Well, things have gotten worse. My parents found out that I was going on this site (they went through my search history, apparently privacy is a privilege that I can’t have) and they were furious. They sent me to some doctor who diagnosed me with bipolar disorder and OCD (yey me). Oh, and I still don’t have any friends. At least the weather is warming up, gonna get to use that charcoal and tent soon.
So I got it, but aparently it’s made by a company in India lol. The only complaints I’ve seen about it are that it’s a little weaker than its supposed to be, though it still works sooo…yay. Tested one out a little while ago. Waiting to see any effects. It had a strong smell though, don’t know how to describe it. I guess it just smelled…old? And I guess I’m gonna keep having updates until I decide to end things.
Anyone have experience with therapists? I have social anxiety and I think its leading to depression, but I refuse to go to someone who’s gonna throw me some pills and kick me out.
I love how when every body talks about my in-laws and parents and how my parents are over reacting for no reason(they kinda are). No one talkes about the two years of mental abuse from the in laws .the man reason why I din’t want to go to tahoe in there first place . but Im on my way and on my way to death mentaly emotionally hope full pyschicly too Im so tired .
gonna go have to break the news to my rents and eat shit whoo.
I haven’t had anyone do my taxes yet, as this week’s already been planned out for me, so I have to wait for next week to see if I can get one of the free spots for doing taxes. I tried to do it online and found that I’d owe $1000 to federal and $200 to the state, and why I don’t fucking know. It makes no sense. My boss says I make too little for taxes to be taken from my checks, so the gov won’t take anything week to week but expect $1000 in a lump fucking sum at the end of the […]
So like March 24th I put a post up So Now What? Basically saying something random and this is what it said:
“When i’m bored, I send a text to a random number saying “I hid the body… now what?”
So I found this… And when I was out it happened luckily people were able to take a joke I was scared the police were gonna get called… So… Yep… anyone keen?
I used to think that funerals were for the dead, to let them depart and celebrate their life but now I know they are just for the living, for the people to say goodbye and help mourn the loss. Thats why when I take my life I’m gonna have in the letter that I wanna be cremated because I dont want my body to be left here in the ground I want it burned away as my soul goes on.
Also whats your guys thoughts on burials/cremation??
https://youtu.be/c7ktDJtXvFw
Why try? I’m that guy
Holden Caulfield from “Catcher In The Rye”
Put away ’cause he wasn’t all there
Like a jigsaw puzzle you might compare
Me to him not a liver but wurst
Been much better off as a still birth
Big let down unparalleled
Like the last episode of “Seinfeld”
Or Jack Lemmon in “Glengarry Glen Ross”
Pepsi Challenge took it lost
Just fizzed out with my wires crossed
Buttons pushed but never went off
Like Martha I will self-destruct
The name’s Dunnstock it’s not Dumptruck
Just cursed as fuck with no such luck
My future plans include not much
Never gonna be never […]
You are wrong, fucked, and overrated!
I think I’m gonna be sick and it’s your fault!
This is the end of everything.
You are the end of everything.
I haven’t slept since I woke up and found my whole life was a lie, ************!
This is the end of everything.
You are the end of everything!
AAAHHH…
Shallow skin, I can paint with pain.
I mark the trails on my arms with your disdain.
Everyday it’s the same – I LOVE, YOU HATE.
But I guess I don’t care any more.
AAAHHH…
Fix my problems with the blade.
While my eyes turn from blue to gray.
God, the […]
My hearts pounding.
I want to call it quits for tonight, and go to bed.
Its only 10 PM. This’ll be the first time going to bed at 10 PM (before midnight) after months, and years and …
Too long.
I am not moving.
I am not caring.
I am sad and helpless and I need something
i’m holding onto my head stressing about going to bed so early. I haven’t done this before. What if I get horrible sleep paralysis tonight? This is a horrible decision. I’m going to be so f;ing–
Help. Someone help. Its wrong it feels wrong.
I gotta say some of this is my OCD crap. Its as if […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Here I am just like before
Siting on the bathroom floor
I said I wouldn’t
But I’m a little *****
Now that I’ve told you
Don’t be a snitch
The bleeding won’t stop
You’re gonna want a mop
I’ve never cut this deep
But don’t you say a peep
Say I ran away, this is our little lie
Pretend I didn’t tell a soul goodbye
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So here’s my last post for the night… Here have some lyrics a song by Marilyn Manson Originally by Eurythmics
Sweet dreams are made of these
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody’s looking for somethingSome of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abusedSweet dreams are made of these
Who had a mind to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody’s looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I was having doubts about this, but now I’m ready. Do you know what finally set me off? My mom. It was a good day, my brother started teaching me how to drive, my dad was just in his room, and my mom was watching tv. And my dad came out to ask about what we should do about our insurance. I don’t know why, but my mom started yelling saying that that should be his responsibility and that other families have everything sorted out. My family isn’t the richest, and whenever my dad does something without my mom’s knowledge she rages and when my […]
I don’t want to be here anymore. I regret it everytime I come. If I ever helped someone with my words then great. I know what I did and didn’t do or say to the one I’m sad over. I still endure those feelings, but I did this to myself. Like I’ve always done before and relized it now. If I was thankful for not killing myself when I had the strength to, I would say it. I’m going to be something I loathe, a cut-throat type of person because I know I won’t find happiness like that again. I’ll either […]
so it’s me again. i’ll probably be writing posts all day long, spilling my dark and unforgiving past onto the internet for all to see. so. yeah. i already told you a bit about my goddamned life before, and so keeping that in mind, i’ll tell you more about what i call “my personal hell on earth”. great, right? no? yeah, i thought that’s what you were gonna say. i’ll be back at approx. 12:30 (my time) with juicy details about my sucky life.
Hi to anyone who reads this. I won’t say a lot. But yesterday I lost everything, my bf broke up with me yesterday. This might sound stupid to some but it’s the truth. I was so attached to this boy we got into a stuipd fight yesterday and it escallated very fast. He started calling me a slut which I ain’t. I’m not the type to argue so I didn’t care what he called but it fucking hurt cause I thought he different he seemed so sweet but he just put on a front. Then yesterday he blasted me on fb saying I’m a slut […]
I started a new smaller school back in October and basically its for kids with emotional and social problems. It is now the end of February and I haven’t made a single friend which I guess is kinda sad but I’m just really bad with social interactions. I basically sit at the corner seat and dont talk to anyone all day. There is this girl who loves anime (I also love anime) and I would say I have a really good chance with her but its so hard for me to talk to her because I hardly ever see her and shes not in any […]