watch me try to kill myself and then fail again and cost my family another $10k in medical bills because our insurance is shit and the u.s. healthcare system fucking sucks
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Five-Finger-Death-Punch-Coming-Down.m4a
Unequivocally I regret the time spent on the porch. Sitting. Pondering. Contemplating. I’ve never been one to dress up or down. My family being who they are, will inevitably be there for me in my passing. Not dressed up or down. However, they don’t understand who they expect me to be. I’m a loser. A fake. A fraud. Death is my only true companion. And I welcome her with open arms.
I’m honestly sorry anyone’s even attempting to read this load of self-pity.
Am I really just a dog? I can’t be, my family likes dogs. So what does that make me? My brother and sister both talk to me as if I were a dog. My parents stand by and either continue it, or tell me to stop being such a baby about it. I know that at the end of the day, I am nothing and furthermore that my family sees me and recognizes the same thing; I am worthless.
I’ve honestly got the best friends I […]
Don’t you just love it when you’re family, who you’re not with most the day, tell you that “you’re so fat! how much can you eat?! Just stop eating the entire house!” when you’re just making a egg sandwich and its the first thing you’ve eaten for 1 and half days. Now they’re telling me I’m wasteful for leaving a boiled egg in the fridge. why don’t I just don’t eat ever again. why don’t I just not eat anything so I’m never wasteful. How about I just die so I’m wasting any of your time, not wasting space in your house, not doing anything […]
My mum found out about my relapse today, and has been demanding since this afternoon for me to tell her why I did it. No matter how many times I told her talking about it with her makes me uncomfortable and I literally can’t tell her, she’s still insistent I do.
So I’ve wrote it out in bullet points for her in the morning – and just for the heck of it I referred to myself in third person. It’s not really helpful, but it’s all she’s getting. I had to come home early from college today. I told my mum I probably would because I […]
….Hey all….This is my first time posting here, and in all honesty, I never thought I’d see myself posting on a site like this.
I’m not looking for pity, simply a place for me to talk about my problems, where no one will judge me, or tell me that I need to believe in God.
I apologize in advance if this seems like pointless rambling, as I’m just trying to get it all out.
I’m 14 years old, and honestly, I wanna die. My biological father left when I was two, and I have no memories of him, and I only found out about him a year and […]
My dad got the results back from the doctors today for the weird lump on his neck. We thought it was just a swollen gland but apparently its a cancerous tumor.
What is this.
How is this happening. Its not fair, he works so hard for the family its not fair.
why does this happen, why can’t things be ok for once
why are things getting worse? why does my family have to suffer?
You’re most likely wondering why I so boldly asked for you to read this post. Well, I did so because I have something to say that I believe will benefit you, no matter if this site applies to you or not.
I’ve had an unbelievable amount of personal experiences in my life that in reality could have shattered me from the start but instead, here I am writing this […]
I’m starting to believe that even life doesn’t want me here. I find it funny how you can think you’ve hit the bottom and can’t go lower than that, but then you do. You sink further down into the abyss.
My family and my social life are falling apart. We’re economically fucked, I will get kicked out of school if we can’t pay the tuition (we owe like 3,000 dollars and that number will continue to go up if we don’t pay in time). The only place where I considered myself as “not so useless” (even though being good in school means nothing in real life; […]
Losing yet another good acquaintance…
Let’s call him Roger. I just got an email from him saying goodbye. He’s moving to Seaside, OR
I didn’t know. WE didn’t know (one of the groups I volunteer at) he’d been planning ‘his trip’ since last year.
Roger is a two-time cancer survivor.
Always the fighter, he went to own the business he started working at years ago.
His youngest ‘child’ will be heading for college this summer.
Roger’s wife’s already waiting for him having passed a few years ago after a tragic accident.
Roger has a thriving business, family and has his entire affairs in order.
He also has ALS. An aggressive case of it.
It’s […]
I can’t handle it anymore. I can’t handle the constant stress, the overwhelming feelings of depression and anxiety, the unbelievable sense of failure. My friends and family don’t listen to or believe my cries for help. Help. Something that seems reassuring, something that seems within my grasp, yet I know I’ll never get it. I’ll always struggle, always be a burden. I’m sorry I give people grief and sadness when they see me, I’m sorry I can’t be perfect, I’m sorry I rant out my problems to people who already have enough of their own. I’m sorry I’m alive…
So I’ve lost hope now. Years and years of therapy, waiting a shit load of money – sorry mum. I just feel like nothing is helping. I’m still cutting and going deeper and worse, I’m still suicidal and getting closer to death and my mind is going darker and darker, losing its contrast. I’m slowly giving up and all it’s doing is hurting my family.
Why do I have be afraid of my brothers whyyyy whyyyyyyyyy now I’m stuck having to do something I don’t want to do on mother’s day…… Asdfghjkl I hate my family (apart from my nephew) enough as it is but now it’s worse I have to go see my Nana… Now some of you think that’s not so bad why are you complaining just stop you’re ranting it’s annoying.
No I won’t because I need excuses because my brain isn’t working.
My Nana is the worse person everrrrr […]
I had to write an essay for one of my teachers and I don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote about my suicide thoughts and my scars. And so now my whole family knows and they are giving me all of the attention, and now I have to go to a therapist. I hate all of the attention, and I hate that now I have a therapist. I hate talking about how I’m feeling to someone face to face. That’s why I talk here, I can talk to all of you and you won’t know who I am what I look like, and […]
I wish I could runaway from all this pain I feel everyday I’m drowning in my own mind. I want to leave this stupid family behide and live a better life of my own if that’s even possible
For almost 2 years, I’ve felt this way because I live beside toxic neighbours and my uncle doesn’t listen to me to be careful of being taken advantage of. How? Simple. They threaten to sue us, get us fine and arrested for “Distribing The Peace” from the back up alarm installed on my uncle’s car. People sue for almost anything now a days no matter how ridiculous it may seem. There are various type of prices for back up alarm sold online and in-stores. Intially, it […]
I’ll be quite honest here. I’m barely holding myself together. My family has such high hopes for me, but I just can’t handle this. As soon as I graduated I was thrown into college, being told “I know you, if you take a break you won’t go back.” Maybe that’s true, but maybe when I imagined college I had dreamed of doing something that involved something I love, like art or music. I never imagined I’d be sitting in a class room with these people who are always over dressed and at least twice my age. I never once thought I’d be a business major. […]
I am a 47 year old guy facing prison for a crime with no victims, but a crime none the less. Other than the one thing I did, I have led a peaceful life and am caring and kind.
This will not only effect me, it will also devastate my family, friends and church. In addition, I am Type 1 diabetic, so a five year term is a death sentence.
I simply cannot handle this. It is impossible, and there’s only one way out.
It feels nice to write my feelings on a social media page where everyone gets me. I talk to my boyfriend all the time about my depression and bless him he’s bent over backwards to try make me happy, and as much as love him and appreciate the effort he’s going to I physically can’t change how I think or feel 🙁 its gotten to the point where he feels like he’s useless because I havent improved at all, but he’s not! And when he feels useless sometimes he gets mad and thats only been recently, I cant blame him after 2 years of having […]
I started a new job today, my first full-time job in six months. I wish I could give it a chance, but my mind won’t let me. So many times today I asked myself why I dragged myself back into this grind when three months ago I was so ready to just say fuck it and end it all. I feel like now I’ve just taken on more expectations and added a whole new set of people I’m probably going to let down the next time I have a really bad couple of weeks. Part of me clearly doesn’t want to give up, but the […]