When I apologized to you the other day in case my inquiry had upset you, I had not yet seen your comment. Yesterday I saw it and read it and I felt hurt again even though I know I am not responsible for your hurt, but we are all in this thing together, and I just feel bad and think in the future I must be even more careful about asking people here questions. I cannot seem to find your comment in order to reply to it there, so I am doing it here. Even if we can consider it healing therapy to hurt and cry, I still feel […]
Every day feels like a living nightmare. I am asleep all day with nightmares of my abuse and losing the only things left that I care about. I have no energy all day. I’m awake all night and all I do is write but now I’m losing that too. It physically hurts to move and breathe. I don’t want to be here anymore. I just want to disappear. I’m sick of the flashbacks, and the yelling, and being sick with mental illness. I’m sick of everything and I don’t want to do this anymore.
Hey guys,
Ive only been suicidal for about 2 months now although ive had obsessive thoughts, depression, and anxiety most of my life (im 27 f). It all started for me when i suddenly started having significant perceptual difficulties as well as cognitive (memory) problems along with severe debilitating anxiety and depression. After researching it myself and talking to dr.s I then convinced myself that i must be developing a mental illness or something similar to schizophrenia. The fear has taken over my life and the idea of having a psychotic mental illness is something that i couldnt live with so although i havent full blown developed it yet i feel […]
I don’t get it
I don’t get why were expected to LIVE in a society where it’s so hard TOO live. What has past generations done to us, done to the country, done to the world.
WE ARE ANIMALS, nothing more, nothing less.
Why are there rules to live, laws, what gives us the right to wipe out other species of animal, what gives us the right to burn down natural landscapes. We are animals, we are agressive, we DO have hunting instincts, whats the point in money and destroying the plannet. I’m ashamed to be human.
Why do we have to put up with so much shit in […]
you know its intresting.I start to think more about what if i do succede what my death will mean if it actually happens.and a little bit o topic okay ive heard a lot of people saying barbiturates are the only medication that will kill you not you.Ive overdosed a lot in the past when im not cutting or burning or drinking nasal spray.I almost died from the use of sleeping pills and lithium which i was taken off of right after.Now i find there are different types of suicide.Some people i wouldnt consider suicidal cause there just bored with life its not really emotion.Some people […]
As my days tick down i grow a little nervous, but at the same time relieved that my suffering will soon come to an end. I’m starting to feel the emotional pain of those left behind and what they will feel. But I’m really not close to my family and have no kids so they will recover just fine. i think they will understand that my mental illness has been too much and the future looks grim. I’m wrapping up final details here and there. tomorrow I get dog his bordetella vaccine so he can be boarded for 3 days till my father picks him […]
I have always believed that Suicide is a personal choice and that it should be a lawful and valid answer for any ADULT (sorry, there is SOOOOO much drama during the teen years that if legal EVERYONE would commit suicide) that is in so much physical or psychological pain that they just want out.
If you are in so much physical pain – from an illness, injury, birth defect, etc. – that day-to-day life is a struggle and you are in constant unbearable pain, I believe that if all else has failed and you CHOOSE suicide, then you should be supported in your decision.
If you are […]
The author’s son, Michael, took his own life in 1969 at the age of 26, after a nearly decade-long struggle with some vaguely defined mental illness. Some of his psychiatrists (referred to not by name but by the appellation “Dr. First” “Dr. Second” “Dr. Third” etc. — there were eight), called it schizophrenia. It looks more like schizoaffective disorder or bipolar to me, but who knows. The point is, in spite of various different […]
I am a person who has been through so much in my 24 years of life. When I was 17 I was told told by a phsycologist that I have been through more than most 80 year olds go through in there life time and that he was amazed that I didnt having a severe mental illness like schitzaphrenia or bipolar. If you want to know about my story read my post, “crushing lonleness”.
