I have always dreamed of myself dying at a young age and I hope it happens. If someone asked me if I could reverse my birth, I know I would. There is no other possible answer for me. My family always says I’m useless, so why should I be here? I don’t ever get why some people say that life is a gift. Whenever I’m in the car, I always imagine some car or truck crashing into me, killing me. Instantly or not, I just want to die. But the one thing that is holding me back are my friends. My closest friend, we have […]
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family
I never thought it would get this way again. Everything was looking up, I was happy. But I guess my happiness always has a nasty habit of running away from me and leaving me like everyone else.
I’m scared. I’m so fucking scared I have no idea what to do. I wake up shaking from anxiety from dreams I can’t remember. I’m not eating, i’m not sleeping. I just got a new job and I don’t even know how I’m going to manage that. I never want to leave the house anymore. What’s the point? I have a boyfriend, things seemed perfect. Maybe i’m just too […]
I can’t live like this anymore. Is it even living? It’s not even surviving. I’m barely existing. My depression is getting worse again. It was just starting to get somewhat better.
My moods are fluctuating terribly, but there’s been some sort of ‘okay’ in there for a couple weeks. Now it’s all just came down so hard and fast over the last few days. It’s making everything else spiral out of control.
All of the voices are constant, including the Angels. The figures are everywhere. I can’t eat. I barely sleep. I don’t want to leave the house. My suicidal thoughts are overwhelming, and I […]
I want to go back. Change everything. There was so much potential for happiness in my life. If only I hadn’t been such a fucking asshole. But now it’s too late. Now I’ve become this thing that I can’t let anyone see. I can’t make a connection with anyone because I have to put on an act. Pretend I’m a decent person, not a disgusting oxygen-thief. Can’t change myself to become decent. There’s some things you can’t come back from. I’m not sure what the right thing would be from this point. I’m guessing it would hurt. A lot. Me, and my family. A whole […]
Everything about me is one big fat motherfucking LIE!
My smile…. Fake as Fuck.
My conversation with people… Lies
Conversation with my family… Lies
I’M DYING people! I’m really dying.
I secretly cry in my room, wipe away my tears and have supper with my family like nothing happened.
My frown immediately turns upside down if someone asks if I’m okay.
I’m tired. I’m tired of faking. I’m tired of crying in silence. I’m just tired of everything. I’m tired of life.
I don’t want to be here anymore. But I can’t go just yet. I keep saying this over and over again. I keep repeating myself over and over again. […]
This is my second post. I still feel depressed. I lost my baby and can’t seem to get over it. My dad tells me I’m fat everyday and says I should go to the gym but I don’t really want my bump to go away…at least not yet. I even miss the asshole of the father of my baby even thou he mistreated me and is happy as it could be. I can’t trust anyone. I feel alone. My family is not supportive. I wish to be gone.
I can’t wait any longer, all I can think about is how useless I am, how I’ll never get good at drawing, how I’m a burden on my family and everyone I meet. I just can’t wait any longer, tonight I want to take my life. I’m not doing anything good staying here. I think I’m finally ready.
Oknso i am so afaid for tomorrow it’s not normal. My father is probaly gonna come and drag me out of my husbands grandparents house. And. One out of two things are gonna happen .
1. My marriage will break
2. Or i lose all contact with my family
So i dont know how im gonna make threw the night.
And on top of that my brother is getting a divorice and its all my fault.
Why is it my fault because when I first came to fl my parents did not want me here and threaten to drag me put of my inlaws house were i […]
I think we should have the right to die no matter the situation. Transgender people have the right to completely change their lives if they choose to. If a transgender male wants to have his penis removed , he goes in for evaluation and see if that’s what he really wants . after a year I think and after tons of questions to make sure that’s what he wants BAM! The penis is gone. Even if family and society disagrees, he has the right to change his life if he choses to and he’s allow to do so. His body, his mind and his life.
Now […]
I had everything going for me before college. I grew up in a great family, we loved each other, and I had an awesome relationship with God. Seriously, he was my best friend. One of the things I couldn’t understand, though, was grace. How the hell could he put the sins of nations onto one man and just forget what we’ve done?
