8 fucking years and we got put together again wow im amazed how after that long we still act like best friends and now were back to being over 2000 miles apart but this time were doing it right were not going to go into 8+ years of silence i could see it in your eyes how happy you were to see me and sad i couldnt stay longer i even felt it as u held me close in front of our families. how everytime u let me out of your arms you looked so hurt. i know we get to do this right now […]
Tag:
Friendship
Why are we able to suffer to the point of wanting to die?
Why are we driven to search pleasure in things like love, friendship, dreams, that can as well completely destroy us?
Why we have to struggle to make our lives worth the effort?
Why are we so weak?
Why things are designed the way they are; why we can’t just be happy forever and ever, no pain, no fear; why we fight to fix this.
I’ve always been lonely. It’s like I don’t belong at all( new to this site)
written by suchalonglastname
Hello everyone. I don’t understand my depression and often times I want to kill myself for being so goddamn fucking stupid and putting my boyfriend through hell. Me and my brother both have clinical depression. This isn’t something that can be fixed with just “positive thinking”. We need our anti-depressents. I hate to say the most cliche thing any depressed person could ever say but I really have always been a lonely person who never could hold a friendship. Kids wouldn’t tease me,They would belittle me. This isn’t what has made me depressed but this has shaped my lack of social skills. This world and […]
Its almost the summer, and i feel alittle paniced. Ive decided i would like to die in the summer time, none of my friends will every know im gone next year at school. However life has basically just put an obsticle in my way. my best guy friend, i now have feelings for. maybe i even love him?(even puppy love) Its taring me in two. a part of me wants him BAD. I feel jealous when i see him with other girls, when he posts heart on other girls walls. I want him so bad and i dont know why. I just want to kiss […]
my name is robert, and i am having difficulties with life at the moment, i guess you can say that i am not as depressing , i am very strong actually but even the toughest can fall down sometimes. i have a emotional attachemtn problem , my problem is that i fell in love and i don’t know how to let go. it started of as friends typical right? but it was so great , the greatest friends you could find ;were not that regular we like to do the same things we love only horror movies , we like earie things ,murder cases,stuff like […]
The only silver lining was my BFF laura who was there for me and knew all of my sufferings and pain, she was who i confidended in when nan left. It felt like she’d stabbed me in the back from the front and left a wound so big and so deep that it still bleeds today. For 7 year we were everything to each other and in a matter of days she tossed me aside like an old rag. We went from being inseperable to seperable, we use to be able to tell each other everything and now we sit side by side and don’t say a […]
Goddamn, but it hurts. And there are too many similarities between all my experiences, too many for comfort. It makes me feel ugly and uncertain. It feels so UNJUST, you know?
What is “fair”, anyways?
It’s my lack of trust, which hurts me so much. So much. and I think they misunderstand me. But how much am I to blame?
I’m trying so hard to stand up for myself, to respect MYSELF. And I realize I can be so destructive, which is why I keep everything bottled up inside in an attempt to be “fair” and not hurt anyone. But all that bottled stuff is constantly poisoning me […]
…You would think that my heart would stop allowing them in. You would think that my brain would stop being a pushover and finally tell my heart what to do. You would think that my heart had become so callous and cold from the way that I was treated, but it is not. I’ve been able to shoot and kill people and flinch not. I’ve been able to bloody a face beyond recognition and not feel an ounce of remorse…You would think I was cold…but yet, I allow myself to love again, care again. Repaving the painful path of cutting and suicidal thoughts taking the chance […]
out of all fucking people, why did i have to fall inlove with my best friend?! we used to have a “thing” she used to like me. but she said she doesnt wanna lose our friendship because im her best friend. everyone i know can just tell im in love with her. and i hate admitting. i told her once when i went out of the city for a week and i told her i said that cos i missed her so much. i always look her in the eyes and say im not in love with her, but in realaty i think she is […]
I woke up this morning and the first thought that came in to my head, as always, is that I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be in this house, in this city, in this country, in my life.
