Hiya guys I’ve just made this account and lately I want to grab a hold of my weight I started gaining weight in like 6th grade and it stopped. Then I lost some because I had struggles with eating and I would go weeks and Months without eating nothing and if I did it was like a bite of something. Well this year I started eating again and adding weight to myself but I was never actually skinny. But now I am un comfortable with my body and my looks. And I pls on starving myself again or only maybe one thing a day idk […]
i am fed up with my life. i loose everything in my lyf, i lost my 1st love he dumps me after that i lost my 2nd love u can say 4 years relationship break up. he dump me very badly cant tell u everything, but my 2nd love is my real love. i am tottaly break. and my brother left me. i am doing mca. but can’nt concentrate on my studies due to this i have lots of supplies. and now i lose my job. my mom alwyz teasing me because i am not inteligent and also that because i have bf, not bf he […]
I’ve already stated how I’m waiting for summer to do anything and I’m not really sure how many, if any, people have been keeping up with my posts but I don’t know how much longer I can hold on. When I first became depressed I found that I could escape my feelings by playing video games and it’s been effective until recently. A game comes out in a couple days that should keep distracted a little while longer but when I inevitably lose interest in it I don’t know what I’m going to do, I’m already on the verge of giving up and doing something […]
Just a thought, but does any one else feel the weight of your future, and notice how light it is? Do you feel like whatever lies in front of you will be so minuscule that it’s not really worth fighting for such a small success? I don’t know, call me a whiny ***** but I can’t really get my mind off of it lately. I guess I give off the same vibes as any other depressed, jobless sonofabitch. But I can’t say I blame me, or anyone else for feeling that way. When you get sucked into a state of depression, or are overpowered by your […]
yet i still didn’t want to get out of bed. I’m pretty impressed i managed to one step at a time. taking of my clothes from yesterday one article at a time. convinced myself to throw on some nice smelling spray deodorant and put on fresh clothes. I shoulda stayed in bed though.
Today I feel worthless. like a waste. I resigned form my job because I got another job offer at another place. I feel kinda awful, like I’m abandoning them. Like this new job won’t work out. Like I’ll be a failure and lose everything. I know this is what life is like but […]
I can’t stand it anymore. Despite the fact I had a miscarriage and I feel lonely and suicidal, my parents are pushing me over the edge. I’m forced to live with my mom which gets angry at everything and she doesn’t let me do anything even though I’m almost twenty. She locks me in her house which makes me more depressed. I feel trapped, I don’t have freedom, I don’t have anything. My dad calls me fat and is trying to force me to go to the gym while I still can’t get over my miscarriage and don’t want to lose my bump. It reminds me […]
its the only thing that keeps me going, I feel constantly paranoid that the people who are here for me now will lose interest in me
I want to make them love me as much as I do them how can I change myself for them
We deserve the right to die with dignity. No adult should feel forced to live against his or her will. If a grownup really wants to die, there should be nothing denying him that right. I don’t want to risk surviving a fatal suicide attempt. I just want to die and be free from Earth. I’m tired of playing in the sandbox. I’m tired of the competition, mysteries, and hopelessness and I deserve a painless, easy death. We’re all going to die anyway and possibly lose everything, so why does killing oneself have to be so hard. I’ve thought long and hard about this and […]
Oknso i am so afaid for tomorrow it’s not normal. My father is probaly gonna come and drag me out of my husbands grandparents house. And. One out of two things are gonna happen .
1. My marriage will break
2. Or i lose all contact with my family
So i dont know how im gonna make threw the night.
And on top of that my brother is getting a divorice and its all my fault.
