If I could go back for a day, I would change everything. My life is a story full of secrets and lies. My life is a huge lie. When people ask me what’s wrong, I just say I’m tired and they fall for it every time. What the hell, people? I want to vent, but I don’t trust anybody and the last time I said anything, they walked away. They walked away because I lied. I want to go back and fix it, but I can’t because I’m not worth it. Why do I have to endure all the pain and stress of this mess? […]
I just want my life back. I lost it years ago and I miss it. I just want Amber to forgive me but she never will. My family is pretty much gone because most are just too selfish to even talk to anyone. They do nothing but fight and ***** about how shitty their lives are, but they don’t know how bad it can really be. I mean, they could be like me. Some are, but they are fighting it. They have the very willpower and persistence that I just can’t find anymore. I don’t deserve forgiveness or happiness and I can recognize it.
Hello. Haven’t posted in a while. Testing week was hell. Tired. Ended testing week off with an important interview. Felt like a fraud. I dressed up as something I wasn’t. Smiled. Used hand gestures. I was articulate. They seemed very pleased. The final question was why I thought I deserved the position. I wanted to scream out I didn’t deserve it. That I was a fraud. That I was a liar. That I was a horrible person. I sat there for 30 seconds. I finally came up with some bullshit answer. They said I got it. Went up to shake their hand. I felt a […]
How dare you do this to me. If you wanted to die you should’ve done so by yourself, alone so you wouldn’t hurt anyone. Instead you fell in love with me, and made me fall in love with you.
You knew how badly I was hurt before. You knew I’d been abused, lost people, had people walk out on me or abandon me. You knew I was plagued by demons from my past. I thought I could trust you. You, of all people.
I can’t do anything without thinking of you. You’ve blighted my life with your loss. I just want to end things myself now. What […]
I’m honestly sorry anyone’s even attempting to read this load of self-pity.
Am I really just a dog? I can’t be, my family likes dogs. So what does that make me? My brother and sister both talk to me as if I were a dog. My parents stand by and either continue it, or tell me to stop being such a baby about it. I know that at the end of the day, I am nothing and furthermore that my family sees me and recognizes the same thing; I am worthless.
I’ve honestly got the best friends I […]
I’m really sorry to anyone who wastes their time reading this, so I’ll try to make it short.
I am not a necessity, nor a nicety, so why do I continue to roam this bloody earth in hopes of finally being wanted. I’m not wanted now, I wasn’t wanted in the past, and I can’t help but think that I won’t be wanted in the future. I’ m a liar, an accident, an attention whore, a know-it-all, and just an all-around piece of shit. Why am I even still alive?
If it’s not a problem for anyone reading this, would you […]
Someone. Anyone. Please. I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t handle the noise. I can’t handle the pressure. Fake smiles. Teary eyes. Mirrors that hide the truth. No one to talk to.
Do any of us on this site even deserve what’s being handed to us? We don’t get a choice in how our life becomes, so why do we have to be the unlucky bunch? I don’t understand. I look at people and see, hear, even feel others’ happiness. Why do we have to the odd ones out? What did we do?
I keep thinking about what I might’ve done in my past to deserve a life like this, and I realized that I screwed up alot, nothing really intentionally. So by my account I should be even with the house, debt paid in full. It seems that not the case, so now I’m beginning to wonder if this is just the hand I’ve been dealt and I just gotta play it out ??? Like I said, I’m no angel but as an adult I’ve grown and always tried to learn from my mistakes, I try to help, and give, […]
I’ve been flirting with suicide a lot more lately, and I’ve realized that it’s the only way out of the mess called my life. It’s shitty, but it’s what it is. I wasn’t blessed with a good life or happiness, I don’t get the same things other people get. This isn’t a suicide note or anything, just writing my feelings. But I’ve realized that the only thing stopping me from killing myself is fear. It’s a cliché fear but I don’t want to stop existing for eternity. I just want to be happier. And there’s a tiny bit of hope that I’ll finally be happy […]
My bf got out of hospital se had 2 good days i hope he stays better i been looking for job and stressed out cuz no one call me bk n i have to pay creditors bk im stress of this i hope all you are having a good thursday get a nice icecream u love today u deserve a treat i got my self recess cookie icecream
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
You are the most perfect you there is.
