I had a great 5 yrs till I moved back home (5 hours away) to help take care of a family member that is declining in health. My family never gets along with me I’m unsure why I felt like I needed to be the bigger person, why I felt that this will be different.
Fast foward…
Im now homeless because I ended my life to help others, I have no money cuz I was living off my savings however I manage to have a “friend” who is lending their sofa/couch till the end of the month. Idk how imma eat, how imma get my […]
Tag:
Hunger
Love is after us 24/7 . But in the end ,you ended up in Hell…if
you make that fault mistake ………………… but mine you ,you’ll
 still be in Love. I am Human but I bleed just like everyone
else. When she has her trying days, I listened to the rocks and
stones that come my way. Â Is this Love? Love is who you,
Surrender too. Whoever ,you think you where. That’s when
ever thing changes, when Love, comes knocking on your
door. Love blinded you to a Fault, it Trust everything. It has
Faith in honor, without question. Believing is to convince
your mind, that the heart in your soul is safe  ,and that […]
I don’t know. I battle this little thing in my head that tells me to stop eating. “Stop eating! Your thighs are getting bigger, your appearance is getting uglier. Stop!” But I don’t listen. I eat away. No, I don’t throw it up, I don’t take laxatives. Nothing. I’m afraid that someday, that voice will win. I want to to stop. I’m craving the taste of hunger pains. It’s an urge inside of me. Why am I like this? I know I will accomplish not eating. I know it. But when?
We are all created to make our own decisions whether to allow or not ourselves to experience loneliness, anger and despair.
I have always easily pondered on my pain (physical and emotional). I am human so I will always regress but I also know the truth- that I am important, you are important. Even though I do not know any of you who visit these boards, I love you and want you to know that your life, your existence is very important. I have struggled with losing family, people I knew in nursing homes and through documentaries of those in Hospice. You may not know or […]
i do not belong, in this world full of love, it’s easy to think things could all get better. trapped in the soul of the devil, consumed by his love for death it turns to be mine. the blade hungers for my skin, i hunger for the feel, it bites me deep and i smile with enjoyment. i can no longer cut as mother searches my body for new wounds of hate, the ashamed look in her eyes, WHY, WHY DO YOU CARE, you never cared for i, till you saw i wanted to die, none did. so instead i turn to pills lots of […]
I hate Life. I hate living. I have lived for so ling and i have yet to find someone that wasn’t “Living the life of kings” Or worshiping the devil with fucing YCMB or whatever those fucking dumbasses call it. Secretly i hunger to find someone like me. Not into those kinds of shit. Anti social, easy to talk to.. Someone i can hug when we both feel sad and want to kill ourselves. Im not sure if this person even exists.. Every girl goes for the alpha these day and not beta fucks like me.. Just today i went to the super marked and […]
Hi, some of you may remember me, some may not, I am Rogue, the one who wanted so badly to join the army. well I had gone through the Military Entrance Processing Station. I did my oath and signed a bunch of papers pledging my loyalty. Little did I know that, until this night at around 9 pm, my mom informed me that there is little to no chance of quitting the army. After a quick 10 seconds of tears as I am having trouble letting them flow, and a few breaths of hyper-ventillation, I realize how fucked I really am. Now there are quite […]
One day I’ll be alright, but for now I’ve got to dream and fight. The future, they say, is oh so bright. But from my view it’s as dark as night.
Shadows upon the walls, demons creep, and darkness calls. There’s no victory, the battle lasts eternally. War zone up ahead, life and death fight in my head. I hear the screams of the dead, the words they whisper, the words they said. echoing, inside my mind. Are you okay? of course, I’m fine. No need to fret. For i’m alright. No I’m honest, it’s not a lie. Even if I just want to die, […]
I am guessing you are gone now. I haven’t heard from you in a while and know you had little rope left, needing what remained to hang from. I never learned your real name and don’t know what you looked like; I only knew you for a few weeks but we shared more in that time than most do in many years. I loved you, my friend. Truth be told, I had a big crush on you too and part of me wishes I had said so. My world was better for your having been in it and I will always remember you and thank […]
I apologise for following such beautiful song lyrics from The Hunger Games with such a negative post.. but I feel this encapsulates the way I’m feeling exactly.
Let me take you on a journey. 19 years ago, my Mother began to emotionally and sometimes physically abuse me over the course of my life. In my eyes, I never had a Mother. I never grew up being nurtured and receiving that maternal, unconditional love. 4 years ago, my Mother physically ‘bashed me up’, in need of a better statement. I left her immediately, I left my little siblings, my friends, comfort, my school, I left EVERYTHING that […]
Hello. This is my first post here. IÂ don’t really know why I’m writing this. I guess I just want to spill it out. May be it will help me to cope with my feelings.
