Tag:

hurting

In a bad place

by whydoiwantto 2/18/2016

written by whydoiwantto

So it is happening again, the depression and urges of suicide are growing stronger. The temptations are so hard to resist it’s like a chain I can’t escape this feeling. Why live an unhappy life? Depression is lifelong so why put up with this misery? It’s not environmental, I have a good job, good friends… it’s more like a riptide pulling me in no matter how hard I try to swim away.

Here is my story: like many of you my childhood was abusive, I was preyed on early and there are things that happened that I can never forget. I coped with drugs starting in […]

2/18/2016 2 comments

Questioning loneliness

by Moneypenny 2/7/2016

written by Moneypenny

So why does that strange feeling of loneliness is so powerful and confusing?

Lots of people here relate to it.

But sometimes we can be alone and by ourselves without it hurting us, without it even matter.

And then agaim we can be surrounded by people and yet feel we are doomed by the solitude inside us.

What is it all about? How can it make us feel so bad, so wrong, so worthless?

2/7/2016 14 comments

Can’t deal with myself

by Moneypenny 2/5/2016

written by Moneypenny

This last week I was trying to be positive and for a few days I even convinced myself I was geting somewhere, forcing things, denying I was going through the wrong way. But I can’t help hurting myself. I always end up doing it. I turn everything against me and then I crush myself with every drop of energy I have. I can’t deal with me, with the things I say, and the decisions I take. I even hurt myself writing here things I shouldn’t. and talking to people about how ridiculous I am, and I say it as a matter of a fact and […]

2/5/2016 4 comments

Why am I always sore…

by Lawli 1/27/2016

written by Lawli

I didn’t really know were else to come but here so…

I always feel sore somewhere, my hands have had problems for years, my back often gets sore as well as my feet when standing of walking for a long time. My knees can start to hurt too and sometimes my joints feel so uncomfortable, not in a hurting way though, just a weak way. Lately I have also been getting sore hips, or they just feel really weak.

I’m 15 year’s old and I’m quite athletic, I’m pretty sure I eat healthy (Healthy enough) and I am quite fit compared to most other people my age […]

1/27/2016 4 comments

by firefly2411 1/24/2016

written by firefly2411

Does anyone ever feel really alone ? Like they dont have anyone or that the few people that “care about you ” end up hurting you the most .. I feel alone

1/24/2016 8 comments

what is this

by fruitpopsicle 1/12/2016

written by fruitpopsicle

maybe its just me and these strange feelings. I have no idea what it is nor how it started, began, developed and spread faster than a wildfire in the chamber of my heart.
you know that frustrating feeling when the person you care most about is in pain and all the loving, all the caring you poured into will never be able to take the pain away. shes my best friend but maybe shes more than just that, she sees me as any other friends she has but to me, shes a genuinely nice individual whom i cant bear to see in pain.
and all […]

1/12/2016 2 comments

a sick state of mind

by evildandelions 1/2/2016

written by evildandelions

This morning I woke up crying and in physical pain from grief. There’s too much in my mind to write about it all, can’t even form a coherent organization to it all.

But the sick thing is, I woke up wondering if I should take the pills now or go to a thrift store that has 50% sale on saturday. So, basically, I want to buy clothing and then attempt to hurt or kill myself (unlikely, sadly, although maybe if I added vicodin to the mix- klonopin and vicodin are contraindicated) .

I spoke to my ex yesterday. It was good in ways, to know that she misses […]

1/2/2016 4 comments

I can’t even go through with it! This sucks

by tiredthoughts 12/26/2015

written by tiredthoughts

All I want is some peace of mind. And I can’t even do it. Im scared of killing myself. Id probably mess it up if i did try! Life hurts every waking moment. Im stuck, I’m forever hurting, crying, dying to live!

12/26/2015 46 comments

What is wrong with me?

by Ylem 12/15/2015

written by Ylem

It hurts. It really does.
It’s becoming harder and harder to stick to the plan. But I know I have to. I also know that I need help. I need some attention. I need them to realise that I’m suffering.
I can’t fake it anymore. I can’t hide what I’m feeling anymore. I need someone to notice.
I’m not good at talking and letting out what I feel. I just freeze whenever I have to divulge my feelings.
It fucking hurts. They just will never understand.
I know what I’ve been thinking is wrong. I’m contemplating an attempt in the next few days, or tonight […]

12/15/2015 2 comments

Letter to no one and everyone

by the_quiet_1 12/14/2015

written by the_quiet_1

Hi, my name is Angelica Cuenca. I’m 17years old and I’ve been living with depression for about 6 years now. It’s started after I lost my best friend which is my mom from cancer. I stop believing in God because he was supposed to be the good but he took someone that I loved the most, someone that I could talk to no matter what. A week or so my sisters and I went to live with my mom’s parents which are my grandparents. I never wanted to lived with them but I had no choice my father was not fit to take care of […]

12/14/2015 9 comments

Why?

by insignificant02 12/11/2015

written by insignificant02

Why?

