I’m thankful I have a place to sleep. It may not be a bed but it’s better than on mud and grass. I may not want to be here. But it’s better I guess. Even if this place is horrible for my sanity and mental stability. I’m just waiting for the PTSD to kick in. If he comes near me I’ll just rip his throat open. I’m glad he is gone during the night hours and asleep during the day. I don’t have to see him. But that doesn’t change the past. That doesn’t change what it did to me and continues to do. I’m […]
I’ve lost 2 relatives that I was close to, both times I was woken up in the middle of the night and told they died. I get so afraid to sleep, in fact one of my worst fears is that I will loose my very closest and dearest loved ones while I sleep. I’ve had nightmares that it has happened and I wake up sobbing. My aunt died and they woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me. I have been battling some depression and Monday felt like a good day for me. Then I find out this morning that not […]
My story starts from the age of 4 where I was physically abused by one my caregivers right until they left. The age of 5 I was sent to a horrible school bullied from day 1 not only was I bullied from the students I was bullied by some of the teachers. Being name called, pushed, punched, objects thrown at me wasn’t exactly a fun time. I ended up only going to that school for a year. I was transferred to another school with a horrible principal, some horrible teachers, kids with a lot of problems/issue (some of those kids taking out their problems on […]
why can’t life be simple ? why do we have to go though so much pain and suffering ? why must the good die young and the rest get left to rot ? why is the world such a horrible place ? How can we find our purpose in life if we don’t even no were to begin ? Why am I fighting to live if I’m just living to die
Life is hard as it is let alone going though everyday depressed anxious and suicidal how much more suffering can one person go though maybe it’s my destiny to die early
I just want to get away from me!
I don’t know what to do, all I have is a hope that it’ll be over soon if I can be brave for once in my life and just kill myself I’m so sick of being alive it’s so fake nothing about this is real. How can this be what life is supposed to be like I hate it I want off this ride I’m so done. Nothing even happened it’s just a culmination of my life I’m so sick of my memories my thoughts my worries. All I wanted I think out of […]
Life is always so strange when you know that you’re not going to die of natural causes.
And by strange, I mean that it’s like… Getting a case of horrible stage fright that gets even worse the closer you get. I wonder how bad it’s going to get when I join the marines.
It was horrible, beyond any measure I could have anticipated.. I guess I should have known, but clearly didn’t. I was treated less than human, my basic rights suddenly stripped, walking around in hospital-issued scrubs in a daze, trapped, awaiting doctor’s orders for release.
3 days locked in the confinement of the behavioral wing of the hospital, constantly supervised, your every movement documented, got to go outside once, for some 15 minutes. It was so horrible, all I could think was “get me out of here”, and now that I am out, hardly do I feel any better, but surely for the worse.
Everything feels […]
Hey everyone, so this is something that has caused me a lot of stress and fear lately. I’m terrified to go to the doctor because I have horrible scars on my arm and hips. Doctors look you over and if for any reason I’d need to roll up my sleeve or they’d see my hips, they’d see my scars. Do you think they’d send me to a mental hospital if the saw them? I’ve been refusing to go to the doctor and it’s very difficult for me to tell a doctor about my depression as I once had a doctor who I went to get […]
The only thing that ever made me happy about my race or my culture.Is the fact I come from a long line of cons and thieves. In normal perspective that is a horrible trait to be proud of.
But on this site about dead end jobs shity shcool system’s. Makes me a lilttle happy that because of my family life style if i wake up and hustle my ass off and hopefully meet someone. the owner of some billion dollor whatever or heiress of something and just talk and get what i want out of them ill be set no one can tell me shit . not […]
Why can’t life be simple why do we have to go though so much pain and suffering why is the world such a horrible place what is our purpose for being here I didn’t ask to be born so why must I ask to leave with out feeling guilty
i envy the people born into a happy homes loving family money etc I think they get the best chance of life wile the rest start from the ground up but how can you start building if u haven’t even got a fucking dream or no were to start ?
