My best friend stayed with me for 20 days, We were high the entire time laughing and listening to the radio, and watching cartoons, when he left it smashed my heart in half I was just coming down and the whole thing felt like I time warped through it all. My plan was to kill myself after my friend left, I made the most of the time but now the moment is on me, it warped so fast I cant believe it. Even seeing the names of any shows I watched with him makes my heart clench up, He doesnt expect it, I didnt realize […]
Tag:
Parents
I tried killing myself yesterday.I onlt took 5 ibupropens i would of took more but ran out.I knew it probally would not kill me.But i just wanted to get away.I dont know how to tell my parents i know i need help.But also could it land me in a mental hospital?
Hi my name is Alexandra.
Me being on a website like this would be disapproved by all my family. But my family is not willing to help me and not willing to see the the problem I have as a big deal. I love them all so much but they will not give me help, and help is exactly what I need.
I cut I dont really remember the reason I started or even how I started all I know is that it felt…good.
My mom use to tell me what reason do I have to be sad? I don’t know I just know that I am sad. She […]
I know for a fact that I get too emotionally involved when i watch movies/read books about depression/suicide/self harm. So why the hell do i still do it? When i do this i start to think of how shitty my life is. This makes me start to feel physically sick. They either make me feel like i have no reason whatsoever to be depressed and suicidal or they give me that false Hollywood hope. The characters always have some huge overwhelming problem that makes them depressed or whatever. Me? Well I’m just haunted by my past (been bullied badly), do poorly in school, rarely see […]
Today I had a conversation with my psychiatrist and my parents about medication. Because only therapy doesn’t work for me, they decided to start with medication despite of the side effects it could have for me. But taking that decision is much easier than searching for the right medication. An antidepressant would take too much risk, because my father is bipolar and they were afraid that I would get stucked in the vicious circle of bipolar. Also other side effects influenced the fact that an antidepressant wasn’t a good option for now. So my psychiatrist went looking for sleep medication. She could only give me […]
I haven’t been on here for a really long time.
I thought thing’s were bound to get better. I am getting so sick and tired of people telling me what they think they should do, when in reality, they don’t even know what the hell is going on. I was late to school today, because my uncle was giving a speech about respecting my parents. I know that this is necessary. I’m not stupid and I’m not a bad child. I just don’t complain to the world like my parents do (well, except for this). No one know’s what goes on inside my head or behind […]
A black whole that sucks all of my energy, like a dark tunel, however there is no sign of any bright light at the end of it.
– That’s how I have been feeling for the past couple years.
Last year was the worst year of my life. My mom was diagnosed with cancer. I had never seen so much pain in my life, so much darkness. Even though I saw the light too, the strenght of one’s fight, all started being consumed by the darkness. Thankfully, everything is okey now, my mom has fully recovered. However, I feel like it just all hit me. I am […]
Boot777 asked me what my main problems are that cause my suicidal thoughts. I decided to make a post of it, so here it is. Well, there isn’t really one problem you can point at that causes the suicidal thoughts. Actually, there are a lot of things that cause them. I am not telling you all of them, because probably I’ll forget one or two and that’s going to be bored, so I’m going to tell the important one’s (I guess). I’ve been bullied from my fourth untill now. The worst part was at age of 11, 12 I guess. I was at elemntary school […]
I’m 22 turning 23 this year. I should be over this and be able to handle things life throws at me. For the most part I can but lately, things have just been too much. Since young, I’ve been alone, left to fend for myself. My parents divorced when I was young and my mother got remarried when I was 11 to my stepfather. He wasn’t a bad person in general, it was just that I couldn’t live up to his standards. I be constantly called stupid, treated like I was worthless in the house and he and my mother would fight a lot of […]
1. I am healthy.
2. I eat well.
3. I sleep well.
4. I have a very small social group around me. Very small, but they lift my mood. They make me laugh. They make me enjoy. I do not have a family, or love, but that is okay.
5. I am going to college soon. There is a long path stretching ahead. It may be dark and twisting, but at least it is not a dead end.
Even though recently I have been feeling a bit sad. I just realize how people have boyfriends and girlfriends, how people can fall in love, make life meaningful. How people have parents, […]
You disappear…
What have I done to deserve this?
