woman of my dreams. Quite literally, I had this image of the perfect woman and she fit perfectly. It took a lot of effort but I eventually ended up dating her. This was the happiest I had ever been in my entire life. Don’t think me so naive, I have dated women before, but this time it felt RIGHT.
She met me when I had no […]
For those contemplating i have been there and would like to share abit. Year 2002 After battling depression for years, drove my car 75 miles an hour into a semi-tractor trailor, slit my wrists, tried smoke inhalation.Am still here. My conclusion 1. only God has the finally say. 2. He must have created me for a reason.3. He does not give us all the answers immediately concerning life and difficulties. 4. most answers i have found in the bible when no one else could answer.5. This life is not easy and will never be. 6. This life does seem and may be is unfair in […]
My pain feels so unique until I get onto the internet. On nights like this, when I’m home by myself and need any outlet, no matter how pathetic, to the outside world and I turn to the computer, I am amazed and infuriated by how many people suffer as I do. Of course, I operate under the delusion that nobody *quite* suffers in the same way I do, but that is not to say it’s not to the same degree: just a different set of ingredients. I feel my mix is particularly bitter.
I am just your average twenty-something white girl, with complaints that make […]
I stopped seeing my psychiatrist and psychologist because I thought I was better. I went cold turkey and suddenly stopped taking 225mg Venlafaxine a day and the 10mg Zyprexa (Anti Depression and Anti Psychotic Medications). It worked. Its been 2 years since taking them, and I think I just realised that nothing has changed. I never got better. Just deluded thoughts kept me going.
If it is any use to anyone – If a doctor trys to give you Zyprexa…. dont take it. do yourself a favour. I hit the point I would take any help I could get. Anti psychotic? Sure, throw me it, it […]
i dont want to cut again but i see no other way …….
I am a 25 year old guy living in California. I’ve had suicidal thoughts for as long as I can remember. As time goes on, the thoughts have increased in frequency. I feel like I’m trapped… Like there is no way out.
There are a lot of people in the world that would like my life… why don’t I?
I should be grateful for this life… but I’m not.
I think about buying a gun, and going somewhere far away from people and ending it. But my inner voice tells me that this isn’t the time; I still have things to do on Earth.
wtf […]
After my first attempt, someone told me that something like 75% of people that attempt suicide and fail will attempt again and by successful. Now I am sitting here alone in my room, already have made my plan and I can’t get that statistic out of my head. But honestly I can’t seem to get anything out of my head these days.
I’m not sure if I want to go into my “reasons” for doing this because after psychiatric counseling, mental wards, rehabs, and etc, I’ve realized there is no point in trying to explain a reason. I’ve been told there is no reason. Suicide is […]
First post being my last post.. Just kidding, hope some still have a sense of humor.
by holy grail
written by holy grail
I’ve never sought help like this, nor looked for it. I’m bored and finished watching a movie(The Wackness). If you have seen this movie, i can relate to that kid and his heartbreak. I’ve only suffered one heartbreak, and it has nothing to do with where I am at(level of depression). That being said, I’ve done far much more damage to others. Not saying I’m a whore of sorts, just having issues with this backlash of reality.
OK, lets shorten this up so I have a chance to capture someone who can relate or pretend to relate. I was the happiest fat man in the world. […]
After a few months I grew tired of feeling sorry for myself so I started developing a website to help myself keep busy in my spare time, but to also inform others of the dangers of spending money foolishly without thinking. Econochristian.com is my website. As you can see, I somehow discovered a path to religion when all of humanity seemed to have failed me. I guess this happens quite often, but it does help to rely on a religion with many followers to help you get back on your feet.
so. this is my second time posting something here.
i had a panic attack last night. and drove 30 minutes away to my family’s cottage where i then spent the night. the whole way there i was driving at at least 85 mph. there were a few times where i actually almost went off the road. and i dont think i cared very much.
my best friend was supposed to come visit me at college tomorrow. but we got into an argument because i said some stupid things. and now he isnt coming. and i’m extremely upset by this.
we got into an argument about a month ago. […]
I don’t know why I came to this website, other than to get all of my suicidal thoughts out. I have struggled with depression for a while, but lately I have felt more suicidal than depressed. I’m going to the local community college in my town. I can’t put this into words right now. Every day I’m there I feel these intense feelings come over me. I feel alone. I know I am alone, even though there are plenty of people around me. The sunshine doesn’t make me happy at all. In fact, it makes me angry and upset because the heat is so unbearable. I’m […]
I don’t really believe my story is one of suicide. It’s more a story of depression, if it’s even that. I don’t really know what I feel most of the time, and I tend to revert to sadness. Often I find myself pondering reasons I have to be sad.
I have never been beaten by my parents, never been horribly embarrased by my peers, I have friends who I hang out with consistently, I have a good job, I am a smart young man, I have tutors in life, I have good health. So really there is no reason to be sad, right?
If that is true […]
I’ve had it with life. I’ve tried and tried to make it work but time and time again, it’s failed me. It’s taken me almost 6 years to graduate college, I have A.d.d, I have a father whom is almost never around and when he is, he’s nothing more than an arrogant asshole. He thinks he can just buy my affection because he’s an executive. Well he’s wrong. My mother suffers from a severe anxiety disorder and is constantly taking it out on me and my sisters. I am broke with no job, no girlfriend. My 17yr old sister has more money than I do […]
This will be my first post here. Hello.
A couple years ago I attempted to overdose on sleeping pills. I was on anti-depressants that I had been taking irregularly because I had just moved into a new, very tiny, apartment with my new girlfriend. We had been together for a little under a year. In addition to anti-depressants I had some perscription sleep meds, and one night after weeks and weeks of worsening depression, I decided I would take them all.
I sat on the bathroom floor for an hour, and just stared at the walls. After that I went outside and stared at the sky for […]
i’m 25, no job, no car, no home, with a child, no friends, i havent lef the hosue in one year (literally not walked outt he door), been through this before, when i was 18 didnt leave for 3 years, i’m severely suicical, i’m almost there, my depression was a seeed that slowly over years grew to this point, no turning back and what’s the one thing i hear over and over? ” suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems” well hey how about this-i’m suicidal not because i lost my job, or my husband left me, or because of some other bullshit reason […]
I’ve been “struggling” with depression since I was nine; I’m thirty-three now. I have been on hundreds of medications and finished sixteen rounds of ECT (8 unilateral, 8 bilateral) in May. Long story short, things are not better.
I feel a huge amount of guilt and fear about leaving my husband behind, but I can no longer distract myself from the fact that I want it to end and it doesn’t seem that is going to happen. I have been severely depressed, unable to go to school, unable to even bathe, for three and a half years now. I love my husband more than I knew […]
I am a twelve year old girl who has been put through shit in the past few years. I’m not sure where the problem began, but I’m trying my best to find out.
I think it started last August, when my “friend” Shelby and I tried cutting ourselves with sticks. She did it for attention, while I did it because I thought that maybe it might help. Little did I know that I was committing myself to this life (because I’m such an idiot). She made scratches on her arm while I was trying to make it bleed.
In middle school, things started to get worse. I […]