Feeling like this all the time just isn’t normal. There was a time when I was younger I could forget it all, brush off my worries with my friends and alcohol and even when I couldn’t, when it came down to the worse-than-usual days I had my friends to keep me going. I had 3 very good friends back then, 2 neighbours who […]
I always have great imagination, i can simulate what’s going to happen in the near future
but what i see is always a dull boring life, of course i also tried challenging and less predictable activities like mountain climbing and ruins exploring, but in the end nothing happened and i went back to my boring life
I always wished i would just kick the bucket during one of my journeys, but to no avail. I have always survived and while it was a refreshing experience, the excitement won’t last even for a day, daily life is just too boring god……..
as much as i wished for a “switch […]
I’m an Iraq vet, split with my wife over a year ago. I’ve failed at every job I’ve gotten since my discharge, ruined every friendship in my life, and have no prospects for the future. No artistic or creative talents, failing familial ties, and I am just tired all the time. I’m slowly researching different methods for ending my life. I know it would be great to stick arou d long enough to see my baby nephew grow up, but that would entail continuing to live, and I am an utter failure at all of the things that modern living entails. I have no desire […]
I always feel so alone. I just want someone to hold me and tell me they love me. I want to trust that my friends actually are my friends, and aren’t just nice to me because they feel bad for me. I want them to come to my room (I live at a residential school), instead of me always going to their room. I want them to message me first. I want to know that they love me. They are all that keep me here; if they leave me, I’ll leave the world. I want their faces to light up when they see me, the […]
I feel really abandoned. This is related to events occurring months ago, but I feel a resurgence of the emotional pain. All my friends from college save two stopped talking to me about a month or so after I graduated in December. When friends leave I usually let that happen because I know friends come and go; however, I’m twenty-three with no current future plans, so these friends were my only social network. And they just stopped communicating with me. They moved on, so I can’t blame them specifically, yet it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m upset and alone. I’m really well-meaning, and […]
Before I begin, if you might want to read my previous post for some context. Â http://suicideproject.org/2012/03/want-to-just-die/
I’m still here. Â Not much of an accomplishment really. Â Still depressed. Â Still having very suicidal thoughts. Â Not constantly, but it’s like they’re always there, waiting for me to have just one very bad day.
My ex and I were friends. Â The she just stopped returning my texts. Â I didn’t know why. Â Still not sure I do. Â About three weeks ago. Â I texted her and basically wouldn’t stop until she told me what was going on. Â All she said was that I can be annoying somtimes. Â I admit that sometimes this […]
Wamth of the sun beaming down to encourage growth and strength.
Cool breeze of the wind curls and carouses around the body cooling the soul.
Rain bursts from the cloud cover and washes the grit away.
Grass as green as a novice carpeting the ground and tickling the toes.
Trees tall and majestic reaching up and out to shade and protect.
Bushes sitting quietly awaiting the pruning shears of the endaring gardener.
Stones of all kinds absorb and hold the heat of the sun being children of mother earth.
Sky as blue and mesmerizing as the eyes of an Alaskan Husky staring at you in friendship.
All living things energetic and frolicking in […]
I am a pedophile. There, it’s out in the open for the first time ever. I have sexual feelings towards boys, and it is breaking me down. It started in my childhood, when I experimented with a friend who was the same age, and now I’m stuck with it. I’m in my twenties now, and although I have never abused a child, I do have fantasies and I have visited illegal websites countless times. I don’t feel anything for women, and I’ve never had a girlfriend.
On top of this, I’ve recently been put aside by people whom I considered to be my best friends. They […]
Dear Whoever Is Reading This,
Hi, i’m Maya. I’m 13 years old now, & turning 14 in a couple months. I’m very short for my age (4’11), I have long black hair, I’m Japanese, I’m a dancer, & I believe that God made me beautiful. Seems great, right?
Lets start from the beginning of my life. From when i was first born to about age 8, i was the happiest kid you could ever meet. I was an angel child, too. I never cried when my family was trying to sleep, I was nice to everyone & everyone was the same toward me, teachers loved me, I […]
You think you’re the loneliest person out there?
Think again,
High school has been the loneliest, hardest time.
I’m not going to go into detail but I’ve always been fairly lonely due to my social issues (self diagnosed, selective mutism)or whatever you want to call it. (I heard my mom talk to someone saying how I was assessed for the possibility of selective mutism, but it came out as negative apparently…
It had to have definitely been overlooked, as I usually didn’t talk unless spoken to, mostly in school and in unfamiliar territory.
People had to come up to me first, initiating friendship. I really don’t know what is the […]
i did not die, which I assume a few of you thought since I never ended up getting back on this site until now. Â I was deceived and betrayed.
To make a long story short, I called jackie’s house, she told me she wanted to be best friends with me and that she truly cared about me. Â My parents and jackie’s parents both told me that nothing bad was going to happen, that everything was going to get fixed, that me and jackie would get to be friends again. Â They said the police would not be waiting for me, that I was not going to be […]