I’m not saying you are “perfect,” hence what society considers “perfect.”
I’m saying that the reason why you are perfect, is because you are you.
You are perfect at being you, because you are you.
There is no one who can be better at being you, than you.
Nobody can be you except you.
No one has the same laugh.
No one has the same smile.
No one sheds the same tears as you do.
You are a very cute specimen and you deserve a hug.
Stay strong, my friend.
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This is just a repeat of my usual tedious bullshit.
I don’t think I have it in me to live a worthwhile life. I can’t connect with anyone. Not really. The best I can do is to fake it (some of the time.) It stops me from ever really enjoying the moment. No matter where I go or what I do, I’m always dragging around this barrier in my mind, distancing me from everything.
So my life, in itself, is not worth living. I can’t be one of the happy, successful, functional people. No fun social life, no real friends, no partner, no kids, no fulfilling career […]
I hope this isn’t breaking the rules… I’m a 48 year old man. Been kind of a rough and tough guy all my life. Never done drugs, though. Drank alot, smoked a little weed years and years ago… those were the days…. anyway, my whole world has come tumbling down. I know, you’ve never heard that before, but it has! I was married for 15 years and hated most every minute of it. Finally grew the balls to get out in 2010. Soon after I met the most beautiful angel! And, of course, immediately fell in love! It was wonderful! We were together for a […]
I never knew there was a video for this now 12 year old song. I was depressed when it came out and i still am. I may never overcome it honestly. In some ways i understand that. I dont know how ive lasted this long. There is plenty of reason to be proud of myself. I’m tired of the permanent loneliness. The emotional disconnect from humanity. I don’t have social networking/media. I have never dated regularly anyone in person. Ive never had real close friends save for a needy user. I have goals and hopes and even help with them. Im going to […]
I am sad. It feels like the ocean waves rolled over and hit me on and on again, leaving me to sting all over. The pain pricks through the deepest parts of my soul. Angela, you spoke as if you were to die soon. You spoke as if what’s left of your life is very short and you want to spend it with your loved ones… You sounded so broken. And it hurts me. This pain, which has been existing for the past seven years, today resurfaced and hit me hard. Really hard. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Where is the young ambition? […]
It would seem that all of my plans and hope for a bearable future failed today, I wont bother with going further into details on this. I happened to have a meeting with my psychiatrist right after I figured that out and I just opened up and said that I cannot go on like this. I have to start preparations, my computer, hard drives, my room itself.. my online people.. things must be erased, those who knew me a little deserve to be informed if I go.. And now I am awaiting a call from an “emergency team” I don’t know what this means.. […]
As I try to remember the sound of your voice
I can’t help but wonder if we made the right choice
To let go the special bond that we used to have
To say goodbye to times that made us laugh
Now I sit here alone with guilt and regret
Tortured by the past that I cannot forget
Tormented by overwhelming misery
While Looking back at my decisions bitterly
I know we decided to go apart
But doing so shattered my heart
I have been trying to put it back together
But the important pieces are lost forever
Our lives will now never be the same
All this I have myself to blame
Unable to hold on what matters […]
This starts from where I left off, I will try to be brief. I especially don’t like to dwell on this, though I often don’t have much of a choice.
I got chlamydia from a guy. I tried to be safe, but I won’t go into those details.
I suffer from urethritis, which isn’t contagious. It just means I still experience irritation daily, but not all the time.
I don’t know how much of this is his fault. I didn’t hear this from him, but I was told by his ex that he was sexually abused as a child. Then he got kicked out during the […]
I decided last night to sleep on it and I’ve decided, I think today is the day. Thank you all for just being here; it was nice to be able to talk about my feelings somewhere.
I’m afraid but I know what I have to do. I’m only 15 and I know I am missing important things in my potential future but I can’t care anymore. I am most sorry about the scene this will cause and the people I’ll be hurting, but I just don’t want to live anymore and they’ve got to realize it’s for the best.
I hope all of you feel better, you […]
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