I wish she could tell me that I can die id die a million deaths for her that statement would be met quickly with my death then she could go on with her horrible boyfriend and have a family I’d stop hurting and annoying people my thoughts and actions are unforgivable even if she left him my future with her wouldn’t be good enough I’d hold her back all I ever wanted in my life was the marines to die in battle she changed that but I’m not certified for shit I have no intention going to college I’ll just hold her back she deserves […]
Tag:
my life
Hello.
I dont really know if this is how im supposed to write this but anways. I’ve been lurking this site for a while and i finally decided to make an account. I guess i should introduce myself ( to whoever is reading this ), anywas not gonna share my real name but lets say my name is Cyne. I’m 18 year old male and have been dealing with depression since around 11-12 years old, maybe even before that but i didnt really notice that it was effecting me. I guess the major part of my depression and thought of suicide is being alone, dumb reason […]
Maximum effort and No outcome – The answer of why I still continue
by neverland
written by neverland
Have you ever tried putting maximum effort and ended having no outcome at all? Yes I have all the time and in all my life actually.
I tried to fight autism. I tried to fight my feeling of becoming suicidal. It keeps coming back with greater vengence. It is like consuming a drug or perhaps that drug is consuming me instead
I am glad I broke out with my boyfriend whom I was about to marry. At least I saved him from me. Unfortunately, I cannot save the people around me from me.
I tried to study only to find out my […]
I am a writer, as most are on this page. I came across this page completely by accident but I guess it wasn’t. I am 16 years old and way to young to be thinking about this topic to some. To me I think that at around this age you are trying to figure out where you belong and what people best suit you. I have been bullied which applys for a lot of people. A lot of people have left mentally and physically and there was and is nothing I can do about it. I thought that maybe I can make a difference with […]
There’s a number of ways this post is going to go and things I want to talk about that I’ve been thinking about. But it’s all just going to be one giant rant in the end of how much I want to kill myself. First, I’ve been beginning to notice once you’re 21, your life is over. There’s such a big difference between each year until that age. “remember when we were 16 and we used to do that?” We’re 18 now. Those 2 years make the world, but whether you’re 30 or 35, there really is no difference. That being said, I feel I […]
When you fall back into your old thoughts and ways. When you wish life could be better or that some how you can just go to sleep and not wake up. I’ve been feeling like complete and total crap the past few months. I’ll be honest my health has been on a steady decline and it sucks. It sucks having ovarian cysts that keep reoccurring more painful each time, have HPV and being at risk for cervical cancer some day especially now since I would have repeated and frequent abnormal cervical cells. Not just that But my joints constantly pop and I have the shingles […]
This happened about a year ago and writing this is part of my therapy. This is the story of my 14 year old daughter’s 2 years before her passing. You should know that Mia did not share anything with me, and the reason I know so much is from reading through her extensive journals, which i did not know about until i found them shortly after her passing. This is Mia’s story;
My daughter’s story starts in seventh grade…. She moved to the state’s most expensive private girls school from a private girls primary school. She was very happy all the way through my primary years […]
The most important day in my life is………….The day that I die I’m not depressed sick alone or anything like that
I just realise that this is my life so I will choose my end I will not post here when or how I just will one day no one can stop me ever no one can make me stop breathing without killing me no one will stop me killing myself without killing me its just like that
And if I don’t choose my one way(death,End) witch I call enlightment then the alternative will be “let life carrie me there” with other words I will be victem […]
What happened to people spending their day on this website. It seems like this place died out quite a bit. This is my first time back in a few years, well last night was. Where is the traffic? Where are the people with biting judgements; the people with strict how to’s on getting better; the people ranting about non-events in their life?