Why does no one care?

Why does no one see that I’m hurting?

Why does no one understand that to me, presence is more important than presents?

Why am I still alive if I don’t want to be?

Why does life feel like a stream pulling me down? Why do I feel like it would be a lot easier to give up than to keep fighting?

Why can I not be happy?

I guess it doesn’t matter. Because, if they don’t understand my silence, the won’t understand my words.

12/11/2015 3 comments

stupid…

by Nowhere88 12/8/2015

written by Nowhere88

I’m 30 now and still can’t Forget my father spanking me, pointing the gun to my mom’s head. My older brother and sister hitting me and hurting me, and other kids making fun of me at school. They hurt me so many times and then they ran away soon and I had to grow up as an only son. I cannot forget that I could not sleep quietly because he threatened so many times of starting a fire on our house and on me and my mom in the Middle of the night and Kill us both and himself right after. I can’t just erase […]

12/8/2015 6 comments

Protected: Sometimes I feel dangerous, and obligated to keep people safe by ending myself.

by whiskered-fish 12/4/2015

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

12/4/2015 3 comments

When is it going to end?

by imperfectjenny 11/29/2015

written by imperfectjenny

Apparently I was already a member here, but I don’t remember joining. But I’m glad I re-found this site. I need a non-judgemental place to talk. I’ll try to keep it short. 😛

I’ve been severely depressed and suicidal for over 19 years now. I’ve had some periods of “ok-ness”, but nothing too exciting. Pretty much tried all the meds/med combos/ketamine infusion/ECT/different therapies/hospitalizations/residentials/etc. Had some random, minor attempts. And here I am today, still depressed as hell & just wanting to end it all.

My nephew killed himself almost 2 years ago. It was extremely heartbreaking and I’m still not even close to being over it. If […]

11/29/2015 21 comments

Sad and Alone with NO HOPE!!!

by Regge 11/23/2015

written by Regge

Well, here I go. I quit my job of 15yrs back in May, withdrew what I had in my retirement account. I have been living off of that the last 6months. I can survive another 19 months or so without finding a job. I have found jobs here and there but quit if I just did not like it. My background is in customer service and my last job was working for the local government. I was a supervisor and did not want that responsibility anymore. Most prospective employers pass me by because of my experience and think I would not take the pay cut. I […]

11/23/2015 11 comments

I’m hurting so fucking bad

by nicole123 11/22/2015

written by nicole123

No one understands this feeling . It drives me fucking insane because I can’t explain it. I feel like I’ve been sucked into darkness and I can’t get out of it. I feel like I’m starting to feel nothing and that scares me . I’d rather feel everything .. I am so alone . I’m so alone in this big world . There are so many people do why can’t I find a few that I can be friends with? I literally do not fit in with anyone . No one understand me . Know one listens to the music like I do , or […]

11/22/2015 9 comments

still laughing at myself

by confused 11/17/2015

written by confused

I’m a doll. A toy. I am not alive. I have no emotions. I feel nothing. I am nothing.

If I keep telling this to myself, I wonder, will I finally stop hurting? Will I finally stop being so sensitive? If I keep telling this to myself, will I eventually believe it? Will it become true?

When will it end? Can’t I just become nothing? Can I not just be empty?

I don’t want to feel pain, or sorrow, or disappointment. I don’t want to hurt anymore. I don’t want to feel lonely anymore. I don’t want to feel joy and happiness and excitement, when it just ends […]

11/17/2015 4 comments

I didn’t mean to hurt them

by Cro0kedYoung 11/16/2015

written by Cro0kedYoung

I was hurting. I still am, but I never meant to hurt anybody in the process..

11/16/2015 1 comment

by Sammi6xoxo 10/31/2015

written by Sammi6xoxo

I loved him until my last breath. I’m just so tired of hurting people. I fucked up. I hurt him badly. I didn’t mean to. He made me feel like I was worth something. Like I could do anything. He was the only one who made me feel that way. He hates me now. That’s okay. I hate me too. I always have. He made the voices go away. He made the nightmares go away. But now they’re back and stronger than ever. There’s something mesmerizing about blood running down a shower drain. Getting a little dizzy.. Maybe this is it. I’m sorry. You guys […]

10/31/2015 5 comments

Poem for today

by kzn123 10/28/2015

written by kzn123

I’m new to here, so hello… I’ve been feeling down for a while now and alots been going on… I’m sure a lot of you can relate to this poem …

You make me feel so worthless
So depressed and so alone
You make me feel like crying
And cutting deep into the bone

You look at me in solitude
With your evil looking glare
Make me feel so worthless
Like I’m living in despair

I want you to understand
To have some gratitude in there
To feel the emptiness I feel
And the loneliness in the bed we share

Why am I here
What have I done
Will […]

10/28/2015 9 comments

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