I have been trying for years to look deep inside myself in search of some kind of humanly feelings. All I have find is hollow and empty nothingness. There is a deep hollow void in my heart that cant be filled by anything.
Yes, I smile I laugh, but those are all just fake. I have perfected it over the years. Fake emotions.
There is also some darkness lurking inside of me. I have kept that dark flame in me at bay for quite some time, but now, I feel like Im losing that battle. Im getting darker and darker by the day.
It scares […]
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Today i woke up from a horrible dream. To stay up to cry about the baby i lost. And now 3 years later i look over to the one that saved me from ending it all with her relentless love and dedication but as fast as it came it left. It kills me when you give up your life to move across state to make their family yours its depressing when your treated like shit by the person your even here for in the first place. Its fucked up how people lie and deceive you over and over like have you any remorse?? I dont […]
People might get the wrong impression from a 27 year old man saying this, but im sharing it because probably some of us here experience the same .
Well not in those days when it seems like all hope is lost.
But every now and then feels like all i needed was to be held to be cuddled to have someone hugging me , strocking my hair and tell me it’s gonna be ok . to show me a different perspective on things.
Does the same happens to you?
im not really sure what im expecting from this i guess
maybe someone to relate to? im not sure anymore, i just need someone
im completely lost and torn between wanting to live and wanting to die
i’m a 15 year old female from scotland, and honestly, all i want is a friend
guys, im ready to leave, thank you alll xx
Why am i here still, I don’t want to be, i have started to gather equipment together, im doing this
Dreams better than reality? Why Dream is better than reality? Why is Dreams better than reality?
by niki
written by niki
Why Dreams is better than reality?
Why is Dream better than reality?
Why is dreams better than reality? Why dream is better than reality?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi / sci fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, MMORPG , Interstellar , The Matrix , Avengers , X-Men , etc etc, they are much more interesting, full […]
I am currently 20 years old and feeling trapped in a life I do not want to lead.
It all starts with myself when I was a couple years younger, just always trying to impress my parents, trying so very hard to make them proud, and just being a nice/happy person. I chose a career field, that I absolutely despise, to go to university for to please my parents. They have constant control over my life. Looking at my grades. Making sure I am doing well 24/7. I do not get along with them. I have dreams of traveling the planet and not be so close […]
Today was actually great.
im feeling low right now but other than that I’m doing good today .
and it was so beautiful outside , and I got to see my love.
ive decided to find something I’m good at, or at least find a hobby .
i love jewelry, and stones, so I’m gonna teach myself how to metalsmith . It’s gonna take time and money, but doesn’t everything ?
Ive never had a hobby , or even if I did it was only for a short while . Instead of laying in bed every second of the day, I’m going to find something I love to do.
I really […]
Hello,
Ill start this post off by descriping what type of person I am. Physically fit person who never judges and always forgive. Always going out of my way (physically & emotionaly) to see people improve in there current situation. I act as a theorpist to people who need someone to talk too, giving them good advice making them feel like they have a chance. I would say im that person you would always smile at, never fear. Extremly logical, always keeping my self in a realistic and calm state of mind. With every person meet I would gain […]
Last night I got so incredibly drunk.
I was so drunk. I haven’t gotten like that in a while .
i still feel the aftermath now . And I’m going to work I feel like absolute shit .
but last night I was driving home an I wanted to go 100 mph and crash my car into something . I was so sad.
i get so angry and confused and sad.
im going crazy. I’m so tired
Am i honestly tired of trying? Yes.ive attempted suicide several times wrote and went through with it but at the last minute i got scared and sought the er this always seems to happen to the point were im expecting ill end up there. I came close to death once unexpectedly overdosing on sleeping pills i was feeling really uncomfortably sleepy and begging my mom to not let me go but that didn’t stop me from trying again that wont stop me now from trying again.to some it would seem were does it end my sister said im putting everyone through a lot of stress […]
I really wanna go back to the psych unit because I fucking hate being in the real world because people expect things of me and when im there no one expects anything but for me to be sad and thats really all i can do and i hate people in my school because they dont understand how sensitive i am and i really wanna kill myself just to prove them a fucking point and no one understands me and just kinda laughs at the weird things i do when im trying to be serious and im just done being the only person in the whole […]
it could always get worse, and it did…my bf broke up with me because im a piece of shit and i need help, and im just bringing him down.
okay, so i am very very very lonely. and im sorry if this isnt a well written passage but i just need to try and talk for a moment. i want to die. and i hate myself for wanting it. i hate myself for feeling that i need it. that im not good enough to fix myeslf or to make myself stronger. i hate that i even think of leaving all the people and the places behimd even when it feels like theyre gone and ill never be able to get them back. i hate a lot of things. mostly just myself though. all the […]
i’ve been feeling worthless. been going through a break down every night for the past week. been googling a “peaceful way” to leave this planet with no avail. been eating bags and bags of candy because im a fat p.o.s. and i cant throw up anymore because my gag reflex is shot. wheres my self control?
i dont know all i can say is that i really am close to killing myself. im really waiting it out because I am transgendered and i have my first appt to hopefully start my hormonal therapy. im HOPING i will feel less depressed, less suicidal now that im going […]
I could say that im stuck between moving back home and stay here and going to a shelter but im not. I don’t want to run back home after you hurt me for the millionth time…again i believed your lies at first. Then i knew they where lies but hoped maybe its not a lie this time. You say we can work it out but you cause me pain.. I dont hurt you.. If we switched roles.. If i lied throughout our whole relationship..maybe you would understand. Being with you adding more things to the list that triggers my ptsd. I hate myself for loving […]
you run , you love,
you could you wont,
you stay, you feel,
you should, you wont
You wont be allowed to being attached to someone without pain.
You wont be allowed to get what you want without hurt someone.
there are friends outhere , waitting for you
and most of the time they love you more than you will love them .
This time…
theres is no one waiting for me, no one who could love me more than I do,
I need to talk , to do something, to get out of my head all those “friendly” people who doesn’t love me back!
Damn it im such […]
I honestly dont think i will ever be happy! i try so hard to be happy, i really do but i have too many problems. im too stressed and depressed! i dont know how to deal with it anymore. i honestly feel like i have nobody! theres nobody for me to talk to about how i feel, i dont know how to talk to my friends and family about how im feeling so i usually just keep it all bottled up inside. and it has all just gotten too much me! i need someone to talk to, someone that will help and be there for […]
I wanna kill myself tonight , i wanna slip away from sadness. Be forever done with feeling like the room is getting small the air getting thicker and theres more room on the floor i can breath better. But i cant freak out in front of them. So i hold it in. Im dead inside i dont want to feel anymore.