However I believe that I would not be there strong, brave and socialy gifted person that I am today if it was not for all the pain that I have not […]
I’m just going to write and I’m not going to bother writing well. I know I will die of suicide, I just know it, since i was 12 i had a bet on with myself that i wouldn’t make it past nineteen, so just two years to go and it should be over. I’m not even going to bother going through all the shit I have been through, starting when i was four years old, and yet i tell people it all the time for the joy of seeing their faces. I’ve been raped and abused both sexually and emotionally (suprisingly the emotional abuse is […]
Ever since I was born life has never been easy for me.  My mother suffers from a mental Illness, my father was abusive and my uncles where thieves and drug dealers. I can’t remember back to when I was young, but I still have a few very vivid memories. When I was two one of my brothers and one of my sisters passed away. When I was three my mother and father split up.  My sister and 2 brothers and I got put into foster care only a year later. We moved on to abusive carers who beat us and punished us harshly. I remember being […]
Depression is very common in my family! In fact almost everyone on my mothers side suffers from some form of depression or mental illness. As I sit watching my happy and very silly baby boy run around the yard I am plagued with the crippling fear of passing on my depression to him. I can’t bear the thought of one day Broox wanting to take his own life or harming himself in any way. I wish there was a way I could scoop him up and hide him away so he is always this happy, silly, giggly care free beautiful boy that he is right […]
everyone makes suicide jokes around me
they make fun of cutters
they make fun of the disease that plagues my very existence.
does no one feel sympathy for mental illness in this world? just because its not directly killing me, no one gives a fuck.
People see my scars and smirk and whisper to one another. i wear black one day and instantly, im emo. i give up. i think im going to “trip” infront of a speeding SUV tomorrow.
I wanted to thank one person for asking if I can use help locating resources in my town, I appreciate it, actually I already have been using resources in my area, and unfortunately being bi-polar, I am to the point in my life where I trust almost no-one. Seems when I tell people that know me I am bi-polar, all of a suddenly I am treated differently. I had an experience about a month ago one of my AA sponsors already knew me a little and long story short made me feel like a psycho, so to him I say F**** off. One last thing […]
This is first time I have ever posted on web about suicide, this is actually pretty cool. I will not go into all my problems, just to the point where as so many other times in my life, I question why am I living? I have lost really great jobs, decent marraige, etc. and now I feel alone. I also like many others here have seen countless therapists, doctors, been diagnosed with two different things by several doctors, bottom line – I am miserable, I hate where my life is, unfortunately I do not have the balls to commit suicide. I prayed even today several […]
If u have a incurable disease that can be past though your genes it would be cruel to have children and pass it on. Yet my mum has had depression all her life and still had me and passed it on to me. Then I did the same like her and 2 of my 3 children have depression. I have great regret bringing them in the world and inflicting pain on them. It is selfish to have children to satisfy your own selfish needs. I wanted to be a mother and I didn’t once think about them. If I could turn back time I wouldn’t […]
According to experts you have a mental illness if: 1) You have “gross and persistent irresponsibility for social norms, rules and obligations(Antisocial Personality Disorder) 2) Actively refuses to comply with majorities – Requests or consensus supported rules -Argues often(Oppositional Defiance Disorder) It is sad how its not really your life, you are not free to live how you choose, society expects things even though it is your life. You are expected to : Get a job, get married, follow all laws,have kids,contribute to society. I just want to live for myself and do what I want to. Its sad how you are supposed […]
Nothing is getting better, I have lost almost everything I love. 27 years old and I no longer have any desire to go forward, to keep fighting. My mental illness has taken complete control over me. I need help but I can’t seem to find it. countless waiting lists fot doctors that just prescribe without listening. No one ever wants to listen. Things I used to love now seem pointless.  I may have to go soon.
the Suicide
Death dwells in the shadow just at your shoulder. You invited it in, you dined with it, you bathed with it, you lay with death.
Consumed by and consuming, death becomes both a path and a destination for you.
You write a final letter, a final note, and gulp down a bottle of pills, hoping it will all be over soon…
And then…
You wait…
But not long for as you soon take you final step…
You call for help.
But wait, this makes no sense?
Why would you wish for death, plan for death, and attempt to kill yourself only to give up and try to save yourself in […]
This POST is intended to shed some light on the feeling of not belonging to this world/being part of it. If you have a mental illness such as bipolar or schizophrenia please take your medication(s).
When I was 16 I tried to commit suicide if I would have succeeded I would not have known the beauty of seeing each one of my girls birth or watching them grow; Not known what it would have felt like to fall in-love nor see how great of a career I would have. I tried to get rid of myself simply because I did not belong.
After the incident I visited […]