Hi, I’m sorry for this. I’m really sorry. This seems like the best way to get it out thought. I’ve realized it time and time again.
I’m going to die. Life has no meaning. There is no purpose of conscious existence. I rather wish we lived in a world were they could be no existentialism, but obviously not. There is, a simple way out however. So simple. And it would be worth it. It really would.
I have a plan. I’ve been thinking about it for the longest time. Please, please, in the comments, this is a heavy rant, and I know you’ll want to […]
Tag:
killing myself
I have given up.
My parents are wasting money away with my goddamn pills and therapy. But I’m not getting better. I’ve been on medication for almost a month and I’m not getting better. Nothing is. In fact I’m falling apart. And everyone ignores this, my parents don’t want to even talk about anything related to my mental health issues.
I feel like such a burden. I am exhausted all day, I can’t eat as much as I used to years ago, every day is a struggle and I can’t concentrate on school or the things I loved anymore.
I’m so tired. I’m sorry to everyone who had […]
It use to only be when I was alone that I thought about dying and killing myself. But tonight while I was out clubbing with my friends all I could think about was death and how much easier it would be. As I stood there trying to dance I looked around at all the other people of the dance floor and they looked so happy and carefree and I just couldn’t help but think how stupid it was because life is pointless.
It’s funny. I never published this post because my friend came and jumped in my bed because she could tell I was upset and […]
I am sick of this garbage.
I am sick of myself.
WHAT THE FUCK DOES EVERYONE EXPECT OUT OF ME.
Killing myself is too fucking easy.
I swear sometimes I feel like there has to be some old fuck in the sky getting off to this shit, because it’s getting too ridiculous for coincidences.
FUCK, I should have gotten that cancer not my Dad, it isn’t fair. Why does he have to suffer, why does one of the only reasonable person I actually care about in my family gets cancer.
I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO FUCKING DIE FOR YEARS. What if he dies, do you think I’m going to kill myself […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I had a post a couple days ago where I mentioned I was very seriously considering killing myself that day. I don’t think anyone saw it so it probably doesn’t matter, but in case anyone did wonder, I’m still here.
Anyway, my therapist told me she thinks I am self-aware and articulate, and I’m pretty much still reeling from the fact that someone who has any insight into the inner workings of my mind would have anything even remotely complimentary to say. So there’s that, I guess.
I promised on killing myself on April 6th.
But now I realize I have no time.
I need to get everything organized. But I don’t wanna change the date.
ARGHHHHH.
Lord. lord lord lord.
You know what I hate? Today I am in a good mood. You know that scares me.
Because now I just think, “Wow….What if on April 6th I am in a good mood?”
I don’t have the rope ready!
Dear god its so close I don’t have time!!!!
I DON’T WANNA CHANGE THE DATE SOMEONE HELP.
Tomorrow I have an appointment in the hospital about suicide stuff after I was admitted two weeks ago.
I plan on killing myself on April 6th.
They brought up youth protection services a few times, and let me be real, I am not in accordance to that.
I can’t let them admit me and keep me in. I have to get myself out the mess that well, it feels, they created.
What do I tell them? What lies?
I gotta figure out something.
Urgh.
Cringe cringe cringe cringe I’m sick of this shit being dumped on me can’t handle it anymore even though I probably sound happy as fuck I’m not. Im slowly killing myself everyday causing my own pain I’m sick of my so called “brother” taking advantage of me. Just because he wants to fix his own life don’t come destroying mine honestly you made your decision marrying that ***** who takes control over your whole and the minute you say no she never lets you forget and then you get depressed and drink your own sorrows away. Can’t you see i’m trying to recover and heal […]
I don’t want to be here anymore. I regret it everytime I come. If I ever helped someone with my words then great. I know what I did and didn’t do or say to the one I’m sad over. I still endure those feelings, but I did this to myself. Like I’ve always done before and relized it now. If I was thankful for not killing myself when I had the strength to, I would say it. I’m going to be something I loathe, a cut-throat type of person because I know I won’t find happiness like that again. I’ll either […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I’m thinking of killing myself at the next train station. Trains pass by at high speeds. Just one step in front of it and it’s all over. I thought of taking my camera and make a long exposure photo of me jumping in front of the train. Would get a great photo as the end of my life. At least something to be remembered for
I’ve just needed to get this story off my chest. It’s been two years, and I’ve only told two friends and my councilor. This isn’t much of a story, but when I begin to think about suicide I remember the saving thought that I had. A lot of the time we feel so alone in the world. It can be for many reasons, but I think what I learned is, you’re not alone. No matter what you want to believe to make choosing suicide easier, you’re not alone, someone will still feel grief for you when you pass. For some people that’s not much of […]
i’m a sick and fucked up person, i’m the kind of person i hate. i have spent years of my life doing disgusting and creepy things, and it’s messed with my brain. and i have deeply hurt my girlfriend, despite how much i love her.
i have had a lot of suicidal thoughts recently, but this is different. this is logical, not emotional. i have always believed that creeps like me are scum who deserve to die. so why should i let myself live? i am putting everything into changing and becoming a better person, but what if i can’t change? if this sick and disgusting […]
UPDATE: I started typing this last night when I was on the verge of killing myself. Obviously I didn’t….. But I decided to share anyways.
Here I am telling my story to strangers, that will never really know me. I could have told someone else, but she wouldn’t listen. I could have told her family, but it would have hurt them too much. It destroys me to know the amount of pain they will endure, but at what point do I get to stop suffering? I can’t carry on living in misery, just to spare everyone some pain. Life is a giant shit sandwich, and right now I’m just […]
All I want is some peace of mind. And I can’t even do it. Im scared of killing myself. Id probably mess it up if i did try! Life hurts every waking moment. Im stuck, I’m forever hurting, crying, dying to live!
Usualy people dread mondays, something i’ve always found dificult to grasp as my least favourite day of the week has always been Sunday, specially since my depression and suicidal thoughts began, specially now during the winter. when the cold and cloudy days take their toll.
And here i am again in the living room thinking about killing myself, and as opposed to perhaps all of you wishing for Monday to kick in.
I’m 15 and I have zero friends and just want some one to talk to. I’ve never really had any friends/girlfriend. I fell like just killing myself idk what to do anymore.
Started with a new psychiatrist recently. When I told her I couldn’t stop thinking about killing myself she immediately started me on anti-psychotics. I’ve never been on them before, and I have to say I do feel a little better. And I couldn’t get what I needed for my plan anyway, so the plan is on hold. For now. We’ll see how long this medicine works.
A few weeks ago, I was starting to get hope that I wouldn’t kill myself, that my future is still bright. Then suddenly, it all disappeared due to the pressure I get in trying to keep up in school. My suicide date is a few weeks away and I want to stop myself from killing myself, but the rest of myself is pretty convinced that I should end my life soon. I’m starting to avoid homework and other things altogether because one, I’m tired of school and that it drains the life out of me. I mean, who wouldn’t be tired when you wake up […]
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