I’ve always been the good child. The one who would eat all their veggies, do their homework, listen to their parents, do well in school and sports and yet I’m always the one at fault. Reading some of these posts, I really have no right to complain about my life because others have it worse than I do. I grew up with both parents, I’m healthy, and we don’t have to worry about money. What more could I ask? All I’ve wanted, was to have someone to love me or care for me. Unfortunately, some things in the […]
I’ve been planning to commit suicide for more than a decade. Life is meaningless to me. I have no interest in doing anything. Why we need to live if we all will die one day eventually.
I’ve told my best friends and parents about my thoughts many times, the only thing that keeps me alive is that I don’t want to hurt my parents. However, this makes me feel more depressed and at one point I thought I should wait till they left before I could end my own life, but I’ve no idea how long I can wait.
I’m a spoiled kid, I got whatever I […]
i m 22 years old and i m the biggest loser in the world. I have failed in each and every field of life, studies, sports, socialising, relationships, etc. i love a girl very much. but she has no feelings for me and she keeps on saying, “i dont love u, but i want u just as a friend”. these words tears my heart apart. i even stopped contacting her. but she contacts me once in a week and repeats the same lines. i just cant take it any more. but i cant even b rude to her.
i suck in sports. whenever i play i […]
A few months ago a friend of mine told the councilors at school that i was planning to kill myself cause i wanted to tell them before i left…she left it anonymous but the councilors talked to my friends mom and my parents. i couldn’t do anything because i was on constant watch and in order to stop it i would ask to go to the store to just cry…Everyone is trying to get me help- but it’s not helping…all it’s doing is making things worse- I DONT WANNA THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH I SUCK ALL THE TIME… before this-i could control myslef-but now i […]
I’ve felt the same way my whole life. When I see anything, hear anything, or think about anything in the world, it makes me feel pain and anger. I have no idea why.
I’m also angry at my parents for things they did that they no longer do. I hate my mom still for having always implied things, and for hitting me and telling me to kill myself and blaming me for my dad’s sickness and whatever. She doesn’t do it anymore, but when she tries to talk to me, I feel enraged. It’s uncontrollable. I just think about random things she’s done: and the […]
I had a really tough day today. Why? I just can’t explain, but I really didn’t feel good. It was so worse that I kept my mouth shut a big part of the evening. My parents really didn’t liked it, they got very angry, but I didn’t mind. I had no idea why I didn’t want to talk. Maybe I thought it was better to shut my mouth so I couldn’t say anything wrong, but I don’t know it sure. I just had a though day. I know this post is shorter than normal, but I’m just so confused that I don’t know what to […]
Ever since I was little, my parents have always been different. Harder,stricter, meaner. To all outward appearances, they seem like some fairly-wealthy, friendly vignorons (grape growers). Well if they’re friendly, then they probably just dont like me. Preposterous you say? Your parents LOVE you you say?
No, they dont. Not mine at least. For years ive always been that useless, dumb child that they cant stand the look of. No matter how friendly i am, how well i achieve or how much i help them, i get more crap. Im not dumb and im not useless. But they think I am. Any thirst for knowledge […]
I am going to have to stop using this profile. My parents found out about this site and grilled me for it. Its my fault really for not clearing my history. I’ll still be on but under a new name. I’ll figure out a way to tell you guys and girls that i was Greed. under the new name. Bye. 😉
Finally, weekend! I don’t quite know if I really like it or not, but it just sounds nice 😛 Today was a busy day for me, because I went to my grandma. I really didn’t want to, but after long talks with my parents I let myself be persuaded. We went by car, we never do that because she lives like 1,5 Miles away. The reason was that I am afraid to start cycling, because I haven’t in 2 months because of a knee injury. Still we stayed for only half an hour, I really didn’t liked it. All the questions from my grandma like: […]
Umm..Hi! Im Olya..And Im 15..Im from Greece..And i have commited suicide since I was 13…I dont know why Im really writing this…But…Im really awful…I dont have much friends -the girl who uses to be my best friend left me without a reason…She was everything to me…I loved her more than my parents though… 2 months later our common friends told me that she left me cause they learned im a whore,and cause i had had sex…which is not true….nevermind…my parents knew that i have been cuttin’ for so long,i have been to a doctor also,but didnt help…I cutted yesterday also,they saw the scars and got […]