Tag:

feels

Once More (without feeling)

by thehusk 11/17/2015

written by thehusk

I’m sure I’ve written many variations of this here before, but what the hell.

I’m a failure, as a human being. By pretty much any standard you can think of. That’s not going to change. There’s no future version of me that doesn’t feel alone, anxious and exhausted all the time. That can be happy and relaxed around others.

I can’t change the past. I can’t control the way I feel. I can’t really change the world we live in. These things are not mine to decide.

And yet here I am, still alive. For the foreseeable future. So, what do I want to do with this undeserved […]

11/17/2015 2 comments

I never thought this would happen to me…

by Lawli 11/14/2015

written by Lawli

When I was a little kid I didn’t understand why people would be so sad and depressed, I didn’t understand any of this. I thought they just needed to tough up.

Now I am a 15 year old and all I want to do is disappear. I want to just leave and sethre all the relationships I have. I don’t want to die but I would die to disappear.

Last year when I was 14 I started getting severely depressed, but then I didn’t know what depression was. I just wanted to start running away and never turn back, I wanted to disappear so badly I would […]

11/14/2015 2 comments

Near the end

by Timetogo502 11/13/2015

written by Timetogo502

I lived with this disease for many years and have yet to achieve peace. I have been able to hide it from many people by pushing them away when it gets bad. I want to leave so badly to make it all end, but I don’t have it in me (yet) to leave my young son. I know my wife is planning on leaving me and due to my condition, she will get full custody. I am not really sure what to do. Part of me wants to pack a bag & head somewhere to make it all go away and the other part is […]

11/13/2015 3 comments

I just don’t know anymore

by deep002 11/12/2015

written by deep002

I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore. Almost feels like I am just wasting life away. I have no idea what I want to do in life. I thought I had it figured out in high school, but when I realized I wasn’t able to afford university, I felt depressed. The reason I got good grades in school was to get into university; now I had to settle with community college. And if I was going to community college, what was the point of getting good grades? What’s the point of straight A’s if you go to community college? They don’t care. When […]

11/12/2015 2 comments

escapade

by IWAS 11/11/2015

written by IWAS

I want to die.

Isn’t this blog called “thesuicideproject”? so I am going to write about dying.

in case you are mistaking me to someone like Hazel Grace or Augustus Waters or the dying girl or Kate or anyone else who were dying in books, I do not have cancer nor TB nor any sickness that will cause my death. for short I am not dying, I simply just want to die.

if anyone of you have read J.D Salinger’s one and only published book, “The Catcher in the Rye”, I somehow feel like his main character there, Holden Caulfield, which is technically J.D Salinger fictionalized, because the […]

11/11/2015 3 comments

Some stuff I wrote for a friend

by thelost 11/11/2015

written by thelost

Gorgeous, that’s all he knows her as. He knows she has a real name, and that there’s a real face behind that picture, but he likes to imagine that same face laughing, smiling, blushing. He feels something in his chest when he speaks to her, but he feels for the other as well. They are friends, him and her, and their playful banter often lasts hours. She calls him cruel for the compliments he gives, and he calls her Gorgeous. The makeup runs down her cheek in the picture, but when he pictures her, he sees those piercing blue eyes looking at him, or some […]

11/11/2015 2 comments

i am weak

by ShortOne 11/10/2015

written by ShortOne

okay, so i am very very very lonely. and im sorry if this isnt a well written passage but i just need to try and talk for a moment. i want to die. and i hate myself for wanting it. i hate myself for feeling that i need it. that im not good enough to fix myeslf or to make myself stronger. i hate that i even think of leaving all the people and the places behimd even when it feels like theyre gone and ill never be able to get them back. i hate a lot of things. mostly just myself though. all the […]

11/10/2015 11 comments

by theresa_riot 11/10/2015

written by theresa_riot

I’m thinking a week from Thursday, if I can get my hands on what I need. This time feels different. I’m not in the pits of despair. I’m just tired. Too tired to keep going. I want to sleep.

11/10/2015 4 comments

Him

by What'swrongwithme 11/10/2015

written by What'swrongwithme

So there’s this guy that I’ve been talking to for more than a month and he’s depressed he really needs help he’s been through a world of pain I want him to get help so bad but I don’t think he’ll listen to me he told me last night that he wants to kill him self he said he won’t do it now but one day he will explode and do it he really needs help but how do I convince him to get help I love him very much and he loves me to and no matter what I will always be by his […]

11/10/2015 2 comments

Words

by Harlot.Rebel 11/9/2015

written by Harlot.Rebel

How dare you choose liqour over me.!! How can you laugh and carry on while i cut and cry. Hundreds of miles away from home. No love there either. I find myself in a invisible hole my little suicidal hell hole. I never thought i would reach out to people i dont know but i need help somthing that a doctor or psychiatrist cant give me right now i need someone that understands how it feels to be blatantly fucked over by the ones you love. Just need advice to stay strong.

11/9/2015 6 comments

Stuck.

by scythe 11/4/2015

written by scythe

I’ve been stuck in the same place for almost 4 years now. I’m a 26 year old male who graduated college 4 years ago. I never knew what I wanted to do with my life but went to college simply because I thought I was supposed to. Since then I’ve been working at a lowly part time dead end job and living with my parents. I’ve looked for work on and off for 4 years now but with my lack of direction and focus I’ve had zero luck. Lately my motivation has been lacking as well, why put all that effort into something […]

11/4/2015 3 comments

A sensible response to a life of fear?

by thehusk 11/4/2015

written by thehusk

What is it that keeps dragging me back to this point, wondering whether it’s worth living?