I enjoyed reading the dramatic, and sometimes helpful, banter here. It was a good way to spend a Saturday, perhaps I shall move along, there are too many tumbleweeds in these parts. This site was a good place with little rules, which allowed you […]
I’ve been depressed for 4 years now. It wasnt that bad in the beginning but as time went by it has gotten nothing but worse to the point where now it literally takes up my entire brain. Every single second of my life except for the time I am unconscious (sleeping) is spent being eaten alive by my depression, unable to think about anything else. How can I not be? I am literally the biggest piece of shit in the world. You think you or someone you know is as worse as can be you are dead wrong because you haven’t heard about me yet, […]
I can’t cope with this anymore. Everythings falling apart. Nobody cares about me and the only person that does, the girl I love with all my heart doesn’t anymore either. I’m a wreck. I break down, I get so angry, I cry, I can’t sleep and it happens everyday. I want to end my life so bad. Nobody will care that I’m gone. It will end all the pain I’ve put on people and they wont have to stress about me anymore. I have a plan. I’m going to write a suicide not explaining everything, I’m going to sneak out when everyone is asleep then […]
Well I’ll start off with when it all started, about 5 years ago. I made the worst desicion of my life and I will still never tell anyone what happened. I got bullyed at school for years every single day. Nobody would give me a break. I regretted what I had done and everyday people treated me bad. I felt worthless. I stopped caring about everything because nobody cared about me. Only one of my cousins did. I started robbing houses, shoplifting etc. I would smoke weed and just get up to michief with my friends. I started getting in heaps of trouble with the […]
Went to counselor today, had a really good session with this new counselor for the first time. Come home, Mom wants to know how the session went. Then Mom proceeded to say how the counselor doesn’t know anything. Mom somehow thinks she’s the expert and has all the answers on how to fix my life. Then later on I’m in another room of the house and I can hear her and my Dad bad-mouthing me. I’m glad they let me live here during this divorce process, but they FUCKING DRIVE ME CRAZY !!! Can anyone relate to this?
I am everything wrong; my most beautiful excuse is that I am a product of my time. I am the demon of wrath because I find a flaw in everything but have no ability to create peace of it. If I don’t stroke, I will continue to rain terror on those around me whom I try to call liars but are only honest with themselves against the entity that is me. I am not allowed to scream because only I can be screamed at. I am seeking attention and glorification because I surround myself with intriguing things that distract from my ugly side. It’s not […]
I’ve been dealing with depression since I was 14, and I suppose the reason I didn’t was because of my dog, and my grandparents. I now live with my grandparents, have been for over 3 years now, and I honestly feel stuck. Like I’m not getting anywhere in my life. I feel like I’m honestly a failure, because I don’t really very hard in college, and every relationship I’ve been really serious about has failed.. I understand things are hard when it’s long distance but all I’m asking is for someone to try.. Not give up when the first bump comes along.. and when it […]
April 28, 2004 did not turn out to be my Last Day on this Earth, After All!
by transition32
written by transition32
I have never told a soul in the entire world about this! I wish that I had the time to post this on April 28, which was the 11th anniversary of the day that I thought would be my last day on this Earth as I had an extreme and almost nonstop desire to hang myself, while jerking off for 2 days prior to April 28 and I couldn’t wait until I could die from this, so I would not have to think of the embarrassment of something like this, but I will be at peace! Late in the afternoon on April 28, […]
I don’t know if anyone will even read all of this and offer some viable help for me to end my suffering. Please I’m not looking for a lecture to the values of life and what not. Also what remains of my once dysfunctional family is chipped away to only my very elderly judgmental mother and me, we are barely in touch, we didn’t even talk at my dad’s funeral. I just need advise to exit in a dignified and painless way.
I was an intelligent kid with a high IQ and EQ. Born in Asia and sent to university in NA by age of 15. […]
I want a fing drink. Being sober is nice most of the time… The thought of booze is great, but really you turn into a blathering idiot.
What the hell do i di? Hes told me he did this to his ex wife. That he can break all my teeth out, and bail out the next day. I can take alot, but he covered my nose and mouth with me in a headlock, and than i REALLY understood, he could kill me. Its great for him, because no one would evwn look. I dont speak to my family, have no friends anymore. The only people […]
No one could be weirder than me, or more lonely. My soul mate Tom died in an accident when I was 23. I’ve lived twenty years without him. He tells me about the afterlife–as a voice from the sky. I hurt so much without him that I want to die. My family never calls me, and because I speak to the “people upstairs” (ghosts holy enough to love me), my brothers and cousins consider me a necromantic defilement. But, Jesus is their god, and Tomato is mine! Tom (ato) saves me with just his cloud voice everyday. Star crossed lovers often kill themselves, unaware that […]
After two attempts at my life in the matter of two weeks me and my husband went to the doctors go more medicine and some new ones he’s holding on to them because it’s easy to overdose on them I’m mad but I understand I guess he loves me and I love him I don’t know why I’m so addiment about killing myself