I know that isn’t really a word. My daughter struggles with depression, scratching (not really deep cuts) and suicidal thoughts. I do, too. I have told her that before that I know where she is coming from. I even told her that I had thoughts of wanting to die. In typical 13 year old fashion, she must have never really heard me. We don’t like her psychiatrist, so yesterday I told her that I was going to start therapy and seeing a psychiatrist again because my thoughts of wanting to die were increasing. She started crying and was depressed the whole day stating she never […]
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Doctors
Second post. Spent all day yesterday planning my death if my trip abroad didn’t work out. Realised it was really bad.
Realised I have to go on proper meds or I will do it. Am not afraid of death but don’t want to fail at it and think the process would be uncomfortable.
Cried and cried and realised only answer was to get proper help. Went in first thing to docs to book an appointment and said it was urgent. The receptionist asked me how long I’d had symptoms and I said depression a long time suicidal a few months now. I thought she would realise this […]
And by pain, I mean physical pain. I am sick of hurting all the time. I am sick of not sleeping at night because I get these long, miserable headaches, and the treatment(s) are typically stimulants. I feel nauseous and depressed and I just want to die.
I have PTSD from being ill. I get flashbacks of when I was sickest. I was lying spread-eagled on the floor, unable to move. I could barely breathe. I just lay there and stared at the ceiling, I don’t know for how long. I remember crawling from my mattress to the kitchen to open a can of beans. It […]
Hey. I’m a 14 year old girl. I was suicidal last year, I was referred to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services)
I didn’t go. When I was young, my mum used to hit me when I made her angry. I told my school and she got a warning.
My eldest sisters told them I was lying. COINCIDENTALLY the same social worker got involved last year about my “suicide note”.
No. I said, “Won’t death be the perfect escape” among other things. It was private. like a diary. SO MY FRIEND DECIDED TO RAID MY ROOM WHILST I WAS AT SCHOOL AND SHE FOUND IT. Anyway. no […]
Here is my life story and why i want to kill myself.
when i was born i was dropped on my head by my crackhead mother and then because of it couldnt talk right but could still think the same according to the doctors. In my middle school years people started to make fun of me because of that and felt as if there is nothing else to do.
so luckily somebody introduced me to a little plant called weed and i could never get off of it and after a while of smoking that i got bored and started on the acid and coke. […]
I have LPR.
It’s a horrid disease and incurable to say the least. Those with LPR have the pleasure of experiencing various, horrible, painful symptoms in their heads and throats. There is no cure. Doctors refuse to acknowledge its existence. The only one who does – a specialist – says having LPR is like having the ‘VIP pass’ to throat cancer.Guaranteed. The stomach enzyme pepsin is to blame for both LPR and fatal throat cancer. Proven.
And I have LPR. Proven. Therefore I am almost guaranteed to experience cancer, which will kill me. Painfully…
And even if I don’t, I will have to suffer for my whole life, […]
My next surgery is coming in a week. It is exploratory since doctors are still trying to figure out my body. I am done. I do not ever want to see another doctor, have another surgery, I am done. I am unable to even try committing suicide right now because I am busy with commitments to the odd-jobs I do in the neighborhood. I need these jobs as I am poor and can’t be turning down offers of work. But I don’t allow myself to attempt suicide during these job commitments because if I failed and was placed in a psych ward I fear people […]
It’s been a long time… I’m just so ready for it to just…end.
I’ve reached a new low. A low, where the first time in my life, the cutting isn’t enough. The distractions, the stories… even my art has become dull and lifeless. Leaving the house is painful. Seeing so much happiness. It hurts, so much. And the stares, the rumors. I pretend they don’t bother me, but when I’m alone, their words are sharper than any of my knives. I found this movie, stumbled on it, really… And it seems so stupid. Â So fake- but I love it. The idea of finding a world….a place […]
I dont know why, but i want to kill all the people around me.
Even my family, i love them but, i really want to kill them.
I dont know whats happening whit me, am i crazy?
I feel empty. More death that alive.
I cant feel anything. I not even smile or cry. I feel cold. Empty.
I have try anything. Doctors, medicine, therapy… nothing helps.
I just feel all this fucking needs of blood and death.
Can somebody help me? Please!?
I never keep promises unless I reeeeeeeally have to
The only reason I keep any promises is when either the law or the medical establishment forces me to keep them…
I’m a survivor and haven’t yet killed myself, nor have I gone with counting down five years from now to die at my own hands, because I was made to swear that I wouldn’t attempt suicide again, nor ask to be helped to die again, by who? The fucking doctors. I love them, yet they give me a hard burden to bear. I love one friend in this world, a few family members only.