but that’s just me how’s everyone
Dad died when i was 47 days old. it was a car accident and the person on the other car died as well. I know it’s wrong, but sometimes I wish Mom was the one in that car. I know for sure that I would be happier. Is that wrong? that i sort-of wish mom would die? I know it sounds horrible… but what can I do? I’m a monster. I can’t feel a damn thing. I saw how one of my best friends was crying her eyes out today because her grandma died and i … I couldn’t feel anything. Not a single thing. […]
I finally realized that I’m depressed; and death enters my mind like a lost cat tiptoeing in my mind, giving a small purr. I’ve never been good at life. It feels like a job. Even when I was young, I wished for death. It’s strange hoping to die when you’re 10 years old.
I read Anne Sexton’s poetry all of the time, like they’re my words:
“Even then I have nothing against life. I know well the grass blades you mention, the furniture you have placed under the sun. But suicides have a special language. Like carpenters they want to know which tools. They never ask why […]
I have an English persuasive speech due.
Not to worry, its for the 7th of April,
I’ll be dead on the 6th.
We still have to do the work. All the writing and stuff. This gives me extreme anxiety. My heart keeps racing. I’m very panicked. Practice it in front of our class, get graded on it.
Wanted to do it on Euthanasia, but its going to be legalized soon here, so whats the point in going FOR it?
I’d go against it, but what arguments can I possibly have?
I’m very stressed.
This persuasive essay thing gives me so much anxiety.
I can’t eat or sleep or think. I feel horrible.
I’d kill […]
The lighting is noticeably awful and I couldn’t get a good angle so it makes my shading and tones patchy when they’re not, but I finally finished working into this piece for college (there’s shadows over the drawing, but we’re pretending they’re not there now).
Everything’s getting worse slowly, so it didn’t turn it as well as it was supposed to, but I can live with it.
Originally I had typed up about my horrible day, but I decided against posting it. So instead, […]
The dead don’t have to struggle day to day the dead don’t have to suffer emotional pain the dead don’t have to battle with them self everyday we are not living just merely surviving each day….
hate waking up dreading to face another day well off I go to the doctors to see if they can fix me with more meds sitting with people coughing at spluttering everywhere some of these people are actually ill yet I’m sitting here physically fine but only if they knew if the doctor could give me a pill to put me to sleep for ever I would proberly go home […]
“somewhere something horrible happens to someone on this earth and I am here.”
I started to think what makes me really sad, to know that people are forced to do things they don’t want, like children getting beat up because they blasphemed, men who are send to die against their will, women forced into submission by their own kin. And the list goes on and on, and I feel how this feels,I saw this things, and just thinking about this makes me so strange, kinda a mix between rage, fear, panic, a horrible feeling. And I don’t know how to cope with it, am I too […]
I am now in college. It has been 3 years since I’ve lost my dad. Its been a hard three years. I am trying so hard to make it in this adult world. I never knew I would be this stressed out. I have been finding so many grey hairs. I am only eighteen. This is crazy. Sometimes I want to give up. There are so many days when I can’t find a way out of my bed to get to class. Last semester I did horrible. I lost my $9,000.00 scholarship. It broke my heart. I don’t know where I’m going to school next […]
Here’s a pretty thorough list of why I suck, and you should hate me. In no particular order….
I obsessively worship artist. Music, pictures, poetry, books, movies, sculpture. Art period. I love it. I want to be an artist. But I suck. I prey on you here, I know you’ll lie to me. I want to believe that lie. But I’m terrible. I’ve spent THOUSANDS!, ON music equipment. To compensate. So I look cool as I finger fuck my way through Teen Spirit. My poetry? Makes me sound like a spoiled ***** angry he got the charcoal Mercedes instead of quartz grey for his birthday. My […]
I have tried everything to keep myself going I’ve tried to see if life gets better. Let me tell you, it doen’t (at least for me). Lets go through what ive done, they say that opening up to someone will help, I thought I could tell my friend because he was good to me and we trusted eachother before. Wrong I told him and he bullied me for it. Now I have know one. My days are the same wake up with no energy, go to school to only expell the only energy I have, cry and eat for an hour and sleep. Yes because […]