Why is it my fault because when I first came to fl my parents did not want me here and threaten to drag me put of my inlaws house were i […]
In the beginning there was darkness, and that seemed like all there would ever be. Then something amazing happened. A massive burst of light lit up all of existence while simultaneously creating it. In my case, the darkness would be my life. Not chaos, and there was no pain, but there was nothing to light it up, nothing to justify its existence. Then she came into my life, and it all became clear. I no longer feared the depths of myself, and I felt like the invisible hand that seemed to crush me from all sides loosened its grip. It was pure randomness, chaos that […]
So I have severe social anxiety and have only had one ltr which was an ldr. Im trying to lose weight and do more stuff in order to possibly meet someone special. So at work in order to destigmatize talking to women i decided to say hi how are you or some variation to every girl i could at work. I work at a huge warehouse and we all have to move really fast. So i couldn’t keep any long convos going.(good im terrible at small talk) I didn’t have a panic attack the whole time and im proud of myself. Im going to continue […]
She’s gone from this…….
to this. This is what it looks like when all the life energy has gone
I sit here crying as I watch beside me my little girl dying before my eyes.
She is shaking […]
Why am I back here? I suppose I’m afraid. Afraid that it’s all just empty. All the crap I fill my mind with to keep me going. It’s all just illusory. Most of it’s fantasy, and what isn’t is hollow.
And maybe sensing this makes me afraid. Because maybe humans need to believe in goals to survive and thrive. Maybe we need to believe that this one thing we’re focusing on will make everything worthwhile. Because if we lose that belief, then why do anything? Why not just lay down and die?
Apathy is a threat to survival. Maybe that is why I’m afraid.
My escape has always been, and always will be, reading. I’d spend days reading book after book in series before moving onto the next series that caught my interest. Harry Potter, 13 to Life, Shiver, Hush Hush, Fallen, etc. I’d lose myself into the fantasy, just for a little while, and it would ease my pain. It’d make me forget I was sad, if only for a little while.
Now that I’m in college, I don’t have much time for escaping. Not with the work loaded down on me. 5 hours of homework from Accounting 1100 (per day,) at least 4 hours for English, Psychology, and […]
I have been struggling with depression for quite a while now. It hit me hard in March last year and it ended up with a suicide attempt that was close to being a success in late October.
After my suicide attempt i decided to make a change, but after i had a big breakdown at my birthday in december i realized that it wouldn’t happen.
To my surprise i got a job offer abroad, i have been here for a couple of weeks now, and things have been great ever since i got the offer really. But today i felt it was coming back, and it’s coming […]
i’m probably on the edge of a breakup and i’m really scared. i’m trying so hard to be unselfish – no cutting and no starving myself. i’m taking care of myself for the sake of others, if not for myself.
some bad stuff happened and my girlfriend and i hadn’t talked in several days (we’re long distance), but i was still trying to be positive about our relationship. then yesterday i got some really angry messages. last night i ordered some of her favorite kind of chips, which have been discontinued, for $36. i keep wondering whether she will still be my girlfriend by the time […]
I want to die I can’t take living anymore I’m going to destroy everything and lose the person who was one of my only reasons for living , I’m just a worthless cowardly piece of shit , I hope I don’t wake up tomorrow
I feel pointless even thinking about what I want, since the universe is against me, but first… I’ve found these videos that make me die laughing. This is my favorite, because it’s just so random and so ridiculous. But I’ve binge watched every video on the channel since yesterday when I found it. I prefer the videos without music, but for the live performances, those are best when they have very bad instrumentals too.
But anyway, I can’t claim to know if this is exactly what I want out of life because if I had it my way entirely, that would probably consist of winning the lottery, […]
So new year is here and not 5 minutes and bullshit happens already.
I vomit at a friends party and lose my midnight kiss, by the end of the night i embarrassed myself infront of the people whose opinions i actually care about and just feel like shit.
Bring in more shit this year
My dear nephew you’re so young you won’t even begin to understand this decision so it might not even effect you the holidays are coming and shall i perish now or in the future you’re mother will be given a paper copy of this note and she’ll give it to you when you’re old enough so here i go as you may or may not know already i could never manage to have children of my own and never really found happiness but everytime you huged me it brightened my world and i want you to know if anything ever happened to your mom or […]