I never believed in […]
Hey guys, my name is Fabienne, I’m 17 and from New Zealand and I have been at war with myself since I was born. Literally. Mum said ‘you came into this world not really wanting to live’ so I guess life-long depression is my diagnosis. I’ve been bullied for having eczema since I was 5, being called names like “Scabby” and things like that, then was ostracized from age 6 through till age 14 at school. I moved schools in Spetember 2009 and started to get boys attention for the first time and ended up giving my body to them so I could feel ‘normal’ […]
Since I was the age of 15 (I’m 23 now) I have had various suicide attempts, each time either I fucked up at the last minute or the police intervene. I’ve been to psychologist, psychiatrist, specialists, councilors and been admitted to a mental health faculty. The past 3 years have been the hardest to cope with. I’ve tried getting help, but got nowhere. I get the feeling society wants me to kill myself (and I don’t blame it).
What shits me is that these attempts are quite life threatening, yet no-one has ever diagnosed me with a condition other than anxenity, but each time I’m talking […]
got caught.
so scared.
stupid doctors.
i went to one, just a check-up
with my parents
the other day
and when she did that fabric around your arm
that squeezes
well before she did it really
she had to tell me
“roll up your sleeve.”
in my head i was
“goddamngoddamngoddamn”
and trying to find a way out of doing what
she told me to do.
i couldn’t
so i just rolled up my sleeve.
this was not one of the ways
i imagined the finding out.
my mom gasped
as the nurse wrapped the
stupid
scratchy
cold
fabric around my upper arm
and said
“what happened to […]
I will spare you my sob story. Here’s what you need to know. I am 23, married and a stay at home mom to a 4 year old little girl. I have been depressed since I was a child. I have times where I am okay but I always end up feeling depressed more often than not. I first considered suicide around 13 years old but never really had intentions or means to do so. In my family mental disorders are not considered medical and I would be told to just get over it.
Now, present day I am more depressed than ever. I think […]
I’m not suicidal ( I think). I don’t have a shitty life (from a privileged family). I’m not a teen (no hormone imbalance).
Though, I do feel like a piece trash most of the time. (I know….you can call me a whinny ***** later)
I’m one of those people that no one will ever think to be depressed. I’m in university. I have a lot of “friends”. I have a loving and successful family. Yet I hate myself most of the time because as a single child to a very privileged family, I’m bloody mediocre and boring as a piece of white paper.
Most people around me often say I’m […]
I’m 24 years old. I have a bachelor degree. I can’t find a job. I live with my parents. Everyday I feel like they don’t want me at home. Their home. I don’t feel like it is my home anymore so I spend all the time in my room trying not to disturb them. When my mother was pregnant of me she took a overdose of pills not caring about the baby. My dad didn’t want me to be born and the doctors said I was going to have serious health problems because of the overdose. So it was better to abort me they said. However I was born. […]
I thought that having a crush was normal. It is, but it’s not when that person is all that you think about. You dream about them. You daydream constantly about them saying that they like you the same way you like them. These things aren’t normal. I think I’m just fucking going insane. Trevor is honestly the only thing I can think about. He’s my safe haven, in a way. I focus on him instead of focusing on how much pain I’m in. I guess it might be normal, but it doesn’t feel that way. I don’t want to go crazy. I don’t want to […]
Doctors tend to ask if you are suicidal. I’m not. I accepted a while ago that I could not bring myself to do anything that intentionally hurt the people I love. Since I first wrote this sentence down, a close friend of mine took his own life. Before this, I had begun to feel increasingly like my desire not to be here anymore was beginning to outweigh my desire not to break my family’s hearts. Because, much as I don’t see the appeal, I have to admit that it would. I struggled, in the wake of my friend’s suicide, to understand how I felt about […]
Lock the key to my heart. Never again will I let my pain start. Its now just healing, no sorrow to show, that love can hurt. But I will grow into the women that I know. Sometimes love will let you go…Hold your breath, forget,forgive. And it will show he’ll miss you dearly when you go. Be the person your happy to be. Until death takes part, when you’ll be let free. Freedom does last, it does show. Everyone has their opinions, so just let it go. Tomorrow is another chance to show to just have fun being me, until ill let go. Sometimes I […]
I have been on medication (viibryd) for 6 weeks. doc says it will help. He also gave me clonopin for anxiety at work. I am 42 divorced, no kids, just a great dog who was thrown from a car window and i rescued him. I will not committ suicide and leave my dog. no one would care if i die, i come from a “traditional italian family” your not supposed to have depression, you are supposed to “snap out of it and smile” well i cant. and lord knows i’ve tried and tried and tried. I feel now that since i’ve been with this job […]
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