Im in college now. I wanted to die 5 times in the last 2 years. I just couldn’t make the pain stop. So I let go of my faith in God. I don’t really care about sin, being reckless, or being happy. The only […]
So I know warmer weather is coming soon and normally I’d be very excited because I love warm weather, but this year I’m dreading it because of my arm scars.
Last year I cut myself very badly on my wrist, I did it so badly that I get very sick from blood loss and I couldn’t get up without throwing up and my vision going blurry for a couple days. I know there is no reasonable excuse for them because they are very obviously self-inflicted so, I have been wrapping bandages around my arm and just telling people I hurt it.
I’m looking for excuses for why […]
Was wondering if anyone one here has tried this before, kind of like running away I suppose.
I’ve had this idea now for a while and honestly I’m really wanting to go through with it.
I’m 17, failing college, deeply depressed, I have no idea what I’m doing with my life any more and some days it’s a miracle I am even here the next morning. For a while now I have had this idea in my head to pack my bag and leave a note to my family basically saying “Don’t look for me, I will find you when I’m ready.” After leaving home my plan […]
(….all of the words I wish I could say….)
My dearest,
I know you will never see this, however, I have to get this off my chest. I can pretend for a little while, at least for a fleeting moment, that you’ll see this note and your sea blue eyes will look on my words. I can dream, anyway– even if I have not slept for two days, I can day dream that you will read this. I can pretend you’re here, and that this nightmare that has become life never began.
This nightmare used to be a story of friendship and love, but it is now something […]
I don’t understand how someone with so much love in their heart can kill someone so young. I don’t get it.
But I have a question for all of you:
If you have had a family member or a friend or lover that was a murderer, do you still love them, or hate them for the crime they have committed? Or do you hate the crime they committed and still love them? I would like to know. I know it is personal, but I am at a loss for words at what has happened and need to know I am not […]
im a young adult with no future and i have no help support or friends,i tried taking my life last year and i ended up throwing up and choking it was awful and i think i got lucky,i then i tried again and failed,and now i think im honestly going to go even further then i have before,i use several different sites to come on and unload but people either don’t care or they think im a teenager,i know the best people can do is tell me to reach out but they don’t understand that the mental health system has failed me and that i […]
So a couple months ago I found out I had been selected to go to a international competition to represent my country in a sport I compete in (There are about 5 countries involved and this is for high school aged kids). Anyways it’s still in a couple of months and there are lots of things that could happen that prevent me from going before then. But anyways, let me get to the point, my family; Grandparents, parents etc. have been telling almost everyone, someone actually posted it on FB for all there friends to see, and I know they are just supporting me and […]
I think I can do it, actually I know I can. I can accept my guilt, I don’t need to throw away my morals. It will hurt my family but that’s okay, they’ll know I’ll finally be at peace. I can end this, I will finish this. No more will I be a part of this circus. My dream will come true and I will finally get some sleep. I have hope that I can be free once and for all.
Dale swerved his car drunkenly up his long sloped driveway, barely stopping before the big oak tree at the top. He stumbles out of his car, barely able to find his own legs. His family dog, Conroy, lays coward while tethered to the porch. Conroy’s tail tucks underneath him as he whimpers, sensing the state of of Dales condition.
“Shut up mutt” Dale slurs, approaching the dog in an aggressive, albeit staggering motion.
Suddenly flashes and streaks stream around in a whirlwind. Somehow louder than a sonic boom but quieter than a whisper. Conroy’s gone. Dale mumbles, rubbing his eyes. Still no Conroy.
Thinking he’s […]
Well hey im 15 and tonight i told my mum what i’ve thinking for 4 years.. i wanted to disappear. Its not like i want to die or commit suicide, also i just hate the word suicide and people say “commit” suicide, it sounds like its a crime, but its not.
Well so I told my mind that I was just so sick and tired of life and didnt wanted to do anything. I just want to fade away and disappear. And if I do die I want to die by someone else or by an accident. So I don’t have to feel horrible by making […]
Is it so bad that i want to ended all. I mean who will even miss me? Not my family i know that for sure. but then why is it that every time i try it it feels like if i was doing something bad? I wish i had the courage of doing it. If i ever have the courage i hope the pain goes away immediately. I talked to my mom the other day and like always she just said it was my fault. I don’t know why i even picked up. Its always the same story with her. I shouldn’t allow hope, its […]