I feel so angry at myself for complaining about my life. I mean look at the world around us. People are dying from hunger, from war, from diseases, from cancer….and here I am. Safe and sound…well…for now…
I’m almost 18. Feel like 12 years old to be honest. How did I even get that old. So fast.
I dont have anything to hold on to. Relationship with my family is…how can i put it…not the one […]
Gives pain to those that are weak and can come out stronger. Endure and take as a reminder that the earthly ties of anguish are still knitted, and no human can untie what was tied by a supreme being. only the spirit and hand of it who laid the blocks and keyholes to that castle has the right to stand and move in it.
I wake to the sound of sadness and betrayal from a thought far far above. Understanding is all I will never get, actions turn to regrets. I lay, in a room, the ceiling is a dark night sky hidden from shooting stars. […]
Today I lay awake trying to will myself to my chores, with a man whom I am not inspired by, with a child I have no motherly passion for I do today entertain my weary mind while I work with the song of the shirt.
With fingers weary and worn, With eyes heavy and red, A woman sits in unwomanly rags, Plying a needle and thread, In poverty hunger and dirt, She lifts her head and sings the song of the shirt
“Work Work Work
While the cock is crowing in the dawn on the roof
and Work Work Work
Till the stars shine on the roof
To this life I […]
I’m 13 years old, turning 14 in March 13. I’m here again. Alone. I’ve been sexually abused by two family members and physically abused by almost every single person in my family. I’ve been beaten with objects. I can still taste the blood inside my mouth when it got busted and bruised. I’m insecure. I have cuts all over my legs and arms. And I have P.E too, we’re forced to wear shorts, I have to run everyday in the lockers and change as fast as possible making sure no one is able to see. I keep my razor inside my phone case, just in […]
I have aspergers sydrome and i thought i would off myself before i reached 18 for many reasons invloling social life, future prospects and depression. I “practises” killing myself by starvation…i would not eat for a few days and that how i decided i would go. After around 24hours i lose the sense of hunger and my movements become sluggish, whether or not i can do it in the end i dont know like resisting tempation.
i didnt do it because i got into the second year of my college course, but i still have seveer depression. now i am saying to myself i will do […]
I read the Hunger Games three times through. I enjoyed them very much. I don’t know why. On the surface, it’s only a story of death and slaughter and twisted human nature. Deeper in, it’s a story of fighting for what you believe and hope, maybe. But the death, and slaughter, and not caring that my perception barely scratched the surface. In those books, so many people died, a bunch of them coughing on their own bodily fluids.
My aunt and I went out to the movies to see it. It was the last movie she saw. A few nights later, she choked on her blood. It made […]
I’m so hungry. Why don’t i eat? It’s so stupid. There’s food but i can’t eat. Everytime i eat now, there is this really pressuring, annoying voice inside my head calling me fat and a big loser. I’m going to stop eating, except for dinner. I just think that if i don’t eat, i’ll be prettyier and skinnier. Not the most truest theory but i’ll try it anyway. Maybe it’ll make things better, maybe it won’t, but i don’t care. When i don’t eat, i feel really skinny and i don’t know why. I’ve got a stomach the size of a whale but when i […]
do you enjoy starting drama? i cant love my family because all they want to do is start drama because its what you thrive on. my father hid me and my sister from the world just so we wouldn’t end up like them and now we have terrible social skills, shes doing better than me though, i cant make friends because when i try to reach out to people they think im creepy or weird. all the people that supposedly love me keep treating me like dirt. i cant find my way and i just dont know what to do anymore but look back on […]
We are all in the Hunger Games, the only difference is our names and faces
written by Crazypandachick
Sure we may not to be able to access to the weapons, or be forced to go and fight, but that doesn’t change the fact that we do. We viciously attack each other in many shapes and forms. Bullying, rape and assault are just some of the extreme ways that some people use to do this. The figures we look up to are the same. Sure they teach us all their good traits and beliefs and aren’t forcing children to kill each other, but it is like Paul says in the book All Quite on the Western Front; “They were suppose to be the ones […]
My sadness is turning into anger, I know that the lack of food is contributing to my irritation but I can’t help to feel abandoned. Out of all the people that said they love me why has no one called? My parents don’t know about my decision to stop eating and keep pressuring me by shoving food in my face and eating my favorite things in front of me I even tossed a slice of pizza out the window and tell them I was eating just to get them to stop, every smell is powerful and temptation is painful. I know they only do it […]
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