In short, fear. My constant companion, though it fluctuates. Sometimes the intense panic of social anxiety. Others the restless despair of a perceived future. It gnaws away in the back of my mind when I try to relax or enjoy myself. It chases me through my dreams.

It is always there, telling me that something is terribly wrong, requiring all my attention – that nothing else can be enjoyed until it is resolved.

So, what is it that I’m so afraid of? At route, it’s that who I am is fundamentally unacceptable to other […]

11/4/2015 13 comments

This song is too accurate when I think of her

by thelost 10/31/2015

written by thelost

http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/07-Six.m4a

I know that a lot of you probably don’t like screamo, or just can’t understand it, but I was playing some songs I haven’t listened to in a while, and this hit just a little bit too close to home. It reminds me of my ex, and weirdly enough, the girl I’m chasing right now. It isn’t healthy to feel this way, but sometimes it feels so good to just hurt. Anything is better than the numbness I feel each day, which steals all the happiness away, along with my pain. Thanks to anybody who takes the time to read. I know that people […]

10/31/2015 2 comments

Fake substance, for fake feelings, for a fake world

by Rotted_Flesh 10/30/2015

written by Rotted_Flesh

Almost everything I do seems like a remedy for something already wrong in my life. It’s not that I don’t know what happiness is or haven’t experienced bliss at one point, but nowadays it feels like I’m merely living just to survive and for what I think is “right”. It’s like I’m contemplating the simplest actions every single time before they take place, even my thoughts feel like they are preconceived without my authority. I’m becoming more and more detached from reality, society, and people in general. I want to connect to the world, but there are factors that limit me, and I’m forever with […]

10/30/2015 2 comments

Is this recovery?

by onlyoption 10/27/2015

written by onlyoption

The last few days have been the worst in a while. He doesn’t like my scars and said its a deal breaker if I cut again. he doesn’t like me smoking or drinking. he hates that suicide crosses my mind every day. ive been so depressed, and I am forbidden from using my coping strategies. I tied myself a noose last night, just in case. I held the blade against my skin and managed to resist slicing. I beat myself with a belt tonight to try and feel something again. He doesn’t like how skinny I am, even though ive put on 5lb for him […]

10/27/2015 3 comments

let’s vibe :)

by L0STgirl 10/23/2015

written by L0STgirl

thousands and thousands of miles may separate us but we are all somehow connected in a weird type of way. nobody really understand us so we all find ourselves here writing as a last ditch effort to miraculously get saved. writing eases my mind and it feels as if the weight of the world somehow gets lifted off my shoulders for a hot second. but lets face it, this site is not interactive enough for me. really looking to make more friends who understands the struggles I continue to face day in and day out. so email me and lets vibe. email: splostgirl hope to […]

10/23/2015 1 comment

It got better

by Justastatistic 10/22/2015

written by Justastatistic

A couple of months ago I was so sure that I wanted life to end.

I’m not trying to discredit anyone who feels that way right now, your feelings are 100% valid. But for me, it got better, and in a forum of people on the verge of giving up, I’d like to share what happened to me when I didn’t give up, while its still fresh.

My husband of two years has been cheating on me since we were engaged, though I didn’t find this out until a month after the wedding. I begged, pleaded, cut, cried, drank, none of it helped. It’s as though faithfulness […]

10/22/2015 5 comments

what to do, what to do.

by L0STgirl 10/22/2015

written by L0STgirl

when you told me you loved me, I believed you. now your nowhere to be found and I’m here falling off the deep end with nobody to catch me. this fall feels never ending, like I’m stuck in time, just floating there in emotions greater than sadness, pain, and loss. I’m trapped with no way out. You, you were suppose to save me, I can’t save myself. but now thats my only option. how can one save themselves when they look in the mirror and see absolutely nothing, I don’t even feel worthless, its greater than that, greater than disappointment. it’s just nothing. that’s when […]

10/22/2015 3 comments

It was my birthday…

by soul_survivor 10/22/2015

written by soul_survivor

It was my birthday, and I didn’t want to live anymore.
I had just been dropped off by two friends from a night of excessive drinking and supposed celebration the night before. Everyone was excited for my birthday. I didn’t know why I wasn’t.
I hadn’t slept. I had lost count of the number of white lines that hit my brain through the vacuum of my nostrils. The alcohol slumped through my veins and with the cocaine now wearing off, I felt heavy. I had been thinking the whole evening, during fits of laughter, drunken miscommunication, and naked strippers, about my no longer wishing to […]

10/22/2015 2 comments

Illness of Stress and Parents. Help Would Be Greatly Appricated

by GerbzBaby 10/21/2015

written by GerbzBaby

Stress has been making me feel ill lately. My chest feels tight, I’m more tiered than usual, my eating habits have declined, I’m more confined in my room, and my temper had been flaring on and off. The only things I can think about to get away from this is running away, or just ending it. But those are things I don’t want to do. But this “family vacation” we are taking in December is making me stressed to the point of feeling sick. Why you ask? Here is why-

One: The Plane Ride

Two: The Other Family

The other family is an ‘old family friend’ of ours. […]

10/21/2015 2 comments

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